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Avon Lady
Son's father has no driver's license, what to do?
My son's father has no driver's license, due to a string of DUI and drug related offenses that he has never seen fit to clear up.
He and I have joint custody of our soon to be 4 year old son. Dad gets off probation in April (from what he says). He's been on probation for as long as I've known him, for DUI, drug charges and domestic violence (against me, when we broke up). We are currently getting along well and he appears to be doing OK, but I have yet to get the court to insist on showing me a drug-free hair follicle test OR a driver's license. I have retained a $400 per hour attorney to get visitation changed to supervised until he can show me a driver's license and a clean hair follice test. Without a lawyer, the judge's response to my request for hair follicle was "What if he's an addict"? I KNOW HE'S A F-ING ADDICT, that's why I want custody changed but they won't do it. Question is........is it worth it or will they give him his way anyway?



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2008-02-01 06:59:55 +0000
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fight for your child he deserves to be safe with you. if i had a child i would give all of my money and power for his/her safety.

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2008-02-01 06:54:50 +0000
Well then you should tell him you don't want your child in the care of a drug addict.

i'd say the attorney will get you some where that you want to be.

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2008-02-01 06:56:32 +0000
You made your case in my court! But that's not the one that counts....Fire the attorney! He isn't doing crap!

I don't know who to smack first...your ex or your atty.

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2008-02-01 06:53:43 +0000
Fight it! Your child's safety is at risk. You should be able to request this info

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2008-02-01 06:59:45 +0000
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Even with the drivers license he still might drink and drive. I would only have supervised visits. Even after he has been drug and alcohol free for about a year.

Protect your child.

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2008-02-01 08:17:11 +0000
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Find a Women's Advocacy Program. They could probably help you more then the $400.00 per hour attorney.

What's the problem finding out if the guy has a drivers license? I would venture to guess, he probably doesn't. Do you know for certain that he's still "using?" Are you or your well paid lawyer allowed to speak to the father about these matters or are they "confidential.?"

I'm confused as to whether he's in jail and soon to get out or is he back living with you and will be off probation in a short time.

If he has nothing to hide, then you should know if he has a drivers license or if he's still "using." It's pretty obvious to me (could be wrong) that he doesn't have a drivers license.and he's still "using," I would also question his probation.

If you want supervised visitation, that's telling me you don't just him, which I don't blame you for.

My advise to you is to go to Women's Advocacy. You'll get the needed support and they can walk you through the things you need to know about your rights as a mother and how to better product yourself. They should be able to help you with your issues. No offense here, but if you're low income, you can get a Judah Care Card that entitles you to a lawyer, at no cost to you.

Don't wast your time trying to get information that obviously you're not going to get. Go some place you can get better help/care in you situation. There is also child protection.

Good luck, thinking about you

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2008-02-01 06:53:17 +0000
just look at britney spears....keep the fancy lawyer and im sure the judge will try to protect your kid.

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2008-02-01 07:06:28 +0000
The license is not the issue unless he is driving without it, especially with your son in the car. If he is, perhaps you could get the local police to arrive as he is picking his son up--they can ask to see his license, registration, and proof of insurance. If he doesn't have them, they may be able to impound his car, and even if they don't, they won't let him drive away.

But as I said, the real issue is whether he is clean and sober when he has your son with him. If he is okay when he picks him up and drops him off each and every time, there may not be a problem. Few active addicts or alcoholics can control their habits well enough to do that. Also, if his probation officer was on the ball, he was getting urine samples from time to time during the probationary period. I don't think you have a legal right to demand a drug test of any kind.

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2008-02-01 06:54:40 +0000
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Fight for custody now! Don't worry about the DL, that's going to be secondary to any drug-related probationary measures that come up in court. I hate to be rash, but cut your loses, and get your child!

And they WILL do it. If he's failed mandated drug tests, your almost assured that. And if your attorneys are not telling you that, they suck, and you should dump them immediately.

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2008-02-01 06:54:30 +0000
get him a nice bicycle

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2008-02-01 06:58:14 +0000
It is worth it on many levels... as you pointed out there was domestic violence to you. he takes drugs and if the custody is not changed then he might be taking it around your kid. And at his age kids are very impressional... going through child education at that age they want to copy their role models, and want to explore, what if your son finds his stash? The court will not lean his way if there is proof of a past problem and they are still happening. Most judges worry about the child, and if it is shown in court that he is not a good role model you should be able to get what you asked for...

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