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Dana ?
My husband doesn't show me love nor does he give me attention..?
We just got married but I feel like a single women.He rather go out with his single friends than spend time with me..I dont mind if he does, but he shows me no love, no respect, not attention.I feel so unworthy..is there something wrong with me?? He loves taking pics with other woman at the club but he doesnt like to take pics with me..He spends more time with his friends than he does with me..what should I do? I feel so miserable..im in my early 20's but i feel 50...help..Divorce is not an option for now..we just got married

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I am kind of in the same situation , but my husband spends all his free time in the back yard with his friends working on trucks and then on the phone at night while i tend to our 2 year old daughter and my 12 year old son (from frist marriage in which I was widowed) but if you start making plans with out him like with your friends and don't depend on him to be there and try not to complain ( which I know is hard ) he might see how you feel. I have been married to my current husband for 2 years and i hate to be alone and hate to wait on him to come in, so i make plans and he get jelous

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It seems to me like he wasn't ready to get married. Many men get married because they are pressured or feel pressured from someone. I too am in my early twenties and I got married right out of high school. My hisband and I were not ready for marriage and there were problems before the wedding. If men are not ready to get married more than likey they won't tell you that. The behavior he is showing seems to me like he did not get to live out the party lif as long as he wanted to. If he would rather hang out with his friends and spend no time with you there is something wrong. Men are always going to need men time with friends, but time with you should outweigh the time with friends.

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Diva In New York
Divorce may be an option if he is out with woman taking pics and living a single life while married. He sounds like a player. If your wealthy, it may be why he married you.

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Communication is the key. Honey I don't want to get in your case but why did you marry him ? I know you going to say "love" but was he acting this way when he was single? if so you should of waited a little longer before getting into this mess. I don't understand why are you putting up with his attitude.Taking pics of other females? something is wrong with him and he eventually probably is going to cheat on you too. Get a back bone sit down with him and talk about it . is But if he continues acting up , sadly to tell you but most likely you'll going to end up either cheated on or divorce. Think about you. You still young and have a life ahead of you!
take care
Good luck!

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You need to talk to him, draw lines that are and are not acceptable to you and inspect your expectations. If he does not respond to your needs do not be home when he comes home. For whatever reasons he is choosing to take you for granted and be insensitive to your needs....do not be his door mat....go find things that interest you and allow him the opportunity to wonder what is happening. A marriage takes time to work through some of the issues and you guys are young but no body deserves to be treated disrespectfully and it sounds like he needs to grow up. Good Luck!

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Well this is bad. If this only hapen after married than is really bad... I understand how you feel... guess get him to sit down and talk it out or next option is move out..

I know divorce is not an oiption now but you will need to face the fact. Things happen. No point crying over spill milk. Start new life cos you are still young and life is short. Be happy always

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How can divorce not be an option. You wouldn't have children with this man would you? Where is the future?

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i just got married,and i had problems with him already ,and i understand you,i just want you to give time to things and see if it s worth staying or leaving,u just got married wait at least 6 month married to him then decide.and talk to him conversation is good

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Mr. US of A, Baby!
The only thing that appears wrong with you is that you don't seem to think much about talking to him about these issues. Pull him up fast and tell him what your expectations are. i.e., First and foremost, you require an understanding of mutual respect, that you want to be appreciated, and for him to spend some quality time with you on a regular basis....That's not too much to expect. If it is, just married or not, it's time to re-evaluate & hire an attorney......Five kids later, will be unfair to everyone involved.

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Kyle of Romany
Talk to him... but if he treats it like a four-letter word divorce him for someone better lookin. Hell, Your twenty? Don't waste another moment for him... he takes pictures with strange women. If I did that my wife would pummel me into the ground! If he is clubbing you need to wise up to this and I am sorry he is probably clunking some clubber chickee. You are way too young to be treated like this, what's he expect you to do, wash dishes, be barefoot, and pregnant while he goes out on conquests suitable for conan the barbarian! This is the 21st century darlin... When he comes home pitch a fit tell him you thought he was dead and why doesn't he ever come home and be with you or at least take you with him. If he doesn't respond with a care in the world, don't give him any booty, if he is ok with this then he is either gay or having an affair... If so then go and can him! There are plenty of lonely good looking and not so good looking (but even nicer) men out there more than willing to take you where ever they are. Life is short and your youth is shorter, you deserve better.

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My question is, did he just start this behavior, or was he like this before you got married. If he was, or if there were warning signs that he would be like this, then you might have made the mistake of thinking that marriage would change him. But the truth is that nine times out of ten, the way some one treats you before marriage is the way they will treat you after.

If this behavior started after you were married, it a sign of worse things to come unless you get to the bottom of why he is neglecting you this way. In a non threatening manner, let him know how neglected you feel. Ask if you can both work on ways to spend more time together. Let him know that you understand that he needs time alone with his friends but that it is good for your marriage to have time alone with each other. Ask him for his ideas on how to improve your relationship.

I am not sure what he is doing by taking pictures with other women at the club, but you should be his number one priority when it comes to giving of his time and attention to a woman.

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Connie D
You need to start looking in the mirror and tell yourself, "I deserve better than this. I am not his door mat." Then get out.
Just because you are married, does not mean you have to take this garbage. There are so many good guys out there, WHY SETTLE?

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Keepin It Real
There is only one thing I can think of and that's turn the tables on him. I would go out every night for 2 to 3 weeks and make sure you come home after he does and always try to come home of get dropped off in a different vehicle every night. NO, I'm not saying cheat, I'm saying there is nothing wrong with showing him the you have a "Life" and he's missing out on a HELL of a lot. I would not spend any money on him. Do something that is free like throwing his clothes out on the street, changing the locks, flat some tiires, etc.

Talk about new friends, people he won't know by name. Trust me, it will kill him and he will stay home and show you a little attention. Everytime he tries that, I would just beat him with his own game. REMEMBER STAY TRUE TO THE GAME IF YOU ARE GOING TO PLAY THE GAME, BEAT AT HIS OWN GAME, NEVER LET THE GAME BEAT YOU!!!

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He's taking your relationship with him for-granted, you should do things on your own as well "what's good for the goose is good for the gander."

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obviously there is something wrong in the marriage. you got married to fast and you need to realize that it wasnt your time yet. your husbannd most likey still wants to be single and have you around for selfish reasons. Ask him why he doesnt treat you with respect and then as a woman you have every right to come first. you're more than what he is giving you. leave him.

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It sounds like he is still living a single life style
He needs to stay home more and work on his marriage
You may want to talk to him about going to couple's counselling
Talk to him and tell him how you feel.
If he loves you and wants the marriage then he will work at it otherwise why waste your time?
Life's too short.
You desire someone who loves you.
It wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen if you had to leave him.
Perhaps if he thought you would leave he would smarten up!

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Why cant you get a divorce? Why should you allow yourself to be treated that way. He doesnt deserve your efforts. He isnt giving any. If my hubby was out at a club taking pictures with other chicks, I woud be gone before last call....

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Tell him to grow up. You are married now. Things that didn't matter when you were engaged or dating matters 10x more in a marriage.

But don't be mean or rude, just state your opinion.

basically, confront him.

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Grand pa
Just getting married no reason you cant divorce Why did you marry him????

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just got married a month ago or a 2 yrs ago, seems like he still feels like hes single, time for a sit down be married or be single.

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Pipe L
Tell him that to treat you better or you may have to go for a all expense weekend paid vacation with PIPE L at the hilton.

Im sure he will get the point

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April B
Ask him if he's up for marriage counseling.

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Did you marry some one who needs a green card,

IF so , be careful


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~~eddie m~~~
leave him! plenty of men would love and respect you. obviously married the wrong man!

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Sharon W
First of all.... He is married ...What is he doing in the club? That needs to stop.

Second, it is only a matter of time before those 'single' friends encourage him to act 'single' again. They will think it is funny to watch him cheat on you. Seriously. I have seen it happen dozens of times.

Third, you are going to have to hold him to his committment to you. He is married, he needs to start acting like it. You need to let him know that you are not happy with the situation and ask him to change.

The problem with this situation is that when you married this guy you probably knew he was hanging out in the club quite a bit....and maybe you were too. Then, when you both get married, all of a sudden that aspect is expected to change over night. It doesn't. Not on it's own at least........you have to make it change.

Picture this situation....you at home with three kids.....him out getting drunk with his buddies and having two or three 'club girls' on the side. The situation will only get worse as he gets older. Either fix the situation now or be prepared to live a life of isolation while he finds his pleasures elsewhere.....outside your home. That is how it works.

You need to put your foot down and get your house in order. Every woman has to do this at one time or another. Welcome to marriage...it ain't easy....but can be great if you both work on it.

Don't use the soft voice......don't ask him .....don't beat around the bush. Be Direct, Assertive, and Uncompromising. He is married, no more 'clubbing' or going out with single friends unless you and he are together. How come your stuck at home while he goes and has fun?
Grow a backbone and learn to stand your ground.
Your marriage depends on it.

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divorce is an option, better before you end up with a house and kids and then that will be your reason.

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Even if divorce is not a option, you should still get divorced!!!!
If you guys justt got married and he;s treating you that way what makes you think he'll ever change after years and years of living with you. im sorry you got married to the wrong person. Or maybe if you mention divorce he might straighten up and realise what he did to you.
but hes going to clubs with his single friends and and goes out with them and takes pictures with girls?!
how do you know hes not cheating on you if he doesnt even want to take pictures with you..
and also think. you said you're in your early 20's cut him off now while your stil young and you can still go find someone else. you are worth so much more than being his house slave from what it seems.
im 21 and im married also. i told my husband what you wrote..and he said "WTFFF good game divorce him"
honestly, i see no future in that guy. sorry to say. but you should go ahead divorce him.. you;ll thank youself when you end up with someone in the future thats so much loving and caring for you.
and y is divorce not an option? are you pregnant? or do you have a child? (IF you do) there are so many single moms out there and theres so much govermental help for them. theres nothing holding you back but yourself. you are just i believe too much in love with him that you are dependant. even when it comes down to the point that you admit he doesnt show you any love or even respect. & attention.
please take the advice everyone give you on yahoo answers!
good luck!! <3

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Something's bad wrong here if you just got married. Why did he marry you? This is not what marriage is about. Don't put a time limit on marriage either. If this continues then get out. Doesn't matter how long ago. This isn't a marriage.

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Vampire Kitty
tell him how you feel. and if he doesnt do anything about it then he's not worth the pain......honestly.

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Just because you just got married does not mean that you can't get divorced.

I left my first husband after nine months and I should of left sooner...actually I should never had married him!

Hindsight: 20/20

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well mrs. Dana, i'm not married, nor have i ever been... but i will voice my opinion, hoping it will help. you stated that you don't mind if he does, yet your complaining about it. seems as if your not being yourself. maybe you are afraid of the outcome of you speaking your mind. i'm not sure if you told him how you feel, but if you haven't, you should..... remember there is a civilized way of speaking with eachother.... it doesn't have to be an argument, but understand in any relationship, friendship or more, COMMUNICATION is a NEED, not just a want. and when you do tell him how you feel, try not to make it seem as a demand....let him know how you feel and why......let him know its not a demand, and ask him to work with you on finding a solution on how to establish the situation. let him know that sometimes you would like to go out with him and take pics.. tell him that you both should enjoy time as a couple, no one but you and him, get adapted to that. his friends aren't going anywhere, he'll still be able to chill with them any other time. don't give up so soon, nothing comes easy...... as long as you feel its worth it, keep ya head up. remember things don't correct over night....give it sometime after speaking, and as long as you see some of it gradually progress... smile and love yourself and your marriage. good luck.


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