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 How to deal with angry people after giving up my son?
Hello, I'm 17 and a junior in high school. I got pregnant in the middle of my sophmore year, and I live in a conservative rural town so my boyfriend and I weren't able to find a place close ...


 Why don't more couples adopt dogs rather than children?
I've known from a very young age that I wanted to be childfree since I'm very intolerant of children and feel like having one of my own would ruin my life.I've always been a dog lover ...


 What in the world is wrong with wanting children?
I simply do not understand why there is anything wrong with longing to be a mother. Oh, those of us who have children cannot imagine the pain these women go through dreaiming to hold a child in her ...


 Anybody else find the anti-adoption movement ridiculous?
As a person who was adopted, and has a great relationship with her parents, I find it really disgusting. I read up on it earlier, and the anti-adoption movement is actually a group of people who ...


 I'm Thing of Giving My Son Up For Adoption?
My son is almost 6 weeks old. I just can't handle it.

To set the scene, my boyfriend wanted the baby, not me I wanted an abortion. I had the baby though, trying to be unselfish and do ...


 What is the Problem People have with Madonna and Angelina Jolie Adopting children in Africa?
I live in Africa and know that some children would be better off with celebrities in the USA than over here. Every day in Africa 34 000 children die. That is equivalent to 500 bus loads of children, ...


 do you think someone should give up their baby just because they can't give him everything under the sun...?
when an adoptive family could.....
I mean money isnt everything,right?
Additional Details
I mean,I'm being told by the babys father that I'm selfish to keep him and I only ...


 How many meals a day do you have to give foster kids?
Do you HAVE to give them 3, or if they eat a big breakfast can that be it?
I have to toughen up due to the economy....


 How do I tell the adoptive couple I've changed my mind?
I feel completely horrible. My mother and I had recently looked at perspective adoptive parents and even went as far as meeting with a couple. I realized I just can't give my little baby boy ...


 Do adoptive parents want updated medical information?
or would they rather take it as it comes and hope for the best?...


 When/how to tell her she's adopted?
I am friends with a family who adopted a little girl a birth she is now 4. They still haven't talk her she is adopted they said she won't understand. They said they want to tell her around ...


 how much does it cost to adopt a healthy white baby?
it is expensive?
Additional Details
Oh wow, where did you find her?...


 Why, for parents, an adopted child is different than a natural child?
Or is it the same?
Additional Details
i guess is not the same, but what is different ...


 Was your child sent to you OR were you sent to your child?
Anyone is free to answer but as an adoptive mom I am curious as to what other adoptive parents think. How about any pre-adoptive parents out there, Any thoughts?
Additional Details
I am ...


 If we adopt a child of 11 years and older, can we change their first name?
...


 Can I get paid for giving my baby up?
I'm 22 with a 3 yr old & I can not afford to take care of another child. I've come to terms with giving my unborn baby to adoption. But can I get paid for it? I'm struggleing with ...


 Let's put a different spin on it...if you were pregnant?
and in some financial hardship...like many, many of us have been...how would you have felt if your very best friend suggested that perhaps your child would be better off if you gave it up for ...


 should adoption become a criminal offence?
i believe it should. why can't these self-righteuous people just help the mother financially or share in the child's upbringing? why do they need to legally OWN the child?
Additional D...


 I dont know if I'll ever be okay...I gave my baby up for adoption?
I gave birth 5 days ago and I miss my son so much. I didn't hold him my last day at the hospital because i was afraid I'd take him and run... tomorrow I meet his new family for the first ...


 Do you believe that adoptive parents are glamorized and idealized?
I'm not saying they're not wonderful people. I know mine were. But to read most of the posts on this site, you would think they were Madonna incarnate. (Or at least Angelina Jolie ...



defyinggravity13
Can I adopt my friend's baby?
So, my friend confirmed her pregnancy this morning after 10 different test brands and a trip to Planned Parenthood. She, the father and myself had decided that they would like for me to adopt the baby. The catch-22 is that I am 20 and my fiance (we are getting married in December...2 months before the due date). He will be 21 at the time. We both have excellent jobs and don't see any reason why we couldn't adopt this child. Are there any laws that would prevent me and my future husband from adopting the baby?
Additional Details
I have gotten several questions asking why. Well, my friend just turned 19 and although her boyfriend is a great guy, he works too much and already has 2 other children. My friend doesn't have a job, car and no college education. The situation is unique because I want them to have a connection with their baby and I have agreed to an open adoption. My friend was adopted and she understands the whole birth and adopted family dynamic. If she could keep the baby she would. Knowing how she feels about abortion and also didn't want her baby to end up in a foster home for any length of time, I offered myself.



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Lisa W
Rating
No, if the birth mother and father are willing to terminate their parental rights (and stay away) you shouldn't have a problem. One thing to beware of is are birth mom and dad really willing to never have anything to do with the child. You just don't want them popping by when you and your fiance/husband have decided on how to raise the child interfering with your decisions.

Make sure they realize you two will be the parents and not the babysitter.

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Samantha D
it sounds like an exellent oppurtunity but if you really want to go for this just make sure there is a written document between you and ur friend. Just in case if for some odd reason she would want the baby back and you to get in some fight. ( just to be safe)
*congrats!!

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Jennifer L
It would be a private adoption. You and your fiance would need to do a homestudy and complete all of the qualifications of any adoptive parent. An adoption attorney or finding an agency that will facilitate the private adoption is recommended to make sure all of the legalities are completed.

However, your friend and/or her boyfriend may change their minds after the baby is born. There is nothing that says they have to make this decision before the child is born. Make sure that everyone agrees this is the best thing for everyone.

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sizesmith
Rating
You'll have to have a home study, and you'll have to make sure that if you get married before the baby is born, that you don't have a waiting period of a few years before you can adopt. In my state (Arkansas), my fiance and I were told about a baby to adopt, and I'd tried several times, and this seemed real. After quite a bit of research, I found out that we couldn't live together once the baby was born, nor could we get married and then adopt this child, because of a then 3, now 2 year waiting period. I adopted as a single mom, even though our son calls him "Da-Da" (he hasn't even said ma'ma yet). "J" is the best father any child could ask for, and I will never prevent him from seeing our little guy, unless for some reason he became a danger to him (I don't see that happening). Research your laws and statutes, and consult an attorney before announcing your engagement in the paper, or getting married. My prayers are for the baby, and I hope everything works for his/her life.

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Demetrius W
Rating
yes, but you have to have a clean record.

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fidm club chapter
Rating
Not really but there is a long process at which you must go through depending but your the best!! thats really sweet of you!!!

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tony_le12
I don't know much about laws and restrictions about adopting a child.
Problems you may face, when you adopt this child you may have to move far away. If not there will be custody involve.
After all she is the mother and she have her right with the child. The child will have hard time with that kind of life also. I wish you both the best of luck.

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Gwen H
Rating
No if yur friend agrees and yur fiance agrees there should be no problem

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I got the answers!
I don't know, you may want to ask a lawyer. But I just wanted to tell you that you're an awesome friend and person for doing this at such a young age. Best of luck!

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keeley910
I dont think there any laws stating you and ur husband couldnt adopt this child as long as u have it confirmed and that ur friend the father of her child agree also.
♥ good luck ♥

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Amy
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if both of the other parents are consenting, there should be no problem whatsoever. be sure to have a lawyer draw up good papers containing info about the future and their contact with the child.

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etmann
I live in KY. There are no laws as far as I know here or any where else that could stop you. As long as you and your fiance are to be married and have a successful career and life planned you should pass inspection completely and be able to adopt your friend's baby.

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Yahoo !
I don't think theres law limits on who u can adopt the baby from. I know adopting a baby is currently legal. But i have no facts either about if u can adopt from whoever. Just coomon sense. Also if you haven't already, make sure its okay with ur soon to be husband to have a baby. Anothers words ask him if he wants the baby too. As for the baby, I think so. Try asking a lawer. Maybe u get a better answer on here. If not, ask a lawer.

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upallnight
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As long as the natural parents agree, there shouldn't be any problems.

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computerdragon_stl
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It's called a private adoption. you all need to see a lawyer and get the details worked out. it is legal.

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Hannah
You are young but if you are ale to provide a stable environment and help to foster a good relationship with the birth parents then you would atnd a good chance.

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Camille
Rating
Well you should contact an adoption lawyer and see what they have to say.
There is no reason why you can't, you just need to figure out all the legal stuff.

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omfg google it
i see no reason why you wouldn't be able to. especially if the parents think that it would be best.

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sunshine:)
Rating
i think thats a wonderful thing you are doing
best of luck!

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The Discover Chic
Rating
It's worth a try

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Whathappened2U
You shouldn't have any problems as long as both the baby's mother and father agree. All of you will have to go to the attorney's office to fill out the required paperwork. It is a fairly simple process since you aren't going through an agency.

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Jason B
No but a marriage could help.

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Annie
Rating
No, there aren't any laws. But this is going to be complicated and everyone involved might consider counseling. Many agencies offer adoption counseling services.

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Brian S
Rating
you should be all set. they will look @ your criminal backgrounds etc. but most likely they will allow you to do so :)

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Alicia
Rating
So.....

Why can't THEY keep the baby, again? You neglected to mention.
It really matters. I'll edit this with a finished answer once I know, ok?

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H******
Some friend.

"A dream come true for all parties"

Excuse me? you really think it's the dream of any child to lose their mother pppfffft

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Gaia Raain
All the issues you mentioned are temporary. It would not be in this child's best interests to be raised by anyone other than his/her natural family. Why not offer your services as a temporary guardian until she gets on her feet, instead of falsifying the child's birth records to completely exclude his/her entire heritage? Instead of an open adoption (which means nothing, legally), why not try co-parenting? Children can love more than one or two adults, equally. No one needs to be excluded.

One last point to consider: how will you feel if your friend gives birth, takes one look at her baby, and decides that all those things don't matter, and that she needs to parent her own child?

Please do NOTHING until after the baby is born and she has had the chance to hold her baby and fall in love. This often happens, and you can't predict whether or not your friend will decide to parent.

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Robert E
I think so ....... be careful mixing friends and adoption ...... will you always be friends ???

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MamaKate is an Aunt!
Rating
Please explain why you will need to adopt this child? If your friend wants to keep her child and you want to help out, why not do just that? Her current situation is only temporary...

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Kazi
Rating
Tread lightly.

While there may be no legal reason keeping you from adopting your friend's baby, your friend is at the beginning of her pregnancy and could very well change her mind once she has seen her child.

For everyone's peace of mind, I would wait to decide anything until after the baby is born. I believe it could save a world of heartache for everyone (including you).

ETA: There are many resources available to help her out if she indeed wishes to keep her baby. I'm not sure where you live, however, a quick web scan can find them out for you. As much as I understand your desire to have a baby, especially with your fertility in question (I'm an adoptive mom), I do assure you that this situation is NOT a dream come true for all involved. Relinquishing a child, no matter how justified your friend may feel right now, is NEVER a reason to celebrate. Again, I STRONGLY suggest that everyone waits until after the baby is born. You have already said you would adopt if she still wanted that... but for now I would encourage her to look into all of the options and resources.

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Phoenix
"This is a dream come true for all parties." Not for the child's. The child's dream is to remain with his/her bio parents.

Reassure your friend that you'll help out and perhaps will consider adoption BUT don't do anything about it unless the child is born and the mother has the chance to see the child. Although she may think adoption is a good option now, she may change her mind upon seeing her baby. Its happened before. If she does, its better for the baby.

If you're still considering adoption, whether its your friend's child or someone else's, research adoption from the child's point of view.
The Primal Wound
20 Things Adoptive Kids Wished Their Adoptive Parents Knew
Adoption Healing, Joe Soll
Coming Home to Self

And try to find out what its REALLY like to be adopted. It is NOT a dream come true for the vast majority of adoptees.

If you still go through with it, draw up an open adoption contract and have all parties (except the baby, obviously, because the child never gets any options) sign it. It probably isnt legally enforceable, but if you care about the child and the child's family, you'll keep it.

Perhaps you could consider legal guardianship of the child instead of adoption. That way, you bring the kid up but they don't lose their roots completely.

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