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 Husband not putting a stop to co-worker's touching?
My husband works where 5/6 employees are women. So there are lots of women. Several of them feel comfortable enough with him to openly pinch or slap him on his butt. One goes as far as squeezing ...

 My husband cannot orgasm during sex anymore. WHY!!!!!??
I am having a problem in the bedroom. We have sex about 3 times a week but for the last 3 weeks, he has not had an orgasm. I have tried every position I can think of, given him oral, used every ...

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im working on... a class project where i need a bone saw and chloroform, working in the basement
and is it easier to dig in wet soil or dry ...

 Why is it that if a man hides porn, they must be "addicted" to it ?
Seems like almost every female on here is SURE any man that looks at porn must be addicted, b/c they HIDE it from their spouse.... WTF ?!?!

I say its an addiction IF they choose to view it ...

 Why does my EF like it when I'm dom, but my wife keeps trying to crush me into submission?
EF=Emotional Friend, fair, blond, 21, can perform the yoga lotus position upside down, completely, 100% platonic.

Dom=Takes charge so the EF doesn't have to do the thinking.


 What would be the hardest loss to accept? Losing your spouse or one/all of your children?
I'm wondering if there would be a difference in the answers of men vs. women on this...
Additional Details
I'm talking mostly about the difficulty recovering, not so much ...

 Married people over 35 -- as far as "relations" go, if it's not the "full act," is it worth bothering for you?
All or nothing for me. I don't have time for teenage games!
Additional Details
I'm saying no stopping at third base. It's a home run or a strikeout. Nothing else....

 I let the one I love go so he could be happy, except now I feel worthless and crap?
He wanted to leave for ages and I don't really know what stopped him because it certainly wasn't me, I did everything I could and it still wasn't good enough and he was more interested ...

 Is my husband gay? I don't understand this behavior.?
I dressed up for my husband last night to do something different and surprise him. I rarely do this because with him I wonder whats the point since he doesnt seem to like indulging in any kind of ...

 Should I stop cheating on my husband?
I like to move the chess pieces when he isn't looking....

 How do you forgive someone?
My father cheated on my mom for ten years before we found out. I am having an extremely hard time considering forgiving him ever. What would you do?...

 Any major goals for today?
whether you are married or divorced,
what major goal do you hope to accomplish today?
(if any)...

 Ladies and Gents....what do you think of this?
It's not difficult to make a woman happy.

A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master<...

 Has your family Christmas ever been ruined?
In whatever way......

We frequently accumulate "laundry mountain" - a large pile of clean laundry that hasn't been put away. When the kids were about 6 and 5 they took a ...

 what is it that you have learnt from y/a since you are on it?
...besides the entertainment factor. I have learnt that SOME men are just plain dumm, so I shouldn't be stressed about my husband that much, and that a lot of people have it a LOT worse....

 Why do you married men....?
Cheat on your wives? Not all of you of course i'm just saying the amount of times this is happening is increasing each year.

Why do you do it? Don't you know it hurts families? Y...

 Helping my fiancee recover from rape?
Well as I posted about before last Sunday morning while I was out to the store two men broke into my house and raped my fiancee (who lives with me) and cut my daughters legs with a balde. We are all ...

 MEN I need your help. Why do men cheat on their wives?
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 My husband's business travel is hurting his family how can I make it easier on all of us?
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 what are my duties>>??
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Nitro Jen 27
How do I get my husband to look at me "that way" again?
I've been trying lots of things lately but nothing seems to be working and I need your help.

Here's the problem: My husband and I are in a pattern where we only have sex one day every other month. A few years back he told me that he wants to have sex once a day and I told him that if he wants to have sex that all he has to do is hit on me or give me a massage or just put some effort (any) into it. So he was making moves but he'd choose the worst times to do it like when I was too tired to do anything but lay there (and he's not interested in "one way" sex where I just lay there and receive) or I just won't be in the mood so his timing each time was terrible.

The last time this happened he told me "what's the point in trying if you're just going to turn me down" but that's not fair, we have two kids and he barely helps out around the house then he expects to give me a massage or kiss my body and have sex?

This has been going on for about 3 years now, back and forth on who should start sex and when the best times are to try to have sex... He says "screw it, it's easier to just masturbate, tell me when you're ready for me..." What nerve...

The bigger problem: Well it wasn't until last year that I noticed that he doesn't touch me any more. He doesn't rub my back like he used to. He doesn't play with my hair like he used to. He doesn't pamper me like he used to. Basically, he doesn't act like he loves me any more.

We talked about it and he said that there's nothing wrong, he's just "not sexually/physically interested any more" and that raising our kids is more important than sex. He also tells me that I'm very attractive (5'3", dark brunette, 110 lbs) and that I "have a great figure for a girl who only wears baggy clothes" but he still looks at porn every day and masturbates and he still looks at all the blond girls on tv so I know he's still sexually active, he's just not interested in me... I know it sounds like he could be cheating on me but the relationship is fine, he just doesn't want to have sex with me.

What do you think I should do? I want him to look at me "that way" again and I don't have any ideas on where to start! I've tried buying him nice things, cooking his favorite dinner, and I've tried just sitting down and talking to him about it but nothing worked...

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uhh go on a vacation

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Michael T
I would say come on to him directly. At least to get things started back up. Get him to help you out around the house. And don't turn him down no matter what the timing. I'm running out of time, my wife is headed off to bed, but, be assertive and communicative.

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Mongo Just Pawn...
HMMMMMM...this doesn't remind me of anything at all...

but I'll give you my two cents anyways.
52 weeks in a year
Drop 12 of them as once a month you will deal with "god's curse/gift to women"
so you're down to 40 weeks
Drop 4-8 weeks for sicknesses of all four of you which distracts from desire( this doesn't count headaches)

you are down to 34 weeks if we average.

Other issues:

Visitors/Company: 3 weeks ( counting kids friends)
Headaches: 4 weeks ( this one really varies)
Fatigue: 10 weeks ( honestly this can be much more or much less)
Injury: 3 weeks
work commitments: 3 weeks
travel time work 4 weeks
vacation with family 3 weeks

down to 4 weeks. So with all the crap a family has going on, there are about 28-30 possible days A year for sex....a year <cries>

As each day goes by, we find more reason to pass by a "Good" night for sex. I am willing to bet that whenever the stars aligned, ( all the above reasons were NOT in play, so sex was THEORETICALLY POSSIBLE) and you STILL were not able to make it happen for whatever reason, he just got more and more frustrated.

For instance, If the kids are sleeping, everyone's healthy, no work commitments, he's home, no one is injured tired or with a headache....hallelujah, it's sex time! That is the way married guys look at it. We are friggin cavemen! we see an opportunity and we jump on it. Yeah, we forget the violins, and roses, and the back rub oil, but we're just so damn excited that all the stars are in alignment we just want to get started! So when this starts falling through on "good" nights and we take advantage of roughly 12 to 15 days per year, we start training ourselves to be ready for disappointment, and after a couple of years of it, actually start just saying the hell with it. and when you ask us we tell you we're not interested.....and go jerk-off elsewhere.

Based on what I read, You have burned his desire out, he's defensively got a mental block in place keeping him from trying to have sex with you as it isn't worth his time.

You better get on winning your husband back. It going to take some work on your part. You better find his hot buttons and push them or you are going to live out a pretty dry rest of your marriage in spinsterish chastity.

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Under the Sea
well at least he didnt leave you because you didnt get back to your pre pregnancy weight 6 months after the baby. My bf left me today so... consider yourself lucky

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Bored Now
So, when you weren't looking at him "that way" and he wanted daily sex, you told him to just hit on you or give you a massage, to put some effort into it.

Then he does that, and you reject him , because his timing is always wrong. You miss backrubs, but he offers them, at your suggestion, and you tell him the timing is wrong and feel he doesn't deserve to rub your back if he doesn't do more housework.

And he gives up. As anyone would.

Seems like the problem is that you have resentments about sharing chores - or other marital issues - that need resolving in order to have a good sex life and a good marriage. Maybe a marriage counselor would be a reasonable place to start. It sounds like you're both resentful but both well-intentioned and both trying.

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Kristen :]
don't wear baggy clothes! go shopping.
then talk to him tell him to help you out around the house or else you will be tired all the time.
then if you want sex (it sounds like you don't) you initiate it! i'm sure you can seduce him if he still finds you attractive. i'm sure he got really sick of being rejected all the time. it hurts the fragile male ego

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Wow, there are some good answers here. Mongo's math really puts into perspective how it can all go down, or downhill when life gets in the way.

I am pretty much at the stage in my relationship that it sounds like your husband has reached. The big difference is that we aren't married, and our sex life dwindling to nothing has kept it that way. It's been at least 3 years since we have had a "decent" sex life. Ironically, we just had a big conversation about it yesterday, and have agreed to try to work on it and figure out how to make that part of our relationship work for both of us. No sure fire answers for you yet, sorry.

My GF is ultra responsible, and very successful at work. She works hard, so she is tired a lot. She also has allergies, gets headaches, has a period like most other women, and enjoys watching TV. She also goes out of her way to make cards, candy bags, etc. for people for different holidays, like the 80 or so bags and personalized name tags that she is currently making for all the employees at her company. Basically, she has a lot to do, and if she has extra time, there is a good chance that she will find something else to fill it with.

Her interest in sex started dropping off a few years ago, and she started turning me down, and then turning me down more and more. Most of the time, there is a legitimate reason why she isn't interested. I realize that sometimes she is going to have work to do, or be sick, or not feel like sex. I am ok with that. What I am not ok with is that she will make time for everything else in life, but not to work on out relatioinship. to make a long story short, I got frustrated. I got tired of being turned down, so I stopped asking for sex. As time went by, I started to really resent the fact that she wasn't interested. It has affected my self confidence, and has certainly taken a toll on our relationship. I haven't slept with anyone other than her since we got together, but there have been a few days here and there durring this whole ordeal where if the opportunity presented itself, I might have done it out of spite. And just because i would like to feel wanted again.

Anyway, if your hubby is in the same state of mind that I am, you are probably going to have to make the first move for a while. Also, if you are dedicated to fixing it, I would highly recommend that you not turn him down unless there is a really, really good reason, at least until you guys get back in the swing of things. You have spent several years training him to realize that you are not interested in sex with him, and if he asks, he is going to get rejected. There is no magic switch that will fix this. If you want to have him look at you "that way" again. you are going to have to decide to make having a MUTUALLY satisfying sex life a priority for YOU, and be willing to work at it. I say mutually satisfying, because it shouldn't be what he wants, or what you want, it should be something that you both can enjoy, and that makes you both happy. Maybe every day isn't good for you, and once a month probably isn't good for him. You need to figure out what will work for both of you.

Also, I would caution you to remember that talk is cheap. If you agree to work on it with him, and then fall back into the same old routine of shooting him down all the time, it is going to hurt him, and you relationship even more. If you want to fix this, you better be committed to it.

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um well it sounds pretty selfish how you expected him to do all the work. no wonder he would rather masterbate. sex is a two way thing.

maybe you should try get him in the mood rather than waiting for him. give him a sexy strip tease or have a sensual shower together

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Finally...someone who has some sense about putting together a sentence using proper English and has included enough information where it makes sense to "us readers/responders."

First off, I am giving you a man's opinion on this.

I understand your situation. A relationship starts out wonderfully and as time goes on, sexual attention between a couple starts to decline and routines come into play....heavily. This is unfortunate and usually it happens without even realizing it. I've had similar conversations with my significant other and we shrug it off and then make love to one another but the discussions are verbatim to those you describe. I've found that confronting one another with this type of problem is not the best course of action. Talking does not help as much as action will.

A man likes to fantasize. Porn is a vehicle for him to do that. In some twisted way you might consider yourself lucky that he is looking at porn on the internet vs. going out to fulfill his fantasy another way. I know that you want him to fantasize about you and while I can't answer that, I fantasize about my significant other outside of our gaps in sexual encounters. That may not be what you want to hear but from a male perspective, many men think this way.

I believe you both are still attracted to each other in the same way you were in the earlier stages of your relationship. Have you considered trying something that is out of the ordinary? Sexually speaking. For instance, initiating sex at a time when you two don't normally have sex? Say...mid afternoon? Or in a location like the laundry room or something like that? Or when you have company over, like a quickie? To me it just sounds like you two need a jump start, something to increase the intensity a little bit. You obviously want to be sexually active with your husband and he is still sexually active with his onesomes.

Other things might be a slight change in your hairstyle? Mani/Pedicure? Or take a trip to your local Victoria's Secret to pick up something new and sexy just for his eyes only? Dress up like a complete slut for him? What about taking him with you to pick something out and not telling him where you two are going?

I'm looking at this like a workout. If you continue to workout in the same fashion, your body will plateau. You need to shock the system every once in a while to make more progress.

I wish you the best of luck and I know that you two are capable of making this happen, it sounds like you both just need the smallest of a "spark."

Good Luck!!!

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