Those who have been cheated on...how did you move on?

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2010-09-02 18:08:30 +0000	Well, my fellow Chicagoski, I'm proud of you, kicking the bastard in the balls... stick to your decisions, plan out your immediate future, and be strong. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

2010-09-02 18:13:01 +0000	Wow! I would put him in a body bag! Ugh! But anger will do nothing but eat you to the core. You need to surround yourself with friends and family and have lots of "_______ is a lowlife sonofabitch" parties so that you can put into perspective and know that it was HIS triflin *** disgusting vile raunchy loser mentality that caused him to cheat on you right before you got married and had nothing to do with you. THANK GOD you found out about this now! Look at it that way. What if you found out about it a month after you got married? Things happen for a reason, hun. Life goes on. More fish in the sea. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

2010-09-02 18:06:47 +0000	She isn't the problem, he is! This isn't the first time he has done this to you and it wont be the last! He approached HER, she didn't pick him! She probably thought he was a nice guy! Put the blame where it belongs, and that's with him! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

2010-09-02 18:05:45 +0000	I'm so sorry for your pain but realize it was a blessing in disguise. Wouldn't you rather realize that you truly didn't know WHO he is before the marriage? My ex husband cheated, there were 3 kids involved and I was devastated. I moved on by recognizing he is not the person I thought he was. Although I thought I knew him, I realize I really married a stranger if he could do that to his family. I wish you luck. Someday you will move past the pain, find a man who is worthy of your trust. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

2010-09-02 18:10:30 +0000	You have every right to be crushed. You can no longer trust him and keep walking without him. How to move on... you just have to put one foot in front of the other and move towards a happier life. Of course it is not easy. You've been betrayed and it takes time to heal. Submerge yourself in self help books and keep a hand written journal... in addition to getting the words out, you'll get the emotions out. No matter what he says to the contrary... he won't change. Thankfully he showed his true colors before you combined your assets in a legally binding way. Behave your way through this... cry when you need do, be angry when you need to, and do lots of deep breathing... it really does center you. I'm sorry you have to deal with this, you just keep reminding yourself that you deserve a loving, honest, partner to build a future with. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

2010-09-02 18:30:05 +0000	Sad to say that initially things will be brutal because you were thinking forever as any person who is going to be married should and this guy never even made it out of the starting gate. It is going to hurt really really bad for a while. I am only about 3 weeks into my divorce(over cheating) and I still haven't had a good nights rest or eaten 3 square in a day. But I'm able to go some hours of the day without thinking about it or her and that is progress for me. My friends come over and play XBox with me and I've gotten back into the gym. Its all that i can do for myself. That and just wait until it stops hurting. Just keep doing things that keep the clock running and you'll get through this. PS You aren't wrong for hating the *****. I hate the man so much that I'd......... But I didn't and thats why I'm here to write this. :) And soon I'll be glad that he took that whore off my hands freeing me to get a winner. Good luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

2010-09-02 18:07:23 +0000	You just have to realize that you really truly dodged a bullet. I know it hurts, but the flaws are all on his side and just think, you could have married this man and who knows what world of hurt that would have opened up for you in time. At least you could cut ties relatively easily. You know his true colors now, and you have the rest of your life ahead of you. Give yourself time to heal, concentrate on YOUR happiness, hanging with family and friends, doing all the things you can to stay busy and alive inside. Don't dwell on what could have been because it was a dream and not a reality after all. I'm sorry for what happened to you, but the day you truly accept it was his loss and not yours is when your heart is on the mend. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

2010-09-02 18:06:49 +0000	You move on by breaking up with him and telling him to get the hell out or you move out yourself. Just let him go, he's a LOSER. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

2010-09-02 18:07:59 +0000	First, I want to tell you you did the right thing calling it off. There's no magical antidote to what you're feeling. I think for the time being it's OK to feel a bit sorry for yourself. Cry to whoever will listen - your mom, your friends, a sibling. Vent. That helps. Of course you're crushed. And I am sorry to tell you, there is only one thing that will help you: time. It's such a cliche, but it's true. Each day, keep living your life, going to work, talking to friends. Each day it will hurt one iota less. A year from now, you will feel very differently. Just hang in there, don't take him back and don't accept an apology. He revealed himself for what he really was - as lousy as it is to read, I'm afraid he did you a favor. But I am truly sorry for your heartache. Feel better in time - that's all there is to it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

2010-09-02 18:09:22 +0000	Ok urrm well i know its probably different for you but im only 14 but i was with a guy and he really was the love of my life and still is i guess but im pregnant and its his baby and he's been there the whole time and he's been great but he's older than me so sex was quite important to him and well me being pregnant and all quite heavily i really didnt wanna have sex so i told him no so he went a slept with some whore. Now i undersand it would of been hard for him to go 9 months with out sex BUT it crushed me it really did. Now i know now he still loves me and it was a mistake and stuff but when i stopped talking to him and seeing him i litrally felt so crushed and hurt and tbh i dont think you do get over it you live with it and learn he was a stupid guy and dont go back to him. I did well cos im 14 and pregnant and my dad kicked me out but come on you deserve some respect you took him back once and he throws it back in your face! Forget him and remember theres someone out there that will treat you better. Good luck (: Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

2010-09-02 18:24:42 +0000	I'm sorry you have to go through this. What a scum bag! My advice to you is to not do anything rash right now. You are in a lot of pain, anger, confusion, hurt...and that's what you should be feeling right now. You have to give yourself time to grieve the end of this relationship so that you can heal from it. When you start feeling a little bit better, start making a list of all of the things you want to do/become. Use this time to grow and become the person that you want to become. Sometimes when we are in a relationship, we don't have the time or energy to do what we really want to do. And by taking the steps to be this person, you will no longer be focusing on him, but on yourself. He doesn't deserve anymore of your time or thoughts. Soon enough you'll start feeling happy again and you'll be empowered by taking the steps to enrich your life. And when the time is right, Mr. Right will show up, rightfully impressed by how much you've involved yourself in, and then you'll be thanking your lucky stars that your ex was such a scum bag because you could have married him... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

2010-09-02 18:08:29 +0000	i can't seem to move on, i am in church praying, i had counseling, but i am a suffering woman, married 25 yrs i found out last year he had a long affair overseas, private contractor. im glad you found about your fiancee, whores are everywhere. all i can say is maybe with time things will feel happy again. i cant smile anymore, i go through life like a dead person. he had the fun and i do the suffering now he is coming home to see our son for vacation i dont want him here Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

2010-09-02 18:04:39 +0000	Time to start your life over again...without him. good thing you didn't marry him. Get your own place or kick him out Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

2010-09-02 18:10:42 +0000	your not even married yet!! shhesh, poor guy. Good thing you don't know what happens at bachleor parties. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

2010-09-02 18:29:55 +0000	I have been going through some stages in my own life and I will try to explain some of them. After I found out about my ex husband cheating, I was in a stage of initial shock at first. I felt completely lost, disoriented and totally crushed after learning about his cheating or having an affair as we call it these days. The first thing that came to mind, is OMG why me? what did I do? did i do something wrong? Your mind begins to fill with horrible thoughts related to the event, most of them being a mixture of pain, anxiety, jealousy, frustration and so forth. I want you to realize that you were not the issue here and you most likely were not the problem for him to cheat. He cheated because he had a desire to and it's not your fault by any means. I am now in the stage of slowly starting to accept the new course in my life now. I am healing slowly and constantly reminding myself now, that I was not the one who cheated nor was I the one who made him. I can tell you that your relationship with your spouse will never be the same again, but this does not mean that it will be worse either. However, the one thing you must accept before you move on into a new relationship is to forgive, forget and get over cheating, lying and betrayal or otherwise you will be stuck in a world with no love. I am ready to move forward with my new life and new partner, I love him very much and I have had a very difficult time recently with the pain of being cheated on in my past. Thank God, I have him to stand by me in this difficult time of my healing stage. You can do this.....stay strong and just believe in yourself Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

2010-09-02 18:05:03 +0000	What do u mean by HOW?...leave the past, and move ahead...find a new partner & start dating again... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

2010-09-02 18:04:35 +0000	How is she a whore??? Your anger is in the wrong place, and before you can realize it was 100% him, you won't get past this. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

2010-09-02 18:08:48 +0000	I know that you asked this question before but guess you didn't get what you were looking for. It's pretty simple. If you want to marry a man that is like this then you are opening yourself up for a long marriage of hurt and future divorce. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

2010-09-02 18:13:32 +0000	Wow, what a blow. I am so sorry. Yeah, it hurts. It hurts badly. But, you know what? You just dodged a bullet and now you have a new lease on life. Like people who almost lost their life due to a car crash -- they deal with the pain and eventually heal to go onto finding a new car. One that works better. Try not to direct your anger at the "whore" because he probably left out the fact that he was getting married. He was a willing participant and he used her, too. My niece was engaged and relocated to another state to search for a new home that she and her fiance would live in after their wedding. Within three weeks of her finding a home and buying it, she found out he had a fling while she was setting up their house. She was devastated and like you, heartbroken. Soon enough she came to the conclusion that this was a great break for her and now she can move on. She packed every single thing that reminded her of him and sent it to him. Everything, every gift, every little thing they had together went packing. She got rid of his existence. Soon after she got a better job, began to lose weight, changed careers, went to college and now she is on top of the world. So, you see, things will work out for you, too. Yes, it was trashy for him to behave in this manner. However, be glad, really glad, you found out now and not after bearing his child(ren). You are free to go now. EDIT: Never forget this one fact, he is a liar and a cheat. You only "know" what he told you -- perhaps he knew her way longer than five days......... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

2010-09-02 18:14:17 +0000	Thank god you did not get married. He is not in love with you enough....do not get married to him please ! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

2010-09-02 18:07:51 +0000	girl u did the right thing cause guys like that is quick to give u an std u need to 4 get him cause he damn sure wasn't worrying about u when he was cheating Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No