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 Please Help! Should I leave him?
My husband and I have been married for 3 years this October and have a beautiful 22 month old baby girl. Problem is, I can't stand him anymore! I can't trust him to take care of the baby ( ...


 Can a man have an emotional affair for more than 6 months and not want it to be sexual as well?
My hubby has had affairs several times and most of them lasted for over 9 months but he said that he never had sex with them. Should I believe him?...


 i want to take my wife out someplace nice for our 25th what do you think McDonalds or Burger King?
...


 Ok you nasty people, let me rephrase my question!?
My husband and I have been planning a family vacation for weeks. It is a 3 hour drive and today, he was called into work. HE HAD A CHOICE, and he did not have to go in. He will be working on the ...


 I seriously do not like the idea of my fiancee going to an R rated movie without my permission. I told her?
that I care about her and do not want her to see movies with graphic violence, male nudity, and lots of foul language. She thinks I am treating her like a child but I told her I can't help it. ...


 How do i stop this B/tch from emailing my husband?
she's always telling him that he's too good for me and he could do so much better , she's also married. I need some ideas on how to do this secretly without her knowing its me....


 my husband now wants me to stop wearing jeans???
he says that he already has enough to worry about when guys see my face but i have a rather curvaceous body and he thinks that jeans accentuates the curves too much so he wants me to switch to only ...


 my fiance has been asked to go to aruba by her ex he is the father of one of her children should i be ok with?
should i be ok with this. she says she might not get another chance to go on a trip like this and that i would never be able to put together a trip like this for the two of us. the other reason she ...


 Ladies, after a really long day, what is the one thing you would want waiting for you at home?
...


 My husband always told me that he does not have an email address. I found out that he does but he will not?
tell me his password, he says he don't remember it. He has lied to me so much in the past and I think something is in his mail that he is hiding. He goes to porn sites and had things emailed ...


 How do I get my sisters husband to like me?
I have a crush on my sister's Husband! ...He is 24 and i'm 19 ...And omg he is so hot. I want to have sex with his so bad! It's driving me crazy.
But i'm scared of what to ...


 I'm 18 and my husband is turning 19 and he only wants to party?
I have been married 2 month I'm and still in hs. My hubby is soon 19 and in college. We live together and we're very much in love but the problem is that he only wants to party with his ...


 My husband did not even tell me happy Valentine's day or did he even get me a card.. married for 12 days?
Does that mean the I messed up when I married him. Does that mean that he don't Love me? please tell me!! I am hurt....


 I've been married for five years, just found out that my husband cheating. should I stay with him?
He cheated for about a year. He said that she means nothing to him, otherwise he would be with her if he cared about her. He says he is very sorry and that I'm the only one he would ever love. H...


 If you died, would you want your spouse to remarry? How soon?
I'd want my wife to be happy so I guess I'd say yes (although their is this jealous part of me that wants to say no), but I think I'd want her to wait at least 5 years.
A...


 how to know if my husband really love me or no ?
...


 Why do biitches do a 180 after they' re married??
...


 I want revenge, mean or not mean enough?
ok, my ex just got married, We have a 4 year old daughter together which he has nothing to do with and tells no one about, and not he did not tell her, even though she was a planned pregnancy, his ...


 The other women is working with me.
My husband had an affair 2 years ago,with my so called good friend of mine.Now she called last week to tell me that she will be working where i am. How should i handle this without hurting her ...


 How do I start Healing after my husband of 16 years cheats?
My husband wanted me ever since we were in high school and I didn't know that; he waited for me all these years I came back to my home town w/three boys. We finally met, dated, in a year we were ...



Ladybug
My husband basically said I'm worthless?
When he says I have a bad temper he's talking about arguments we had 2 years ago. He brought up the fact that I circumcised our son which he disagreed with saying that hurt him. He said I got our dog put to sleep as hurtful even though the dog kept hurting biting our baby son....
Additional Details
My husband cried to me the other day saying he's been thinking about divorce for 3 or 4 years. We have a 4 year old son. I'm a stay at home mom. Last night I tried to talk to my husband and I've been worried about him seeing signs in him of Depression. He attacks me verbally saying I'm mentally ill, psycho, have a bad temper, I am bad in the bedroom because according to him I just lay there, he said I don't cook, don't clean, no man would want me with my temper, I'm shy (which I don't think at all!), he said I have no hobbies, he said I come from a sh*t family, that I don't dress sexy, etc.
I'm so hurt because I am so tired! I told my husband to pack his bags and go stay at his parents' house. Then he says to me that he didn't mean any of those things he said about me and that he never wants divorce. What am I supposed to believe? What should I do? I feel no motivation to work on a marriage with a man who sees me as worthless and not special. so hurt!



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pepperachu
Rating
Pray for your marrage and seek higher counsel
the best thing you can do is become a servent and serve him like you where serving the Lord. then you will be blameless and he will have no argument. work hard and stay diligent at it and seek no reward or merit or recognition. you will see what you selfless and loving service will do and God will bless you for it you both will be

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Bob Plumb
Giving him oral once a week would probably take care of everything.

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Quixotic
Rating
Hm. Maybe you should've tried re-homing the dog before you killed it ... just an idea. As for the other stuff, you two need a time out from each other. Take a few weeks apart and figure out what you want.

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Cracker Jack
Rating
He basically said he didn't mean it, so it shouldn't even be an issue anymore.

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CoCoNut)
divorce or u will regret all ur life, u have 1 real life, after death it's another life, but nt the same i guess, soo make ur life good, find or soul partner!!!, ur young, u can do it, just dress normal, casual/sporty,. fnd clothes a litle bit sexy,but nt too sexy...., have a natural make-up that matches with ur face) and every1 has a hobby!!!< goo find them),goodluck)^^

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Kim R
Rating
I was married for two years when my husband starting showing signs of depression, yet I stayed and had a son with him a year later. He started with the verbal abuse (which is also emotional abuse) very soon after my son was born. Only took about another year before it got physical. Took me several emergency room visits and 911 calls and arrests before my son and I had to run in the middle of the night to a battered women's shelter because my husband was threatening to kill me. Now I'm not saying it always leads to his, by any means. I am just saying abuse in ANY form is unacceptable, by either party. Look for the signs. If it feels wrong, it is wrong. PERIOD. Don't ever stay just for the kids like I did, if you have any. Do what you need to do to make yourself happy. No one should have to live like that. If people are thinking about divorce, it's bad. Trust me, with depression, it only gets worse and you will always be to blame because you were there when it was happening to him and you will be wrapped up in his memories of it; therefore, you will always be to blame.

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Cole
are you happy?
Thats the first question, you always have to take care of yourself 1st!

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Girls!Rock!Woot!
Well first of all try to remeber that you must be strong. If you have noticed signs of depression try to calm him down. and dont forget whatever you do you must think aboutyour son also

remeber that this i the guy you married and you should stick by whatever happens

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Adam L
Rating
It sounds like he is giving you good advice to correct your problems you should listen to him

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caramel wafer
i was with a man like that,,took me years to realise he was talking BS and years to get my confidence back,so i basically wasted 9 yrs of my life,,,get out now and dont go back,you can make it on your own with your kid,,good luck,you will find someone who appreciates you for who you are

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J K (Semper Fi) Beer is good!!!
I just want to know one thing? Why in the h*ll are you still with this guy? I'd believe the former before the latter, he has no respect for you, so get rid of him and find someone who Truly cares for you instead, even as a stay at home mom, you have ways to support yourself and the kids.

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clueless
I don't think you should think about divorce right now but I do think you should consider separating. While your apart maybe he will get help. Also, when you get a legal separation you can get a psych analysis ordered for him before you decide on a divorce especially if you have children.

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alaska grown.
Rating
I feel like there's some one sidedness to your question, or complaint rather. Men usually have a reason behind the words and I'm left here wondering whether you want a real answer or you're just trying to get an audience to agree with you that your husband's a d-bag. All I am going to say is make an effort... dress up once in a while, surprise him w/ a romantic night, etc. Not only will it rekindle the spark between you and your husband but it'll make you feel better too! Guys want to be treated special just like women do, and I'm sure if you do something considerate and nice for him he'll likely return the favor. (If not, you have another problem on your hands)

Now, if you are really trying to keep your marriage happy and he isn't responding or taking your progress into consideration then perhaps you two should seek marriage counseling or temporary separation. Please don't jump straight to the divorce card. At least try.

P.S. You shouldn't have killed the dog or made that sort of decision about your son without discussing it with your husband or taking his beliefs into consideration. That was wrong of you and he has the right to be pissed off about it because that alone shows total disrespect towards him and quite frankly was a b*tchy thing for you to do. EVERY relationship is about compromise and working together.


-edit-
Alaska Bristol? Ha, very funny. Uh excuse me, MY boyfriend is still interested in me and appreciates me. Your husband thinks your worthless. Maybe you should take my suggestions to heart and make an effort to better yourself and your marriage instead of getting defensive. For someone asking for advice you certainly are trying to pin ALL the blame on your husband instead of taking responsibility for your part. Grow the **** up.

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Ei Nimea
Is it true that you are mentally ill, psycho, a bad temper, bad in bed, don't cook. don't clean etc just like your husband said? If so, try to change that. If this is not true, then I think your husband is wierd and doesn't know what he wants. For this you should defend yourself. Don't let him step on your head. i think he is being unreasonable. tell him that you are hurt. push him to make up his mind, divorce or no divorce. push him to tell him what he wants rather than telling you what you failed to do as a wife.

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Tyrun
Rating
If the names that he is calling you are not true, then tell him to stay away until he gets his attitude right. Your first point of focus is the safety of yourself and your son. I didn't quite get the bit about the dog, so the dog can retire back into his kennel.
As for the man! Calling you names is only showing how insecure he is, which means he needs help. That's if he really wants it. Now if you are what he says you are then you need to do something about it. You two are the only ones who really know the full story, but a third person, counselor will help you both focus on your son and not yourselves. Get rid of the dog, if it is biting anyone. Circumcision is a spiritual and physical encounter that hurts but apparently is necessary part of some people groups for cleansing.

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squishy7
Rating
I don't blame you but your husband does sound like he's having some depression issues. You two both need to sit down and calmly discuss what happened. The words he said can't be taken back but he may not really have meant them. Sometimes people say things they don't mean when they are angry just to get the other person to give up and leave them alone. So a talk is definately in order. Maybe you need to work on your temper and he needs to work on having a little more respect for you? There's always work in a marriage it's hard hard work and anyone who thinks otherwise is foolish. There is give and take in a marriage and it's sometimes necessary to sit and point out what needs to be worked on and recognition of your personal problems. So just take some time, do some self searching then sit with him and have a talk. Good luck

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Zeera
My, my, stuck in a bit of a complaining jag, isn't he?
I guess it wouldn't help to spit out that you also have bad taste in men (erp! Did I say that out loud?)! Just making a tasteless joke, of course don't fuel his fire, don't argue back.
Take yourself to family counseling (temporary, just for a while), and invite him to go in effort to save the marriage & learn how to communicate without alienating you (and you he). If he doesn't go, YOU GO anyway, alone is okay.
Very best wishes.

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кяιѕтιηα
Well I understand you must be tired! My mom was a stay at home mom too and she was always tired and husbands never appreciate all the hard work women do. They think they have so much free time to have fun and do whatever but taking care of a kid, cleaning and cooking is ALOT of hard work and he needs to understand that. And on top of that you try to make him happy at the end of the day. You do all of that for him and your son and he calls that "worthless"? I'm surprised that your not the one that wants to divorce him because you seem like your way too good for him anyways. But to tell you the truth I really think you guys should try to work things out. You have a four year old son that needs both of his parents and divorce is always hurtful to kids and they end up being traumatized for life. For his sake, I suggest you guys go into marriage counseling or something or do whatever you have to do to keep your family together. I don't think he meant any of that stuff he said either. He was probably just venting because he had a hard day at work or something like that. But for the most part you definitely seem like the victim here. You guys just need to communicate better and he needs to understand that family comes first and everything else later, especially pets because if my dog was hurting my little baby I would put him to sleep too so your not to blame in that part either because you did do the right thing. If you let it go on, and your son got seriously hurt, some child abuse charges could have also been brought up to you and your husband. You never know. Things always go wrong. But you did the right thing putting the dog to sleep because your son comes first no matter what! If he really insists on having a pet though, try getting a little friendly puppy that won't hurt your son. But just try to work things out and don't let him get to you. I'm sure he loves you. Good luck with everything and I wish you the best :)

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Trina
Rating
Well, you just answered your own question by commenting "he's not worth my time and energy". At this point, counseling seems to be the last hope for your situation, and you may even want to consider living apart while in counseling. You said you have a 4 year old and do you really want him to see how unhappy both of you are? Children mimic what they learn and I'm sure you don't want him to be in unhappy.
YOU are the only one that can make your situation a good one. Don't depend on his words.

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Ponderpink
Awh sweetie I'm so sorry....

First of all, one thing I know for sure is;
Men respond to absence.

...so pack up and leave for awhile with your kid...tell him you need some time to think things over, don't be hateful, just let him see your raw human emotion of being hurt...let him see you cry...don't talk it over, just leave.

While you are gone don't text or call. He will go crazy knowing a) he hurt you b) you're not there to clean up, have sex with etc and c) he won't know what you are up to and that will drive him crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Give it a few days, make sure he knows you want some space. I promise he will be texting and calling saying sorry he didn't mean what he said...don't respond other than a few hours later to say that you need to process it all and you will get back to him in a few days.

It's true that humans want what they can't have. He will value you more when you aren't always there. When he sees he might lose he will stand up and fight for you.

PROMISE.

Be strong girl! Good luck! xoxo

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Honesty Rules2♥♥it&#39;s on
Rating
My husband calls me worthless pretty much daily.

Either get a thicker skin, take a lover on the side, or divorce him.

I really hope that YOU personally didn't circumcise your son... OUCH

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Sillysillerson
If you want to work on the marriage work on it but he has to be willing too. Get couseling.
If not, get a job, go back to school or do something that will put you in the right direction to being more independent, then you have options and can leave if that is what you choose.

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say it all...
Everybody sounds cranky in your house...I recommend a few marital therapy sessions so that both of you can regroup, pull it together and move forward as a couple. I think he has some built up resentment and perhaps you have some issues that need to be worked on as well. It can't hurt to an impartial 3rd party to help sort through it...

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James Oscar
Visit a psycologist, both alone and with him. Then motivate yourself ! After all, a wise judge should pay attention to both sites. you may be hurt but he still may be partially right. think about it and mediatte if you should keep yourself up for him as well. I am not defending him but I have seen similar situations and seen that both had a point to make. think about it, get up and solve it together!

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dani girl
Rating
im sorry for the pain you are feeling :-(. two things run thu my mind. some people say the most hurtful things they can when they are angry trying to "hurt" the other partner. aka the guy im with. he doesnt mean most of them. at our down times we sometimes wonder what it would be like to be with another person. im sure that you would say that you have even thought about being with another man at one time or another. we are not "ourselves" at these times, its like this demented part of us that feels that way under normal circumstances. but then again sometimes at our very lowest we say what we really feel inside. at the very least you both NEED to see a marriage councellor. seriously. you have issues you both need to work out. a councellor can see if he really meant what he said. you may not see the need to work on your relationship for yourselves but please do it for your little one. if your husband is in depression he needs to be evaluated. you really cant reason correctly with a person in depression. i know u must be in pain right now from everything thats going on but keep to the hope that you can get thru this and see a brand new day. also you might want to find a local church for you to get some positive friends and find peace.

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goo_head_83
Rating
You need to get help. Your husband may need it too, but it sounds like he won't go. You need to go talk to someone who will make you realize how strong you are and how strong you need to be for your son. You should not be taking this kind of abuse and neither should your son. If you continue to stay with this man, your son will think that treating you and other women with disrespect is okay. So get some help and find your two feet because you are going to need them when you walk away.

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autumnbrookblue
People mean what they say when they are mad. The I didn't mean it was the regret he may have over moving back in with mommy. Hurtful words do not go away and if you think your worthless and that no other man will have you then stay.

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sheloves_dablues
Rating
Believe that something is wrong. IF he's not willing to leave until he figures out his crap, then you must.

He needs to know that you will not tolerate being spoken to like that and you will not continue to live with him until he can control his behaviour.

Then, get some counselling.

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♥ Soxxy ♥
Rating
I think now that he has seen the reality of being 'put out' he has remorse for saying those words - but not because he is truly sorry.

I know there are two sides to every story and in a marriage so much goes on.
It is entirely up to you how you handle this because only you know how he is and the whole situation.
I wish the best for you and your son.

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Visualize Whirled Peas
Therapy needed

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Andrea
He already apologized for saying those things when he was upset, so you should let it go. Definitely do not use words he said when he was angry as grounds for a divorce. Give it time, possibly get some counseling, and try to make it work. It doesn't sound like he is all to blame in the situation and I think you should still try to make it work.

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