What is your personal connection to adoption?

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SJM	I'm an adoptee. I've also been a CASA volunteer. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Heather ~ Not a Perfect Mom ~	I am an adoptive parent to a 14 year old boy. He was our foster child on and off since he was 5. Our adoption was finalized six years ago. He is a distant cousin to by two bio kids so he has regular contact with his bio family. I am also caring for my two nieces ages 5 & 3. They will probably be with us a couple more months and then they will go back to Mommy. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

myst1998	I am a MOTHER to a stolen child and MOTHER to two other gorgeous children who were not stolen from me (so lucky... wedding bands DO make a difference in this day and age). I also have many, many friends somehow involved in adoption and have researched,observed, lived and breathed adoption and all its guff since I lost my beloved daughter. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Linny G	I am adopted. Was in 2 foster homes after I was born, because my n mom started her confinement in a chain- maternity home in one state, then there was "no room at the inn", so they shipped her to another state. 2 states claimed they had dibs on me, so I went to a foster home in Ky, then I had to go to a foster home in Ohio until it was settled. I went to an Ohio family, because I was born in Ohio, although my n mom signed all the paper work in Ky. I was finally placed with my a family at almost 6 months of age, and I have attachment issues because of not bonding with anyone during my formative months. Thanks, Ohio and Kentucky. I have adoptive parents who adore me, as I do them, but unfortunately, times were different then. They were taught to never discuss my adoption, and "if they loved me enough I would never want to search". They did not want to talk about their infertility issues, so that loss was not recognized. My pain was never recognized either, nor was my confusion about adoption. I found my n Mom 22 years ago. She just NOW told my siblings (4) about me. And surprise!!! Her family did not hate her, nor am I going to run away to live with my new old family. I feel complete now, and like a real person, as I know BOTH my families histories and stories. I joined Y A to get other perspectives, and enjoy telling my story. My "goal" is to educate others, whether they are a p's, n family members, or adoptees that all is not perfect in Whoville. Meaning, people MUST learn to acknowledge the pain EVERYONE has in order for their to be peace. I am NOT anti-adoption, just anti-closed adoption, and anti- international adoption. I am against closed records, as they can potentially end someone's life if there are health issues we need to know about. I am an 8 year cancer survivor of an extremely rare type of genetic cancer. I am THE poster child for open records. I have some issues with some of the posters here who do not want to acknowledge other's FEELINGS and experiences. It makes me sad when I see some a p's or pap's or even adoptees who do not want to know every aspect about adoption. Yes, it CAN be a wonderful thing, but attitudes need to change in order for a child to have a "normal" life. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

3 girls and 1 boy for me!	I am a mom in 3 ways...I have 2 teen step children, I have two adopted special needs children, and I have a biological child. I had no idea there was even a down side to adoption before visiting Y!A. I am here to listen, to help if I can, and to educate myself on the best way to parent my children, especially when it comes to dealing with the highs and lows that can come from being adopted. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kateiskate is getting married	I was adopted at three months old from Korea to an entirely white family that lived in a very white community. I have a younger sister who was adopted at birth (domestic) and is in reunion with her first mother. My parents divorced when I was four. My mom remarried a military man and we traveled the world til I was eleven. I don't have kids (I'm only 21) but am afraid to have them because I don't want to pass any of my "crazy" lol on to them. It is really important for me to resolve as much of my issues around adoption as I can so that I can be a mom who is able to be there for her kids mentally and emotionally without relying on my kids to love ME and take care of my needs. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ems N	I have a relative who was given up for adoption a few years before I was born. I would love to meet them, but I don't know anything about them. It feels a bit like a part of my family is missing. I'm also trying to get more information about adoption generally, and learn people's views and such. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Big Daddy R	i am a foster to adopt parent Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

tish_part deux	breeder for the infertile, black elite... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sofiakat	I am an Ap. My husband and I adopted a sibling group of two from foster care almost three years ago. My son was 3 years old and quite troubled when he entered my home. My daughter was 18 months and delayed physically and developmentally by almost a year when she first came into my home. I send packages quarterly to their mother with pictures, drawings from the kids and very detailed letters with updates on the kids (altho she still has not picked them up). Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Obias	Andraya you beat me to it! I was wanting to know what "titles" others had here. Thanks for doing it, it'll give me better understanding to everybody's answers. I'm an adoptee, brought to my a-parents home at the age of 3 months and began using their name, but wasn't legally adopted til age 11. I've recently introduced my birth mother to this forum since she has a Yahoo account. I've already shown some answers/questions to my mom as well. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

...	Adoptive mom sister to someone lost to adoption relinquished by mom at 16 Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jesse	I was adopted when I was two weeks old. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Lady Rowan	i'm an adoptee. I was officially adopted at age 3, but lived with my a family from the time i was 8 months old. It was an in the family adoption, me and my twin brother were adopted by my aunt(bio fathers sister) as my bio moms family were no where to be found. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Lillie	I am your sister's cousin's best friend's roommate's adopted hairdresser. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

小黃	White girl in a white family in a white neighbourhood - Oh, wait. You meant who I actually AM, not who I see every time I look in the mirror. Well... fiddlesticks! @@ I am an Asian girl in a white family in a white neighbourhood. I'm still rechecking in with my Asian counterpart, as she seems to have been dormant for over twenty years and only resurfaced when I made initial contact with Mama and Baba 2 years ago. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

ladybmw1218	I am an adoptive mom. We had a sort of surprise adoption, in that we weren't planning to adopt (we were planning to become foster parents), weren't with an agency, hadn't had a homestudy...heck we didn't have a real home yet because our house was still under construction. We were approached by DS's first parents via mutual friends. We have a fully open extended family type situation. Even though we are in different states, and first mom and first dad are no longer on speaking terms with each other, we have relationships with both of them and their extended families as well. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP	I am a young mother who fits the "profile" to be a "birth mother" (ugh). I was lucky enough to have a supportive mom when the rest of my life was falling apart. I kept my son and I now see "what could've been" I love my son and I am a good mother, regardless of my age. ' I want others to be able to keep their children (barring abuse and neglect), and not be told they are not worthy of raising their own kids, So I am here. I know a lot of people think that I shouldn't be, because I am not directly connected to adoption, but I think that because I DID keep my son, I bring valuable experiences to the table, and I want to educate my self so that I can educate others Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cruzgirlz3	Adopted at birth raising nephew who was adopted, and my niece both who lost mother to cancer and father to addiction. former social worker Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sizesmith	I am a step-mom to my late husband's children, and to "M" now. I am a biological mom to "B", an adoptive mom to "J", and just got approved to do foster-to-adopt. I am sister-in-law to another "J", who was placed for adoption 48 years ago. I am a daughter-in-law to a wonderful woman who placed a child 48 years ago, in a time when that's what a woman did in her case. I am a best friend of a woman who wishes to not be reunited with her child who was placed. I love every one of my children dearly, and I try to be the best mom I can in every way. I used to be totally ignorant about adoption, and thanks to all those here, I am trying to educate myself more about the processes. Although I don't agree with a lot of the posters here, I try to respect their opinions, and learn a lot from many. When I adopt again, it will be a child who needs a home, probably from foster care. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

SgtShamy	I am adopted Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Gaia Raain	Prospective mom, adopting through foster care. I spent a few days in foster care as a kid, and my bff spent a significant amount of her pre-teen years in foster care. (I only add that in because sometimes I discuss foster care, too...albeit from a relatively uninformed platform, it's an emotional topic.) I was raised in an abusive home, married an abusive first husband, and finally "broke the cycle" about 11 years ago. (I mention these facts because they inform my opinions about most things...it's hard for me to separate ANYTHING I do from the difficult lessons I've learned.) Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Robin	I'm a former foster child, adopted by my foster parents at age 3 in the BSE. I was taken from my 1st mom b/c she didn't make enough money to support me (before welfare) & was "living with a man to whom she was not married" (per court records) years after her husband abandoned her. A former "teen" mom (I've since outgrown the "teen" part) pressured by a.mom me to relinquish my daughter (failed). She tried to have my daughter taken away from me (failed) & attempted to enlist the help of my daughter's father & paternal grandmother (failed). I finished high school after my daughter was born, then college (as a divorced mom) without any help from my a.family. I was reunited with my 1st mom in 1983 & my birth father in 1986. Former CASA (court appointed special advocate) for a child in foster care. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Irish	I am a birth father. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

BLW_KAM	I am an adoptive mom to an almost ten year old girl. I am a staunch supporter of open adoption. My personal mission is to be the most informed, sensitive, and open parent I can be. I want to do this right. We had plans to adopt another child through foster care but I was diagnosed with breast cancer when our daughter was only 18 months old. This squashed our dream of expanding our family. I am happy to be alive and healthy. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Blinky Jill	My Father died when I was 4 years old and my sister was just over 2. I did not know that my Parents had a 3 week old baby girl as well. My Fathers elder sister could not have children and had previously adopted a boy and a girl. She adopted my baby sister and raised her with her other two adopted children. They live in a different city and I never see them.. I found out about this when I was in College. My grandmother had a family tree in the back of her bible and I saw that I had a younger sibling that I knew nothing about. I made contact with her and we met up . Unfortunately we did not seem to be able to form a connection. She was under the impression that our Mother gave her away because she did not want her. This was completely untrue. My Mother was left a widow with two toddlers and a baby at 26 years old. She herself was adopted by her Fathers sister at 6 years old after her Mother died. She always knew the truth about her background and was at was at ease with it. For this reason I feel it is very necessary for adopted children to be told the true circumstances of their adoption from a young age so they gow up with the knowledge rather than finding out years later. This can have a bad effect on their lives. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

opedial	I am an adoptive parent, was once a potential adoptive parent. I adopted three chldren last April (all siblings) now ages 4,5,6. I come here because I like diagloue on this issue, I like learning from adult aodptees, I enjoy hearing experiences, both good and bad. The more education I have, the more pitfalls I can avoid as an adoptive parent. What I can say is that I was here as a PAP, and although I am pretty liberal and was adopting from foster care, I thought at the time some comments/views were pretty harsh and I stopped coming for awhile. After I received my children, I started coming back regularity to suck as much information as I can. There are things I still don't agree with (name, yes we altered the names, but it has worked out so far, but their first names are part of the alttered names and we are not hiding their past names form them etc.) but I digress, there are many things that maybe I have heard many times over, but then someone says it in a way that give me that "aha: moent, and those are what I looki for. Actual moments of enlightenment that can affect my parenting of my children in a postivie way. Long answer but it is never just as easy as our titles. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

@@@@@	...i know all you...... ...and oh yeah, I was NEVER adopted and foster care raised me. Splendid. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Freckle Face	Adoptive mom 6 cousins adopted thru foster care. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Lori A	I am a first mother from the BSE, who has been in reunion for 9 years. I am here to learn as much as I can about adoption and what it needs to be a better system. I want women considering adoption to make informed decisions. I want them to hear all the things agencies and lawyers do not tell you before signing those papers. I offer my story, my ear, and my feedback to those considering adoption but are torn and want to know how they will survive. I also want adoptive parents to know that reunion does not mean replacement. My daughters parents have not been replaced by us being in reunion. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Camira B	I'm a first mother who went through a fraudulent/coerced adoption this Feb. and am still in court now, fighting for my son. My "open adoption" has, of course, been closed, locked, and sealed with crazy glue. Since then, I've been speaking with House Reps, Senators, and pretty much anyone who will listen about my experience and the need for adoption reform. Oh yeah. My brief has just been submitted to the Judges so keep your fingers crossed for me. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No