does the baby believe?

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allchildrenareangels	I think the baby wouldn't know the difference. I think it is who holds it and loves it on a regular basis after birth. Dianna Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Elindriel	Babies hear and learn in the womb, from the time their brains develop at about the second and third month. They know and respond more to the voice of their real mother then they do to the voice of any other women, even a professional singer. They also are born knowing what their mothers smeel like, how they sound, and their heartbeat. Yes, it is traumatic to a child to be torn away from their mother at birth, but it is something that becomes a fact of life after the initial first few days. They quickly recover from it and are fine afterwords. They will quickly learn to bond with and love their new mother. As long as a child is held, touched, and loved- they will grow and thrive in their new environment. A child should never be lied to about their real parents anyway if they are adopted, but while they are babies, it really wouldn't matter to them, and they would forget about their birth mother and come to learn that their parents where theirs. And in a sense, they are their real parents. Blood may be thicker then water, but water can run deeper and more freely then blood. The parents may not be the biological parents, but that does not stop them from being the real parents. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

hpfreak080	I don't deny that there would be some degree of trauma to a newborn baby (or anyone for that matter) who was suddenly taken from their mother who they had just spent the last nine months with (more if they were relinquished later). However, babies are highly resilient and adaptable. This does not mean that the trauma necessarily "goes away" but I don't think that EVERY adoptee feels the trauma or is aware of it. Like someone else said, the baby will be to some degree traumatized when placed into a new environment but the child will grow to trust and love the person who takes on the caregiver role (if this person does things to build the trust and love). Basically for me, i was placed with my adoptive parents when I was less than a month old. I, obviously, do not remember my birthmother (i have a closed adoption). My adoptive mother and father ARE my "mom" and "dad" and I have never had a problem incorporating being adopted into my personality. And just to give some details to a previous answer: I have a 3.67 GPA in Engineering school (not low grades), have fine coordination, and have never been aggressive (I'm actually pretty passive and laid back). I guess I'm in denial lol ;-) bottom line: no doubt there is trauma, but I think with newborns, their ability to adapt (combined with the adoptive parents openness and good parenting) helps to either lessen the effects of the trauma or allow the adoptee to live life without feeling like a victim. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cmc	I think the baby does have bonds to the mother at birth, and there is trauma in the separation. However I also think that birth itself can be a trauma for the child, and there are many traumas in life, some avoidable, some not. Here is a definition of trauma... -injury: any physical damage to the body caused by violence or accident or fracture etc. -an emotional wound or shock often having long-lasting effects In my opinion the effects of the trauma will vary by individual, in part based on the adoptive parents and their ability to bond with and nurture the child. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jack Putter	Some people lie to their adopted children to just that end - believing that children might not need to know who they truly are. But in the end, it doesn't matter what you do, the fact is that if you tested the DNA, the child's DNA would not match the adoptive parents'. You cannot convince a person's DNA to conform. No matter what, that child is STILL related to another family, and NOT to the adoptive family. So, no, unless you lie to the child, you cannot expect them to believe something that isn't true. But as an earlier answer said, who an adoptee's "real" family is should be defined solely by that adoptee. No one else has the right to define that for them. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Tonia	"A child knows its mothers heart beat, smell, voice, how can someone say they wouldn't know the difference. A child's mother is the ONLY thing he/she knows at birth, it only makes sense that being born and removed from the only thing you know would be traumatic." I agree with this comment. I also know that our brains are like sponges when we are very young and children are adaptable to many situations in order to survive. If they feel threatened they will go into survival mode. From there, everything has to be proven... trust... love... etc., as a baby because that's what they've learned early on. But, I also believe the baby learns who his/her caregiver is and love grows from that. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

myst1998	No, a baby inherently KNOWS their mother's smell, rhythm of heartbeat, voice, emotions etc BEFORE they are even born. Babies are aware of being placed into a strangers arms RIGHT FROM THE MOMENT OF BIRTH... if you have given birth a few times, you would see this for yourself. Research over the past 70 years has proved the connection pre-birth between mother and child... an adoptive mother can be the most nurturing, loving person around but that doesn't make her a real mother... she is still a stranger to the child as much as the woman across the street or the woman on another continent. Babies and mothers are not interchangeable. We are just not wired that way... and anyone adopted who refuses to accept they actually suffered any trauma by being adopted is missing the point entirely. Just because one is not in touch with that side of them self doesn't make it any less there or real. It also doesn't mean that to be traumatised means there is anything wrong with their adoptive parents or that they can't have a great relationship with their adoptive parents. I have met adoptees who swear black and blue they suffered no trauma yet although they have had no other traumatic event in their life, they have strong symptoms of PTSD. Adoption IS traumatic. Period. No ifs, buts or variables. It isn't about being traumatised, its how one lets the trauma affect their life once they are aware of it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Laurel J	It's my (limited!) understanding that the scientific jury is still out on prenatal bonding. I have noticed that if a woman is going to keep her baby, this in utero bonding is presented to her as a fact, and something she should absolutely practice for the good of her baby-to-be. If she isn't going to keep it, why there's obviously no such thing as a silly prenatal bond. http://www.mc.maricopa.edu/dept/d46/psy/dev/Spring02/prenatal/attachment.html versus http://pactadopt.com/press/articles/wound.html So there is a bond when it is convenient, but not when its disruption is believed to cause harm. If I could figure this stuff out any better, I'd give a more concrete answer. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

smarmy	A child knows its mothers heart beat, smell, voice, how can someone say they wouldn't know the difference. A child's mother is the ONLY thing he/she knows at birth, it only makes sense that being born and removed from the only thing you know would be traumatic. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

number1mum	Babies cant remember when they are born and if they were adoped strait away they definitly would not remember their birth mother..the mother would be the one who takes care of them. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

carrie	I was adopted, I don't remember being a baby obviously, but i felt close to my mother, certainly. I did not really have any adverse feelings till I was older. I think bonding is a long term thing, it does not happen instantly. i think babies are happy as long as someone loves them and feeds them, etc, no matter who it is. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Cambria	I believe babies -learn- that the new person is their mother, but plenty of research shows that they also know that it is not the person they spent nine months listening to and smelling and bonding with. I believe they don't know what is going on, but they do know that what is happening to them isn't what was supposed to be happening to them. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ranchmom1	Some people believe they were traumatized by being separated from mom after birth. I personally have not experienced this. I went from my birthmom to foster care for 5 weeks, then home to my adoptive parents. I'm fine (really ;*). Who one considers ones "real" mother is open to debate and it really is a matter of each person's feelings. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Fuaite le fuil, gaolta go deo	Hilarious! I can't believe some of the denial on this forum! There have been numerous, undeniable studies showing that an infant knows it's mother's smell, voice, heartbeat and can even tell the difference between their biological mother's milk and another woman's milk. Science has shown that the real mother holding her baby reduces the baby's risk of mental illness later in life, increases IQ, and is correlated with improved coordination, exploratory behavior, and a decrease in aggressive tendencies.To deny the truth is ridiculous. Of course, no grown adoptees will remember this but at the moment that a newborn infant is taken from her mother, yes, they are traumatized. Removing a newborn from the only world, only person they've ever known and putting them into someone else's arms is the equivalent of putting you into a foreign country. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No