what do you think of a husband that put his family before his wife?

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Love to Love	There has to be more about why you feel your needs are not as important as his adult children. He should let his adult children be adults but he should be a good father by being there when they need him. Adults still need their parents even when they are grown and have kids themselves. You need to examine your own heart for jealousy and control issues and you'll probably find your answer. As for the sex when you are sick actually sex is very helpful for those headaches because sex releases chemicals that can heal you and relax you. You just have to want to enjoy the experience. You probably have a negative mind set before it even begins and that is keeping you from enjoying it. If sex is unsatisfying then try what I did, masturbate in front of him right after he is finished. Work on a huge orgasm right in front of him. He may just get hard all over again. Tell him in loving ways what you would like for him to do to you. During sex do not be afraid to change the position yourself, tell him you want it harder or deeper or longer or tell him don't stop when you're close. Men like orders during sex cause it tells them how to be better. Take more control in sex and it will change your sex life forever. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

nancybuck8	Why did you marry him? Sounds like you are a little insecure around his kids.....then again he sounds like a complete @sshole. It's time you make him listen, give him an ultimatum," you be more respectful of my feelings or you and I are over".....if he say's fine you and I are over than he never loved you to begin with.....You really don't have anything to lose but the misery that you are caring around with you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Weiners and Beans	It should not be that way. Even more so when you have only been married one year. TRY to talk to him about it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

EJ	U need to communicate with you husband and tell him you need more than just sex u need for him to make love to you .That wrong that he is putting his family before you nobody comes first before you . You need to feel that you matter to him I'm sorry you feel that way but you have to talk to him just u and him alone soon. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

rime_cherry	there are plenty of caring and loving men out there (I hope..) so find yourself someone that will respect YOU and your needs and get out of this marriage..better off alone for some time then with a person that's mistreating you...don't you EVER EVER let a man put you down...I dont know you but I'm sure you can do much better than that!!!! All the best... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

crazybuckeye_1	sounds like most mens' thoughts really. it took my husband a long time to realize a wife is his family now,we were young. he felt for a long time his "family" should come first.i got tired of it filed for divorce and opened his eyes in a lot of ways.we never got a divorce and he sees things fine now.maybe you need to wake your husband up too. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

freetolovefreetobemefreetospeak	i dontknow only you can make the decision if you are going to tell him how ya fell if you dont you will continue to suffer Nisha Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kitcat	I was married to a man just like that for 7 yrs. All I know is that I felt miserable most of the time. It's a shame you did know or realize this before you marry him. I can't tell you what to do but the final decision lies with you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Nikie	Well I also have a husband who has children from a prior marriage. At the time that I met him they were small/young, so I could kind of understand why he needed to be there for his kids. If your husband is ignoring you for his adult, grown children then you need to let him know how you feel. But if his children are small then you kind of have to understand. They were his kids first before you were his wife. As far as the unsatisfying sex life well, be there have that. I too have a man who is old fashioned and totally self absorbed when it comes to sex. He believes in having complete satisfaction, but only his part. If I don't go along then pretty much its my own loss.He's your husband so if you don't want to deal with it then maybe you should leave. Let him also know about your feelings of non-fulfillment.Let yourself relax and not hold resentment for him about his kids and you maybe able to relax with him in bed. Just a thought for you. Take care and I wish you the best. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

danika1066	This situation sucks. You are feeling neglected, and he's not doing anything to make things better. Life is too short to live in an unhappy marriage. Either he will see the light, or you might have to leave him. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

hotbutter	u 2 really need to talk Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

chowderboxallnite	Run away. Why the hell are you stil there? Why did you marry him ? Doesn't anyone think before they do anything? Did you thnk the sex was going to get better after marriage? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Autumn	My husband puts his family first also, his mother and brothers. He spends hours at his mothers. I mean like 12 hours a day at his mothers. We hardly ever see him. And when he is here he is asleep. We have grown children who live at home. (24 and 26). I feel like a single parent. I will probably be leaving soon. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

nanny4hap	Some men are like that, many of them. Have you tried speaking to him in adult manner, tactfully. It seems you need marital counseling. You need to make your needs, feelings known to him in a nice manner, he can't read your mind. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

JAMES M	I think the both of you need to go get some counseling. Your husband sounds insensitive to your needs and wants and at the same time he's " running his nose up his kids butt" trying to " make up " for something he thinks was his fault or that he did. If the both of you are just " using " the other person in a mechanical way for sex, then yeppers...it's gonna be pretty " ho hum " which to me sounds like what's happening. if you don't like the other person, then it makes it hard. The " Love" part is easy...LIKING....the other person is the real challenge. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

<3	well it is his family but maybe he was picking on who was in the wrong or right Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

John B	Well Bonnie.....take a good look at his first marriage. Was the split up his idea or hers. If it was not his then he may have met you on the rebound and ended up marrying you because you helped him through it. His children are and should be very important to him. However it should never be to the exclusion of you. I am in kind of the same situation only from his end. I lost me first wife to another man. My current wife I did meet on the rebound but I do love her very much. The problem is she is very intimidated by my children and really does not feel she has been accepted by them. Well at least by my daughter. From what you have said it sounds to me like your husband may not love you as much as he should. Sorry to say that but it doesn't sound good. If he cared for you….you would get a lot more than unsatisfying sex from him. For him to insist that you go to bed no matter what is clearly not considering you at all. If up on occasion he needed it and you allow it then on other occasions he should go way out of his way to make it good for you. Most women I think that do not get the attention they need put a stop on the sex. What would happen if you did that? If he is not abusive the worse thing that could happen is he would want a divorce. Sorry to say it but you may be better of with that. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jennifer	you need to let him know that you r not going to take that crap from him....you r his wife...his adult kid can take care of themselves.....and sex whenever he wants ..oh hell no ....i would fake a headache every night until he begs me for it ...then i could get it the way I wanted!!!!...sorry to say but men need to be put in there place sometimes.... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Karen L	Any man who insists on having sex regardless of what his wife is feeling is a jerk. Given that and the fact that you are not satisfied, it's clear that he is viewing you as a convenient receptacle for his bodily fluids and that is it. If his kids are adults, then there is no reason for him to constantly put them first. (But, do you make an effort to get along with these adults or do they hate you on principle?) Frankly, he doesn't sound like much of a husband to me, or not the kind of husband I would want to spend my time on. You can either 1. Tell him very clearly just how unhappy you are and why. Then the ball is in his court to change or not. But indicate that the status quo will NOT continue and that remaining married will require a change of attitude and behavior on his part. 2. Just leave. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

nowhere	Depends but your marriage comes first, then family. Have you guys gone to counseling or other? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jojo	You need to communicate your feelings Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

luckoftheirish3090	you need to either tell him how you feel or leave Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sidekick	wife comes first, as with you the husband comes first, that is the foundation of a lifelong commitment to each other. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Common Sense	It does not sound like he is treating you like a wife.... Perhaps you should stop being his wife... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Bondgirl	I think he's not much of a husband. Why on earth did you marry him? I think you've allowed this to happen. Was the sex any good before? It's time (overdue) to lay down the law, instead of your body - and tell him the way it's going to be. MY WAY - or the highway. Maybe you should be sick & tired more often - and he'll understand it IS and insult. So is putting anything before your wife. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

yes_i_am	I'm assuming you are much younger than him. So, you are his trophy and he doesn't value you for more than sex. I could be wrong because you didn't state your ages. But anyway, it is way more satisfying to be happy than sad. You should have happiness in your relationship. If he doesn't shape up, ship him out! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

m91342	I suggest that you get out of that marriage quick!!!! nothing seems to be a benefit for yourself. Plus the sex is not good??? then why bother with all the stress???? Get out before too many years pass by..... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cheese food product	he sounds like a jerk. leave. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Gail S	Girl, you will never get a man to put you before his children. I don't care if they are adults. Now that unsatisfying sex, you chose that man as your husband. You didn't test the ride before you rode off with it? Sound like you jump in the wrong frying pan. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

rm081957	I dont know why you married him ,he is a jerk. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

rchl782	Sounds like he is all ME ME ME and not YOU YOU YOU A husband should treat his wife with respect and he should cherish her, and all that she does. If she is feeling sick, nurse her back to health. If she is tired, let her rest. Be there for her, support her, love her, treat her like your queen. It's really sad, but most men these days don't really seem to know what it is to have a wife. To take vows and honor them. In Sickness, Happiness, health, life, and death you are supposed to love one another. As for the sex, teach him how to satisfy you-be more aggressive. My husband was doing a terrible job at everything sex, until I told him where to touch me, how to touch me, and not to grab and paw at me. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No