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 Would you judge a mother....?
If she gave her disabled child up for adoption?

Lets paint a picture....she decided against abortion. She was young. But learned the child was disabled, and decided then to give it up ...


 how and when can i adopt a baby?
i am not married and i want to adopt a child, i want to know about the laws for adoption or any site where i can get such help....


 Foster children and therapy after adoption?
I will ask our resource manager when we meet her but in the meantime. We are fostering to adopt. We were told in training that many foster kids are in therapy because of the abuse they have ...


 what do you think of adoption?
i was thinking of telling my mother she should adopt a homeless baby. I feel very sad just looking at the videos on my tv of these homeless babies. I love babies so much ill do anything to save their ...


 When opportunities for Adoption like Haiti's dire situation arises, are people more incline to adopt young?
children as opposed to grade school & teen orphans?...


 Who's involved in an adoption? What do their identities mean in the Context of adoption?
hi, i'm doing research on adoption and I need some help.

These are some of the people that could be effected by an adoption:

1. Adopted child
2. Birthparents
3. A...


 live with another parent in process of adoption?
if a 15 year old is living with her mother and stepfather and theyre in the process of adopting her but its not complete yet does the 15 year old have the choice to live with her real father?...


 Haitian adoptions / interracial adoptions?
My husband and I are seriously considering adopting from Haiti. I am curious about other's experience with Haitian adoptions. Also we are Caucasian and the child will most likely be of African ...


 im pregnant and want to put my baby up for adoption, please help?
i am only young and i am 8 weeeks and five days pregnant.
me and my boyfriend are still together, but we dont have the support from our parents or the money to care for it.
yes i know ...


 Legal rights of a father...?
My cousin wants to put her baby up for adoption (not born yet). She has many reasons to want this baby adopted out so please don't make this the issue. The baby's father doesn't want ...


 husband wants to adopt my child?
my husband would love to adopt my child and i was wondering what are the steps needed, i know we need the bio fathers consent but has he abandoned his parental rights by not being in my child's ...


 possibly pregnant or pills.?
I went on holiday on the 27th of june + I didnt want my period to come so I got some pills from the doctors that delay your period, I wasnt due to start taking them until the 3rd cos my period was ...


 I am looking for the highest rated adoption agency for Domestic?
I am looking for the best adoption agency or service in order to adopt in the US.The parent would be a single mother.
Thanks in advance!
Additional Details
Yes, I know about this ...


 Low cost adoption agencies?
Hi,
Does anyone know of any low cost or sliding scale adoption agencies? While I'm sure some will take offense to this, $15-20K to adopt is absurd to me.

My husband and I are ...


 Do surrogate "birth" mothers have a place in the child's life?
(1) when the egg is not hers
(2) when the egg is ...


 Can you think of the strangest question you've ever read in this section..?
...about adoption?

I'm not asking for the worst or best, just...weirdest. Maybe they made you laugh, maybe they were utterly confusing, or someone who was so grossly misinformed about ...


 i'm adopted. i wanna know how other adoptees handle it.?
when i was little my adopive mom&dad would tell me and my older brother its great! but now that i'm older it kinda embarrases me! i want opinion from adoptees please.

Much <33...


 Single Parent Adoption. Why doesn't every agency allow it?
I am writing a speech for a class about single parent adoption. For part of it i need to write the obstacles, but every website I look at either doesn't allow it and don't say why they don&#...


 does the mother to be have the right to put the baby up for adoption if the biological is father around.?
...


 Any step child adoption success stories? What are the steps needed in Mass?
My ex is the stereotypical deadbeat, non payment of support, no interest in spending time with child ect. He has not seen his son since November. Before that he had not seen him since maybe February. ...



CrackerJack250
Can a family on low income or a working class family meet the criteria to adopt a child/baby?
My wife and I want a baby, but we think she might be infertile. So we'd like to adopt, but we don't know how much money it will take and how financially stable we would need to be to adopt. I've did a little bit of Googling and it seems like rich, conservative, middle-aged families are what adoption agencies and birth mothers want. But that don't meet my wife and I's description. So anyway...

Can a family on low income or a working class family meet the criteria to adopt a child/baby?
Additional Details
to gypsywinter

The way I see it, mothers who use the excuse that they're too poor to raise a child they're full of BS considering all of the government assistance that's out there. You can't put financial stability over emotional support. But if a mother wants to give her baby up for adoption out of not giving a d@mn, rather than abusing her baby adoption would be necessary.



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Marnie B
We are working class & we adopted. Unlike a family with more money, we had to make a lot of sacrifices so we could save the money. We stopped eating out, going to movies & concerts, didnt take vacation for 2 years, bought second hand clothes, & saved whatever we could for adoption costs. We also got a loan from the bank. It was hard & at times during the wait we wondered if it was worth it, but when we finally held our baby we knew it was. Most birthmothers are not looking for rich couples, just stable couples. Our birthmother knew what kind of job my husband had & it was ok with her.

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Molly
unfortunately adoptions are very expensive. Unless you have a rich relative or a healthy bank account then the only way might to go thru the foster to adopt program. It just about completely free, no cost to you. (personal experience)

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gypsywinter
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So you and your first answer person want to adopt a baby on the cheap, just because you desire one and some expectant mother should just hand her newborn over to either one of you...jeez how noble and generous of you both! Why would any broke expectant mother want to hand over her kid to low-income (broke) people? The supposed broke expectant mother can already give her newborn a low-income family, herself. Supposedly adoption is all about 'better'/more...isn't it??

ETA to OP: ""You can't put financial stability over emotional support.""
BS! This is exactly what adoption agencies tell mothers who are contemplating surrender of their newborn. They tell the Mothers that "Love is Not Enough", that babies need a 2 parent household with financial stability, own their own home, are college educated and have money in the bank. I heard this BS speech 45 yrs ago and that same 'speech' is given today.
"" But if a mother wants to give her baby up for adoption out of not giving a d@mn, rather than abusing her baby adoption would be necessary.""
You assume far too much and actually shows how little you know about surrenders and adoption. The majority of mothers that surrender their newborns, do it because they bought the 'speech' and believed what they were told by social workers and adoption agency workers. And where have you gotten this faulty notion that every surrendering mother was actually an abuser mother waiting in the wings to abuse her own child? What you are doing is simply justifying your reasons for wanting a newborn...demonizing the mother (any young single expectant mother), thereby placing sainthood upon yourself. This old surrendering mother ain't buying what you are selling...adoption rhetoric, myths, stereotyping and falsehoods. Now do the right thing and HELP the truly needy child who needs a family and a safe place to live...those children who are already freed for adoption in foster care.

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7rin
Hang on a minute... there's all these women being told that they should abandon their kids to adoption 'cause they're poor, and now you can in asking if you can still adopt when you're poor too!

Yes, you probably could though - look into foster care, since that way you even get to help a kid who actually needs help. :D

I was abandoned to adoption at 7mths old, and would like to give you a word of caution - not to put you off being willing to help a child who honestly and truly needs help, but to make you aware that adoption isn't always the rainbow farting unicorns as depicted in the media.

I honestly and truly wish that I'd been aborted instead of abandoned to adoption, so please be prepared for the fact that any kid you adopt could grow up (I'm 37, so definitely and legally a "grown up" in pretty much everywhere) to be as screwed up as me.

I didn't have a bad adoption - my afamily are the best I could ever have chosen... but if I'd been able to choose, I'd've chosen to be aborted before birth instead, 'cause at least that way the lifetime of agony I've gone through would've been over in minutes, instead of the decades I've been suffering for now.

I've been in reunion with my bfam for a while now, and even that's proving to be completely agonising.

Taken from Nancy Verrier's book, Coming Home to Self: http://www.nancyverrier.com/self_book.php


For the adoptee every day is a challenge of trying to figure out how to be, although he probably doesn't understand the difficulty this presents for him. It has been true his whole life and, therefore, feels normal. However, it takes a great deal of energy and concentration. And it never feels quite right. He never quite fits. Therefore he feels as if /he/ is never quite right.
(pg 50)


Abandonment and neglect are reported to be the two most devastating experiences that children endure - even more devastating then sexual or physical abuse. That's why some neglected children do naughty things to get attention. Even though the attention is hurtful - being yelled at, hit, or otherwise harmed - it is better than neglect. /Anything/ is better than abandonment. Abandonment is a child's greatest fear. For adoptees, it is also reality, embedded in their implicit and unintegrated memory.
(pg 102)


It is sometimes difficult to spot grief in children. After all, it isn't as if the child sits in a puddle of tears his entire childhood. As one adoptee said, "Of course I played, laughed, sang. Do people think that if you're not sitting in a corner with your head on your knees, you are not sad? I had happy times, but the sadness was always there, even when I was having fun."
(pg 117)


Please read back through a few months worth of resolved questions in here http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/index?sid=2115500138 and then go read through all of the books and links listed at http://7rin-on-adoption.dreamwidth.org/tag/recommended+reading

Comprehend that lot, and you'll be about ready to adopt. :)

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Morales Familee
im in the same boat. though we have children, we dont feel our family is complete and would like to adopt a baby in a couple years. we are a family of 6, not rich by any means, we make aprox $5x,xxx a year, enough to pay our bills and have a little fun but nothing extravagant. from what i have been looking into the best option for us folk who dont have $30k to throw at an adoption agency is adopting a foster child or private adoption, where you adopt a child from someone you know, a young family member, friend, friend of a friend etc.

my husband made a joke the other day that we should start hanging out in front of abortion clinics, i know not funny.
**************************************…

Check with your work to see if they offer adoption assistance, my husbands job does, up to $10k.

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Dismal Bliss
Rating
I do not have an answer to your question.

But it seems to me that adoption costs are all wrapped up into agencies fees. They are scoring a commission, as it were. This, at least, is the presumption I have been led to believe.

Therefore, it would also seem to me, that if you cut out the agency, you cut out much of the costs too. But then the trick is finding a child to adopt and birth parents to sign them over to you.

I imagine that is difficult though.

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not here
Rating
yes no matter how poor or rich you can appot show love and support and of course wic program can help

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Mauricio
why would you adopt if you can not support a child?

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Pip
Rating
Single, poor mothers are pressured into surrendering just because they are poor and no they don't generally use that as an excuse. Unless you have been in that situation you have absolutely no right to judge or criticise. You have no idea what tactics are used to persuade poor mothers that they are doing the selfless thing by surrendering. Your response to gypsywinter was unkind and thoughtless and certainly not the way to impress people here.

To answer your question though yes you can adopt as adoption is about providing a stable loving home for a child.

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MamaKate is an Aunt!
Rating
Yes. Working class people can adopt.

Money isn't SUPPOSED to be what adoption is about. Finding homes for kids who need them is. Your local social services department can help you find out about adoption through foster care and help you and your wife prepare and go through the process if you qualify.

It is always good to do your homework and learn as much as you can. Adoption is no different. Learning about adoption from as many places & perspectives as possible will help you prepare, not just for the adoption process, but also things you may encounter as your adopted child grows up.

For more information visit http://www.usa.gov/Citizen/Topics/Family_Issues.shtml. There are literally thousands of children who are already free for adoption in US Foster Care who are waiting for loving (not necessarily wealthy) homes.

Good luck!

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cricketlady
All the adoptive parents that I know{and that would be close to a hundred ]are working class parents.
And a majority of them would be classed as low income. As long as you can support yourself and pay the family bills you can qualify to adopt thru social services---as long as you can pass a criminal background check and meet all the other factors.

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