My husband is coming home on leave from the military, and I have a problem!?

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miked452001	i think considering all things it should be up to him I am sure he misses you just as much but family is family so just keep the anticipation high. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

independent101	I agree with you. 7 months is a long time for a couple to be apart! Personally I think the first night should be for the husband and wife, and im sure even his family would understand that. You could always invite the family to the house the next day for a big lunch and spend the day with them. Seems like he would want to relax with his wife ont he first night at home. Im not sure of a compromise to recommend. Im sure he misses you and his family so much. Just remember to think like him, hes been gone awhile and wants to see everyone, and even though you may be right about this situation, his excitement to see everyone hes missed may have to win. Good luck, and im so happy your husband is getting time to see you after being away! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

MissTx	I totally understand your side of this- but try to think about his family... His parents have a blood/soul connection to him and I'm sure they have an almost desperate need to see their son after such an extended period away. If he is home for longer than a few days/weeks/etc., I'd give them their time when he gets in and then you get him all by yourself right after. My view is that if you've waited 7 months, you can wait another day for your "reunion." :) You'll still get your happiness- but so will he-- (and his family)-- plus, it keeps the peace, which in the long run, will make you more of the kind of woman he'd probably more desire. I hope that helps you! Have a wonderful reunion with your man! :) Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

spelling nazi	I'll try not to be too critical, but I do think you're being a little selfish, especially knowing that his family doesn't even drive. Don't you think his parents want to see him too? And besides, they wouldn't be spending the night with you, would they? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

JENNY J	Sometimes the feelings of others have to come first. As much as you miss him and want to be alone with him his parents are an important part of his life. I'm sure being a wife or girlfriend is difficult when your man goes away to the armed forces but if you have ever been a parent you should know how difficult this time has been for his parents. Your children are you're heart and soul. Yearning for some hands on time is something that will come in time. Let his parents spend some time and finally let go of that fear they have dealt with everyday since he's been gone then you can have your time with him. I know it's not easy but if you can be patient and put yourself in his parents place maybe you can make everyone comfortable and be sure to have a wonderful homecoming. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

M L	i think it would be a good idea to have them over the next day after he arrives. or if it's earlier in the day, have them waiting at the house instead, and stay for a while. he'll want to see them, but want to relax later on in the evening. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Kitty	Suck it up the first night, and enjoy yourself the second. Your husband sounds overly attached to his family, but if this is the way he is, you'll just have to give in a little. I can't imagine for myself or my husband wanting to make seeing each other after seven months of separation a family affair (even though we have great relationships with our families) - but it sounds like to your husband it is really important. Don't make a big deal out of it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

TEA	It sounds like a really sensitive situation. Would it be possible for his family to stay in a hotel? That way he would get to spend time with you and his family, but you would have him to yourself for the first night home. Its hard not to be selfish when you have been away from the one you love. I think that you are being very fair and looking for the best option for everyone involved. If you have the finances, book his family a room at a nice place, that way you can have some privacy and they won't feel like they are in the way. Even though they want to see him, surely they must know that a husband and wife would won't some time alone. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Belinda	No I think you are right it should just be the two of you first he is YOUR husband. He can see his other family the next day or something. I would not want to share my husband with anyone after 7 mths apart I would want to jump his bones and that isnt easy with gramma there. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Tess	I feel your worries, too. But it would make him more happy if you oblige to his personal request. Just go on with his plan because you will get more dearer to him in his heart. be grateful of his family where he comes from. If not for his dear parents, he would be there with you as his wife. He's also anxious toshare his blessing of going backhome safely. Anyway,it's just a simple request from him. Have your reunion or second honeymoon later after they left. Then next time, it's your turn to make that request to him. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jillary von Hämsterviel™	He would like to have his extended family present at the airport.... a good wife lets her hard working lovely charming husband have what he wants. He loves his family. You poor dear whatever shall you DO (note the sarcasm) Be sweet and charming... look nice, be happy he is there... shave your legs... you'll get your alone time with him. He wears the apnts he makes the decisions, you keep your chin up, smile, dont pout and be a good wife. It is your patriotic duty. "Yes dear" with a smile. Don't make him feel guilty for wating to see his familty. Such irony in that. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mimegamy	Invite all family to your house the day after he gets home. That way you meet him at the airport alone, you have that first night back alone. Everyone will get the chance the following day to see him. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sweetgranny06	his family wants to see him too so i would take them and he probaly misses them too think of what he wants Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Nina Lee	You are not being selfish, you are completely normal. You have been missing him like crazy, are eagerly anticipating his arrival, busting your butt, and worrying like crazy about him and all you want to do is spend some time alone w/ your husband the 1st day he comes home on leave. That is perfectly normal. De ja vu when I read your question... my husband just returned from his 2nd tour in Iraq and I've had these same feelings/ thoughts before. First, I have a son who is my world. I can't imagine him coming home for just two weeks and not being able to see him. Second, I also realize that once my son gets married, that is his new family. As hard as it may be, I am going to have to accept that one of these days. Hopefully your in-laws will surprise you like mine always tended to do. They always made a point to get a room and give us "alone time" the first day or so, even if my husband and I both offered them the guest room. Good luck and I'm glad you get to spend some time w/ your husband, it will all work out fine, try not to worry!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

lala4jbgood	The best thing you can do in this situation is take control of it yourself. Let them know they are welcome at the airport, but dinner/socializing, etc. will not start until the next day. Go as far as to even make sure everybody has a ride to the airport and BACK home. Then plan the picnic, BBQ, Thanksgiving, Christmas bash for the next day, or the day after that. I don't blame you and can imagine how you feel, but the only way to get around those MIL/SIL types is to control it yourself--you may even want to go so far as to tell them (not actually do it) that you have reservations at the Hilton or Sheraton. Good luck and congrats on hubby coming home! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Dee	You should honor your husband's wishes. He needs this reception at the airport. He loves all of you. but try to understand how lonely it has been all of this time for him.(I know you felt this way too) All the people who have sent him letters while he has been away, need to be there to welcome him. Think of it as a surprise party, you would not only invite yourself, would you? Just watch the expression on his face, when he see's everyone when he gets off the plane. You will regret it, if you dont. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

roseannetb@verizon.net	Don;t be selfish, Have a big party for the family, so you can all get together, you can get in a minute or so, (smile) this way every one would be happy. Remember you can have the whole night together, and after that. You have got to keep everyone happy, because if you don't, you will never live this down. I know your happiness is important, but some times we have to be mature, and share the joy! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

newyorktilson	Here is a compromise. Have the big family reunion at the airport go out for dinner in a restaurant then drive everyone home so that you can have your own celebration at home. While in the restaurant keep hinting at the things you have planned at home. That should cut dinner short. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kindness	This is a really tough one. I can feel your love for your husband and understand you can't wait to get him to yourself. But, I can also understand how he really misses his extended family too. Don't be resentful. Try understanding how special everyone is to him and how he really loves you. you've both been through a lot. It's best if you can want to make him happy and have his family meet him at the airport to without feeling resentment. I'm sure he really wants to be alone with you too. The next day when you finally get alone together, still do all the really special things for him that you would have done for him the first night home. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

iwondersoiask	it's understandable how much you want to be alone with him. i don't blame you, i would miss my husband too. you have to remember though, the others love him too, and he loves all of you, so at first let everyone welcome him home. it is understandable that you and he will want to be alone as soon as possible, but you can spare some time for the family. just go with the flow, everyone is so proud of him and has missed him, he is coming home and wants to see everyone. have a little get together, keep it short, send the relatives on a bus or train, or with another relative, and explain that you guys have made plans to be together. they will understand, and be glad for you guys. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

soldierlady226	I can understand your husbands position. I don't know where he is coming home from but if he is overseas, life is highlighted more then you would ever know. Wanting to see his mom and dad and sister and brother is a huge thing. Understand, yes you are his primary family but his mom and dad come on, give the man a break. I would however explain to him that your reunion with him does supersede theirs. Explain to him that you want all of his time, however do you understand him wanting to spend sometime with his parents and siblings. Be patient Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

clippers	Talk to him and let him know how you feel. If it has been that long then you definitely need at least one night. Tell him that you can go see them together in a day or two. I know it is hard when he is gone but just remember that he has mission in life and we all need to support him. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

latin Rhino in SD	Hello there! I know that after not being with him for this long, you want to be alone. I bet you missed him, you missed holding him and talking with him. i bet you missed him being there next to you? Now think about this, if he were your son, how much more would you love him and miss him? just remember that they want to be with him just as much. maybe not in the same way as you but still they love him and want to hold him. he is one of the lucky ones.......................how many of our troops have been sent back in body bags......only to be picked up by those who are left behind. ( sharing is the greatest gift) How many of us long to be loved by so many????? give them a little time with him and remember, after that, he will be all yours!!!!!!!!! all night!!!!! he must be a lucky guy to have a wife who loves him so much and wants him so bad! life is too short.................... Cheers! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

shoppingreen	OK here's a simple solution! he wants to see his family when he gets home right? well then u get a video tape and have everyone of his family on it telling him about how happy they r that he is finally home and what ever they want to say! (don't tell Ur husband about the tape) then u have a good friend go with u that can drive with a video camera to tape the happy face that they all wanna see when he gets home. and u have him say what ever it is he wants to tell his family on the tape. and also add that everyone is meeting for dinner some place tomorrow! or his family can set up a time and place for u all getting together. to surprise him on the tape that's made for him. then u have Ur friend go to the place where everyone is meeting at to watch the video together. they drop it off and everyone is happy! good luck!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

lovie12346	Your not being selfish at all! Id contact the family and tell them straight out that YOUR husband is coming home and your very excited and you have made some hummm... how do we say very romantic evening plans for him. If they wish to meet him at the airport then ask them to get a driver because you are going to be busy. Tell them you and your husband will meet them to the following morning for breakfast or a better idea lunch. Its just has hard on the family left at home as it is on the soldier. God Bless and You Go Girl! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Tapestry6	It's one thing to request the immediate family, including mom and dad, when your single. When you are married you ARE now his immediate family!! He will be totally exhausted when he gets off that airplane. Arrange with his family to have a party at your house, or their house, the day after that his arrival this will give you your time with him and it will them their time with him. No you are NOT being selfish. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

shannon d	I agree with the answer that asked for your def of "extended" family. I could understand his parents and siblings wanting to meet him at the airport. Why dont you pick them up, take them to the airport with you, have the big reunion at the airport and then drop them off at their respective houses. That would be a decent compromise..you would be able to have your night alone with your husband. He is so lucky to have a wife that loves him so much! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

zax_fl	Let him be greeted by everyone he knows. At the end of that day , the others will go home. You then have him for yourself. Maybe the following day you should plan a getaway, where it is just you and him. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

opyankees_06	Well do it this way pick up his family, who has missed him just as much but in a different way, stop back to their place for an hour or two. Then take your man home and show him how you have missed him since he has been gone....don't forget good things come to those who wait :D Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

picture	Oh no way would after 7 months would i have family there, plan a reunion the next day, with food ,and family,,, friends ,and have a great time, the first night should just be you two. Explain to his mom and dad and who ever your wishes and then tell them about wanting a reunion the next day and make a big deal about needing there help getting every thing together and contacting friends and etc. they should if they have and ounce of brains understand that you wish some one on one time with there son. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

trichbopper	He is the one who has been away in the military. I personally think you should respect his wishes. Come on after they leave you have lots and lots of time to get together. This will cause less strife for him. You must remember that his mother has not seen him in a long time. If you force him not to have his extended family present then it will cause him strife. I would honor his wishes. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No