Why do people get so aggresive when a person says they are doing international adoptions?

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A Good A.Mom	We're adopting American children--we'll have them in our house in under 8 months from when we began....it's not a long process unless you don't stay ontop of CPS. I love adoption.....those who do not....don't even adopt a dog! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

►BobB◄	those that get "aggressive" or "argumentative" when it comes to international adoption are ignorant morons without a clue. If the had a clue they would know how difficult it is to adopt domestically, and if you do adopt, the birth parent can come back at any time and claim they did not know they had a child, or was not party to the adoption and demand that the adopt be over turned. This is one thing that cannot happen with an international adoption. The simple fact is that domestic orphans have a foster family network and this does not happen internationally. We tried for years YEARS to adopt domesically, international was our only option. I will repeat this for people who may have difficulty understanding real life... I am surprised at the arrogance and ignorance of some of the answers here. I especially think that the person that answered “give the kid back and get back on the plane” is particularly profound in the ignorance category. They do not understand that in China, women cannot determine the child’s gender before birth, abortion is illegal, and thanks to the communists, the parents are allowed only one child (there are a very few exceptions), and thanks to Confusious, the male child will carry on the family name. Women carry the child to term, then they make the horrendous decision to keep the child or keep trying for a boy. To keep trying, they must somehow part with the unwanted little girl. They are usually little girls or boys with birth defects. They rid themselves of the unwanted by drowning at birth or abandoning. The birth mother usually respects life enough to abandon the little girl instead of sticking her head in a pail of water. Every attempt is made to find the birth mother by the local police. The little girl is surrendered to the local orphanage and given the best medical care the province has to offer, then the orphanage starts the process to place the girl for adoption. Many orphanages are linked to local business. The children grow up and then go to work in the province owned factory, especially if they suffer from a cleft lip/pallet. Other girls are sent into the city to find work. Chinese girls have no mothers to be returned too. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ted	Some people have an axe to grind. Not everyone is so negative. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jennifer L	Wow! 90% of international adoptions are "unethical"?! I would love to know where some of these statistics come from and look at the supporting data. That said, I completely acknowledge that there are some bad practices out there. Never denied that for a second. IA certainly has risks and pitfalls that the adoptive parents need to be aware of and take care not to contribute to. I do not feel that speaking positively of ethical and legal international adoptions equates to supporting baby buying. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

♥Love Herds♥	Because adoption, no matter who, what, when, where, why or what color is a confusing and frustrating thing. Also, I think a lot of people think: "Adopt the American baby. Save one of our own." I don't agree, a human is a human is a human in need. No man is an island. Is adoption a blessing? yes. Is adoption a curse? yes. Have we figured out how to do it right since humans became "civilized"? Absolutely not. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

hispregnantwife!	when you take a child away from THEIR country their food their sights and smells you are taking away who they are at the deepest level I think if you want ot adopt you or your husband should be part of the culture you adopt from. so the child can grow up knowing who he is. my husband was born and raised in japan and we have considered japanese adoption but we would never consider russian because thats stealing a persons identity because we do not know what it is like to be russian and after raising them neither would the child. People who try to pretend their child is bio theirs and the child is another race is playing a cruel game with a childs mind and identity. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Independ"ant"	Obviously by your post you don't know much about IA adoption. You looking at the narrow minded side of an Pap/Ap. For me...the bottom line is simple...many children being adopted are not orphans and do have parents that love them and want to take care of them. Almost all people adopting don't want to help anyone unless they get a child in return. The demand for young children and babies have driven up the crime and atrocities against women. Kidnappings of children, young girls being used as breeders, and poor illiterate mothers being tricked into the process. I think its inhuman for someone to be adopting from another country, ignore what is truly happening or worse call it here-say and promote others to go and get a child. I could go on with a list but this is the most important thing to stop now, at least in my conscience. Edit: Gaia, I respect your posts. One can only wish if adoption is absolutely necessary, they could have a parent such as yourself. Reality hurts people when it goes against what they want to believe. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jessica300	http://www.crin.org/bcn/details.asp?id=17239&themeID=1003&topicID=1023 "This study was a preliminary attempt to explore the link between international adoption and institutional care for young children. The evidence does not support the notion that international adoption reduces institutional care. On the contrary, survey data suggest that it may contribute to the continuation of institutional care and the resulting harm to children." The full report is here: http://www.crin.org/docs/Relationship%20btw%20Institutional%20Care%20and%20Intl%20Adoption.pdf Also do some reading at UNICEF's site on the "Convention on the Rights of the Child" http://www.unicef.org/crc/index_30160.html Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP	This was part of my answer to an earlier question: I hate international adoption. I hate it because the largest reason they are relinquished (there are also kidnappings and rape to help fill the demand) is because they are too poor. They are basically forced into relinquishing one to feed the others. This could be fixed if, instead of adopting these children, you send the money that you would spend to raise them to the natural parents. However AP's would not get anything from this so I don't see that happening anytime soon. AP's like the idea that its better to have them shipped over here, stripped of their family, culture, identity, and the very core of who they are all because they can't have kids. I mean it is all about them right? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

blank stare	"they have to get accustomed to a new culture and even a new language and new foods depending on their age" Well there's most of your problem right there. Why should the child have to get used to new things? Why don't the people taking the child in make more of an effort to keep the child's culture, language, and food generally consistent? Shouldn't they have to make changes, rather than forcing the child to make changes? As for adoption itself... Adoption comes from loss. The child has suffered a loss. Do you want to lose your parents? Would you want to lose them before you are even old enough to explain to someone else what you've lost? Why do we need to create a legal fiction to care for children that need care? Must we rip them from their heritage (as you clearly think ought to be the case in international adoption)? Why not leave them their heritage and give them the care and love they need? If you have to ask what the big deal is, you have a lot to learn. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

JennaBear	Aggressive? Must people always interpret the opinions of adoptees who have actually EXPERIENCED the loss/confusion/abandonment/etc. etc. etc. as being aggressive? Maybe if people weren't so DEFENSIVE they wouldn't take our (or my) feelings about my experince as being aggressive. Hitler thought he was genuinely doing a good thing for the world by killing Jews/Gypsies/people with disabilities/etc. Terrorits's hearts were in the right place (according to them and their twisted view of their faith) when they flew an airplane into the WTC. So...should we allow holocausts to happen and terrorists to bomb things simply because they're trying to do a 'good thing' from their perspective? I think not... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Gaia Raain	It's interesting that your screen name is "Support Nature's Rights" because if you did that, all the kids would be with their Natural parents. Just pointing that out. Unfortunately, oftentimes kids in international orphanages are NOT without family. Sometimes kids are put in orphanages to ensure that they have food to eat until their natural parents are able to come back for them. Imagine the pain and anguish you'd feel upon learning that your child was sold to international adopters while you were trying to "take care of business" so that you could bring your child home. Also, many kids who are "available" via international adoption are ONLY available because international adoption exists. Cambodia's adoption program was shut down because children were being purchased from their natural parents to be sold overseas. Anyone have that video available? I lost the link. Also, there are baby farms in places like Guatemala where young women are purchased from their families, and taken to a facility where their job is to produce babies for international adoption. I believe I saw a statistic the other day that something like 90% of international adoptions are unethical. While I believe there are absolutely international adoptions that are ethical, and done right, and even a few that might be in the child's best interests, I also think there are too many problems with IA, and that those who look at it with rose colored glasses on are not doing international adoptees any favors. Do your research (and NOT through an adoption agency - remember, they're the ones making the money). Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sunny	People got angry when I jokingly asked if PAPs should have to take spelling/grammar tests in order to adopt. But what does poor grammar/bad spelling say? Doesn't read. Isn't curious. Closed-minded. Unable to communicate in modern society. Not capable to teach or help children with homework properly. I think adopted kids deserve more than this... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Laurel J	You asked for my personal thoughts, so here they are. Many international adoptees literally were stolen. This is why Guatemala has shut down adoptions--babies were being kidnaped, snatched, stolen, and sold so that rich Americans could have what they wanted as quickly as possible without going through all the inconvenient red tape the US insists on. You know, so as to insure that the kid was legally relinquished. How very inconvenient. If you really think we are "all related," please burn your birth certificate. Then forget your name, burn every family photo and find some way to forget every precious memory you have of every time someone told you you look/act like your mother or father. Then burn all your family's medical records. Then break all your mirrors. Then get back to me and tell me how important genetics are not, OK? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Kazi	90% of international adoptions are unethical... wow, that must have come from the big book of I've plucked this statistic out of my *** to prove my thesis. I can make up statistics too. It's actually extremely easy. I agree with Jennifer, that humans being the way they are there will always be unscrupulous people who taint what should be finding loving homes for children that need them. I also believe that the majority of venomous BS and chest thumping over IA comes from people who know only Western comfort. They have NO idea what it would be like to be locked into a bamboo chair for hours on end in the searing heat while you scratch at your skin because the scabies is unbearable or going to bed hungry because the orphanage is not well funded and there is not enough food and the food that is there lacks any nutritional elements or being almost 1 and not be able to sit up or almost 2 and can't lift up your head because of the lack of stimulation as there is 1 caretaker to 10 babies and having no one cradle you when you are scared or lonely because there simply are not enough arms to go around. But I guess some people on here know real pain... I mean they went 3 months without any new episodes of Lost during the writer's strike. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No