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treasure
Why won't my husband divorce me even though he left marital home AND "is" having an affair for 2yrs!?
I want to work through our broken marriage to raise our small kids together. But, as you can imagine me knowing of his affair is overwhelming.

I don't think he will divorce me so I still have hope that we can work through this when he ends this other relationship.

When is it time to walk away from 15yr marriage from my husband I still love and father of our kids?



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Jazzmin27
Rating
You can not wait until he is done with the other relationship, you need to love him and flirt with him, and show him you can be his girlfriend and wife. Start dressing sexy, give him passionate sex. You can not bring your infidelity arguments, you either forgive him: work things, and never mention the affair again. The second option is to let him go, loose him, divorce him, and start a new life. You can not have both.

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mcoflygal1
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I know it is hard and you say this, however, when the truth comes down to it, if he does come back home it will take nothing more than an act of God to let you never to believe he won't do this again.

As far as the divorce maybe he went to a lawyer and found out what he would lose and I am talking financially. Like the old song says, "It's cheaper to keep her."

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Piltdown Man
Because it will cost him money. Cut out the middle man and institute divorce proceedings yourself.

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miriyaminshallah
I am afraid after two years he has no intention of coming home unless the other woman forces him to choose between divorcing you or being with her. I know this is hard reading, but he has too much to loose financially by divorcing.... his home, business financial security & respect of his children & that is why he has not done it. He has chosen where he wants to be& will stay there provided his partner is happy and content that he loves her- so a divorce paper is unimportant to her? If she loves him just as much as you.... she will wait it out, she loves him and has him at her side and he is happy and has lost nothing. If you were to talk of divorce or file.... that would be the only thing to make him re consider his position right now. What he stands to loose! He will most likely come running home like many married men. He will suddenly think straight for his finances. Im sorry this reads harsh but if you think he hasnt divorced because he wants a life with you... why hasnt he come home. If he truly wanted a divorce... he would have filed. He has the love of his life at his side. But he hasnt because of financial loss. He will get on with his new life as long as no one forces him to make a choice & she isnt.. is she? She is happy enough just to have him. The only way he will straighten up is divorce talk. Preferably before they share the committment of children together. If it is enough for you just to have him home regardless.... this is the only way he will take notice of you & his kids. Im sorry, I know this is awfully hard and very painful but I really am trying to help you and your children bring him home before more damage is done.

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its likely i will say douche bag
you asked,
"When is it time to walk away from 15yr marriage from my husband I still love and father of our kids?"

NOW

You said,
I want to work through our broken marriage to raise our small kids together. But, as you can imagine me knowing of his affair is overwhelming.

What are you teaching you children now? The relationship is broken.

You are teaching your children that this is how adults who love each other should treat one another. that's not a good lesson.

Move on and show them how a strong women takes care of her self and family.

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jude
Rating
2 yrs is a long time to be having an affair, but after being married to u 15 yrs it would cost him big time with child support and alimony. maybe his mistress is one of those who is married herself, or doesn't care. but after 2 yrs of waiting for someone to leave the other woman it doesn't seem worth the misery your going through.

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*LeT's GeT iT*
Rating
Stop playing the fool, gain some dignity if not for yourself, for your small children, and move the hell on! Stop putting your life on hold for someone who has cheated on you with someone else and still is cheating technically because you are still married to him.

File for divorce, take him down through there, and make a better life for you and your children. You cannot possibly want your children to deal with this type of turmoil daily.You are causing your children to suffer and not only that, you are showing them that its ok to cheat on their spouses.

Quite frankly, if he hasnt ended the affair to try to work on the marriage in 2 years, he is not trying to work on your marriage. I am sorry to say that.

Just cut your losses, take him for all he's got, and move on to someone who can love you and your children. Stop wasting your life on someone who didnt even care enough about you to even tell you he was no longer happy in the marriage.

Besides, let him be her problem. All he is going to do is cheat on her also with someone else. You cannot expect me to believe that if he cheated on you, his own wife, for someone else, that he wont do it to the woman he cheated on you with for some other piece of *** in the street.

Stop holding on to him and stop putting your life on hold waiting on him. Move on.

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j92cool
If he is not willing to end his affair and go to relationship therapy now sounds like a good time to walk away. Don't torture yourself any longer. Get on with your life and allow yourself to enjoy it without him.

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Bs Girl
Rating
He is having an affair, that in itself breaks you marriage vows. Don't let him continue to make you feel and look like a fool. Move on and get over him.

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Irish Sean
Rating
Why do you want to put your life on hold for him? He clearly doesn't want to be with you, why would you want to be with him?
It's your life, be proactive, not reactive. Contact a lawyer today and get the proceedings going. The quicker you are legally rid of this loser the quicker you can get on with your life.
There is most likely someone out there that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Good luck.

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chloe
Sometimes the best way to work through it IS to walk away and let Karma takes its course. If the mistress were to become the main woman in his life, that would take the fun out of trying to meet up with her all the time. There's no excitement in knowing the person will always be there. It's comforting but not exciting. Walk away, pull his comfort zone from underneath him. He'll get the ultimatum. The mistress - she'll get to become the one who gets cheated on. (LOL)

Karma is so cool.

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astutewoman
start dating others.. he is - why shouldn't you? Give him a taste of the same ' whats good for the goose" and watch how quick he flies back... men who KNOW you are just sitting in the wings, waiting - get turned off.. its like you come across as clingy and desperate... seriously.. even if you are not - and I understand you are probably not, you are just being real with your feelings and what you want for your life... wrong strategy -- don;t belive me? Its been 2 years and he is not back, right? If you do what you always do, you will always get the same result... mix it up... casually mention to him you are going on a date, then don;t bring it up.. act happier, cut him off first on the phone... act busy.. delay returning his calls...

If he strung you along this long, he is bound to wonder what is up... and that gets him thinking about you and perhaps panicking he may be losing you. if he feels you slipping away -- then you my friend, have turned the tables..

but be strong its too easy to reassure him if he panics, its too easy to hold out for hope right awya -- yoiu need to pull away in order for him to run to you... and do it for some time...otherwise, you need to let him go permanently and truly date others to move on...

either way - you are being owned by this guy right now... why? For your kids? What message are you sending your kids -- 'this is how you act like a doormat?".... think about it. you are stronger than you think.

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packard1963
Rating
Only you know when enough is enough, one would think its hit you by now. Im sorry for everything that's going on, but in my eyes he has given up on the marriage for 2 years now at least..
You can love him & hate him for whats he's don't to you and your family at the same time. Love is a feeling, hate a reaction to what he has done.
Right now he has the best of both worlds. No alimony payments & a mistress on the side & a wife home to take care of the kids.
Have him served with divorce papers asap, make him decide on what he does next its out of your hands.

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Lorraine
I do not believe that divorce is the better option. i understand you do love him, many people go through this, but i think only God can restore your marriage and change him.
Pray for him, pray a lot it will take some time, but he could change. I have read and seen many testimonies of even worse situations then yours, I God's eyes, EVERYTHING is possible.
The modern time everybody is up for divorce, that is not the way it should be.

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lorisam7879
I hate to be blunt but the only reason he's not divorced you yet is to avoid paying child support and/or alimony payments. If he divorces you, he'll be ordered to pay and he doesn't want that.
Unfortunately, if he's been gone for 2 years and is with another woman its not likely he's coming back. And although I know how much that hurts, from personal experience, you do not need that around you or your kids. Its best for you to start the divorce process. If he fights it, you can still get it finalized if you use a lawyer.

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Cher
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When~yesterday!
Move on~ once a cheat~always a cheat~!

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♫ Mad Luv ♫
Rating
when is it time to walk away from 13 years of marriage and 2 years of disrespect!
i guess when you have enough respect for youself to stand up for yourself!
no one should live life with someone on the side! i know you love him you always will! i mean he is the father of your kids!
but look what your teaching your children!
- it's okay to be cheated on

grant you some will say working on it is good! but 2 YEARS i call that the fool!
sorry!

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MummaKins
He wants to keep you on a lil yo-yo so if/when everything in his "new life" goes belly up (which it no doubt will) he can come back to you and pick up where he left off!

It's time NOW.

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Mike
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Because it's cheaper to keep you...and have a woman on the side.

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blueberry
there's nothing to save start yourself filing for divorce

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