When you get married, are the in-laws part of the deal?

Show all answers

Post your answer

regerugged	Have you heard the old saying: "You can choose your friends, but you cannot choose your relatives." Sounds like you are living proof that the saying is true. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

twentythree	yes, they are, make the best out of it, they are there as long as he is Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

zaki1968	Yes. They made him the man you love, don't forget, he wouldn't be there if not for them. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

dappersmom	yes to a certain extent, but that doesn't mean you have to take crap from them or spend time with them if you don't get along with them. how does he feel about it? just set the ground rules right upfront. i don't think being married means you suddenly have to take crap from anyone. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

drpearce124	It is said that when you marry, you marry the family...we don't always love everthing about our own families, so it will be no different with your in-laws. It will be as good as you let it. As close as you allow, and as hard as you make it. Unfortunately, it is the way life goes. That is why you must always check out the family before making life changing decisions. Sometimes the love you have for your mate is enough to put up with the miserable inlaws. But remember, it is only as bad as you allow it. It can also be better than your own family as well. Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sparkling_apple	Pretty much, yes! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

gaygothdude04	unfortunately yes Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jodie	Oh, baby does it. As much as you love someone and they love you their family will influence your marriage and effect your offspring. You have to decide if there is an issue with them whether or not you are going to harbor resentments and there will always be issues. You are not just marrying the person but the entire family. You are smart to address this matter before the wedding. Good luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Gypsy	Of course. If you don't like them, convince your sweety to move to another state. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mysterious101	All the time. But it depends who is closer to what family. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

BonesofaTeacher	Yes, absolutely you are, even if they're not speaking right now. THose relationships are permanent (your mom is always your mom no matter what else happens even if she dies she's still yr mom). If there's a conflict, your spouse will feel torn between you and his family. Don't expect the spouse to always choose you. Family is important. THey come with the person forever. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

DawnsEarlyLight	yes Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

babygirl	yup for the rest of the marriage. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

redpeach_mi	uh, yeah. you are now part of his family as much as he is now a part of yours. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Brooklyn Girl	sad to say YES Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Fairy Codswallop	Yep that's right. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jayce's mommy	uhhh yea Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

grandm	You bet! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

greeneyedevil	yep Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

hiheaven5	A marriage is a union of families. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

BECKER	most definitley Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

B	yes but have boundry always with them, so you don't deal with them all the time. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

JeffyB	Oh yeah. It's a package deal, so beware, especially if... a) you don't like them b) he does Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Nightwriter21	Yep, and he's stuck with yours, too. And it may not just be father and mother, but uncles, brothers, sisters, cousins, shirt-tail relatives, and every kind of kin who wants to show up in your life. Scary, isn't it? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

xtal6872	unfortunately, in most cases yes. my fiance has very little or nothing to do with his family. and thank god. theyre all nuts and i cant stand them. i tried to keep my distance from at first, but he gave me such hell and later apologized because he saw how crazy they all are. it just sucks because his grandma is a saint, but they use her and keep her all to themselves. its going to suck when she passes (shes 82) because then hes really going to lose it them. they try to alienate him even before i came along. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

PavithraIndran	Of course!!!! thats the difference between marriage and a live in relationship ! the only way to make sure your life is happy is to make sure you keep your inlaws happy... its a win win situation... even if you dont like your in laws just be nice to them... put on a fake smile ... life will be a lot better... if you harbor feelings of hatred... it'll only become worse... being fake is better than being unhappy atleast ! But if they intrude too much , just politely but very firmly tell them that you can take care of the issue yourself... drop subtle hints... they'll get the point... but before doing any of those... try to stand in their shoes and see their point of view as well... afterall they are human too and love your husband just like you do...if you start early... it'll be a smooth transition for both you and your in laws... mom in laws and dad in laws tend to be possessive because they feel that they know their son better... and suddenly having a new woman to share their son with is quite a blow for most parents... so be patient and also very firm... when you need your privacy and space to take care of your own family issues just between the two of you just tell them so firmly... if you are all sweet and nice in the beginning and change the way you react towards them as days pass by ... its going to hurt them bad... if you hurt them , life is going to be difficult for you as your husband isnt going to appreciate it too much... so, the key is to be affirmative... you need to make sure they take you seriously and understand that you mean business. but before anything else... just try to get along with them... if you do, its great :) you wont have any problems at all :) Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

lillyshamshom	i think so Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Dr Dee	Yep. It comes with the combo, when you buy the deal. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

chicawhappa-the-great	Unfortunately, yes. That could also become "fortunately" if you: - have a little bit of luck and don't get lots of insecure meanies - try from your side to accept the family and their role in hubby's life EDIT: having a decent in-law family can be amazing when you need help or just want to share stuff / have that "family feeling" when away from your own family. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mikejohnsummers	no - you married him not his family Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

fun_guy_otown	Obviously you have problems with in-laws intruding into your relationship. How does your spouse feel about this? More to the point of answering your question ... yes and no. You are, as you say, 'stuck' with them in the sense that they are your legal in-laws. However, that doesn't give them legal status within your relationship as regards the laws of marriage. This being true, you will have to acknowledge them as the in-laws but you can prevent them from having active participation in your marriage if your spouse agrees and you have the back bone to take a stand on the issue. Good Luck!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No