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 Just a few newlywed husband issues... advice needed.?
My husband works 4 days a week, 12 hour nightshifts. He uses the exhaustion as a reason hes bitter all of the time.

Today, after I spent the day unpacking alot of our belongings, he comes ...


 How long is it exciting?
For how long after marriage does sex still feel exciting ?...


 Should your spouse come first or should your children come first?
...


 My wife is a lousy wife and mother.?
I don't wish to continue the relationship anymore. I feel trapped
she won't leave me and is very needy. I mention divorce and she says that she will stick me with childsupport. I realy ...


 How many women cook dinner for their family on a regular basis? Most of the women I know can't even cook!?
They think it's crazy that I make a dinner and dessert almost every night for my husband!...


 Would you let your husband/boyfriend go to a strip club?
I was just wondering how many women would allow their husbands to go out with their friends to a strip club....


 What would it take for you to have a threeway with your husband?
One of my girlfriends told her husband that she would have threeway sex with him and another woman for a new cell phone with an unlimited plan. Personally, I wouldn't do it for anything less ...


 would you class rude texts and pictures as cheating?
...


 My husband and the baby sitter?
Ok let me start off by saying that my husband is 20 yrs older than me. I am 23 and he is 42. We had a baby 6 months ago and my best friend keeps her for me during the day. My husband is a nurse ...


 is it still considered cheating?
he is married but his wife knows all about me... they have basically no relationship anymore and he is going to divorce her soon... i am just curious to see what others think about this... i love him ...


 my wife just died last month and I dont know what to do???
my wife just died and she has a court notice to appear in December and now she isnt here to go anymore. Idont know what to do. I think she has some debit in credit card. Should I call the court and ...


 Do you think it's wrong for a husband and wife to sleep in separate bedrooms?
we lie down together, watch TV, and do out "stuff", but ... as soon as he starts snoring I go to my bedroom. I really like this "luxury" because my bedroom furniture is very nice ...


 my 22 year old daughter is having an affair! what do i do to stop it? do i tell her husband?
...


 Open Marriage?
My wife keeps bringing up celebrities that have "open marriages". For those who have never heard of this, it is when both the husband and wife has the option to see other people within ...


 Cheating or Over reacting?
I know this sounds like a typical insecure woman, but i just cant help but fret over the fact that my husband keeps getting calls from these 2 women, one of whom he's only aparently met twice ...


 Do you think he is cheating?
My sister has been having serious marital problems. Her husband works out-of-town. He is constantly calling or hanging around a married woman co- worker. They spend money he really cannot afford on ...


 married woman...?
i am a married woman that is miserable in my marriage and i have been seeing this man who is also married. we have been together for 3 years but we both cannot get out of these relationships that we ...


 Men - would you be embarassed if your woman gave you...?
Flower? Well me and mine have been going through stuff and I'm going to meet him during our lunch break. I want to buy him some flowers but I'm not sure if he'll feel embarrassed going ...


 i need the perfect revenge plan?
ok so after 3 dates with my new bloke we slept together and upon leaving his flat he tells me he already has a girl friend already. i need the perfect revenge plan that leaves him looking completely ...


 Is cyber cheating the same thing as really cheating?
...



Bonduesa
what do you think of a husband that put his family before his wife?
I've been married only one yr. and feel like my feelings and needs are not important as his adult children, also when I'm feeling sick or tired he thinks that is an insult and I should jump in bed when "HE Wants" and be aggressive. All I get from him is a unsatifing sex anyways what to do anyone?



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Love to Love
Rating
There has to be more about why you feel your needs are not as important as his adult children. He should let his adult children be adults but he should be a good father by being there when they need him. Adults still need their parents even when they are grown and have kids themselves. You need to examine your own heart for jealousy and control issues and you'll probably find your answer.

As for the sex when you are sick actually sex is very helpful for those headaches because sex releases chemicals that can heal you and relax you. You just have to want to enjoy the experience. You probably have a negative mind set before it even begins and that is keeping you from enjoying it. If sex is unsatisfying then try what I did, masturbate in front of him right after he is finished. Work on a huge orgasm right in front of him. He may just get hard all over again. Tell him in loving ways what you would like for him to do to you. During sex do not be afraid to change the position yourself, tell him you want it harder or deeper or longer or tell him don't stop when you're close. Men like orders during sex cause it tells them how to be better. Take more control in sex and it will change your sex life forever.

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nancybuck8
Rating
Why did you marry him? Sounds like you are a little insecure around his kids.....then again he sounds like a complete @sshole.

It's time you make him listen, give him an ultimatum," you be more respectful of my feelings or you and I are over".....if he say's fine you and I are over than he never loved you to begin with.....You really don't have anything to lose but the misery that you are caring around with you.

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Weiners and Beans
It should not be that way. Even more so when you have only been married one year. TRY to talk to him about it.

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EJ
Rating
U need to communicate with you husband and tell him you need more than just sex u need for him to make love to you .That wrong that he is putting his family before you nobody comes first before you . You need to feel that you matter to him I'm sorry you feel that way but you have to talk to him just u and him alone soon.

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rime_cherry
there are plenty of caring and loving men out there (I hope..) so find yourself someone that will respect YOU and your needs and get out of this marriage..better off alone for some time then with a person that's mistreating you...don't you EVER EVER let a man put you down...I dont know you but I'm sure you can do much better than that!!!! All the best...

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crazybuckeye_1
sounds like most mens' thoughts really. it took my husband a long time to realize a wife is his family now,we were young. he felt for a long time his "family" should come first.i got tired of it filed for divorce and opened his eyes in a lot of ways.we never got a divorce and he sees things fine now.maybe you need to wake your husband up too.

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freetolovefreetobemefreetospeak
i dontknow only you can make the decision if you are going to tell him how ya fell if you dont you will continue to suffer
Nisha

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kitcat
I was married to a man just like that for 7 yrs. All I know is that I felt miserable most of the time. It's a shame you did know or realize this before you marry him. I can't tell you what to do but the final decision lies with you.

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Nikie
Rating
Well I also have a husband who has children from a prior marriage. At the time that I met him they were small/young, so I could kind of understand why he needed to be there for his kids. If your husband is ignoring you for his adult, grown children then you need to let him know how you feel. But if his children are small then you kind of have to understand. They were his kids first before you were his wife. As far as the unsatisfying sex life well, be there have that. I too have a man who is old fashioned and totally self absorbed when it comes to sex. He believes in having complete satisfaction, but only his part. If I don't go along then pretty much its my own loss.He's your husband so if you don't want to deal with it then maybe you should leave. Let him also know about your feelings of non-fulfillment.Let yourself relax and not hold resentment for him about his kids and you maybe able to relax with him in bed. Just a thought for you. Take care and I wish you the best.

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danika1066
Rating
This situation sucks. You are feeling neglected, and he's not doing anything to make things better. Life is too short to live in an unhappy marriage. Either he will see the light, or you might have to leave him.

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hotbutter
Rating
u 2 really need to talk

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chowderboxallnite
Run away. Why the hell are you stil there?

Why did you marry him ?

Doesn't anyone think before they do anything? Did you thnk the sex was going to get better after marriage?

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Autumn
My husband puts his family first also, his mother and brothers. He spends hours at his mothers. I mean like 12 hours a day at his mothers. We hardly ever see him. And when he is here he is asleep. We have grown children who live at home. (24 and 26).
I feel like a single parent. I will probably be leaving soon.

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nanny4hap
Some men are like that, many of them. Have you tried speaking to him in adult manner, tactfully. It seems you need marital counseling. You need to make your needs, feelings known to him in a nice manner, he can't read your mind.

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JAMES M
Rating
I think the both of you need to go get some counseling. Your husband sounds insensitive to your needs and wants and at the same time he's " running his nose up his kids butt" trying to " make up " for something he thinks was his fault or that he did. If the both of you are just " using " the other person in a mechanical way for sex, then yeppers...it's gonna be pretty " ho hum " which to me sounds like what's happening. if you don't like the other person, then it makes it hard. The " Love" part is easy...LIKING....the other person is the real challenge.

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<3
well it is his family but maybe he was picking on who was in the wrong or right

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John B
Well Bonnie.....take a good look at his first marriage. Was the split up his idea or hers. If it was not his then he may have met you on the rebound and ended up marrying you because you helped him through it.

His children are and should be very important to him. However it should never be to the exclusion of you. I am in kind of the same situation only from his end. I lost me first wife to another man. My current wife I did meet on the rebound but I do love her very much. The problem is she is very intimidated by my children and really does not feel she has been accepted by them. Well at least by my daughter.

From what you have said it sounds to me like your husband may not love you as much as he should. Sorry to say that but it doesn't sound good. If he cared for you….you would get a lot more than unsatisfying sex from him. For him to insist that you go to bed no matter what is clearly not considering you at all. If up on occasion he needed it and you allow it then on other occasions he should go way out of his way to make it good for you.

Most women I think that do not get the attention they need put a stop on the sex. What would happen if you did that? If he is not abusive the worse thing that could happen is he would want a divorce. Sorry to say it but you may be better of with that.

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Jennifer
Rating
you need to let him know that you r not going to take that crap from him....you r his wife...his adult kid can take care of themselves.....and sex whenever he wants ..oh hell no ....i would fake a headache every night until he begs me for it ...then i could get it the way I wanted!!!!...sorry to say but men need to be put in there place sometimes....

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Karen L
Rating
Any man who insists on having sex regardless of what his wife is feeling is a jerk. Given that and the fact that you are not satisfied, it's clear that he is viewing you as a convenient receptacle for his bodily fluids and that is it.

If his kids are adults, then there is no reason for him to constantly put them first. (But, do you make an effort to get along with these adults or do they hate you on principle?)

Frankly, he doesn't sound like much of a husband to me, or not the kind of husband I would want to spend my time on. You can either
1. Tell him very clearly just how unhappy you are and why. Then the ball is in his court to change or not. But indicate that the status quo will NOT continue and that remaining married will require a change of attitude and behavior on his part.
2. Just leave.

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nowhere
Depends but your marriage comes first, then family. Have you guys gone to counseling or other?

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jojo
You need to communicate your feelings

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luckoftheirish3090
you need to either tell him how you feel or leave

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sidekick
Rating
wife comes first, as with you the husband comes first, that is the foundation of a lifelong commitment to each other.

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Common Sense
It does not sound like he is treating you like a wife....
Perhaps you should stop being his wife...

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Bondgirl
Rating
I think he's not much of a husband. Why on earth did you marry him? I think you've allowed this to happen. Was the sex any good before? It's time (overdue) to lay down the law, instead of your body - and tell him the way it's going to be. MY WAY - or the highway. Maybe you should be sick & tired more often - and he'll understand it IS and insult. So is putting anything before your wife.

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yes_i_am
Rating
I'm assuming you are much younger than him. So, you are his trophy and he doesn't value you for more than sex. I could be wrong because you didn't state your ages. But anyway, it is way more satisfying to be happy than sad. You should have happiness in your relationship. If he doesn't shape up, ship him out!

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m91342
Rating
I suggest that you get out of that marriage quick!!!! nothing seems to be a benefit for yourself. Plus the sex is not good??? then why bother with all the stress???? Get out before too many years pass by.....

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cheese food product
he sounds like a jerk. leave.

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Gail S
Rating
Girl, you will never get a man to put you before his children. I don't care if they are adults. Now that unsatisfying sex, you chose that man as your husband. You didn't test the ride before you rode off with it? Sound like you jump in the wrong frying pan.

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rm081957
Rating
I dont know why you married him ,he is a jerk.

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rchl782
Sounds like he is all ME ME ME and not YOU YOU YOU

A husband should treat his wife with respect and he should cherish her, and all that she does.

If she is feeling sick, nurse her back to health. If she is tired, let her rest. Be there for her, support her, love her, treat her like your queen.

It's really sad, but most men these days don't really seem to know what it is to have a wife. To take vows and honor them. In Sickness, Happiness, health, life, and death you are supposed to love one another.

As for the sex, teach him how to satisfy you-be more aggressive. My husband was doing a terrible job at everything sex, until I told him where to touch me, how to touch me, and not to grab and paw at me.

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