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 Would Cinderella been better off being adopted?
All you who claim that kids are better off with relatives. Cinderella would have been much better off in a home with loving parents not with her family, don't you think this is true? It is also ...

 Are there adoptive parents willing to take the risk of a special needs child?
My BF and I have been together for almost 3 years. He is 37, I am 40. We have 2 kids each from previous marriages. I recently found out I am pregnant. The fact that we are pregnant is a miracle. (...

 I gave my baby up for adoption?
i was only 15 years old when i found out i was pregnant. id been with my boyfriend since i was 13 and i lost my viginity to him 3 months before i discovered i found out i was pregnant, i was on the ...

 Why is it so hard to believe that it might just be adoption?
Regarding (some) people's unhappiness with respect to adoption...

We have people who blame adoptive parents. And we have people who blame first parents. And we have people who blame ...

 Letter from biological Mom?
My husband and I adopted our daughter when she was a baby, (she is only 2 now) we have a semi open adoption where we send pictures and letters and her biological mother sends letters as well. R...

 I'm pregnant and have a fiance but we can't afford to raise a baby now and want to do adoption?
We are not stable enough to take care of the baby and we can't afford a baby right now does anyone know of any sites that might be helpful for ...

 I am 30 years old. Can I put myself up for adoption to a wealthy family?

 If adoption is so great, who here will place their children to be adopted by a more deserving & better couple?
Since everybody wants to sing the praise of adoption, who here would willing place their child for adoption during a time of crisis? Like a death in the family, job loss, divorce, or unplanned ...

 How to adopt , how to abort? I'm scared!!?
**also, I live in Arkansas, so does my boyfriend**
Additional Details
I have just found out that I'm pregnant earlier this week.
I'm about 7 weeks pregnant.
Before ...

 What do adopted kids call their birth parents after they meet them?
A question for you adopted kids out there.
Did you call them mom and dad? :/...

 If your giving your babies up for open adoption, how is the hospital stay? Do they get to stay with you?
I hear people telling me that you cant stay with them while your in the hospital, i hear people telling me they can. Its Open adoption, and i want to at least stay with them in the hospital. The ...

 Is it more important to adopt stray animals or children?
im trying to decide between a gorgeaus jack russel terrier at the animal shelter or a baby from China or somewhere
Additional Details
I wasnt being sarcastic whats with all the nastiness ...

 "Birth" Parent Privacy????
In my support group I attend, some of the natural mothers relinquished ten, twenty years ago. They feel that their children have no right to look for them since they have moved on to marry or have ...

 Why is it ok to have an abortion to save the mothers life?
But it's not ok to have an abortion for any other reason? How is one abortion different from the other?...

 I am giving my son up for adoption......?
Im 7 months pregnant and i wanted to ask if it would give me problems in later life if i give him up..... I don't even want to see him when he's born so would that make it easier for me if ...

 I want to adopt my friend's baby...?
it would be with the hope that she would be able to adopt the baby back at some point but I know there are no guarantees. My problem is that my boyfriend is not happy AT ALL about the idea. I'm ...

 How would you feel if you were involved with a couple to adopt their baby once it was born and they changed th?
their mind the day the baby was born? You had paid for everything for the baby, doctor, hospital, ultrasounds, bought all the things you would need for the baby. What is your feeling about this as ...

 Would you ever adopt a child? And from where.If you wouldn't, why not?

 I found my spouse's birth mother..he wants to meet his birth family without me!?! please answer fast!?
Please read all of this so you can understand before answering...My fiance and I just had a little girl a few months back. During that time I realized if we had chosen to give her up for adoption (...

 What do you call the people who raised you?
I was reading the best answerer in the linked question and wondered what people are actually calling the people that raised them (biologically related or adopted).
Additional Details

Rachel F
How can I convince someone to give their baby up for adoption?
My friend just got pregnant, but she's only a senior that hasn't graduated just yet. She wants to go to college and be a Forensic Scientist, and I'm afraid that she'll put that off just because she has a baby. I want to politely mention the idea to her to go for open adoption, and that way she can still be a part of her baby's life, but she won't be completely responsible for it. She isn't physically or financially ready for it, and I think it would be best to try and mention adoption to her. However, I'm not sure how to do it. Any help? I'm not asking for comments on how you think I'm being inconsiderate to her wants. I just want to bring it up, and that way she knows that she has options. Thanks. -- Katy

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I agree with Susan and Smarmy... what a lousy friend you are! What makes you think SHE cares more about her career than her own child? If it was a choice between my kids and my career, BYE BYE career!!!!

I'm sure she knows that adoption is an option, like others have said. If you're a real friend you wouldn't want your friend to go through the trauma and suffering of losing her child. Adoption is permanent. She can always pursue her studies while raising her child... I just got my degree two years ago, when my older son was 2. Was pregnant with him during school as well. He's sitting next to me right now eating his peanutbutter and jelly sandwich, reading a book. He's smart and beautiful and I can't imagine my life without him! Oh, and I have a very successful career as well.

Please be a REAL friend and DON'T encourage your friend to give up her baby.

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The decision should be hers, not yours. If she was already talking about it, you could mention it, but don't try to force someone to give up their child.

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You make me sick. Stay away from that girl before you poison her mind. Wow.

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Yeah, I think others will do that for her. You just be her friend and let her make her own choices. PLanned parenthood give the best unbiased counselling.

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I like Maybe's answer. LOL

All you have to do is tell her what you think she should do. Its not that hard. Just blurt it out. "You should get rid of this kid". "Your going to ruin your life".

It's what you feel, and she's going to pick up on it anyway so why not just come out with it. That way she can DUMP YOU for not being a supportive friend. She's going to anyway, as soon as she sees your resentment toward her child.

Kiss this friendship good bye.

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Never advise another person to do something that you know absolutely nothing about. Loosing a child in this fashion and being pressured to do it even worse. A child is not disposable to its mother and a mother is not disposable to her child. Becoming a mother is something that just happens quite often and most children are not planned. She will be ready, her body will go through nine months of conditioning for what is needed at the time of birth. Her body has the capability to provide the best nutrient's her child could possibly get anywhere. Her breast milk is custom made just for her baby. Your friend's life is and will be forever changed by this experience. All the work that she put's in it should have some rewards like sharing her life with her child.

If you feel that your friend is not ready for being pregnant, giving birth and raising her child. Than you had better step up and help her as a friend. Every mother to be needs support in all ways.

origins-usa.org (to learn about mother and child separation and the side effects)

keepyourbaby.com (to help your friend understand the importance of keeping her new family together)

All I can say is nothing in this world, not a car, not an education, not a million dollars should ever stand in the way of a mother and her child and the love and companionship that they so very much deserve.

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How can I convince someone to give their husband up for divorce? I want to politely mention the idea that if she got rid of him she could go to college and bang a bunch of frat boys.

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You could ask her if she knows what her options are. She doesn't *have* to keep the baby, but if she chooses to have it, she can also place the baby up for adoption.

I'd also like to say, that you can't really judge her for it. If she wants to keep the baby, it should be fine. My mom was not physically or financially ready to have a baby, and she had me. She is doing just fine.

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About $742,386,112 ought to do it.

If you don't have it, back off. It's none of your goddamned business.

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I think trying to convince her to put her child up for adoption would probably lead to resentment. I'm sure she already understands that adoption is an option. I'm assuming if she hasn't graduated yet that she's living with a parent or some other guardian, and they're probably drilling all the options into her. I don't think it's your place to discuss her options unless she asks you. If you want to help her, let her know that you will stand by her and help her in whatever way you can.

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Laurel J
You can't. If you were in her place, would you want anyone making this decision for you? Would you want her telling you what you can financially or physically handle?

She knows adoption is out there. Trust me--she knows. What you and she may not know is that "open" adoptions are in no way legally binding and that they very often "close" once all the papers have been signed.

In short, adoption means that, unless you are very lucky, you never see your child again. Are you really prepared to tell your friend she should do this?

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Convince. Your question and last sentence are inconsistent, you don't want to just bring it up when you say the word convince.

Do no harm.

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You can't, nor should you. Just be there for her and offer her support. Surrendering a child to adoption is one of the most devastating things a woman could ever go through, and many women never recover.

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Are you Rachael? or Katy? or both? I would worry about your life instead of others since you seem to have an identity crises.

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You don't nor is it any of your business. Adoption is forever and also means she has absolutely no legal rights or responsibility for her child if she did surrender. Your friend can still continue with her education and have a job when she qualifies. Pregnancy/raising a child doesn't stop a mother from having a normal life. You should be supporting your friend and encouraging your friend to be a mother and to carry on with her life but if you can't do that then butt out. Take it from someone who was coerced into surrendering that it was the worst thing to ever happen to me . I got on with my life as the alternative was death (seriously I have been suicidal) but it destroyed my life in other ways including relationships with other people as I have trust issues, low esteem and little confidence.

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That would not be at all appropriate. The decision of whether to adopt, abort or raise her child is hers alone and you have no right to start putting ideas in her head. It is an extremely personal choice that she alone will have to make. There is no way to 'mention' it to her without coming off as tacky and scheming.

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As a mother who did surrender (I "gave" nothing) a child, I can tell you that you will not be doing her any favors by trying to persuade her to place her firstborn for adoption. I have seen many a young, single mother finish school, perhaps not as quickly as they might have, but finish they did, and manage a career while raising a child or children. That child she is carrying will bond with her mother in the womb and will expect that mother, her sound, smell and heartbeat, to be the one constant in his/her new life. Please don't try to decide this for her. She could fool you with what she is able to do. No one is ever completely "ready" for motherhood, but they manage. So will she.

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Carol c
Don't do that!!!

A true friend will ask her how she feels and support whatever it is she wants to do. It's not your call UNLESS she mentions it. It's probably the most personal decision a woman has to make and she needs all the support she can get.

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Lady Rowan
You don't. It's her decision, and you shouldn't try to convince her of anything.

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Short answer: You cant, nor should you. It is her decision to make and hers alone. I know how you feel about wishing the best for your friend. One of my friends at that age got pregnant, and although i wished she would have given the baby up she chose to raise it. It wasnt easy but they are both doing well now.

Also, please let her know that there are many alternative education option for forensics science... I went to a four year program studying forensics, but when i interned with the local police dept most of the forensics people came from 2 year training programs offered at places like ECPI and ITT Tech like schools. Its quicker, cheaper, and gives you the credentials you need to enter the field. Much easier to do if you are raising a child. Good luck!

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"I want to politely mention the idea to her to go for open adoption, and that way she can still be a part of her baby's life"

Then you know nothing about open adoption and how she won't exactly be part of her baby's life. The promises of open adoption ARE NOT legally enforceable afterward. Once she signs the papers to give her baby away she won't be able to legally do anything when the adopters decide not to communicate or close the adoption (most close). She may never see her baby again.

"How can I convince someone to give their baby up for adoption?"

Friends don't try to convince friends who are going to be a mother to give her baby away. Friends don't suggest it. Friends don't even wish it on friends. If such a friend thinks adoption is so wonderful than she should give her own baby away when she gets pregnant.

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If you are her friend, you will never mention this to her, ever. You have no idea what you are asking her to do, the pain and the heartache a mother goes through when giving up a child. Sure her career might be put on hold, but that is better than giving up her child.

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Jennifer L
Unless she has been living under a rock, your friend already knows she has the option to place for adoption or to abort. You're making some big judgements on what you've decided she's ready for. So she puts off being a forensic student for a couple years, big deal! It's not the end of the world!

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I think most people know that adoption is an option out there. I mean if she is smart enough to become a forensic scientist I think she can figure out her options here. You shouldn't bring it up. It isn't your life, your baby, or your business. Just be her friend.

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