
Tristan S
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you did the right thing. I was in a similar situation a year ago. My fiancee broke up with me one month before our wedding. I was Pretty upset, but looking back it was best to cut off communications completely. it's just easier to let go of things and move on that way
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wenwen
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YOU NEEDED CLOSURE TO MOVE ON.. BUT EVEN IF YOU CAN'T RECEIVE HIS RETURN EMAIL AT LEAST HE KNOWS HOW YOU FEEL.. AND YOU NEVER KNOW MAYBE YOUR PATHS WILL CROSS AGAIN..
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smiley_face_boxers
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No, that was probably what you needed to get off of your mind and reach that final hurdle of breaking up.
3 years is a LONG time, and a large portian of your life, so I can understand you needing to voice your feelings.
Who knows if he got the e-mail, but if he can't contact you back by phone or e-mail, you'll never know what he thought of it.
I'd think you're safe on the con-o-worms not being opened, but if you were hurt badly, then you make the calls for future contact or not with him.
It sounds like you are still healing after only a month. You'll be fine. Get out and do some of your favorite things, that you missed out on in those 3 years. :)
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monizk
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you opend a can of worms i would think he is thinking that you want him back by sending that email even though its obviouse you want closure the way its sounds is it could be taken both ways but of course if he cant get ahold of you no harm done
good job
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georgiegirl
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I think it is better for you in the terms that at least now you don't have all those feelings bottled up inside of you. That is not healthy to keep things locked up inside
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mt75689
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Don't worry about it.
The only can of worms that you may have opened was saying that you'll always think about him and miss him. In a guys mind that translates into --- there's still a chance. Even so, you conducted yourself with maturity and class. You said what you had to say and then you closed the door. Now don't look back.
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Carol T
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Getting it off your chest is the right thing. For all you know, he might see the email is from you without even openning it and delete it. Stop worrying. We all have those moments when we need closure. Let it be as it is, an end to one chapter and now, I want you to turn the page and begin living the next chapter of your life.
Many Blessings...
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Sunshyne
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Why are you worried about what your friends will say? You did what you wanted to do and that should be all that matters! If they are true friends they will be there no matter what you decided to do! You told him some things that you wanted him to know and he can't contact you. So all should be good unless you want him back.
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Lost
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Yes because you did not end it on bad terms and you should feel good becuase know you still have a friend even though most men read this wrong don't worry about it hey in the end it all worked out and if you need to clearify it but you let him know that your choice was good so I do not think you should worry about it.
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Ramona
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no it wasnt stupid but he may feel compelled to contact you back. if you are at peace with it good. if it really was very bad then you are right to be out of it. the comfort of familiarity is hard to let go of but they will go away eventually. that is probably what you miss, and not him.
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Kitty
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No, you're fine, it wasn't stupid, it was a good thing to do.
I too wrote my then-soon-to-be-ex a letter when we were getting divorced. I actually saved it on my computer, and years later I stumbled across it and re-read it. Even though it was written at the time when I was hurting a lot, I realized that most things I put down on paper still stood true. For the record, my ex and I are now past all of that, and are on good terms, 7 years after the divorce. I am re-married.
I think you did the right thing for the right reasons. It would be stupid of you to send this e-mail and then sit by the phone nervously waiting for him to call back - harboring the hope that he will come back and everything's gonna be "ok". But it sounds like you're ready to move on. You're doing great. Good luck.
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darkdiva
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I don't know if it was the "right thing," but it was certainly understandable. A lot of times the heat of passion intimidates some people and they do not get to express what they really feel. If that lack of expression is keeping you from moving on, you should get it off your chest if you send it, okay or if you just throw it away, also okay. A lot of people should use the method to get beyond grief. I wrote both my parents, and a man who broke my soul. I don't know if it was the "right thing" but I felt a whole lot better.
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love_inc2000
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Very cowardly act i'd say.
*walks away in disgust
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kim h
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It made you feel better. That is what is important.
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Jason
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It would have been better not to send it but, it wasn't entirely stupid.
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lilly l
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And if you r not at peace with your choice ...what then ? Did he realize you loved him ? Did you tell him ? Would he ever get the message ? Time flys and people change thier minds and some pre-plan for a eventful future ... Sometimes the timing is off and TIME does have a way of sorting out events .... If the worms needed fed they need to before they die .... You cannot take back things that are negative but you can relive what you left unsaid ... And if it was worth saying you need to say it ... That can of worms could be the beginning of a great fishing trip that last a lifetime...Do not ever rely on someone eles word ...but trust whats on someones lips and those words you hear from thier lips and the softness of thier voice.... .
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honestspeaking
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It doesn't matter what your friends think. If that's what you had to do to close that chapter of your life and move on and your fine with it then nothing matters. Good for you!
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Kc
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If you don't want him back, then there's no beating yourself up about it. What's done is done.
You felt you had to do it.
It made you feel better.
You needed closure, End of story.
He can't contact you and you don't want him to.
Move on. And don't look back.
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STROMBOLI-KRAKATOA JR
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Get on with Life you will thank me later...
life goes on... focus on yourself!!!!!!
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Sweetpea
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If you wanted to say those things than no you didnt make a mistake, the mistake would of been not to say anything, you would of regretted it and held on, now you have closer and you got somethings off your chest, good for you.
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Like My New Hat?
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You did NOT do the right thing. It has been 3 months and it doesn't sound like you have moved on at all. If you were honestly at peace with everything, you wouldn't have had to write that letter, you could have just moved on with your life. If you wrote that letter to me I'd find a way to contact you and give you a harsh piece of my mind. And it sounds like he is a terrible person, not a nice guy like me. It looks like childish as well because you are doing whatever you can to get the last word. And if you do something you can't tell other people about, it probably isn't the right thing to do.
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nurse ratchet
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No, you should "let sleeping dogs lie." When you did that, you most likely gave him the satisfaction to know that he has moved on, but you can't quit thinking about him.
When it's over, it's over. Walk away, and have some pride. Never look back, always look forward. Mr. Right is out there somewhere. You can't find him if you are always looking to the past.
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physiquesorlando
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I know you didn't mean it but that's really sort of an emotional hit and run. He doesn't get to express HIMSELF but you expressed yourself.
This is just my opinion, but if someone I had been with for a long time did that to me, it would feel like they just had to get the last word in.
Again, this is just how I would take it so it's just personal opinion. I'm in no way suggesting you're a bad person btw. Situations like this are stressful and we all tend to do things we regret when we're emotionally stressed out.
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TIM S
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sound like you just put it off on him to make yourself feel better, its been three years,you should have moved on,now he has to relive this and can't even respond,not cool,you should have meet him somewhere and said it face to face,you can't get closure by dropping it on him and running.
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Fireball226
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its over so there was no point really..
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Chris B
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No...a healthier thing to do would have been to get it out on paper and let it alone. If, a month from now, you still felt you had to send it, that's fine but why hurt someone with your words and not give them equal time? That smacks of being vindictive and having to speak the last word! Not nice.
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American Beauty
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Understand that most men don't really read these emails. They may skim over the message, but it doesn't mean a heck of alot. They usually don't feel as deeply as women do. Neither do they spend alot of time pouting over past hurts. If you felt the need to express your feelings, so be it. Now it's time to move on. Next time, instead of sending messages that nobody reads, talk to your man face-to-face. Find the courage to do that. It's the one thing men try to avoid--confrontation.
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Maalru3
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Don't know thatI'd say it was "stupid" however, if it was only a month ago, things still haven't settled, you haven't given yourself a chance to move on, and you are probubly just missing the familiarity of being in a relationship. If he wants to, he will find you to get ahold of you. I don't know how bad it was twards the end, or the reason you split, but keep in mind, people don't just change. You have to decide if you want it truely over. what is right and wrong. Expressing your feelings after the fact and only a month later, gaurantee if you talked to him, it would end bad again. Peole don't just change. YOu need to give yourself a chance to move on, we all have gone through this and there are always things left usaid. Ask yourself why you truely wrote him, and you will probuly find that you either miss the dramma, you want him to feel bad about being apart, you aren't over him, etc...
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rorybuns
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Well I think it was totally okay to share your feelings, but it's really unfair that you blocked him after that. Why should he have to deal with your emotions if he can't share his back?
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Elizabeth
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It sounds like you wanted to send it all along, and you wanted to make sure you got the last word by blocking his email and changing your number. You probably wanted to get back at him for saying those horrible things to you last month and make him feel guilty. It's natural. You probably aren't over it yet.
The only way you're going to get past this is to stop obsessing. You're done. It's over. There's nothing more to hash out or argue over and you obviously don't want him contacting you so do not contact him again.
Next time, if you want to "get your feelings down" then take a notebook and write them down on paper. Then put the notebook away.
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KittyKitty
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Sounds exactly like what I would do too. I can never tell if it is the right thing or not BUT it made you feel better to tell him somethings that were mind and that is ALL that matters!
EDIT: I see a lot of good answers with a lot of thumbs down. I think you did the right thing it made you feel better and thats what you needed. Screw these other people they haven't been there and they don't know.
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