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 Is a parent doing the *right* thing by ignoring their {adopted} child's feelings of abandonment...?

Additional Details
Does anyone know of any specific therapies that could help a child handle possible abandonment issues with specific regards to their adoption?...

 Do you see things in blacks and whites?
Or are you more of a shades of grey type person?

Are you pro- or anti- adoption?

Are you pro-choice or pro-life?

Why? I'm interested is why. :)
Additional D...

 What do the adoption regulars think of this birth mother thought?
So I was talking with my friend who is letting us adopt her baby and we got in a conversation about things I can't offer her legally because of the appearance of cohesion. She said "Isn'...

 Please help me it's about ADOPTION ?
well my friend is pregnant and she only 16 and im 16 to but she dont want to have the baby and i do so is there any way i can adopt this baby please help i already love this kid to death and i would ...

 what if the mother says no she doesn't want to sign can the social worker for the adoption get into trouble if
she tells the mother too bad your made your decision now sign it.. that can't happen could it
Additional Details
and isn't it such thing as changing minds as the saying goes &...

 Do you think there should be "wiggle room" with respect to criminal records?
for those who wish to adopt?

There have been a couple of questions about this in the last day or so...people with criminal records asking if adoption is still a possibility in light of ...

 For adopters: How often do you think of your child(ren)'s natural?
parents? Does it ever make you sad to think that this child who has given so much joy to you has a mother out there who probably misses him/her?
Additional Details
Amy C:
The term &...

 how old do you have to be to conceive?
i am seveteen now but i want to adopt a new born(hopefully twins) when i turn 25 is it possible to adopt at that ...

 Is it wrong to want to wish my first Mom Happy Mother's Day...?
...even more than my adoptive mom? I feel so guilty, but I feel like my adoptive mom has had a decades of "Happy Mother's Day's" from not only me but also from my siblings (her ...

 I have an adoption question, my wife and I are currently fertile and adventurous and open minded...?
I am actually only here today thanks to the shortage of "supply of adoptees".

My biological father was told by 2 doctors he was clinically infertile.

He adopted 2 ...

 im 16 and want to get pregnant?
i was taken away from my birth parents when i was 10 months old (they were meth addicts) and lately i've been like craving a child, i really want one, like maybe i could have a connection with a ...

 ICWA vs keeping siblings together (adoption)?
I've heard about this situation and I'm curious as to the opinions of people on this forum. For the record, I don't personally know anyone involved. I am a disinterested third party, ...

 Does anyone wish they were adopted?
Growing up with my family (mother father, two full siblings) I always wanted to find out I was adopted, like I would have a whole other family out there. I still loved and wanted to be with my ...

 I'm looking for my brother. He was put up for adoption at birth.?
What I need to know is where do I begin this journey? My mom has some details. But not many. Of course we have his birthdate, and the hospital he was born. She actually named him, but for some reason ...

 BSE Adoptees & Open adoption?
My closed adoption was not emotionally healthy for me. I was glad in recent years to hear that most adoptions were now 'open' meaning that there would be meetings, gifts, photos, and most ...

 what are my chances of adopting?
hi, im female, 30, single and gay. what would be my chances of adopting? I dont know loads about the ins and outs but im seriously considering it as all ive ever wanted was to be a parent but with ...

 What are they so afraid of people finding out....?
I just finished reading a post , And it dawned on me that this person did not have a clue about the practices that were done with adoption for decades.... That being said, Why do you think they ...

 Have you known any AP's that have problems?
I know we hear about how "biological" mothers have addictions and mental problems, I was wondering about the AP's you know?

1. Are they still married?
2. Have they ...

 Posts regarding adoption blogs?
There are several community "regulars" here that frequently post links regarding adoption stories and AP blogs. All of these stories and blogs involve APs behaving badly. So I'm ...

 Have you seen this article about the ProLife Ads on American Idol?
They are celebrating adoption. Their tagline is "Imagine Adoption"...well, I have been 'imagining adoption' for over ...

Can a parent regain custody after they gave up their parental rights?
My brother and his ex-girl friend have 3 children. While pregnant with the 3rd child she was born with her intestines outside her stomach and found drugs in the childs system. CPS got involved, the children were placed in foster care for a while. The courts then gave the mother the oppurtunity to keep her children by going to rehab and abiding by the rules the court set out for her, and she did not do what they asked, so the courts found both parents unfit, and asked them to give up parental rights, The mother willingly signed over her rights, and my brother faught against it so his rights were terminated. My mother faught for custody so they would not be place in foster care. My mother was awarded custody for the 2 oldest girls, but unfortunately could not get custody on the 3rd child. She has been adopted. My brother and his former girl friend have been drugs addicts and thieves for many years, no jobs, and they lived with my mother and my mother had to support them and the children since they were born. My brother and his girlfriend are no longer together, she has a child with someone else, that is currently in prison for a robbery and drug related reason, and is due to be released in 2 month, and she also has child endangermment charges on her from when they found drugs in her babies system. She has been working and going to school. She is now mentioning getting the children back. Is this possible? My mother has had custody of the children for about 2 years now. Their mother has done nothing to help my mother with these children financially. I do not believe she should get the children back. Me and my mother are the ones who have raised them.
Additional Details
Also my mother has custody of the 2 children but she has not adopted them. Im not sure if that makes a difference.

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Her rights were terminated. She no longer has any rights. I wouldn't worry about it.

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The couple who adopted the baby are now its legal parents, so that is a definite no. As for the two your mother has custody over, who have not been adopted, she is probably viewed as foster care unless she was named a legal guardian. Call your state child protection services.

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The Lauren
I highly doubt it. If she signed away her rights, did not get her life together as it was ordered by the courts, and has not been a part of their lives, its very unlikely any judge would grant custody to the mother. She basically abandoned her children.

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Mom to Foster Children
No, she has no legal ties to these children anymore as she relinquished her parental rights.

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If the children were in CPS custody and then placed in your mother's custody, did she get guardianship of them?? Was any kind of legal protection awarded so that the offending parent cannot come back in and "take" custody back??

I do not believe she can come back and take the children since they were in CPS custody however, in many states it is possible for a relinquishing (vs termination) parent to reclaim their parental rights if the children are not adopted within a certain period of time and they can prove they are now fit. Maybe she needs to consult with an attorney.

Take care!!

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Lady Rowan
in this case, sounds unlikely. She sounds VERY unfit to be a parent. CPS got involved, and she'd have to get clean, a stable job, and stay clean for a certain amount before they'd even consider giving her back her other two kids.

The third has been legally adopted, and the circumstances surrounding it, i'd say no.

She has almost no chance of getting the kids back.

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Stacey R
The third one was legally adopted so she cannot get that one back no matter what. As far as the other 2 go. I don't know once your rights are stripped you are done. It wasn't like she fought it and had them taken away she gave them up. I don't think any court system would let her take the kids back. Don't worry yourself about it.

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I'm pretty sure that the answer is no.

If the children are in foster care with your mother there may be a slight chance, although technically speaking if the parents have no parental rights then they are going to have a very hard case.

If the children have been adopted by your mother then the answer is definitely no. The only exceptions to this are severely extreme, for example, if a disabled mother did not understand what se was doing when she signed the children away and was pretty much forced to by someone else.

As this is not the case I am sure the children will stay in the safe loving care of your mother and yourself. Exactly where they should be. x

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Randy B
If their rights were terminated by the courts and were legally adopted by your mother then, in my opinion, there is nothing this woman can do and what she is saying so just "talk".

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Termination of parental rights is permanent. It doesn't matter if it was voluntary or involuntary. Once parental rights are terminated, the only way to get the children 'back' is to adopt them.

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farm mom of 10
She is no longer their mother. She has no claim to them. It would be like a stranger on the street coming in and demanding the children back. Of course she can get a lawyer and go to court and try, but I believe she would be wasting a LOT of money, and it would be almost a sure thing she would lose.
I had a little foster daughter for a while, and her parents lost their rights, and a great aunt and great grandmother got custody of her. They did not adopt her, they are her guardians. The ex-parents 'think' they can get her back when they get stable, but I asked the caseworker, and she said no, absolutely not. They are not her parents any more. In fact, she said as her foster mother, I would have a better chance than her parents, hypothetically!

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