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ajj_32
if I hyphenate my last name can I give my kids my husbands last name only?
Or should we all have the same last name to represent that we are a family? Would it be weird having a slightly different last name to my kids?



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2008-06-10 05:12:03 +0000
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having one name in the family is good ;)

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2008-06-10 05:11:35 +0000
I don't think that it would be weird..I know several people whose mom's have slightly different names then them and it is normal to them. Also, one of my friends have a hyphenated name from when her mom remarried and she loves it.

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2008-06-10 05:11:07 +0000
do what you want
think about the Jolie-Pitt children. It is whatever you sign on their papers

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2008-06-10 05:23:13 +0000
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To be easier for your kids at school, they should have the same name as you. But you can give them any name you want.

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2008-06-10 05:12:14 +0000
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Take his name, keeps it simple.

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2008-06-10 05:18:52 +0000
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of course you can! i come from a multiple last name family - my mum hyphenated when she married, i took dads name only cos i am a girl and to hyphenate a hyphenation is insane. one of my brothers took dads only cos thats whats on his birth cert and my other bro changed his surname to mums hyphenated one when he was old enough to do this on his own. not sure of his reasoning, but his choice was never a problem for the family.

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2008-06-10 05:11:41 +0000
You should have no problem with it. My friend did that and named her child with her husband's last name and there are any issues. When I get married I will hyphenate my last name and my husband's last name because I have made my career with my maiden name and I don't want confuse others when my last name changes.

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2008-06-10 05:11:08 +0000
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yes u can:)

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2008-06-10 05:10:18 +0000
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you should have the same last name as your kids

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2008-06-10 05:10:56 +0000
Yes. Don't do it.

Tell your husband to be a man and not put up with your hyphenated name garbage any longer.

If you aren't going to take his name whats the point of dropping $20k on the wedding!

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2008-06-10 05:14:56 +0000
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When I got married, I continued to carry my maiden name for 5 years into the marriage. We had 2 daughters during the five years and they were given my husband's last name. When we would introduce ourself to people as a family, I felt out of place. I think the only reason why I continued to carry my maiden name was out of fear of losing "MY" identity. I come to realize when I chose to get married, I wasn't giving up my identity, I was simply giving up my last name to the man I fell in love with.

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2008-06-10 05:13:45 +0000
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yes....you can keep your "maiden" name and still give your children their father's name...no big whooop

I think hyphenated names only work if they're both short. If they're super long and hard to pronounce, then it's just lame. And unless your maiden name is Rockefeller and you are marrying a Trump, then I don't really see the need for hyphenated names. To me, it screams "middle class pretension".

A practical route could be to go by your maiden name for professional purposes, but legally take your husband's last name if you want it, which is easier done if you don't drop your maiden name legally, but take it as a "middle" name. When I got married, I legally dropped my old middle name that I always hated and never used, took my maiden name as my middle name, and took my then-husband's name as my legal last name. It was just on paper only and was on my license and passport. But professionally, I went by my maiden name because my family is pretty prominent in my industry and I wanted that familiarity, plus I had already established myself in the field for over a decade before I married. . In fact, now that I'm getting divorced, the only person who is batting an eyelash at the fact that I'm dropping my ex's name alltogether and will legally just have my first name and maiden name (no middle name) is my ex. He thought I would keep his name for some reason...uh, no. We were only married two years and had no children, but if we did, I probably wouldn't change it because I want my children to have the same legal last name as me...but the father of my children will never be that jerk, thank GOD.

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2008-06-10 05:16:57 +0000
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You should give the same name as you and your husband. Because your child will be identified by the name that represents your family.

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2008-06-10 05:10:29 +0000
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I'm pretty sure you can give the kids any name you want.
It's gonna get pretty silly in a few generations if you keep adding hyphenated names.

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2008-06-10 05:11:42 +0000
you can give them his name only. i think it would be weird though like you said. however if your name is jane doe-smith and his name is john smith then it would not be weird having the kids named baby smith. :)

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2008-06-10 05:14:14 +0000
I have known families where kids have dads last name, and wife hyphenates. It is up to you. As long as you have the last name in one form or another, it will work.

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2008-06-10 05:18:11 +0000
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It wouldnt be weird because the last name that they have is also Incorporated into your name so at the end of the day you all have the same name. You just have an extension of the same name. I am going to tell you my mother and father has been together for 27 years and arent married we always lived with them both together. Never did we say why mama has different last name it never mattered she was who she was and he was who he was. we loved them a great deal and our family a great deal so by you being married that union is even that much stronger I think your kids know only t deal. So by what they know if thats all they know they will embrace it. Unless they are taught other wise.

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2008-06-13 16:54:43 +0000
At my mom's workplace, some women hyphenated their names, including their husbands. I think that's so honorable of their husbands to do. Here's a thought. If you want unity, maybe your husband could hyphenate along with you. And then your kids would get the same name. Or why can't your kids have just your last name?

What I don't understand are the majority of women who blindly give their husband's name to the kids. It's like, their name is not important. I don't think women's names are any less important than men's. Women are the ones who suffer the most, by carrying the baby for 9+ months and painfully giving birth. Yet, they hand the baby over to the father for him to brand his name. I'm hoping one day this outdated patriarchal tradition (that signifies ownership and demotes women) will fade away.

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2008-06-10 05:11:44 +0000
My parents are divorced and me and my sister have my Dad's last name. My mom went back to her maiden name...different...She married step-dad. Had child and gave it step-dads last name. Hyphenated hers. Step dad committed suicide in November....Changed her maiden name back and is changing little sis'..


so don't hyphneate your name...Make it the same as your kids...BE A FAMILY...i wish i could

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2008-06-10 05:18:57 +0000
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Name your kids whatever you want, why not give one your name and the other your husbands name? Everything works.

The only reason you should change your last name is if that holds special meaning for you, otherwise I cannot see the point? It's been your name for your whole life, why do you need to give it up to prove your love or make you more of a family? The sooner that old tradition dies out the better.

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2008-06-10 05:16:51 +0000
then use only his last name.

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2008-06-10 05:12:32 +0000
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it makes things a little bit easier having the same last name as your kids in terms of paper work/doctors/school but since his last name will be included into yours it shouldnt be a problem. its your name girl you do what you want with it!

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2008-06-10 05:10:41 +0000
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Yes, you can give your kids your husbands last name while having your hyphenated.
No it's not weird to have different last names.
Taking your husband's name is merely a tradition wich you are not required to follow.
I think feels like ownership so I never changed my last name.

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