Should I forgive my spouse who had an affair during our separation?

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sidekick	If he treats you good when you were together, and had no affairs, and treats the kids good, than a second chance is warranted, but the problems at home need to be fixed mabbe counseling, and you both were separated when he had the affair, so really it is not cheating so say.......both of you ever get the time to be alone and just talk together about how to fix whats going on between you two? Good luck, God Bless. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

E Y	The question you have to ask yourself is "is this the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with? Do I love this person?" Not to excuse the behavior, but perhaps your spouse didn't think things would work out after the separation. The fact that your spouse wants to get back together with you is a good sign. Don't throw out a relationship and the chance to be with someone you love without truly deciding if it is the right thing to do. Best wishes. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

totallylost	Counseling is needed here, but as far as his affair, yes, I believe you have to forgive that. He should not have jump into the first bed that he came across, but he was trying to move on with his life. Maybe this was his wake call, that he now truly knows what he wants..and that's to be with you and the kids...I would move slowly..I just wouldn't let him move right back in. Date first, get to know one another again..it might work and it could be that find out that it's just not happening for either one of you. Someone suggested that he be tested, and I think that is a very wise thing to do. If he has a problem with that, then honey, you definitely don't need him. He should offer to go....Marriage counseling would be a great help to both of you, but if you can't afford it, maybe you can talk to your Pastor and he could help you set up some kind-of-a therphy for you. I pray things work out for you, but sometimes marriages just don't work, so then you have learn to live without the spouse. But, with small kids you will be dealing with this man for the rest of your life, so you need to be able to talk to each other, and solve problems together that deal with the kids. Be comfortable at least around one another for everyone's sanity. Best of luck to you.... God bless us all..... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Kitty	He had a relationship with another woman whilst you were separated. What is to forgive? You obviously weren't making him happy or there would have been no separation in the first place. He is probably feeling guilty about the children but as he left you and fell for someone else, he's hardly wildly in love with you is he? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

?	It may hurt but you 2 were seperated...so try to forgive and forget Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Prince	give her a chance and tell her clearly to decide what she wants. the children will really suffer if u guys are separated. u should try once, if its not working then try again. Make divorce ur last option but divorce can also be a good solution in some situations. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

anu_dew2000	NO, NO NO NO. If your spouse had an affair with someone else once, your spouse can sure as hell do it again. I know it will be difficult, especially because you have two young children, but if you separate now that'll be the best for everyone. That'll even be better for the children, because they wouldn't have to deal with the marital issues. Just dump your spouse and move on, it's the best thing you can do for yourself and your family ^_^ Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Gran Gran	Heck no. Once he fooled around even though you two were separated he blew it. If you take him back you will be sleeping with that person he cheated with. Her bacteria is now ingrained in his body. I feel bad for you because you have two kids but you really can't trust him. He is playing on your feelings. I believe he will do this again. Move home with your parents and give your kids an intact family. Hold off on your love life until they are grown and on their own because they need your undivided attention. Good luck! G.G. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Grin Reeper	yes exactly ... you were seperated what did you expect to happen Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

-J	You were on a break!!!... Seriously, though, I don't even consider this a moment of indiscretion. You were separated, how can this be an affair? Semantics aside, it sounds like you were hurt a bit due to the fact that he did have physical relations with someone while you were separated. If you don't think you can get past it, then move on. If it is something you both want to work to get past then do it, but it will be work. You will have to work to forgive him due to your point of view. He may view that he didn't really do anything wrong, due to the fact that you were both separated. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Eva Daniel Rn	depends on what the term is seperation means to you guys. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

¤§wεε†¤β£οnδ¤ρξRK¥¤	His cheating is something he stands accountable for because you guys are still married.. regardless to "separation" You should forgive the past but not be a doormat. I would say you need to fix what ya have but under the right reasons for the good of the family unit. and stop messing around because of because of meager excuses people like to make up in order to hide fear of money issues and infidelity and stuff. there is a reason these things happen it is both of your faults for letting it get this far. my opinion Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Monkey Man	Well...if you didn't want him to have relationships with other women...you shouldn't have seperated....and maybe you should have had an affair with a guy just to get some stuff out of your system... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jehovah'sWetness	you were separated. it's technically not cheating. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

brinlarrr	He didn't have an affair you were separated. He had a relationship with someone else, because when he moved out he no longer had an obligation to be faith full to you. You need to find out why he found your marriage was lacking, see if you are able and willing to change to fix the problem. If you just want to punish him for not liking the way you treated him then didn't bother, it is dead in the water anyway. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

♥bentworth78♥®	Na, Kick the scum to the curb Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

proffalken1975	Find out why obviously something is missing in the marriage. Try and find out what is missing and work it out if possible. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Mike	depends. if you were seperated with the intent of just taking some time to clear your heads and then work things out....then no. If, on the other hand, you were seperated with the intent of getting divorced, then it wasn't cheating. Whatever you decide, good luck... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

i love my son	if you were separated then let it go Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

ophelia	If you still love him and and wish to reconcile, then yes you should forgive him. He may just consider the "affair" the greatest mistake of his life and perhaps he was grasping at chances to heal the pain from your separation. At the same time, I can offer you a cautionary tale because my husband did the same thing. Initially, we were so blissful at having reconciled that this other woman didn't seem to matter. And I can't say that I ever threw it in his face but I did sometimes express my curiosities. Where did she live? Did he meet her children? etc? You must seriously ponder whether he will still have your forgiveness even after the bliss of reconciliation has worn off. Best wishes to you and your family. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Shanny13	yes. when people separate most guys think it's OK to do that kind of thing because there mad and want to get back at you for some dumb reason. also, if he told you he did than you should for sure. you can get back at him somehow. if he didn't then...... maybe you should talk things over (like people) if you really love him and he loves you things will work out. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Pennywise	Sure if it was a mutual seperation I say let bygones be bygones. I suggest you both come clean with EVERYTHING you did during the seperation so you will only have to go through the pain of dealing with it once. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

CARLENE R	I HOPE I CAN SHED SOME LIGHT ON THIS SUBJECT FOR YOU. I BELIEVE THAT WHEN PEOPLE HAVE ARGUMENTS AND PEOPLE DON'T SEE EYE TO EYE AND GET MAD AS WELL AS HURT,THEY DO THINGS THEY DON'T NORMALLY DO. MAYBE HE WAS VERY HURT AND THOUGHT THERE WAS NO HOPE AT THAT TIME. PEOPLE WHEN EMOTIONS ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE,THEY LOOK FOR COMFORT THEY ARE NOT GETTING AND THINGS COULD HAVE JUST GOT OUT OF HAND. IF THIS ISN'T A NORMAL BEHAVIOR,THAT COULD BE JUST WHAT HAPPENED. WE HAVE ALL LOST OUR WAY AT TIMES AND DO STUPID THINGS AND DON'T KNOW HOW WE LET THAT HAPPEN AND THE PERSON THAT DID THIS COULD HAVE FELT UNWANTED AND SOME PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF VULNERABLE PEOPLE AND USE THAT SITUATION TO FILL THEIR NEEDS,SAD BUT IT HAPPENS. AND REAL LOVE DOESN'T COME ALONG EVERYDAY . AND IF YOU FIND IT IN THIS CRAZY WORLD HOLD ON FOR DEAR LIFE. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

meana	yes you should forgive . Jesus forgives you for your sins. You see if you don't forgive ,the other person still has the power. BUT WHEN YOU FORGIVE ,YOU HAVE THE POWER. ME PERSONALLY, I WOULD FORGIVE ,BUT I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TRUST HIM AGAIN. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Stanley U	Yes of course. Sometimes we never value what we have until someone else wants it. Now that I think both of you have realised your mistake, its time you forgot about the minor sins and and get together again. After all someone was there before you even met yourselves the first ime . Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jp shahani	hi, if ur spouse is separated from you than he/she has full rights to try it with someone else, , and you should actually not mind it even, becuz it was in your absence. and if you too wanna be together after this then it means you really love each other a lot, so forgive your spouse and lead and start a new chapter Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

K S	as a divorce lawyer, i encourage you to consider forgiveness if your spouse's actions match her words. Forgiveness is powerful and you are no fool for thinking about that. The easiest thing is to cut and run. Forgiveness is much harder...but can be well worth it. However, if your spouse violates this trust after forgiveness then you have a right to end the relationship. Bottom line, your kids welfare should come before you or your spouse. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

-Tequila9+	You say you were separated...should be self explanatory....unless you had some kind of agreement....shouldn't be a matter of forgiving him, in my eyes anyway, as he did nothing wrong. And how did you find out about this anyway? Did he throw it in your face? If he did I would give very serious thought to moving on. Peace. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

none	I would leave her alone and for you to move on and meet other women.its is not easy when kids are involve but you need to be there for them and give them all the love that they need. Try to be friend with your ex will be a good thing cause you can communicate better about everything concerning your kids. I know it is hurting you to be separated from your kids and i truly understand your feeling about it but you need to move on,be strong and happy.good luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

rod n	HELL NO!!!! If you are going to....make it only for the kids. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

vince25_98	if its a he... he just nailed her -> ok he fell in love -> dump him if its a she she just nailed him -> dump her she fell in love -> dump her (chances are she slept with him) Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No