Do some of these answers make you want to adopt to prove anti-adoption supporters wrong?

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Pip	No and it's one of the worst reasons to adopt. Nobody should adopt just to prove anti adoption supporters wrong. Even before my own personal adoption experience I doubt I would have adopted. It never occured to me but even if I had thought about it I probably wouldn't have. I have three IA cousins who are happy well adjusted cousins who are also acknowledge that whilst they are happy they have suffered loss. I also I went to school with someone who was adopted. She wouldn't change her life for anything but also acknowledges she has suffered loss. My son has had a good life, is much loved by his adoptive family but has major issues with adoption and knows his adoption was unnecessary. Would he want his life to be different? I don't know and can't answer that. I really don't have a problem with a child being adopted if they have been abused and removed for their own safety. What I object to are coerced adoptions so if that makes me anti adoption then fine I can live with myself. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mykidzmom	I do not want to adopt as I have 2 of my own children and feel it would upset the family dynamics to bring a child into it--I'm referring to an older child, not an infant. I'm too old for infants. I've seen the family disasters when kids are adopted into already established families. It's not fair for the none of the kids involved. As for newborns, I think once a girl/woman becomes pregnant, it is no longer about her, but about the welfare of the baby and the life you can make for yourself and the baby. Love is NOT enough. It takes maturity, support and money to raise a child. None of it is easy. Yes, you can successfully raise a child on little money, but if you don't have long-term support and you are impatient and immature, you run the risk of raising a child who's circumstances will end up in a pit. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

momo's got some nice looking cupcakes.	Some of the answers are a little extreme, but a lot of the people in this section have had first hand experience in adoption. When we hear about adopption, we only hear about the paps view, and they make adoption look so pretty. Nothing is pretty about losing a child to strangers. I think adoption is unnecessary unless the child is being abused. Otherwise, a wommann CAN and DESERVES to raise her child, no mmatter how poor she is. I think the best family is your natural family. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

LaraSue	No... I do not want to adopt to prove ant-adoption supporters wrong. I don't have to. I know enough adoptees, birth mothers and APS to know that there are positive adoption experiences/ Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

SJM	One of the points that is frequently made here is that adoption is rarely about what's best for the child being adopted. You've certainly helped further that point. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Diya	I know that when people are happy, they'll tell a few people about it, but when people are angry or upset, they'll tell far more. I wouldn't adopt out of spite. But at the same time, I have to keep in mind that the people who do post answers on here are doing so because they've had difficulty with their adoption and they want to make others aware of it. And I respect their opinions. And I will listen to them. But guess what? I'm still gonna adopt. It's not to prove them wrong. I did want to adopt before I saw this forum, and I still do now. But I'm a lot more aware of how the process works now, and the hardships involved (: Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

tish_part deux	if anyone would adopt just to prove "anti-adoption supporters" wrong; then one would have just proved them right: that adoption is NOT about the kids, yet about adults trying to prove/fix/ et al something by using innocent kids. nice try. be well. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jen A	Yes I agree. Many people on here have lots of issues that can not be dealt with on YA, they need to seek professional help and I am not saying that to be mean. Adoption can go both ways. I have adopted a little girl in an open adoption and I am glad for YA for the fact that it helped me understand her birth mom (and no that is not derogatory) better and to know what some of her fears are/were. I just wish people didn't assume every person that had adopted "stole" the child, manipulated the bio mom, and will closed that adoption. It really ticks me off sometimes, I don't assume every adoption is a wonderful success, and the same courtesy from the other side would be nice. Wow! Two thumbs up (so far) for a postive adoption statement! I just can't fathom it! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Erin L	Wow! No, spite is NOT a good motivation to adopt! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cricketlady	Adopting to prove someone else right or wrong proves Nothing. There's nothing to prove by doing it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

minimouse68	Wow.....my adoption wasnt a "failure" Ive NEVER said that it was. It was UNNECESSARY and coerced, my first mother loved me and wanted to keep me but was forced to relinquish me but that doesnt make the adoption a failure, I adore my adoptive parents and extended family and have a great relationship with them..........they have NOTHING to do with how I feel about adoption. NO child should have to grow up feeling like they were abandoned by the people who should have loved them most, no child should have to grow up without genetic mirroring and a genetic history. My first mother wasnt a drug addict, she wasnt a drunk. She simply made the mistake of getting pregnant to a man who wouldnt marry her in an era where you were considered to be morally reprehensible and mentally unstable if you were young, single and pregnant. As for suggesting that people should adopt for vindictive and false reasons, SHAME ON YOU!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

monkeykitty83	I think making a major and life-altering (for you and the child) decision about your family's future on the basis of trying to prove some stranger on the internet wrong is a really scary and horrifying idea. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Randy B	Well, I know of 4 adoptions that are successes. Mine and three of my children BUT I'm sure that there are people here who will say that I'm smoking crack and delusional. They've said it before. Listen, not every adoption is perfect. Just like not every surgery works out fine or every marriage is successful. It's all what you make of it...both for the adoptee and the adoptive parent(s). Those who choose to dwell on the negative do so for their own reasons that only they can understand. They are no less valid then the reasons and opinions of those of us who are happy in our adoptions. They are just the Yin to others Yang. The truth lies somewhere in the middle. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Linda	Wow, what a reason to adopt. Besides that won't prove them 'wrong', their opinions are just as valid as anyone elses, no-one is right or wrong. Clearly you have no experience as an adoptee and therefore you cannot understand, so you have no place to dismiss people's feelings on this matter. I hope you do not adopt as children are not instruments to prove a point. That's as bad as a woman I met who said she deliberately didn't use birth control so she could prove a point as a feminist and get an abortion whenever she felt like it. Eugh, if you do end up adopting, please don't tell your grieving child that 'life goes on' when they tell you how much it hurts. That is so patronising and assumptive as again, unless you are adopted you have no idea what they are going through. Not every adoption is a failure, but that doesn't mean that the adoptee won't suffer the feelings of rejection and issues that come along with losing your natural family. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No