how do i convince my other half to adopt?

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Mollys_Mommy2009	I'm in the same situation as you. I have always wanted to adopt a baby, but my husband is completely against it (I have no idea why...) The only thing I can think of is showing him the statistics, and just keep trying. Eventually we will wear them down, lol. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Courtney	Maybe you can just tell him that you really want this baby maybe he might just say yes. Just tell him and tell him how happy it will make you . You will never know what might happen Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Destiny44	Your doing the right thing by bringing up this topic now, even though it may be some years before you both decide to adopt. Years ago, when I first wanted to adopt a child, my husband would have no part of it; he wanted to have our own biological child. After some time and when all of our other options had failed miserably, he was then more than willing to consider adopting. We even adopted siblings, two girls, now 9 and 10. It is not uncommon for your partner to just agree with you right now. He's probably just not ready for adoption and it's not a good idea to force the issue, but gently bring up the subject every now and then as you are doing now. Hopefully in time, he'll be just as ready to adopt a child as you are. You just need to wait for the idea to become mutual. You've got lots of time, just think you still have 3 baby's of your own to make. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Marnie B	Get married first. No one is going to let you adopt if you're living with your boyfriend & not married: If you cant commit to each other, how will you be able to commit to a child? And know that when you adopt a child they are "your own." Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cricketlady	You would have to both be in agreement on this issue. Just give this some more time. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cmc	I guess it depends why you want to adopt. There are more couples/singles/families waiting to adopt than there are children, so it isn't as if there are healthy babies going homeless in the US if you don't adopt them. There are older children in foster care that really need homes, but you've mentioned a baby. With international adoption there are a lot of complications, so even if you think they may have a better life with your family, it isn't easy to adopt, and again there are more families waiting than there are children who are available. As for telling your child, I would say it is very important to be open and honest about adoption. There are all kinds of horror stories about adoptees finding out they were adopted by accident - this can be really traumatic. It used to be that people thought keeping it secret was best, but thinking on this has changed drastically and now it is encouraged by nearly everyone involved in adoption to be honest. I think you need to express to your bf why you want to adopt, and understand why he doesn't. It sounds like you have lots of time to decide about this. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Gaia Raain	Every person owns their own information. It would be really detrimental to your adoptee's well being to hide the fact from them that they are not related to you. Most people who lose their children to adoption DO want their children. Get educated about some of the reasons people lose their children before making assumptions, and basing some fictional child's entire future on those erroneous assumptions. You should never try to convince someone to adopt a child, and you should never, ever bring a child into a home where they are not 100% wanted (which would be WHY you should never try to convince someone to adopt). If your boyfriend doesn't want to adopt, that should be the end of that conversation, period, forever. After you've done a little research about adoption (this is a great place to do it, because you'll hear from a very highly educated group of folks who have LIVED adoption for many years), and after you decide to start treating these very helpful people with a little respect, then maybe we can help you a little bit. Until then, what you're most likely going to get is a bunch of education about adoption (from folks who are ALREADY educated about it) that you don't want to hear. Not to worry, there are plenty of rainbows and sunshine adoption websites that don't allow people to discuss the truth of adoption. You can go hang out there and plenty of people will fawn over you, and tell you what a wonderful selfless person you are for trying to convince someone you're not married to, to raise a child he doesn't want. If that's what you're looking for...you're in the wrong place. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kateiskate is getting married	You can't convince someone to adopt if they don't want to. That never ends up well. Your adopted child will need to be loved and cared for by both parents. If one parent is not all the way on board, it will show. Adopting when your partner doesn't want to can also add stress to your relationship and also to the rest of your family. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

JennaBear	i echo what aloha girl said. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jennifer L	Becoming an adoptive parent is not something that you should have to convince someone to do. If both parents are not 100% in for the long haul, you are doing an adoptee a disservice. It sounds like you're still pretty young and you've got a new baby. If you are serious about wanting to adopt down the road, do some research now. It's definitely more complicated than what most people believe. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

parenting is an option II	You find out the reasons why he doesn't want to adopt and then listen to them very carefully. I want to foster kids my husband don't. You want to know why? He doesn't want our kids to get attached to the foster kids and then them return back home. He doesn't want to deal with other people's problems right now. He wants to make sure our kids have every need meant. He doesn't think now is the right time. Should I try to convince him or should I just take what he told me at face value. And know that he has our children's best interest at heart. What happens if he told you he couldn't love an adopted child like his own? Would you still force him to adopt? What happens if he decides to leave you because you had to have an adopted baby? That's a good $20,000 to $50,000 to adopt. God when I got $50,000 cash I paid off my cars and put down a down payment on my house. Maybe he isn't to into separating an infant from it's mother and father to extend his own family. Maybe he has adopted friends that told him how much they hated being adopted or that they always felt like they were second best. Please find out why he doesn't want to adopt. Oh and could it be commitment issues? He is your boyfriend not your husband. Sort this out before you get engaged or married. I got married before I had children. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

aloha.girl59	You don't. Or at least, you shouldn't. Adoption is forever. It's not something that should be done on a whim or something that someone has to be convinced to do. Imagine how your adopted child would feel if his father treated him differently from his 3 biological kids. It's bad enough that adoptees lose their entire families -- they don't need to be disliked or resented by their new families in addition. If you can have babies (and obviously you can), please do so. The only kids who truly NEED homes and loving families are the kids in foster care. Adoption is supposed to be about the child's needs, not the adults'. Have your babies and if you still want to adopt when they're older, look into foster-to-adopt. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Flaming June	How about getting married first... And then looking into Fostering. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

LinnyG	The idea that you should "wear someone down" to get them to adopt is appalling. Adopted children have complex emotional needs, and BOTH parents need to be on board. Parenting an adopted child is not even close to parenting a bio child, and the ap's here will tell you that. Not everyone wants to be an adoptive parent, nor should they be forced to do so. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No