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HeidiCode	maybe since you have been married to him for 16 years you should already realize that he waits for you. You said that it was 2 weeks without sex ... then you let the days go by just like he did ... so your being as passive as he is about your sex life. I think you two should talk ... find out if maybe he is having sex issues or if you are being paranoid. Try taking control in the bedroom for a while and see if that is what he has been waiting for. Good Luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

shdwtalker2002	I think saying "I shouldn't have to tell him" is playing silly games rather than living in the real world. Wouldn't it be nice if everybody just naturally behaved in the way YOU think they SHOULD? Well, that's not how things are. So stop with the "should" and communicate! Your "shoulding" is a factor of you being too emotionally lazy to be assertive. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

crazylegs	Personally my opinion would be that the easiest way to resolve this would be for the two of you to have a good sit down and conversation about what it is that is missing and/or needed to improve things in this area. Each of you silently awaiting the other to make the first move can make for a lot of lonely nights, as you have explained. Lets face the facts, after 16 years of marriage the majority of us are pretty comfortable in the relationship and at times begin to take things for granted. The honeymoon stage has long passed and we actually think we know what the other is thinking. Well this is not so, as you have described as if things are not discussed then there is no way we are aware of what is lacking. If necessary you two may even be wise to seek the assistance of a sex therapist who may help rejuvenate the affection etc. in your love life. But personally I believe that this could honestly be settled by having a honest and open minded discussion between two people who obviously are still in love if they are together for this long. Best of luck and congrats also for 16 years of marriage. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

castillo5247	It's good that you are still wodering what your husband want & what is good for both of you. If he prefers you being the one that takes the initiative then so be it, if you like doing it then it's a perfect match. You may have been the one that was in charge of that & you never even noticed till now. There is also a small posibility that there was a point in ur relationship that he was the one that tried & didn't get what he wanted so he made a consious desicion to let you be the one making that choice so that he dosent feel bad when he got regected( we sometimes forget small details ) The next time he makes a move on you tell him how mnuch you love it when he does that. He'll probably start making the first move more often. Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

javelin	I find sex is much better when my wife initiates. Why? Because then I know she is really into it. She really wants it. She is usually already worked up. Less work for me and she seems to enjoy it more. Men are now trained that not all affection leads to sex, but to us nearly any touch is sexual, so for us to initiate and then be possibly turned down is bad. If my wife initiates, I have to be in pretty bad shape to turn her down. This is a common problem, and once you learn to just go with the flow, you will worry less about who starts what. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

joey322	too funny!!! i have the opposite problem with my husband...he gropes me practically every moment of the day asking for "afternoon delight". he cracks me up! the thing is, sometimes i get sick of his advances b/c it makes me feel like that's all i'm good for. i know this isn't true, but sometimes our feelings are different from our cognitive knowledge. so, what i have to do is remind him that i am good for more than humping and maybe he could tone it down a little. see, the key is to COMMUNICATE!!! i know, we women just wish our husbands could read our minds, but unfortunately, they ARE the dumber gender :) and they need us to spell it out for them! so, tell him that it makes you feel really sexy for him to come onto you. tell him that seeing that aggresiveness is a big turn on and you'd love to see it more often! maybe if you spin it right it'll get his motor runnin and he'll realize he needs to step up. if that doesn't work, then try asking him why he doesn't initiate it. maybe he has some self confidence issues to work on or rejection issues. i hope he struts his stuff for ya soon! take care. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Who Dat Chic!!	I think you should talk to him about. Let him know it is okay for him to initiate contact...some men feel if we don't say or do anything, then that means we don't want it, at that time. However, if you initiate the contact, this may turn him on more!!! You can try all types of things to let him know it is getting ready to go down!! Alot of men like their woman to be aggressive in the bedroom. I think once you talk to him, he will understand. Good luck!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Country Girl	My husband is the same way but I think it is a blessing. No excuses like im too tired or i have a headache. If I dont want to then I dont initiate it. If you want him to initiate it more than you will have to tell him. You have been married for 16 years so there should not be an embarrassement issue or anything like that. Just tell him! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

laydenirvine	i don;t know cause my husband doesn't let it go for more then 2 days.... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

wwwdardar	Look lady after 16yrs. Don't you know how? I know everyone changes from time to time. Why shouldn't you tell him? Just because you been together for 16yrs he can't read your mind. Put on some high heels, knee stockings in a teddy in walk around him while he laying down in the bed. He will trip out. That might get him to start initiate something.You need to find out is your man aggressive in the sag. Ask him. Some people are uncountably with one other, and you would think you wouldn't because you been together for so long.He just might be the lay back type of guy in let you do all the work. Well sweet heart let your hair down, in just be wild women. Change some things in it will go a long way. So what if you have to do it first.Just do it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Violet Pearl	Maybe in the past you refused him so many times for whatever reason (tired, monthly, not in the mood) he just stopped asking and figured he'd wait until you decided sex was ok. If you want to have sex with your husband, jump his bones. If you prefer to feel miffed that he's not making the moves, do that. Who cares who initiates it- just do it and enjoy it!!!!!! Maybe if you started initiating it once or twice a week, he'll realize you're not apt to turn him down. But ... can you stop discussing your private sex life with "lots of people" and keep it between you and your husband? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

fishing66833	The nice thing about a week's time is it makes it all that more intense. Nothing wrong with it. Besides, guys are always wanting sex. If you want him to initiate more, then tease the dickens out of him. He'll get so worked up that he can't wait. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

justagrandma	My husband does exactly the same thing and its we've been married 28 years. It won't even work if you tell him to initiate it because he won't. The only thing I can think of is that somewhere in his long distant past either some girl told him in no uncertain terms no, and he was devastated by it, or hes just too polite (mine is) to press a point. Men are so strange sometimes, but if all you have to do is say to him I want you to... then do it, you can't change his spots even if it puzzles you. And believe me, I've had 28 years of being puzzled. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

charming_1200	be agressiv maybe the people are right...don't wait for him to do the firs step!;) good luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

West_End_Girl	Oh for christs sake, if you wanna skronk then just initiate it, damn it! And quite pissing and moaning cause you have to be the first sometimes! GOD, some peoples kids, how retarded are you when you have to try and get other people to agree with you that you think its unfair that you have to initiate sex...boo freakin' hoo, suck it up lady! After 16 years of the same old same old, your lucky your gettin' any at all! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sassywv	I think we all get this at some point. Only problem I had was if I didn't ask he took it as I didn't want, if I did ask I was a nymph...I think men just want to have their say in things from time to time Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Pilgrim	The most off-putting thing in this life is to try to initiate sex and to be confronted with a "oh all right, if I have to" attitude. Seduce him. I could go into detail, but won't because it would get X-rated real quick. Just seduce him. You'll be surprised at how much he'll enjoy it. . Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Chica Loca	I think it crap. All I can say is you can only intiate so many times then it's not worth the effort involed. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

chelsea v	tell him," You can have some of this then point to your pussy any time you want it, all you gotta do is start kissing me on my neck and rubbin me up " lol i bet then he'll start initiating Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

J T	Sounds like you're both on a two way street and neither knows which way to go. Maybe you need to start "dating" again to relight the ole fire you both once had. I don't mean to separate and start dating........just start going out a little more often to movies, dinner, things you use to do that you enjoyed together. Having fun together out of the bed might just lead to more fun, more often, in the bed. Just a thought. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Kyleontheweb	It's possible he is afraid to initiate because maybe he feels that sometimes when he initiates he gets turned down, and that could make him nervous about initiating. Gettings turned down is a big deal for a guy. You need to ask him why though. ~Kyle Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Steve E	I've been married 26 years and went through that same phase. We talked and found we were both just trying to be considerate of the other. You know, being tired, not interested, etc. We'll, long story short, we both now just talk, we have sex on the average twice a week and we are happy. Of course when we go to Vegas that jumps up to twice a day... but thats another story. LOL Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Brutally Honest	Wow....HUGE breakdown of communication, if you ask me. How many other topics are there that don't get discussed because you're each waiting for the other to say something??! You both need to sit down and tell each other how you feel about this (and other stuff that might be bothering you). If you can't talk about something so basic as sex, then should a crisis arise, you're going to be in deep trouble. BTW, you SHOULD have told him that he should just initiate if he wants sex; how else are you to know? Neither of you is a mind reader, right? And if you're not interested, all you have to say is "No." Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mingcrew	Talk about it earlier in the day, not just at bed time, that way you will both be on the same page. I will ask my husband what he is doing later, he knows what that means, he says "you". By the time the day is over we have joked about it all day long. When bed time comes, it just happens. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Kitty	Oh, c'mon, and if he keeps initiating anytime he wants it, you will be complaining that he wants "too much". Guys just can't win, can they. Sounds like he's giving you your personal space, and is not bugging you anytime he wants to have sex. Maybe it's not even on the forefront of his mind much of the time - guys have lives too. Let him know you would like him to initiate more, and hopefully he will be more willing to do so if he knows you're open to it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

juicie813	I think that you should sit him down and let him know that you have no problem initiating but that he need to make you fell wanted as well. Be sure to tell him that you want him to initiate sometimes. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

vanhammer	Funny, my wife and I just had this same conversation and laughed at each other about it. I told her that I like it when she initiates it because it makes me feel good....I guess it's an ego boost for us guys. All I can say is be thankful that after 16 yrs you 2 still enjoy each other. We do too and have a great rerlationship. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Angel Eve	I think over time all guys do this. They ALL stop initiating sex like its OUR JOB or something. I think you should tell him, even tho it feels like you shouldnt have to, WHICH YOU SHOULDNT... If you want him to do something, you have to tell him. Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Fletcher	He doesn't want the rejection you may give him by telling him no and he doesnt want you to feel that you are in control by witholding sex. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

soonerlover13	I say what difference does it make who intiates it?? If you both enjoy doing it why are you both sitting around not gettin any by worrying who is going to intiate it?? Sounds like you both need to just decide you like it and see if you can spice it up by seeing who can initiate it more! Get on the love train honey and ride!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Monty L	Shouldn't you be asking your HUSBAND this question. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No