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 My best friend's husband is currently having an affair with me. Should i tell her?
he never love her anyway
Additional Details
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Krissie
I'm shocked by what happened at a Bachelor party my husband went to, am I over reacting?
My husband went to a bachelor party a year ago. At the time I didnt have a problem with it. I was aware that there were going to be strippers there, but I thought 'Oh well its just a bit of harmless fun'. However I now have discovered the true extent of what happened that night with the strippers. It wasnt just a simple act of taking their clothes off, they used toys and acted out various sex acts etc. I am horrified by what took place, and feel disgusted. My husband seems to think Im over reacting to this, but I truely feel sickened by their acts, and betrayed by my husband for watching this and never telling me what went on. Is this kind of thing the norm at these events, and am I being unreasonable?
Additional Details
-Apparantly anything goes in Queensland Australia. And I found out because my neighbours have broken up over something similar, and he confessed that he had seen the same thing a year ago at the party he went to



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Sxoxo
Rating
no you are not being unreasonable but yes, this happens all the time at bachlor and parties and worse. I am an ex entertainer so I know. These strippers usually double as hookers and take turns with the men in the bedroom.It sucks but its what happens, I have seen way too may of them unfortunately.Sorry

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cameraspaz2
It sounds like these women were not strippers. Strippers just dance and strip, they don't perform porn. The fact that this happened a year ago leaves not alot you can do about it now, but I suggest that in the future you do the best you can to get details before hand. You can contact the strippers yourself and most are willing to allow you to know the details of their acts ahead of time.
It won't make much sense to get angry about it now, but I would let your husband know what it is about it that bothers you and ask that he not involve himself in another such event. Good Luck.

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Dawn S
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it may be normal for some but i have never heard about bachelors parties my husband has never bee to one and i trust him not to cheat him to be honest with you about that night. because you seem to really love him to even let him.

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Big Red
I have been to a couple of these parties a few years ago and I agree they go too far. I didn't feel comfortable at the time but didn't have the courage to leave. I thought the second party would be different. It wasn't.

Last year I talked my then to be son in law out of the Bachelor party so he would not have that hanging over his head.

You are not over reacting.

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★SuGar and SpiCe★
yes it is normal for what they do
it is appalling that men think its okay that they watch
no you are not being unreasonable
shame on him

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Melissa
I don't think you are over-reacting, but I would work it out with your husband unless he touched the strippers (who are also usually hookers). Earlier in our marriage, my husband went to a few of these and our agreement was that it's OK to go to a strip-club but it's not OK if it's "in room" entertainment or at someone's house or if he is otherwise in a position for me to doubt what might have happened. If I had any doubts, then that would be the end. Fortunately, most of his friends are now married and those days seem to be in the past.

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janetrmi
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I don' t blame you for being upset. I would be too. Depending on the type of girls they hire and services they contract for, depends on what type of bachlor party it turns into.

Sounds like these girls were whores. I wouldn't be surprised if they went away for the evening with some of the guys at the party. My brother attended a bachelor party very similar to what you described. I was disgusted when I heard about it.

I think your husband should have told you what went on when he first came home from the party. It is possible he knew you would be upset and that's why he didn't tell you.

My recommendation is to ask him not to attend any more bachelor parties. He knows your feelings, so I would drop the subject.

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♥The Mrs.♥
Unreasonable.

Its been a year, he didn't cheat, you let him go. He cant change what happened. Its pretty pointless to be mad at him, especially since at the time you didn't mind him going. I am not sure if this is normal or not but I am sure if you hire a stripper you get more than you would at the club.

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Tina the cat lover
Yes your being unreasonable that was then, can't get mad now that's what goes on at those kind of Patty's...Get over it ...Pray to God Tell Him your thoughts and dislikes...God Bless....

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Kenz
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No girl that's BAD

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Julius4U
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I hear the same reaction from many wives. It is part of the modern wedding tradition. (OK, not everyone, but many do)

The real issue is your relationship with him. Particularly the sexual relationship. Unless he participated and had sex, he was only entertained. I'd give it up. It's not what you are imagining.

If you can't let it go, I suggest you give him a strip show at home! Get out your black lingerie and CFM pumps. Make him put $20's in YOUR garter belt! Then give him a real lap dance!

OR: Have him take you out to strip club. Either way, you two need to have a big sexy night! The do it again in the morning.

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Bentley
If you feel that strongly about it, tell your husband that you would prefer he leave if he is every anywhere that it gets that out of hand again. But as far as something that happened a years ago.... what are you doing but upsetting yourself... can't turn back time. Let it go.

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David J
Rating
As long as he kept his hands to himself let it stay in the harmless fun category.

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Flower Girl
You know what it was a bachelor party! Did you think they were going to sit around and play parchese all night?

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trojan
I understand your horror. What happens at some Bachelor's Parties( these day's), are totally unnecessary and beyond comprehension (and I've heard a lot of raunchy stories).
What you have to remember is that (unfortunately), it was long ago and BEFORE you were married. At this point, I'd express your displeasure of the whole situation and let it be known that you would hope he will not be part of any of these kinds of parties in the future.
I would hope that you have discussed the future bachelor parties and any strip clubs he may be attending (lap dancing, hooter shooters, etc.). Let it be known how it hurts you and how you really dislike these events and places. Don't forbid it (he'll just stop telling you), but let it be known how it makes you feel about him going. Be honest, upfront and tolerant. You can't forbid him to go but if you make him see how it affects you, then he'll be more understanding.

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Roberto
Well... did the various sex acts were with your hubby, or amongst the strippers? Okay, it might not be the nicest thing, but if your husband didn't participate in the act, it might be over reacting on your part.

Bachelor parties are inmature, but sometimes impredictible. I'm not too fond of them, maybe when I was younger, but I think things can get out of hand.

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The Beast
Rating
sounds like he attended someone else's bachelor party, most likely out of respect for the friend that invited him. it was not his responsibility to arrange, so i wouldn't make too much of a deal out of his attendance. plus, it was a long time ago. i would let it be...chalk it up to part of the wedding of his friend, and get back to your direct relationship with your husband. it's what really matters.

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JG
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Definitely overreacting.

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loving30
i used to work at a 'theme' restaurant that would, on occasion, host private stag nights.

it was absolutely NOT uncommon to see some fairly risque behaviour by the strippers - to the point where i would wonder if it was legal. i certainly wouldn't behave like that at home, let alone in front of a crowd (but each to their own).

but i guess you can buy anything if you're willing to pay the price.

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Pupsgirl
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Sounds gross. I would feel the same way. I never understood why married men go to bachelor's parties anyway. Haven't they had theirs. That is supposed to be the "last time" so to speak. Those parties should be for singles only.

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b n real
Sweet Pea it's the worlds norm for this to happen but it's not right. I honestly think it is and excuse just to see eplicit things happen before marriage. The best thing you can do now is forgive him and move on. You will never be satisfied until you forgive him. I think there is alittle more to this story than what is told. I think your husband shouldn't have participated in these acts but what is done is done. Forgiveness is hard but it will set you free from this baggage. Good luck!

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arborsurgeon
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For what it is worth being at a Bachelor party is no fun. I mean what do you expect the poor guy to say "Hey fellahs I love my wife and this kind of thing will make her hurt so I need to go home and tell her"... Nope, it was ill thought and worse pretty crude yet bachelor parties generally are geared for SINGLE guys. I have a lovely wife and went to my youngest brothers Bachelor party a year ago... pretty tame by contrast we sat around and played cards and drank beer. No big deal. But we also respect and love his new wife and would not allow him to start off that marriage with a foot in the gutter. I guess you need to start with communication leet him know how and why you feel like you do and ASK him to please not repeat that kind of behavior because it has affected you so. Personally, I would not trade my Mrs. for all the strippers in Vegas and most of 'em don't look so great stuffing god only knows what inside you know where. Forgive him grow and love. Before you know it this is behind you and life is right again. Good Luck

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~kass~
ABSOLUTELY NOT... it might have been different if he told you that night when he got home that had happened but it is not right for him to do that to you... just tell him how u feel about it and if he does not think that it is that big of a deal then just let it go it was a year ago.

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Dulos
I don't know - I'm old school and I think it's disgusting... what are guys doing when they're watching that stuff... ugh.... But, it is over and there is nothing you can do about it, so try to keep that in perspective.

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vrandolph62
how long have you been married? yes, there's a jealousy factor, but you have to make a decision in your mind...do you trust your husband or not? if you trust him, then put the thought out of your mind, and never think about it again, because, almost 100% guaranteed, you husband didn't touch any of the women that were there. those women are not "wife" material, and those women are not what your husband is attracted to for a lifelong partner to share a life with. think of this: you're the wife. he came home to you, and more than likely, within 48 hours after the party you probably had some really wild and active sex with him. the strippers may have turned him on, i grant you that, but he CAME HOME TO YOU, right? who cares what he was thinking. he's there with you and always will be. just love him, forget what you learned about what the strippers did, and move on with your lives together. just remember, he didn't have sex with them. he didn't touch them. he's yours. take him and enjoy him while you've got him and he's got you. trust me on this one. blessed be.

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lady_phoenix39
bachelor parties are horrible things. As long as he didnt' touch any of them....I would just leave it alone. No sense fighting over it now.

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Meg
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I agree that it is disgusting, and I'd never want my bf to attend anything like that...but...it was a year ago. There are some things worth fighting about, then there are the things that aren't worth it. He can't change the past, and honestly, I'd just leave it alone.

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♥ Katie is head over heels ♥
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no i dont think your really overeaccting, but r4eally thats a normal bachelor party///

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tinkerbell
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I hate to tell you this but this is the norm I am not saying all bachelor parties are like this but most.

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chanshlvn007
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let it go!!!.. it was a year ago. its old news now.

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Derek
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You are most certainly not over-reacting. Just because it's typical batchelor party fare doesn't make it right. He's a married man, and his eyes should be yours alone when it comes to that kind of activity. Don't let anyone minimize it.

It may be the norm, but it became the norm because people just came to accept it. Stand your ground. This comes from a man. Sometimes it shames me to be associated with such behavior simply by virtue of gender. Men justify themselves by saying it's natural as if they had no more self control than an animal.

To the thumbs down crowd... Yeah, yeah. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

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