Is there anything in newborn or baby adoption that AP's, Adoptees and First Parents agree on? |
I am not talking about Foster Care or abuse situations.
What areas of infant adoption are OK for all parties, if any? Is there any agreement at all in the Triad for reform for infant ... |
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what is a good thing to send off with your bio child? |
In regards to giving the child up for adoption, what should I send with him? i want to send something with him so he doesn't think i am heartless for giving him up for adoption.
what ... |
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Why are you guys so against the photo listings for foster kids that need to be adopted? |
| Children actually find homes that way all the time. In my state every child that has parental rights terminated is placed on there . Many people see these listings and decide to adopt or become ... |
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Isn't filing a false C.P.S. report illegal? |
| I just got a letter from the Department of Human Services in which they told me that on the 15th of February, the hospital filed an allegation of child abuse and neglect of my son by me due to in ... |
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Why do you think poor finances is a good reason to place a child up for adoption? |
| Ok, so its a pretty common "reason" for placing a child up for adoption. I don't think its a good reason and yes i know there are a lot of people on here that agree with me but for ... |
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How Can I get fiancial backing ie. raise money to fiancie adopting a child without handicaps or being overage4 |
Additional Details hmmm unsure of whether or not I'm a bad canidit for being a parent but I can't be any worse then the many people who have kids and don't want them. I ... |
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Can I still....open adoption question? |
| If I was to give my baby up for an open adoption will I still be able to see my baby or does anyone knows how that works?... |
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What does anti-adoption mean to you? |
| Does it mean "leave abused kids with their biological parents"? Does it mean "leave kids in poverty"? Does it mean "mothers who abandon their children don't really love ... |
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I'm adopted and I want to run away.? |
| I got adopted into a white family and they two white sons. Every since I was little they used to call me the N word and the younger one still does. I told my adoptive parents but they do nothing and ... |
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are there any adoptees who don't think biology matters? |
| I was reading the answers to a question about how adoptees feel about their birth mothers and what theyd like to say to them. I was shocked that they all said they loved their birth mothers even if ... |
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We want to adopt, what should we look forward to? |
Look for people who have been through adoption, could you share your experience? Thanks Additional Details Looking for both adoptees and adopters, please share your experience.... |
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What kind of say should a NATURAL parent have in their child health care WHO IS IN FOSTER ARE? |
What kind of decisions should include the child parents and what is okay for the foster parents to do.
Just a few examples:
1-birth control
2- involuntary circumcision (infant-toddler)<... |
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to aparents who have? |
| akids going nuts in your homes, (violence, non-compliance, running away, whatever....) that gets so bad, you consider 'returning' them, do you STILL believe adoption doesn't play a ... |
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Becoming closer to my birthmother? I don't know what to say to her and others? |
Ok. I was adopted as an infant, and my parents have always told me about my birthmom, my adoption story and everything.
When I was 18, my birthmom got in contact with me and I agreed to meet ... |
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adoption thesis paper, need your thoughts? |
| im doing a thesis paper on adoption right now, the question being if it's alright for adoption records to remain sealed regardless of the wishes or needs of the adopted child. if you have any ... |
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Is International Adoption still wrong if the adoptive parent(s)...? |
Plan on teaching the child(ren) about their culture (by learning it and researching it).
Have no problem letting the child(dren) visit their country of origin in the future.
If the child(... |
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Why don't people adopt older children and adolescents? |
| How is it fair that infants and toddlers get loving homes and children and teens don't. Imagine going through adolescence without parents to ask about puberty, dating etc. Shouldn't they ... |
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If I want to adopt and my boyfreind doesn't want another child,? |
| what can I do? I have always wanted to adopt since I was a child. I have two sons, one in college (18) and one in second grade (7). I have always wanted a daughter. I want to adopt an older teenage ... |
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BRING IT ******!! |
Do people go adopting oversears so the child cant go looking for their parents when they're 18?
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gryphon50_2000
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I think that is part of it but another part is, in this country the biological parents can come back and try to get their kids. I've heard of several cases of even three and four year old children being taken away from adoptive parents to go back to biological parents. You avoid all that by adopting abroad.
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C Wood
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Not likely an attempt to prevent contacting of birth parents.
Most likely:
1) it can be much easier to adopt a foreign baby than a U.S. baby in some areas.
2) sometimes there just aren't as many babies as there are adoptive parents looking for one.
cw
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Sunny
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I think that's a big reason, Apple.
Also, there will be no interference from the child's natural parents.
Add distance, plus a language barrier and you've got a very desirable situation for potential adopters.
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Becca
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I am sure that is why SOME people choose international adoption. Is that why we choose that route-no.
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H******
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Yes they do and If that's what you are considering, then I think it would be an extremely cruel thing to do to a child.
Every human being deserves to know the truth of who they are and where they came from. The desire to know is not a reflection on the love an adoptee has for his/her adoptive parents at all - please don't be afraid of this. Many adoptees are closer to their adoptive parents when this is understood.
Purposefully cutting off a child's roots will only distance the adoptee more from the adoptive parent whilst understanding the very natural need to know the truth of one's origins only serves to bring them closer in their relationship.
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BPD Wife
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While international adoption was not an option for us, I do know that when we had previously discussed international adoption one of the reasons we "considered" it was not so that the child couldn't locate his original family but so that the original family could not show up on our door step and try to take the child back. After doing research and learning about adoption, we realized that these "fears" we had come to learn were rare. We also learned the importance of having a connection to the original family (in situations that did not contain abuse or neglect). I believe that some people may choose international adoption out of uneducated fears regarding the original family.
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Tiffany Y
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That is not why I am doing it.
Several members of my family and I have each looked into adoption at different times over the last 10 years and, I'm sad to say, it is very very difficult for an American to adopt an American child unless that child has physical or psychological disabilities.
It is actually much easier to adopt internationally, and you are more likely to actually get a child that way. In America, an adoption agency can charge you thousands, let the child live in your home for several months, then tell you that not only can you not adopt that child, all the money you paid towards adopting that child is now gone. No child for you.
That is exactly what happened to my aunt and uncle. Their marriage is his second and her first, they are both over 40 and are not able to have children of their own, yet the government has made it so that IF they are able to adopt a child, they will have to wait several years and thre is no real guarantee.
While in other countries there are orphanages that are so over-populated that they don't have enough beds for all the children. Children have to sleep 2 and 3 in a bed. Those children need families.
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StacieG
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I never considered that as a factor in adopting our daughters from South America. Someone who's insecure about a child searching for biological parents probably isn't the best candidate for adoption in the first place.
We chose South America because we knew that's where our daughters were. We also had a fear of all the media stories we'd heard about birth mothers tracking down adopted kids and either demanding them back or kidnapping them - little did we know how rare that was, but it all worked out for the best in the end considering we got the daughters we were meant to have. :)
next time we adopt it will likely be an older child or older children from the US foster care system. No particular reason other than that's where we feel our next child/ren is/are.
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rick j
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No .. lots of kids overseas need a good home.
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Jennifer L
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I can only speak for our family, but no.
In fact, we met our children's mother while in-country and keep as much contact as we are legally permitted.
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Doodlestuff
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I would say that this is an uncommon reason. More likely that it is less likely that the natural mother will change her mind. In most cases, the babies have been in the orphanage for months prior to adoption, so it's pretty uncommon to get a newborn.
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Santa's Lil' Helper
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Apple,
Not all adoptive parents want to block out their child's first parents. I would be happy if my dd's mother would stay in her life. She has broken contact three times. This last time has been particularly devastating for her. Luckily she has a great relationship with both sets of first grandparents and I love them dearly for keeping contact it means so much to all of us.
We had family over the weekend where we were altogether. When my daughter says mom mom FIVE woman look her way. When she says pop pop four men look her way. They all love her dearly and we love her enough to want to make this work for HER benefit.
Adoption in America can be difficult and family adoption can be long and drawn out. Ours took seven years. Children in other countries are no less important then American children when it comes to permanence.
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Randy B
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I can't speak for anyone else but that thought never crossed our minds when we adopted overseas. We happened to be living overseas and just took advantage of the opportunity.
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Angela R
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For us that wasn't the case at all. We really wish it was more common to have an open international adoption, and would welcome contact from any members of our sons' first-mothers.
We continue to send updates and photos to their files in Korea in hope that someday their first-mothers will go to the agency and ask to see them. We plan on taking them to Korea when they are older to access their files, and will help them in anyway we can with their birth family search.
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Freckle Face
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NO! We met and are still in contact with DD's First Family. If this is your reasoning behind adopting, then don't adopt. Any connection to the child's First Family is extremely valuable. Adoption is about the child. The child's needs and wants. Will the child want some connection to his/her First Family? Of Course!
http://www.informedadoptions.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=285&Itemid=66
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wynn
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I adopted overseas twice. We looked for our son's family right away so that we would know for sure the truth about his adoption, so we could exchange letters & pictures, and hopefully so that when our son feels ready, we can bring him back to meet them.
With our other two, who were siblings, we met their father the day after we met them. They were four and six years old when we adopted them, and we feel it's very important for them to have communication with their father all the time while they're growing up, not just when they turn eighteen.
I know a lot of IA parents, but none have ever expressed that thought to me - that they are adopting overseas to cut out the parents. However, most of the people I know adopted older children so I don't know much about people who adopted babies. With the parents I know, if they didn't search right away, they are kicking themselves now and trying to find people to help them search. They are realizing that for one thing, it's important to the child. For another, they want to confirm that their adoption was ethical.
I think it would be a huge mistake to go overseas with the motive of cutting out your child's first parents. If you're good parents your children will love you. That doesn't mean, though, that they won't be curious about where they came from, or unable to love other people as well. I would think your being open to help your child know his/her whole truth would strengthen your bond with each other. Trying to cut out 'competitors' might cause resentment.
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blank stare
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IF you are thinking of it this way, you should reconsider adopting. If you love your child (presumably the point of you adopting), then you want what is best for your child. That might mean he or she will one day want to find his or her heritage. If you have intentionally cut him or her off from it, what does that say about your love? That it's conditional? That you are really thinking only about your own needs, rather than the child's? That's not a good start to your parenthood.
I love my adoptive parents. And they love me. And they supported me in my search. The question you should be asking yourself is do you really want to love your child? Or are you really looking for an accessory?
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