
dd
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This guy is terrible. He doesn't give a crap about you. He's playing mind games with you. You don't have to deal with that. Leave him for good. He won't change. If he's partying and not looking for you then what makes you think that he cares or that he'll change ? He's worthless....
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Lady Freyja
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Divorce and take half. What he is doing is mental abuse.
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DooWopKid
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Is that the type of husband that you've always dreamed of?
If yes, then run to him. If not, talk with your parents, go to school, go to work, make some new friends, get a divorce and move on with your LIFE :) Good luck.
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beamer
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Don't deal with at all, Ever!
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Worried
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Let me start of by saying I understand you completely. I have been married to my husband for 7 years and he started doing that 5 years ago. As the years went on it got worse it got to the point he wasn't coming home and would come up with the excuse he got drunk and feel asleep. Well here in the last month i basically became the weekday wife and on the weekends he was gone. You need to build strength and dont let him tear you down I advise to separate from him, if you have problems now it will gradually progress. Take this from one who has been threw it.If he doesn't want you to talk to your family there is your first sign he doesn't respect you. Also if he is out partying since you left he has no remorse now but later will, I wish you the best of luck
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Zane AKA There is no God
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There is no dealing. If you care about yourself you'll sit your butt right there and not leave. If he truely loves you tell him the next time you see him will be in the therepists office and if he doesn't show it's over.
And if I were you and he's physically abusive, he should be in jail!!!
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Barb Outhere
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What should you do? You realise that because of his "personality disorder" that he is never going to be the kind of husband that you want or need.
A Narcissist only sees what they want, what they need, as being important to everybody in their lives, and see the world only in terms of what effects them. They are by their very nature selfish, controlling and totally egotistical. The only thing he truly values is himself. And he will never, ever, be wrong about anything. Nothing you can do will change that for him.
The fact that he parties while your heart breaks is just one more thing that he cannot see as important. As far as he's concerned, if he's having a good time you should be happy for him. He cannot see how his actions might adversely affect the people in his life, its not in him to do so.
Let him go. That is the only way you can make more of your life. To stay with him is to accept that this is all its ever going to be. Please don't do that to yourself.
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xrayman 7
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so today you cry tomorrow he will be crying when he gets the divorce papers. dump him. you deserve better.
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brian_m
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First off, no spouse can tell the other that they forbid them from talking to family or going to school or work. It's not fair to the other. When you get married, you both are in charge. One doesn't get to make the rules.
And, why would you listen to him. How can you listen to someone who tells you how to live your life?
As for the abusing, put a end to it. Set up a camera, have someone watch, a recorder, something. Men like that don't just let you walk away. They will do something about it. Stalking, verbal abuse, even more.
I suggest you get a divorce, a lawyer, and put him in jail or something.
If he's out partying in a club, that pretty much shows you how much he cared about you when you left.
Leave him, there are better men out there that will treat you better.
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thatartistwin
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I am curious how you came up with the diagnosis of "narcissitic personality disorder"? All assholes do not have some sort of affliction......they can simply be assholes. Your husband is a loser. The faster you realize this the faster you can get on with your life and meet someone who will not turn your life into a nightmare. I wasted a lot of time in my life and I sure wish I had left MANY relationships before things got ugly and damaged my life and my self esteem.
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lovinlife
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You already have dealt with him. You dont want that type of relationship and he doesnt either. He hasnt came for you, instead, hes partying. You are still living under his bondage at your parents house. Dry your tears, get out and have some fun with your new found freedom!
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Julie C
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See a lawyer on Monday and file for divorce and alimony. You deserve so much better! You did good by leaving the situation. Now follow through with filing for divorce. You don't need a man like that. You deserved to be loved and respected. And do what you want to do, go to school, get a job. Be yourself. And before you know it, you'll meet the right man for you.
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Jess N
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You stop dealing with him. He obviously does not care about you. Find someone who will.
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kathyw
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Refuse to go back with him unless he has already worked out his problems with you and a marriage counselor. You may be contributing to the situation in some way yourself, even unwittingly, so that's the value of going to marriage counseling. Stay at your parents and do not attempt to retrieve the marriage until he says that he is willing to do all the work necessary. Whether he is a narcissist or not, there are some things you have to commit to in a marriage in order to keep it together.
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Liz
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Why are you crying? YOU should be the one celebrating the fact that you finally got this abusive moron out of your life. Stop worrying about what he gets up to and start focusing on building a new and brighter future for yourself.
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contessa
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you should definitely divorce him, seems he could care less about you or your marrriage- you should haveleft him when he lay his hands on you.
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Iris
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Your husband is an abuser. The way to deal with him is to DIVORCE HIM! Now, as soon as possible.
Thank God he's out partying instead of stalking you. Throw yourself your own little one-person freedom party, and celebrate the fact that you now have your life back.
You are beautiful. What you have to give the world is important. You have the right to work, to learn, to have other people close to you, and to be treated gently.
Hurray for leaving. See a lawyer. Call 411 and ask for an domestic violence hotline number. Have someone come with you when you go home to get your stuff. Thank your parents for their support.
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CupCake
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Well 1st of all. He is NOT going to change. My ex was a controlling person. He did almost the same thing to me,
"yes' i cried day and nites too.. It was very painful. But i got to realize my tears for him were not worth it. because i got to open my eyes he doesn't love me.. If he did he won't treat me like this.. all he wanted was to have a women to control. and come home just to get what he wants.
See i know is very hard. But u gotta open your eyes. He is controlling u now. by making u cry and feel how u feel now. What u need to do is pack your things Now.. today is a good time.. Go pack your clothes.. scaried him off. like your leaving him. So when he comes home, He see's your gone. Then u will see if he comes looking for you. then he mite feel something. But if u doesn't then that means this is going to a divorce, Be strong.. I know it hurts, talk to a friend or your family so they can be support it..
Good luck.. Pray it helps.. god bless..
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True
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Stay at your parents house. Seriously. It would be a much worse situation if you didn't have anywhere to go but you have your parents. Stay there.
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letterstoheather
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why on earth would you WANT to "deal with him"?
your marriage is a mess, he's an abuser, and you need to move forward with life, leaving him in the dust.... nothing will change unless you change it.
i'm sorry you're having such a hard time... if he's out partying, let him... it shouldn't bother you... at least he's not where YOU are right now...
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Maldavi
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He's a control freak, not a narcissist. That's why he's tried to keep you away from anyone and anything that could turn into a support group for you. It's a pretty classic case and, sadly, not uncommon at all.
Odds are he's also been cheating on you all along, especially if he's ever accused you of cheating.
Bottom line: You don't deal with him. You get as far away from him as you can and stay away.
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They Don't Like Me!
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you don't. you did the right thing by leaving, now make it legit. No one should put they hands on you, that is kind of a deal breaker. you said he is narcissistic, so that is why he is out partying. he doesn't care about anyone but himself. stop cry and lift yourself up.
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wannaseeaghost
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This guy is way too selfish to be with anyone!! I know you are probably in physical pain right now b/c he's hurt you so much. (I was hurt too once by someone who sounded so much like who you described.) Once you realize you can have better than that, I promise you, it'll feel like you can breathe again, like you're free. You are going to be okay!
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easy
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Let him party, leave him and have your own party!
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vincepac601
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leave him, why do you even consider staying with a man who treats you that way
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jennifer_weisz
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look, no offense, but you need to get a pair.......you write all these things that he has done bad to you and you stuck around this long? you whine like a 12 year old. grow-up, and get rid of this loser like a sane women would. quit disrespecting yourself.
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Beachbumminblonde
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By serving him with long overdue divorce papers
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jenna supreme
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he is a typical abuser. at this point he knows you are not doing nothing but sitting their crying because he elliminated all of your friends and fun. honey leave him move on when he calls make it seem like you are to busy. you must get control back or you will be crying and feeling worthless forever. i would leave him there are a lot of fish in the sea. it is 2008 why are you still letting some punk punch on you. regain your beauty. also if he is out partying then he doesnt care he is not worried one bit he has you right where he wants you so he thinks. prove him wrong
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jjunit
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dump him
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Garlic Monoxide
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Divorce. You deserve a better man.
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Volks
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Uh, why would you marry this guy?
You made your bed, now you get to lie in it.
As for what to do, it depends what you want to do. I'd imagine you'd want to divorce this guy since he's such a controlling jerk (nevermind that you chose to marry him anyway). So get a lawyer and file for divorce.
If you don't want to divorce him, then you need to seek counseling to find out why you'd rather be with this pig than alone.
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