What's going on with my wife?

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a_lot_smarter_now	Sit her down for a lengthy conversation about what YOU want out of the marriage, and what SHE wants out of the marriage. Let her know that some of her activities lately really disturb you, and that "you feel you are headed down different paths". If she cares, she'll listen, and change a little. But if someone has her attention, she'll just continue down the same road until YOU make a decision for yourself that it's not acceptable. She could be at a crossroads that every woman gets to when their in their mid twenties to early thirties....where you begin wondering if you're really happy where you are, if you made the right "life" chioces and what do I do from here. If it's just the normal course of life...she'll snap out of it. If she's messing around, she might not. Either way, you have to think of yourself, because she might not. Do what's right for you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Beckie	If she'd rather spend more time out with her friends than at home with you, that should tell you a lot. It's not really possible to be in love with someone and not want to spend time with them. I think you are travelling down different paths....hers is lined with confetti and empty beer cans and yours has you tripping over toys. These two paths don't mesh well. I suggest that if you sincerely want kids, you might consider moving on. Doesn't sound like she will ever want them... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

<3.love.tennis.	it's really ur decision and u shouldnt let ppl drag u into 2 thinking something. but my advice is tell her how u feel. seriously, sit down and talk. she may be a little offended at first but the more she ponders it, she'll realize wat she's missing by letting her relationship go like it is. if she doesnt or gets extremely mad or upset, she's not "the one" and it's time to move on. 2 have a relationship, both ppl have 2 understand each other and respect the others' values. good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

xxb7crazieechickxx	well if you really feel like you dont have much in common and are at different stages in life then maybe you should talk to her about it? talking it out and telling her what you mention in your question above might help. maybe discuss a separation and see what happens you dont want this to continue if your really not happy Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

angel	Tell her she needs to make her mind up, that she sould have gotten her being like a teenager out before you two got married, and if she talks about this other guy alot then maybe shes into him because hes partying with her. Tell her that your willing to give her space until she knows what she wants. Tell that when you two got married you thought it was to each other and not to everyone that just wanted to have fun.Being married doesn't mean you can't have fun, but it's supposed to be on both parts and not someone feeling left behind,, maybe you should try and go with her and see how it is for both of you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

k&el p	2 things come to mind. first, does she not want you to join her? if the answer is yes, coupled with the "unrealistic" comment about marriage tells me you should put her stuff on the front lawn. if she doesn't care if you join her, and you just don't want to, you need to give a little more. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

gravytrain036	Many marriages end because of LACK OF COMMUNICATION... and by asking us this question, you are really defeating the purpose of communicating with your wife. I see that you've tried to talk to her about it, but from the responses that you are getting it seems she is brushing you off. You guys need to sit down where it is quiet and have a S-E-R-I-O-U-S talk. There is certaintly something causing this behavior (I guess it is fear of commitment to one person), but she needs to tell you the honest truth. And even take a look at yourself, has she changed as much as you claim... maybe you changed. When you guys talk this should all come out. And maybe she isn't the one for you. But there's only one way to find out. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

TJ J	You need to put her in her place. Start going out yourself. meet some women friends and make sure your wife knows about them. or you can try going out with your wife. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Zoila	You should talk to her about it some more, and tell her how you feel, maybe she doesnt realize, and since it was ok for her to "party" before, she might not think you have a problem with it now. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Kerri L	Question this "one guy friend". I say this because I was your wife...I was in a very serious relationship for 5 years..on the last year of that relationship I started sleeping with that "one guy friend", partying all the time and not coming home and etc. Guy friends are very possible and it could be nothing I have MANY guy friend whom I would never sleep with, however this one and me had that chemisty and I threw away a great guy for it......sorry don't mean to make it sound bad....but it just sounds really familiar. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Princess	If this was me, i would like it if my husband talked about it to me. If she does love you, tell her ur worried about you both and want to seek councelling, left she could do for u right now is spend time on that. Good luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jenny84	Wow, are you talking about me? LOL jk but it sounds like she's telling the truth that she just wants to have fun. You need to make an effort to go out and live it up with her. If you go out with her and have as good a time as she does, she'll be even crazier about you! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

spaznskitz	why is it she can't have fun in the "big city" with you by her side?? something if fishy here...in my opinion. I suggest you suggest marriage counseling, to help the two of you communicate because you aren't doing very well on your own...if she refuses...then she isn't very commited to your marriage & I'd suggest you consider divorce & finding someone who has the same life outlook as you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

buggy	i think she is going on with her life without you with her but she still wants the comfort your there at the end tell her it bothers you and see what gos from there Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Addie	Your wife is the best person to answer this question for you. Let her know that you feel uncomfortable with the amount of information she confides in her guy friend. It would also be good to let her know that when she says "marriage is unrealistic" and she's "not sure about kids" that it makes you question her commitment to you. I find that being open and honest with my spouse really bridges the gaps we have with personality differences and value conflicts. Talk about things in the frame of reference of how her actions affect you rather than suggesting she's at fault. Talking about how you feel and how you are affected will keep her calm and off the defensive. I would also suggest asking if you can come along to some of her outings mentioning that you miss how much time you spent together in the past. Making a sacrifice for her will show her that you are willing to meet her in the middle. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Anna O	I know that sort of situtation is tough when 2 people enjoy different things especially when it can be hamful tro a marriage. First do try and go out with her and be apart of it even if you don't like it, just once in a while enough to make your presence and love for her known to her friends, plus it can be fun. Also pick an adventure you can both do together and tell her even if she doesn't want to you are making a sacrifice by doing things that you wouldn't normally do either. Try to pick something you would both like, like going to wine tastings, or baseball games, or biking in the park, or kayaking. Something different and something fun you can both share together. This will help you rekindle the romance and passion in the marriage. It is important to have at least 1 special thing you both love doing together and being apart of every aspect of each others lives. Don't give up just get closer to her and don't let her slip away. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cappy	Dude, the writings on the wall. Confront her on the issue and get a lawyer and let him put it to rest. Maybe you can make a clean break. Good Luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

marina :3	maybe she touched her inner teen?? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

M S	Go with her when she is going out to party. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Brandy	Sounds like your wife is the one with the seven-year itch. If you don't watch, she'll be getting scratched soon. If you've had several conversations about it already and the behavior hasn't improved but has in fact worsened, ask her to seek a marriage counselor with you. If she refuses, still insisting that marriage is "unrealistic" that means you've already lost her and she eventually will ask for a divorce. I'm really sorry. Hopefully she'll say yes to the counselor. Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Tian	oh boy. well first u must pray and then seek counseling. i heard in theology class. that when you marry a person u must be prepared to marry all the people they will become. because you know people change. So you might want to join her on this journey. Good luck to you man. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mk2004	hmmm, I would say talk with her and maybe go see a marriage/couples counselor. If you're up for that. Goodluck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Heidi F	marriage counseling, don't wait till it's to late to decide to ask a professional for help! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Dino	Don't ignore you're gut feeling on this one. She is either about to cheat, or is cheating. I say that because this all sounds very familiar. Those were the kind of things my ex started saying and doing. Five years later I learned that she had been involved in an affair for the last four of them. Ask the hard question, and push for honesty. If she says she's not and you believe her, then you have to let her know how what she is saying and doing is effecting you. It sounds like it's time for marriage counseling. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

start 6-22-06 summer time Mom	what you BOTH should do is go for some marriage counseling , sounds like she's up to something OR just unhappy about your marriage . Get to the bottom of the problem & fix it . Good luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Munya Says: DUH!	"7 year itch".... you both need marriage counselling Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

David	Dude, smell the roses, she got one foot out the door! She's only buying time till it's the right time to say it. You want it to work, get counseling! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

bamak93	Tell her exactly what you wrote. Tell her you are concerned about your relationship and that you would like to spend time with her on (insert date here). Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Just_Me	tell her everything u told us here! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jeb black	ask her, not yahoo answers. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

fizzygurrl1980	Ever heard of the 7-year-itch? That's what it sounds like your wife has. I know you're probably thinking the worst- she's having an affair, she wants a divorce, etc.- but unless you have any concrete proof of that,I wouldn't jump to conclusions. She is probably just having a bit of an identity crisis. I am guessing you're both still quite young- early thirties, maybe, which would mean you got married in your early to mid-twenties. She has probably spent so much of her adult life identifying herself through her relationship with you, first as your girlfriend and then as your wife, that she maybe didn't get a chance to really discover who she is. Now her biological clock is starting to tick, and you can bet nosy people are asking her when you're going to start having kids, because people are always asking stupid questions like that to women in their late twenties-early thirties, trust me- and she's probably getting all panicky like, wait, is this it? It's not you- you have to believe that it is not you that is making her feel this way. She just probably feels too young to pack it in and succumb to existence in suburbia with a minivan full of kids. She wants to be able to look back at her young adult life and have fun stories and memories. Just be prepared for her to start coming home with bizarre ideas and hobbies, on her path of self-discovery. So far, my long-term partner (it sounds gay, but he's a guy- we're just not married, but we are committed to a life partnership deal.) has had to deal with me quitting my job unexpectedly, impulsively getting a bulldog, toying with the idea of opening my own restaurant, and moving a piano into the apartment so I can take lessons. In return, I've had to deal with him shutting himself in our spare room and writing a novel, skydiving, taking motorcycle lessons and buying a crotch rocket, and investing money in companies that make fuel out of corn. My point is, when you meet each other young, you must expect that you're going to grow in the relationship, and you have to anticipate these changing interests and flights of fancy. As long as you don't find any concrete proof that she's cheating, just be supportive of her and try to understand what she's going through as a woman in a society that expects certain things from us at a certain age. Thanks, and good luck to you both. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No