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bud3572000	where are you located? there is a way to handle that call me at 740-546-2032 or email me at bud3572000@yahoo.com. a friend of mine has a house that she helps woman they live with her and if they cant handle the baby after born then she helps them put the baby in a nice home. we are on a waiting list with her to adopt Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Marnie B	Most adoption agencies & attorneys let you choose the couple you want to adopt your baby. Look in the yellow pages under adoption & call a few agencies to find the one you're most comfortable with. They usually have profiles of waiting couples you can choose from, & you can decide what level of openness you want. It would also be a good idea to get counseling. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Amanda	If you go with an open adoption, you get to pick the family your child will go to, as well as have some level of communication with the adoptive family in the future. Open adoptions are personal and you work with the adoptive parents to decide if you want updates, pictures, letters and/or even visits later on. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

bubble_bath951	you got time to decide whether you want to give up your daughter for adoption. if you believe you and/or your family don't have the money to raise her, and give her the life that every baby deserves, maybe adoption would be best for you, your family, and especially your daughter, Rylynn. personally, i put my daughter up for adoption (Finley Elisse) on March 27th, 2010. so, i guess it was fairly recently. the reasons why i put her up for adoption was because me, and my family weren't financially stable. emotionally stable. and i had to go to college in August. i wanted to focus on school, and i wanted to make sure she'll have a life i can't offer right now. so, i put her up for adoption, and i found a wonderful adoptive couple, and they agreed to a completely open adoption. i got to see her 3 times since the birth, and i plan to see her in december when school lets out. the thing is, go to a adoption agency, and they do backround checks on the families, and make sure they're financially and emotionally ready family. in no way they can be a bad familiy. those families don't qualify for babies. so, do what you think is best for your daughter. adoption...or keeping her. if you need to talk more...feel free to e-mail me. bubble_bath951@yahoo.com Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Shar N	i was adopted as a baby and i have a great family! i never resented being adopted. i have four of my own children and my hubby and i are planning on adopting a child. best wishes on your decision! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Megan	When i was 20 I got preg, I put the baby up for adoption, I wanted him to have everything that i have ever had but just couldnt afford to. I found a local attorny that does family services such as adoption and it was the best thing i have ever done. the family is close by and we have made a great relationship even though it was to be a closed adoption the mom and i talk all the time. Adooption for u would be the way to go, you have already thought of it, and think of it this way, to adopt an american child it cost lots and lots of $$ which means the child would be living in the middle to upper class Every family has there ups and downs but I knew that my child would get everything i have had plus tons more. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

danigirl	I placed my daughter for adoption when I was 19. I did it through a church: LDS social services. They were so fantastic. They offered counceling and group therapy with others trying to make the same decision. I was able to meet multiple couples, and spend a lot of time with the couple I ended up choosing. Making the decision to place your child is such a personal one. So many that havent been in this situation make comments as " you made the mistake to get pregnant, so you have to keep the baby and work hard." And if thats what you believe as well, then work REALLY hard and you'll be a fantastic mom. Many don't understand the shoes you are in. But there are other options where your baby will be loved with 2 parents and a full life. My adoption is open and my daughter is 5 years old now. We are all very open to her about how she came to be in this life and how she is so lucky because she has MORE people to love her. She calls me her birth mom, and calls her mom, mom. Of course there will be difficulties with how she sees herself and her role in our lives as she gets older, but doesnt every child? I am so happy that I was able to complete a family that was not able to complete themselves. I love that I placed my daughter for adoption. It was the hardest, most heart wrenching event that will ever take place in your life, but the most unselfish one as well. I am not telling you what to do, just telling you my side of it and how wonderful it can be! Good luck girl! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Theresa	People can be very misinformed when it comes to adoption. Open adoption is very legally enforceable and whoever said that 'most open adoptions are closed within the first year' is also wrong. I want to tell you that you can do this. Remember those girls you went to jr high with... Who got pregnant at 15 and you never saw them again. Well, they did it and so can you!! I'm not sure how far along you are but unless you have had this plan from the get-go, adoption really doesn't sound like the right answer for you. Especially because you have named her. Boone can tell you what is the right choice. I can however tell you that I made the right choice, but it was horrible. You will hate yourself. You will feel empty no matter who your with. You will feel alone and useless. You will also feel a huge amount of love. You will be happy she is safe and loved. You will be grateful for her family. For me... Not a day goes by that I don't know I made the right choice. Not a minute goes by where I don't wish I made the other one. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

gypsywinter	Looks like a contingent of birthmothers from some Happy Dappy Birthmother group have come to spread their version of Over The Rainbow in Adopto-Land. What is it...Birthmom Missions, Birthmom Buds or Birthmom Ministries?? Cuz it sure sounds like it. Why other women who have CHOSEN to give their babies away, would encourage expectant moms to do the same...is plain sick. Or they are shills for adoption agencies. JMO! There's plenty of help out there for you and your baby.... contact these places, you have to inquire, you have to ask. If boyfriend hits the road..he is still responsible for child support and plenty of women have raised children/families as a single mother and done a darn good job of it. In Adopto-land plenty of adoptive mothers have become single mothers, due to divorce and death. Those same adoptive mothers have had to seek outside financial help and services as well. There are no guarantees in adoption, it is not a fairy tale story...where all the stories have happy endings. Adoptive parents are only human, the same as the rest of us, and as humans are susceptible to the same life problems. Adoption only provides a different life, no guarantees for a better life. Keep your baby...believe me you will have a whole lot less to regret later in your life and your baby only needs you, not stranger people. Good Luck, love, peace and harmony...wishing you and your baby all the best in both of your lives. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Kathy	i emailed you cuz i am looking to adopt and am in the process of the home study now. But on the other hand there are soo many resources to help either way you choose whether to keep her and try to raise her yourself or give her up for adoption. There are many mean people on here and they will judge you no matter what you do. Remember this is YOUR choice for you and your baby. And other people are nott he ones living with the choice you make, you and your baby ARE. Adoption is not bad, especially open adoptions and being without a faher isn't either. As long as the care the baby recieves is good, the love they grow up with is strong and the values they are taught are good, their life and your life can be GREAT! Do some research on the internet and write down on a pice of pape, the positives and negatives of each choice. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Flower	I wouldn't if I where you, you love this child have a name for her and all ready have the father in your life. Your situation is allot more optimal then some women whom choose to keep there children and they turn out just fine. Finances are temporary they will change. Once you have your little girl in your arms you wont want to let go. There are plenty of programs that assist underprivileged mothers to help them get on there feet. Yes, I am talking about welfare but welfare will an can help you find a job and they can help you with continuing your education while providing child care for your baby. Keep your baby! Adoption is only for extreme conditions like if the mother an father where in prison, or the child ended up orphaned, or if the child was abused. That's the only reasonable scenario's to relinquish a child. You think your torn apart now you will be more torn apart when you surrender to adoption.Open Adoption are not legally enforceable , meaning that the adoptive parents no matter how nice they are to you , can turn on you once they get your baby and they may move out of the state an you will have no contact with that child ever. That child's records will be changed your name will not be listed as the birth mother on her birth certificate the adoptive mothers will be. Therefor making it more difficult for your daughter to find you when she gets older. And worse you never know the mental capacity of these adoptive parents they could very well tell your daughter that she was never adopted. I am not trying to scare just give you some advice. I reccomend PIP she is a verry reasonable yahoo/anwsers user on here she was coerced into surrendering her son. I would talk to her if I where you only she can give you the best advice possible. Best Of Luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Mel	I think this is such a toucy subject and many people will give you mean comments about this. This will be a very difficult thing to do because you already love the child. You would need to think long term too, do you want your daughter to know that your her real mum and contact her in the future where she might reject you or do you want to not tell her and she may find out herself and come looking for you? Different things may happen and it will cause you heartbreak no matter what. If your scared about your daughter going to a bad family then get to know the family first, pick them out yourself and go to thier home, see what they are like, have dinner with them, become thier friend. I think what is best for the child though is for it to stay with you because you made the mistake in getting pregnant so you should have the strength to work 3 jobs to take care of her. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Amanda	I'm adopted and just found my birth mom on facebook last week. I never felt that I completely fit in with my adoptive family although I love them dearly. My adoptive mom is wonderful and I was spoiled my whole life, I am very lucky, but deep inside their is a part of me that would give up everything I have to be a part of my birth moms life and never be adopted. She regrets putting me up for adoption and we have been talking a lot about everything. She was 16 when she had me and I am thankful that she was willing to go through one of the toughest decisions for me. It will tear you apart but if you think your daughter will be happier with a different family then its the best decision but I know just by you asking this question that you wouldn't be a bad mom, you care enough to ask and consider what is best for her. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Pip	You have answered your own question - you love your baby so that is exactly why you should keep her as it is the most loving thing to do. You can get help help and support to raise your baby nor do you have to be rich. If your boyfriend ditches you then he is equally responsible for raising your child which includes financially helping. Your situation is temporary and adoption is forever. My situation was different as I was bullied and lied into surrendering my son. He has had a good life and his adoptive family but he has issues with adoption. There is a risk that your baby could have a bad upbringing but more likely is she will have issues no matter how good her life is. Just because an adoptee has a good life doesn't stop the possibility of having issues. You may feel adoption is best under the circumstances but she wont necessarily see it like that. In this day and age there is no reason to choose adoption just because you're not well off as there is help out there for you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

LinnyG	Adoption is a crap shoot, hun. There is no guarantee. Adoption never guarantees a child a better life, only a different one. Adoptive parents get divorced, they lose their jobs, they have alcoholism and drug abuse issues, and yes, they even abuse their kids. There are lots of resources for you so that you do not have to give your baby to strangers. Please read as to how adoption will affect you and your child. http://www.cubirthparents.org http://www.exiledmothers.com http://www.amfor.net/acs http://www.origins-usa.org http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm http://www.keepyourbaby.com/ http://www.thegirlswhowentaway.com/ http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php Books: The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier Lost and Found: the Adoption Experience AND Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness both by Betty Jean Lifton The Adopted break Silence by Jean Paton The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler Adoption: Uncharted Waters,by David Kirschner Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self by David Brodzinsky Open adoptions are NOT legally enforceable. They are a tool paps and agencies use to lure women into surrendering their babies. Most "open adoptions" are closed in the first year by the ap's, and there is nothing the first parents can do. Keep your baby. She only wants you, not strangers with things. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

LOV'N LIFE	I think you already know in your heart what you want to do. Maybe write down the pros and cons. You don't mention how old you and if you think you're going to be able to support the child. I don't have any children (I always wanted to), but I would think it would be pretty normal to question if you're prepared. Babies don't come with a school book, but babies have been around for hundreds of years, so somehow Mom's just figure things out instintively. You'll make mistakes but so long as you can laugh at yourself you and your baby will be okay! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Flo	There are so many resources out there for you. And just because you two don't stay together that doesn't mean things won't work out. I considered giving my son up for adoption. It would have been the biggest mistake of my life. Also, the fact that you have named her is a sign you want to keep her. Do what you feel is right. But low income people raise happy and healthy kids all of the time. And being with birth parents is the healthiest for a child. An adoptive family may have more money. But money doesn't buy happiness or love. Check out WIC, Foodshare, Medicaid, and any other government resources. I think you will find there is far more help out there than you think. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ann	Hi, I love your daughter's name - Rylynn Grace ! Children do not need a lot of money or fancy nurseries, they just need love. There are programs like WIC (food & formula/milk until age 5), housing assistance, medical assistance, etc. that can help you. It won't always be easy, but the love you have for your daughter will make it all worthwhile. Whether you and your boyfriend stay together should not make a difference in deciding the fate of your daughter, He will have the responsibility of paying child support which will help also. Many children these days are being raised by single parents, divorced and step parents. Someday you might get married and have more children. Would you honestly want Rylynn not growing up with them and being part of their every day life? With an open adoption you might have a few visitations and pictures, but could you honestly not want to be there to see her take her first steps, to hear her first words, her birthdays, first day of school and all the other milestones we as mother cherish ? I think your love for your daughter says it all. With you she will have a happy mother and that's all she needs. I wish you all the best ! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

dena	First, I want to commend you for thinking not only about your child's future but also your future. The good thing about adoption these days is that the majority of them are open adoptions. It means that you can pick the family. You can meet the family and you can judge for yourself whether or not, they are what you want. When you go to the adoption agency, they will ask you what type of family do you want her to go to. Would you like her to go to a two parent family, a single parent family, a same sex family etc. They ask you do you want a particular religion, or no religion, or it doesn't matter. They will ask you if you want her to be the only child (now, you can't dictate later afterthe adoption). They will ask you if you want her to go to a middle class family in the suburbs or a professional couple in the city. Then the adoption agency will send you matches. They will tell you the type of adoptions availiable (open, limited open, closed etc) and you decide what you want. You can go through them and pick one or reject all of them and ask for more matches. If you pick one and you realize that you don't like the mom or the dad, then you don't have to pick them. The one thing I would caution you about is making a decision based on a first meeting. Adoption is just as scary for the couple as it is for you. I can tell you from personal experience that the desire to adopt and be a parent is a very primal emotion. The need really does go straight down to your bone. So, if the mom, or dads, or mom and dad show up and they seem really nervous, or they make a bad joke, or they just seem a little uptight, it is because you are offering them the one thing they want most in their life and they are scared to death that they will do something wrong. Try to get to know them before you make your decision. You might find that you do like them and bad jokes or not, they will be good parents. Adoption agencies try really hard to make sure that the families they represent are good families. Depending on the agency, the family has to submit budgets, proof of income, several references, proof of a steady job history, and they must pass a criminal background check. They also have to fill out an application process that is dozens of pages long. They have to explain why they want to adopt. They have to explain why they married who they married. What is it that they fight about? How they will explain adoption to the child? What kind of relationship they want with you, if any? Are they open to an open adoption where you can see the child a set number of times a year or a limited open adoption where they might send you pictures once a year or if they want a closed adoption. They have to disclose any past sexual and physical abuse they may have suffered (this is more so for foster care) and if so what have they done to work through it. So, they really try to get it right. From personal experience, the adoptive parents I have met on my adoption journey, have been good, loving people. They really do just want to love a child and bring them in their home. Of course, there are no guarentees in life. It is hypothetically possible to get a family that will one day divorce, or who will abuse her, or who won't love her. But it MORE LIKELY, that she will get a family that will cherish her and who will forever be thankful that you made the decision that you did. So, please go talk to an agency. This will emotionally be a hard process but most birth parents I've met, have told me, that even at the worst, when they had to physically say goodbye to their child, they knew that they were doing the right thing. And remember, just because you give her up for adoption, doesn't mean you won't have her in your life. You can control the type of adoption. Dena Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No