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SKT1
My husband threatens to leave - what can I do?
My husband threatens to leave and go back to India all the time. I am scared of being on my own and having to start again. What can I do as I'm at my wits end?



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puff d
1: if your husband want to leave you , then let him. it's wrong to try to hold a person against their will, have more faith in yourself as i self sustaining human being. his leaving is not the end of the world. if fact it maybe the chance for a better lifestyle for you. don't just assume the worst. just have faith in yourself that you can achieve and well as he did. also if he leave follow this advice always make yourself better in look,well being and style then when you were with him. never let him see you go down. anyway have you ever wonder why the threats to leave? why not just go? the threats to leave is just a tool to obtain and maintain control. and that's not love anyway. more like B.S.M.

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mr_scotsguy
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I would let him, he sounds as if he is using this to get what he wants and you are letting him. Have confidence in yourself and your abilities, you will be fine without him if he leaves. Get yourself a Part Time job so that you will be independant and can cope without him

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mandy16
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Why hasn't he gone if he keeps threatening you, because that's all it is. It's a very manipulative thing to do, he will know you feel afraid and he can keep you in control that way.

What you need to do is help yourself. You can do on line training to gain whatever qualifications you need for your chosen career. Get some Independence and confidence so next time he threatens you with it, you can send him on his merry way and find someone that will cherish you, everyone deserves that, don't they?

Good luck hun :)

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LisaLou
Believe in yourself. BUT FIRST, express to him that if he must go, you will not stop him. Tell him it will be scary at frist, but you will manage.

The minute you show your strength and that you don't need him, HE will then get scared. You are the QUEEN lady, he is the one losing, not you. Get on that throne and let him PROVE himself worthy of YOUR love.
You want to keep your man, then you show strength...don't hold your head down..you were born without him, you lived before you met him, and you will survive without him..the question is, can he survive without you. If the answer is yes and he could truly careless..then I would help him pack and book the flight. End of story and the beginning of you.

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nature walker
its really hard to answer your question because i know how hard it can be to be alone but if you are not happy with him then maybe let him leave. then you will realize just how strong you really are without him and that you can make it without him you can e-mail me if you need someone to talk to...crystaljoywhite@yahoo.com. good luck hun.

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guidiya
Rating
accept the challenge. Girl it will make you a stronger person. Guys are dominant if they feel that you are too dependent on them. As i said accept the challenge, remember you have a loving family to lean on.

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IveBeenThere
Rating
Take control of the situation. Give him a clear choice. You can both go to couples therapy and work things out or you can go find a divorce lawyer on your own and sue him for alimony and child support (if you have children). Tell him if he tries to leave to go back to India yo will hunt him down. He can run but he can't hide from his commitment to you.
The fact that he scares you with his threats means he controls your emotions. Don't let him do this to you. Offer to help make things better but if he gets aggressive fight back.
Pretend you are a mirror. If you understand this concept you will be able to stand up to him. Good luck.

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lol
Rating
try and fix the problems you have with councelling or just talking and working things out...but if he wants to leave then let him and be independant how ever hard it may be...
theres only so much a person can take dont let him run you down

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dt
sorry but why do you want to stay with someone who has you constantly feeling scared..he must know what he is doing to you and yet still does it.you deserve better...

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Scampi
Rating
hi, i am indian and i can guarantee you that it is just an empty threat, if he really wanted to go back to India he would have married in India and stayed there. He is here because he wants stay, he will not leave you because he needs you more than you need him. Tell him to stop acting like a coward and if he's going to go then go, as you don't need him as much as he needs you. Be strong not soft.

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Daisy
You're married. You both should start acting like it. Tell him that wherever he goes, you go, because you love him. (I'm guessing you still love him). Tell him that it hurts when he threatens to leave and that you feel unstable in this relationship. Marriages are hard work, but they are always worth it if you love each other.

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Geeza Sooka Yerlips
Contact BNP, they`ll pay his fare for him.

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joanne
Rating
Call his bluff and tell him to go.......

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Why is he messing with ur head like this.....................let him go??!!

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**sparkleprincess**
If he has said this more than once I doubt he will leave or he would of done it by now.
Sit down with him and ask him why he is so unhappy that he wants to leave, maybe you can work something out. They key in any relationship is communication but this doesn't just mean talking it means listening as well.
Good luck

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raybaybaby
Maybe you should call his bluff and tell him to go if he wants to. I think by threatening to leave all the time is giving him power over you in the relationship. By you telling him to go, it takes the power from him.

Do you really want to live under this sort of emotional pressure all the time? What is he really offering you in the way of love - this isn't the behaviour of someone who cares deeply for you.

If you don't want to be on your own, I am sure you will find someone else to be with. Yes, it will be hard to "start over" but why waste the rest of your life with him?

I wish you well for the future however it turns out for you.

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b8k3p
You should buy him a plane ticket, help him pack his bags, and drive him to the airport.

Either he'll leave, or he'll shut up about it.

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antony j
leave the idiot i hate people who threatin or bash woman and kids ur better off without him

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Elizabeth S
well u should let him go and just start over again i know its going to be hard at first. but then you will realized that is better on your own than some that doesn't love you. some day u will find some to trust on. bye

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you.can.die.now.
Rating
it just shows that he can live without you meaning he doesn't love you the way he did before.....

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getmymackon
Call him on his threat. Your life will be a new adventure.

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sparkleythings_4you
Sort yourself out so that you are set up to look after yourself, it drives me mad that in this day and age women still wait for someone else to look after them, life is not like that, we fought for equality and so you should take advantage of that and start looking after yourself. You won't doe if your husband leaves, and threatening you is both childish and immature. Id say to him "Well you keep saying your gonna leave, so just go and be done with it." You'll get enough help to enable you to stay on in this country. he sounds like he wants to go so let him.

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Chianti Man
Rating
If he wants to leave a beautiful women then he's mad. Forget him, let him go. You can build an exciting and rewarding life for yourself. X

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****
I guess a lot will feel scared when put in that position, but surely if he wants to leave, then he is not right for you. Let him go and be strong, things will be less hard than you imagine and just think how you feel when you meet the man who adores you and wants to stay with you for ever. He is out there somewhere waiting to meet you. Be brave and let him go.

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Dry Dreamer
Rating
Call his bluff and if he does go you will be amazed at how strong you can be

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shepardman1
Rating
try to find someone new,then let him leave .

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Lynn
Rating
Next time he threatens to leave, march right over to the door, open it up, and tell him to 'don't let it hit you in the butt on your way out!'

You better learn to stand on your own two feet, FEAR is controlling you, not your unhappy husband.

If you are uneducated, get educated, if you don't have a job, get one! You determine your own destiny and your own happiness!!

Good luck!

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skippa
call his bluff...he's using your fear of being alone to control you...you are probably better off without him

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jackie m
Ignore it, if he was going he would have done so by now, I think you would be better off without him as this is mental cruelty, next time he says hes leaving just tell him to go you don't care.

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JEN
LET HIM GO.........SCREW HIM!
LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR HIS B S....
YOU DESERVE BETTER.

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nickipettis
i think you should take classes or get a job so that if he does go back to India, you can take care of yourself.

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