How are mother's forced to give up babies?

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DropsOfJupiter	i agree. what a bunch of bs. trying to blame the aps...if it werent for aps the the birth parent's FORMER children would be stuck in an orphanage. They should THANK the aps... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

ImAPalmTree	Mothers are NOT forced to give up their babies. I was only 20 when I had my son and there was no one knocking on my door trying to adopt my son, when that is OBVIOUSLY what I did not want. I think you are correct and people just regret it and have to try to blame it on someone other than their selves. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

FlyingMonkeySwatter	I have a hard time believing in this day and age, with programs out there, access to the internet and the support of female empowerment and acceptance of single motherhood that women in America are truly forced. I believe that "forcing" is a strong word and doesn't apply too often if at all. I believe that some women do not fact find and truly soul search all of their options do change their minds and some even say they were forced because they didn't understand and fully investigate their options. Noone guided them nor did they empower themselves. Some might define that as forcing--I do not. I also think some mothers for "forced" (coerced, pressured whatever) by that same definition to keep their children when they truly didn't really want to. That was NOT the case with the BSE era. Pressured today, probably---but there is pressure in any kind of life altering decision we all make. That is like saying you were forced to get married when you didn't really want to and then you walked down the isle. I think that is what being an adult and making choices for yourself--right or wrong-is about. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

gypsywinter	Carol C.. I appears OllieO is an adopted person.. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Independ"ant"	How about having a knife held to your throat while someone snatches up the baby. How about having a gun pointed at your head. How about beating you to a pulp or locking you in a closet or the more common tactic of drugging you. Yep....lets pretend this doesn't happen. Have you read any of the police reports made by Guate mothers that have lost their children to kidnappers (adoption agencies) who in turn sold them to US/Canadian citizens. I suggest you rent the movie Trade with Kevin Kline to see how easily its done. At the end of the film it will give you the current gov. stats as well how the US govt has done crap to stop it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

opedial	I have never been pregnant but I think that with all those hormones it may not be the best time to make any decisions. Geez, I don't like to make any major life decisions while on my period so I can only guess how crazy the hormones can be after pregnancy. That and in fact pressure can be asserted on people in subtle manipulative ways that you don't see until years later. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

=	It's called applying pressure and making women feel guilty ~ some use religion ~ some use "oh, you don't have enough money to care for a baby" ~ some use "oh you need to stay in school for your career" ~ some use "you are all alone, how can you care for a baby" ~ etc, etc, etc Wake up OllieO.O.O.O.O Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

♥♥Mum To Superkids is engaged♥♥	Wow, your compassion and empathy is astounding. Are you truly naive enough to believe that women go around having babies just to give them away? Really? Walk a mile in someone else's shoes. THEN you're in a position to judge. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Carnie C	a few decades ago when single motherhood had a stigma about it, I do believe that families counseled their girls into doing so to avoid the shame of single motherhood. I think adoption was viewed differently back then as well. nowadays, there isn't a stigma to single motherhood and there are plenty of programs available for young mothers to aid them in keeping their children. I do not believe that girls are coerced into it in this day in age (speaking ONLY of adoption here in America). Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

maybe	"Is it not true that at the moment mothers make the BEST decision yet later look back with a tinge of regret?" No, that is not true. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kateiskate is getting married	Okay DARLING, let me give you an HONEST answer... (see i can be condescending too) I was adopted from Korea where there is a huge social/cultural stigma against unwed or widowed mothers. These women are often pressured into surrender by their parents, their friends, their families. While I do not know the circumstances of my relinquishment, most Korean relinquishments could be prevented if society viewed single parenting differently. Also there are a lot of situations where babies are actually stolen from their mothers. This usually happens internationally and is a tragedy that does not deserve to be mocked by someone who can't empathize with the pain that would be having your child stolen from you. There are actually a lot of situations where mothers are forced to surrender their children. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

♥Charlie loves Lucas♥	this is just silly question Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kitta	The purpose of adoption is to separate children from their mothers and fathers and families..Are you saying that mothers somehow think this up on their own? Get a clue. Adoption is a government program. It started long ago.The idea was to "improve society" and reshape the family. It had its roots in the utopian society movements of the 19th century. It also provided study material for scientists who wanted to compare nature with nurture. Now, it is nothing but trafficking. but it always was that. . Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

magic pointe shoes	How are mother's forced to give up their babies? By the latter part of your question, it appears you aren't really looking for an actual answer. But nonetheless, it happens systematically of stacking the odds in favor of relinquishment. You get someone scared and fearful of the whole world crumbling because of an unplanned pregnancy which is then reinforced by all support from loved ones completely freaking out and being angry over the unplanned pregnancy. Those loved ones make it absolutely clear that either she can do what they wish, or leave and do what she wants despite never really being taught how to survive from rock bottom on her own ever. You get everyone surrounding her telling her how she isn't fit to be a mother yet, and to think of the infertile couples desperate to have her child to love. You get websites and media all aimed at the loving choice, without properly telling any of the ramifications that happen from adoption because as everyone knows, there is always someone who is a happy adoptee who is a cousin or neighbor who is thankful and grateful they weren't aborted. It's a systematic railroading, and even when we aren't strong enough to keep our children, that is used against us as proof we weren't fit or good enough to parent our child. Hindsight makes the railroading perfectly clear. And stating there is a tinge of regret is a vast understatement of my own grief over what happened. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

street urchin	darling, is it not true you don't really want answers to your questions? because they're not really questions? why don't you ask your mom instead of us? and be sure to include "darling" that will go over real big ETA: there are groups which refuse to believe the hollocaust existed as well. maybe you can join them. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

myst1998	BOOORRRIIINNNGGG... how many more questions are you going to ask with the intention of baiting? Go and do some research if you want to know... the info is out there without us needing to spoon feed it to you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mapleleaf2	You've never been pregnant or given birth, have you? If you have, then you'd know how pregnant and birthing mothers can be highly succeptible to force, coercion, or not being able to assert their rights or make themselves heard. It is called hormones and the physical changes of pregnancy and birth, darling. And, no, no decision can be made until after a mother has recovered from the birth, and this takes at least 2 weeks. Only with the rise of the adoption industry based on social work practices wanting to separate mom and baby ASAP did this practice of at-birth separation begin. Never mind the whole issue of whether a minor is psychologically capable of giving ANY sort of consent to surrendering their baby: "A minor may not legally consent to sexual intercourse, the possibility of abortion for the conception resulting from that intercourse, or what sort of medical treatment she will seek for herself during her pregnancy. But she may consent to the adoption of her baby, and the resulting termination of parental rights." (Durcan and Appell, 2001, p. 69). I wonder what you are thinking is a "decision" when the cases you are likely familiar with are instances where decision-making and freedom of choice has been entirely precluded. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

H******	Well, mine was told I was DEAD. These days? Subtle coercion tactics. Give it a go, go on, call an adoption agency and let them know you are 'considering' adoption as one of your options. You'll see, they won't leave you be after that :) Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

naughty girl	First of all, no offense but have you put a child up for adoption? If then you understand. If not you have no idea. I put my twin daughters up for adoption when I was 17. I was about to graduate high school, and I had a full ride scholarship to an amazing university, a internship I loved and it was horrible timing. When my mom found out I was pregnant she said when you come home from the hospital come home alone or not at all, and even though I had all of these things going for me, I still wanted my girls. In the end I did put my children up for adoption, and don't have any regrets, but I do feel that I was forced to do it. I would never change it for anything in the world. They are thriving, happy babies. There was no hindsight. When it was done it was done. It was the best decision that I could of made. No regret. I have a husband who loves me, a beautiful baby boy who I love with every inch of my soul, and an all in all a good life. I'm sure that their parents feel the same way. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Lady Rowan	no it isn't. Even my bio mom didnt really willingly surrender us(myself and my twin.) She wanted 1 child, was unprepared for two. She did what she thought was best for us at the time. She loved us, no doubt still does. And yes, there is something called the Baby Scoop Area, or Era of Mass Surrender, where girls and women, were forced to give up their children. Or coerced into it, by being sent away to homes for wayward girls. look it up. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Bookwarm	While filled with meds and recovery from childbirth after promising PAPs there wonferful "gift" a young frightened women may not be thinking clearly. Ethical adoptions should only occur well after a mother has recovered from the birth and been given a chance as well as resources and support to attempt to parent. Then a choice will be level headed. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sunny	I think you must be a VERY fortunate person, that you are unable to fathom that level of desperation. I hope life continues to go on as swimmingly as it obviously has for you--if not I fear for a very rude awakening. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

grapesgum	How? Many young women are backed into a corner by the collaboration between their parents, the adoption industry, and unethical adoptive parents who want a baby at all costs and have no regard for the natural bond between mothers and their children. They are never told about the negative impacts of losing their babies to themselves and their baby. They are "pre-birth matched" with desperate adoptive parents who will promise them anything to get their baby. And if they realize what's been done to them after they see their baby for the first time, they are told that they cannot have their baby unless they fork over thousands of dollars to the adoption agency. That's how. Happens every day. That is the adoption industry in America. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

♥♥Rita♥♥	Tactical coercion!! Read more, ask less.....good plan for one who thinks little!! <sigh> ETA; It has been very clear to me that many young women have been cooerced in to giving their babies over to adoption agencies. For a new mother to lay in her hospital bed, making innuendos that she is "having second thoughts" and then by told by some "CARING" adoption agency worker that she will be "breaking the hearts of the ADOPTIVE family" and "they will be SOOOO heartbroken"..........that can be nothing but TACTICIAL COERCION!!! Just becasue a pregnant woman walks in and makes a plan to place her baby fore adoption..............THAT IN NO WAY SIGNALS THE FINAL DECISION. I am fully in tune to people making their own decision.....and if a new mom changes her mind then the PREDATORY adoption agencies need to BACK OFF. As many have read, I have NO experience with private adoptions.....my only exposure being on here. However, the many stories I have read do read too much alike for them to all be pumped up for each person to whine about a decision they made and cannot live with. And Ollie, you beat anything I HAVE EVER read!! Why don't you just GET IT?? Makes me think you may be one of those CARING workers.... You cannot discredit what someone says or writes because YOU choose not to BELIEVE!! You cannot do so fairly anyway. To say these new mothers have never been through a coerced surrender of their child/ren would be the same as saying any other momentuous point in history NEVER happened!! and You can fill in that point in history with whatever you would like. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Camira B	sigh Women can and are forced to this very day I did make an adoption plan before my son was born. However, I changed my mind BEFORE anything was signed. That is when the hosp social worker said I could not take my son home because I'd tested positive for almost every drug in the book. Note: I was NOT and do not do drugs. I was told that if I did not do the adoption, my son would go to foster care and I would never see him again. This was reiterated by the agency worker and also a first mother who the agency worker put on the phone. I was not allowed to wait until other testing came back. And after all this occurred, I found out through a subpoena that they had two drug screens on the baby and my negative confirmation test back the whole time. I have those docs and they are dated. It's very easy for someone to say, "Well, you should have said no, or spoken with an attorney", but until someone experiences something like that, 16 hours after labor while still on opiate pain medicine, when they're already in a not so great state of mind, they don't really know what it's like. So, was I forced as in gun-to-my-head do it or you die type of way. No. But I most certainly was unduely influenced and there was fraud or at the very least an improper withholding of information involved. So, no, I did not think I was making the best decision. I thought I was making the better of two crappy choices that were presented to me. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Carol c	Ollie, you seem to be getting off on trying to create conflict or doubt. Why would you feel the need to do such a thing? Over and over you've heard from mothers who've shared their intimate stories of how they were forced, coerced or manipulated into surrendering their child. Many of us were lied to. You've had several books recommended to you such as "The Girls Who Went Away" and "Wake Up Little Susie" which are used in Women's Studies in universities all over this country. And yet you insist that you understand the secret motivation of all of these mothers? I can't remember your story - are you even adopted? If so, perhaps your mother saw it differently and believes she did make the BEST decision for you. But extensive research and anecdotal evidence has proven that the majority of mothers who lost children during the era we describe, were indeed forced. I'm sorry for you if your case was different, but as you say, let's be honest here - perhaps that's why you are so persistent about being rude darling? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jackie B	Depends on where this mother is. If she's a minor living at home, I can see parental pressure playing a part. In poor countries or those countries where unwed mothers are shamed or even killed for "proof" of their immorality, they can be forced. BUT, I do agree that a well informed decision by an adult woman who does not want to parent (not those who feel they can't afford it) is not forced at all. I'm sure every woman who had made that decision probably feels a tinge of regret. I don't see how you couldn't. And this applies to women with choices NOW, not years ago. Leave the BSE women out of it as well as those in other parts of the world who were truly forced. ETA: Camira B -- makes you wonder if that first mother was really one at all. I used to work in a hospital and it was not legal to have routine discharge paperwork signed by someone who had been on narcotics for pain esp. within the past 4 hours. If you were on a continuous infusion, you should have been considered to be "impaired" and legally shouldn't have been able to sign for discharge papers, much less your baby. I'm sure it would be hard for you to contest that though. The burden of proof would be on you, of course. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Lori A	It is a case of mothers seeing hind sight, absolutely. Hind sight that they were lied to, misguided, told one thing and delivered another. Hormones are powerful at the time of delivery, so are the drugs. Being young and ganged up on, told that you aren't going to make it as a mother, that if you love your child you should give them to someone else, can really play with a womans head. EVERY mother for the first time is scared and worried. The professionals just play on that until they wear them down. They can be relentless. How do you supose that a woman gets her hands on her baby once taken away in the hospital? They also promise the moon with no intention of delivering it and it's all legal. Not a fair fight at all but they know exactly how to manipulate, they have been doing it for decades. They are trained in the art of deception and betrayal. I talk to women who recently surrendered and they say the same things that us older first mothers say. No one tells these girls how much it's going to hurt, how empty they are going to feel, and that isn't psychological, its physical. A womans body goes through stages during pregnancy, that don't end at delivery and you suddenly go back to normal like before pregnancy. Your body has geared to nurture the child you just delivered and there is no child. Think about that for a minute please. There was no counseling in the past. today there is. My friend who gave me permission to pass along some of our conversations was told by her counsleor last month that she would be back WHEN the surrendering mother was ready to participate. WTF does that mean? This counselor isn't getting the responses she desires out of this woman who feels tricked and betrayed so she isn't going to come back to help her with her counseling until the woman agrees to play by the agency counseling rules. Which means change your opinion or your on your own. There are many of us here who are living proof, where is yours? I think you're starting to have issue with the fact that your mother might have wanted you. That she might have been tricked into signing her rights away to you. Is it possible that you are having second thoughts of who she might have been? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No