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Is it OK to read your husbands text messages?
My husband and I got in a huge fight last night, and I still cannot sleep. I thought I would come on-line adn do some question and answers and saw his cell phone right in front of me... I know I did a bad thing but I read one of his texts and it was to a woman appoligizing for an inapproiate text he sent the night before. (the night of our fight) Do I question him?

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I don't like the Idea of reading the cellphone of your partner not unless it is a shared one or he had a consent. I rather still respect the privacy of each other even though you were couples. (but it is only my personal point of view.)

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If you question him, he'll get mad that you invaded his privacy. Who knows? His text could be something totally opposite of what you think it is. I would just keep my eye on him for a while and make sure he's not doing anything sneaky.

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Pammy Cakes
Nope, because then that means you don't trust him. If you have concerns about who he is talking to then you need to be strait forward with him.

Since you already read his texts then you gave him a reason to question you with the TRUST thing. I would just tell him how you feel. Your his wife and it's not like at the time you were sitting there thinking oh i wonder what CHIC is talking to my husband today. Just be honest and tell him how you feel.

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Lil' Sexy
Ur husband-Ur cell 2.Read on girl.

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Sure, tho it doesnt mean you'll get to the truth. Nor do I believe you read only one. That's merely the one that stopped you in your tracks.

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Sean Giborty
no....he said something to that girl witout thinking and was in a bad mood cuz he realized it after he sent it and when u were arguing he didnt want to tell u cuz he didnt want it to see like he was havin an affair cuz he isnt...and now he appoloized to her and will soon appologize to u

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some ppl have a big problem with reading other ppls text mssgs, but it shouldn't apply to spouses. would he come out and tell you about this "inappropriate text mssg" to another woman? probably not. why? because its the kind of subject that would start a fight!!! besides if he has nothing to hide, then he shouldn't mind...

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No, you don't question him. If you want to fight, ask. Sometimes it is best to keep our mouths shut, and our eyes open.

Okay lets look at what happened. It's all here to figure out without asking him. You two had a fight. (a big one) In a moment of weakness and anger, he texted a woman something sexual (You have a fine a**) OR something angry that no one needs to hear (My wife is such a c**t, I hate her right now). Later after some time, thought, and cool down he realized the text he made was a mistake and texted back saying he was sorry for texting an inappropriate message. That is what happened, nothing more, nothing less.

What is there to ask about? Seems pretty self-explanatory. Is this worth starting another fight over? Really? Or are you just still worked up about the other fight and are looking for another reason for it to continue. Sometimes in marriage you just have to suck it up.

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hun i dont know what to say..i read my hubbys texts and ask about numbers on his phone i dont reconzie

he only gets mad and says dont you trust me? and i tell him i trust him but not other women

just wait. and see if he deletes it. then ask

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Minor Bunny Engine
By questioning him, he will surely think you were snooping around his cellfone and things and he would think that you do not trust him anymore... An incident and text message like that, though, would make me also want to question him. Do not bring it up spontaneously... that would startle him. Instead, hint around it and if he is in a good mood, then ask him. If he gets defensive, something must be up. Good luck and hopefully it is all just a misunderstanding!

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do you pay his cellphone bill?

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Yes but come clean on why you did what you did.

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Yes, you snooped. Perhaps it was justified for the greater good. Time will tell, now won't it? Actually, he's a jerk and this would be a good time to remind him of what he has, and what he stands to lose. Men need a little jolt upside the head every now and then. I will share this little secret with you: He is lucky to have you and it would be to his great detriment to lose you. In the interest of giving him a break this one time, set him straight this one time. Your future joy and special moments depend on it.

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if you are be careful what you say it can make things worse
dont attack him

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rachel m
i would ask him about it ,fighting or not if he sent a not so good message just after that fight you had , i would wonder what was going on before hand for him to feel comfortable sending her inappropriate message in the first place, and apparently he wanted you to find out or he would not have left his phone just laying around for you to mess with anyway

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Yes question him! And I would continue reading his SMSs forever!

If he's got nothing to hide then he has no right to get angry at you (and if he DOES get angry at you, listen to your instincts - they'll probably tell you something fishy is going on).

Whether it agrees with a cushy world view that "everyone's lovely" or not, men CHEAT. They do. So do women, but all surveys conducted show that men are the greater cheaters. So make sure you remember that and be on your guard.

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I would. In a court of law, if he is texting other women he can be held accountable. Just make sure you confront him about it and the two of you get some counseling. If he is texting other women, you should see that as a red flag. Good luck.

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No! if he has nothing to hide!....

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first if u read his text you must not trust him fully. second you should confront him otherwise it will stay on ur mind. just be prepared for him to be mad. i mean what would u say if he went through ur phone?

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Yep, it sure is ok. Married people in healthy relationships don't hide things from each other. There is no privacy either. When I was married my husband could look at anything he wanted to, and I could do the same. Why would it be any other way? You are supposed to be partners, involved in each other's lives. There should not be any secrets between the two of you. If I had found that kind of message, I would have immediately been questioning him about it. Privacy schmivacy! He should be able to explain himself and the text message.

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Yes, u have every right to clarify your doubts but you also may have to be prepared for him to question you on why you invaded his privacy... anyway, whatever you had done may have hinted that you dun trust him...But I totally understand your insecurities...

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*never give up*
well i wouldnt care if my husband ever read mine, i dont have anything to hide

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Your husband is a jerk. Question him? If he is accusing you of being nosy, reassure him that his infidelity is not the way to a pleasant marriage. All relationships should not have hidden anything in it as far as the opposite sex.

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Yes, it is ok to read his messages, if you think it would be ok for him to read yours. I am an open book. As Dr. Phil says, "those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing" My husband can search anything he wants, because I have nothing to hide. I would not confront him right now though. Do some investigating and find out if there is something going on. If you confront him now, you might not ever know for sure. If he finds out that you snooped, quote Dr. Phil. Say, you can search anything of mine, I don't have anything to hide, I just needed some reasurance. Why is your husband texting another woman? I would be suspicious, but like I said, keep your cool so you can find out for sure. Good Luck!!

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hell yeah you question him about it.
have no shame. you're married.. he should learn to delete them if he doesn't want them read.

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You have every right to look at his texts, if he has nothing to hide than he shouldn't be mad about it

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He's your husband, you have every right to question him.

As far as reading his text... do you think he's cheating on you, or wanting to? If so, don't feel guilty for reading the text.

Good luck honey. I'll be thinking about ya (I've been in your shoes).

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lol i do the same thing to my husband.

actually..i went online to his yahoo a while back and saw that he was having conversations with a girl that he shouldnt have been. and yes..i questioned him about it and he tried to make me feel bad about it.

just make sure that you get the answers you want and know its not your fault. dont let him make you feel like you invaded his space. if you have to have that little faith to begin with then obviously something isn't right! Good luck!

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Of course you do, and don't you let anyone tell you different. You're married, and he is married. That means he has no business talking or calling or texting another woman.
Something told you to wonder. So you did, and found out you were right to wonder.
That's smart, not nosy. People aren't saints, and noone is perfect. To expect that noone should ever, ever snoop and trust blindly is just foolish. There are boundaries of course, and if anyone lives that way, suspicious all the time with no trust then that's totally not healthy.

If he is cheating and bringing home some disease to you, reading his text is nothing compared to that. Or even the pain he's caused you by whatever this business is with another woman. Sometimes a girl's (or a guy) gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
You should NOT be worrying about whether or not you did something wrong, and DON'T let him turn it around on you.

If I were you I'd sit him down, where you totally have his attention and ask a simple question or two. Don't be confrontational or angry, take the high road.
Do NOT show any shame or guilt in reading his text or he will grab onto that. Just state it. Be brief.

Don't go on and on about what he did wrong and he hurt you. Tell him what you know and wait. Wait. Let him answer and hem and haw to explain.
It might not be that bad, but remember, you probably have only seen the tip of the iceburg.

Sorry to say, but when men get caught doing things they shouldn't, the first time you catch them is just that.
Not the first time they did these things, but the first time they got caught.
You have to ask yourself what's going on here, and what signs have I been missing, and do I trust him.

Good luck to you and I hope things work out for the best for you both.

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