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 Are you "hip"? And is asking & answering questions on Y!A a "fad" for you?
An AP on Y!A said:

"Attacking APs is becoming quite a hip fad."

I had NO IDEA I was hip! Wowzers! And I've been outspoken about adoption on Y!A for 3 years, is ...


 How do infertile adopters feel when they think about their adoptee's mother?
Particularly the infertile female adopters, how do they feel knowing that the mother carried their baby in their womb, gave them life, nurtured them, did all those things that inferile adopters can ...


 I want to foster adopt?
I want to adopt a child through foster adoption. I have no idea where to go, or who to ask, What are legitimate (low/no cost) fostadopt agencies. This is very important to me, and I need as much ...


 How do you find a toddler or a baby to adopt??
We are hoping to adopt in the US and are an approved family but need help figuring how to do so. Has anyone had luck advertising on their own?...


 Would I have to adopt my surrogate baby if...?
My sister has offered to be a surrogate for me. We contacted a surrogacy lawyer and surrogate insurance company and got a lot of information. The lawyer said that I would not have to adopt the baby ...


 What's so bad about giving unwanted children up for adoption? vs. abortion especially?
I've always been puzzled by women who would rather get an abortion than keep a baby and give him/her up for adoption. Why would giving a baby away be so hard if you're willing to kill it?<...


 Does adoption override legal guardianship?
My grandparents had legal guardianship of me 2 days after I was born & they adopted me when I was about 15 years old.

I was filling out FAFSA and one of the questions is: Have you ...


 What have you learned from adoptees?
What have adoptees taught you?...


 why do birthmom choose closed adoption?
a birthmom became pregnant and placed her baby at birth with a closed adoption agency.... then about 6 years later she became pregnant again and placed with the same closed adoption agency. why would ...


 How does a single woman go about adopting a child?
Is it near impossible? Is it selfish? Should the child have a father figure to have a decent life?...


 When adopting a biracial child ...?
How do you do their hair? The child is part white and part black and about 9 or 10 months old. She will be placed with use in the next several days so I want to be prepared with everything she needs....


 Is it possible to adopt a toddler or infant in the u.s.a at 45 years old?
...


 ex wants to change our sons last name?
I have a son who is 7 years old and I pay his mother child support weekly. I never see him and have been alienated by his mother. I received a letter from his mother that she wants to change his ...


 How does the foster care system work?
We've all seen things like 'Annie' where the kid from the orphanage gets adopted by the billionare 'Warbucks', but that was in 1933. What's it like for those millions of ...


 Why would someone ask such a controversial question about views on abortion?
Everyone's opinon, situations, and upbringings are different. If you disagree why can't you just leave it alone or maturely state your opinion? is it really necessary to call names and say ...


 how would i go about adopting from a foster home in missouri?
please help with any imformation you may hav. we have a 2 year old perfect daughter, but wed really like to take in another. from a foster home. i have no idea how to get started and all the websites ...


 I want to give my baby up for adoption, dad doesn't what do I do?
I'm 19 years old the father is 21 we're not together, I feel very strongly about giving my child to a home that is good for him. Because I can not give him everything he will need in life ...


 In the military, would like to adopt or gain guardianship of my niece?
I am trying to find out how I can obtain guardianship of my niece for financial reasons. A little about the situation: My younger brother and his girlfriend have a 7 month old daughter who they can ...


 This is a longshot but.....?
Does anyone know of a place in Scotland where young mothers were sent to give their babies up for adoption? I think it was a hospital run by nuns at that time. This place was still open around the ...


 What are some facts about why adoption is good?
...



ff
why are some people so negative about adoption? and try to convince others is a bad thing? some even here?
why are some people so negative about adoption? I don't think most people see with with rose tinted glasses,they know its a long process's ,that children often have troubled backgrounds so what? Do you really think that biological kids come with a instruction book?
i have a biological child who is special needs and i would not choose not to have him,even if i had known.So why are people so hard on others for choosing a different way of becoming parents?
Additional Details
Robin: altough i simpatise to what happened to you ,I have to desagree,there are lots of parents who do not deserve their kids and that as nothing to do with money,abusing your child is a selective act ,so it is to take drugs or drink.Yes i agree that no parent should be coerced to give their children up due to age or financial dificulties ,that is wrong and no good will come from it.
my critic was to some people here who always say that adoption is a bad thing and people who can should choose to have biological children,my comparison with my son was the fact that having a biological child doesn't make it easy or sacrifice free and that having a baby inside does not mean everything to due with that child will be perfect, aas it happens in adoptions
good luck and once more i'm sorry i could only imagine the pain of having to give up your children .
I hope the law changes when it comes to supporting parents in dificulties



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sparkle &lt;3
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most people see adoption as a bad thing due to the fact they were the ones who laid down and made the child and that is their responsibility. but on the other hand there are TONS of parents that cannont have children which is sad but it is such a gift to them. and some people choose adoption for the simple fact they cant afford to support the child which also has to with supporting them mentally. idk i just believe its a women's choice plain and simple.

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sugarbone2006
I wish I new that answer but here is my point of view. It could be the way they were brought of thinking. I know a few mothers including my mother-in-law tells me "why adopt when your body is fine to have babies. It should only be those that cant have babies." I dont see it that way though. Parents should be able to adopt if its what they want. They can bring up happy children no matter if its their own or adopted. These children have the right to live in a happy loving home and raise them as their own.
I already have three children. My husband and I talked about adopting later down the road when our little girl turns about 4.
It also could be fear for some that they see troubled kids and worry that they wont be able to help them the way they need help.
I know my brother-sister in law adopted a child. They are having a lot of problems with him. He was abused and left in the trash can when he was a baby. He has also been bounced from home to home before they adopted him. And now he is a young troubled teen and he is threatening to kill his adoptive parents,sister and himself more because of the trama he has been through. This is coming from my own view.

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Cleopatra
Because adoption has negative outcomes. Whether it be for the natural mother who lost her child or the child who lost his/her natural mother. Whether the child fits in, whether the natural mother copes...

The myth that women surrender their children because they don't want them is what advocates an opinion like yours because it overshadows the negative experiences you don't care to see "in" adoption.

THEN comes a question that uses LAW as a means to justify what is right and not right in adoption. I'm real and don't care to pretend and/or color things shades of pink. We all know in our heart of hearts what's right and not right. To depend on religion or law or "other means of creating families for those who can't create them biologically themselves" distorts the "lived reality" for those it doesn't benefit. To negate these experiences is to be full of one self and feel "chosen."

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blank stare
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Well, I'm an adoptee. I've lived through losing my identity, my history, my family. I've lived with people making assumptions about what being adopted is like. I've lived with the fact that government treats me as a second-class citizen and keeping my documents from me.

So I guess why I'm negative about adoption is that I've actually lived it.

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minimouse68
Wow, has it ever occured to you that the reason we dont like adoption is because we've lived it??
Having a child does not make you qualified to know what it feels like to have been abandoned by your natural family, to have lost who you are, to be denied the right to ever know. Wow, get educated before you ask questions like this. Fact is, if youre not adopted or a relinquishing parent you simply dont have a right to an opinion on this subject.

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ROBIN
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I can only answer for myself. For every story of the joy of becoming an adoptive "parent," there is a story of tragedy in the separation of a mother from her child. If the money and effort put into adoption were put into giving the mother a hand up and a good start with her baby, the costs to the taxpayer would actually go down. Most mothers surrender, not because they don't want their child, but because they are beset with problems and get talked into making a permanent solution to a temporary situation. An unexpected pregnancy does not always equal an unwanted child. For me, and for the two children I was forced to surrender to adoption almost 49 years ago, it has been negative, painful and something that no mother and her children should have to go through.

Surrender for adoption should be a very last resort. Even then, kinship guardianship that would allow a child to grow up in the family of his/her origin would be preferable to stranger adoption. And, I really don't see what having a child with special needs has to do with adoption. Most potential adopters wouldn't want to adopt a child with problems of any kind. They want healthy, the younger the better and attractive if possible. Those are the facts of life, hard as they are.

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feanor75
It's just human nature. A reaction to something we don't understand usually results in some form of judgement. It gives us the sense that we are right and therefore do not need to attempt to understand a difficult situation.

Adoption can seem a very 'unnatural' process. I guess we should look a little deeper and realise that adoption is the solution to what was already a problem, i.e: being orphaned.

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