My husband had an affair last year & I cant get it out of my head. is this normal?

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traveller	you will just have to keep trying to forget it, that is if you have forgiven him. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

?	Yes it is normal. Did you talk to someone about it? If you didn't, you should. It will help. If you decided to stay together, its going to be hard but you can do it. Good Luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

smurfette_au2000	Totally normal. But i would say that if you're still this "obsessed" with it that you will probably never get over it. I'd leave. Don't forgive. Once a cheater, always a cheater. He will probably do it again. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

DZEDZEA	yep but you've got to learn to forgive for internal peace's sake Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

tanj_maria	of course this is normal. if my bloke had an affair i wouldn't be able to get it out of my head. what you'll have to do is sit down with your husband and talk about how you are feeling and what is going to happen. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kanuuscbe	Given to ask 10 people, all 10 will give diveded opinions. Do what is right for you ? Do not ask for opinions on net, especially. We aren't thats erious ..we are all pranks. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

thecharleslloyd	My ex wife did this to me. It's a hard one to cope with. Just keep looking in the mirror and remembering it's his mistake. Hope you are OK Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

dizzymooo	It is normal i have just found out that my partner has had an affair, and i totally understand i cant get the pics out my head wondering what she was like and what he liked about her was she better in bed than me everything drives you mad but what we have to remenber is that they stayed with us they didnt leave us for them. I feel for you i know just how you feel how hurt and betrayed you are if you need to talk feel free to mail i know how much it hurts x Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Gilana	Darling,its not easy to get over this problem.I personally believe this is the biggest hurt a man can cause for the women.I know what you going through,You have to be strong,build the trust back its not easy,I hope your husband do everything he can to help you to heal the marriage and build the trust .If he really love you,(well he should not cheat on you in the first time )but if he really sorry what he did and want you to stay with him ,you give the second chance to him.But it will takes year to heal the pain.Yes this is normal,its not something you can just get over it.But if its still hurt very much and you think you cant trust him ever again,well try some marriage cancelling,if nothing help maybe you better off with out him.If you have children,than for they sake you must work it through.God bless you and wish you a very happy,joy full marriage. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

charity2882	It is very normal. I am shocked at your willingness to stay with him. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Forlorn Hope	Yep, you should have an affair and get your own back... Find guy(s) that turn you on and have the time of your life... ;) Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jsjr12469	love hurts Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

maria	It's totally normal you will probably never get this out of your head for a long time, until you have totally forgiven him. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jdk239	Once a cheater always a cheater. Be honest with yourself...will you ever truly trust him again? Kick his *** to the curb and get on with your life. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jacky	i think yes. u were hurt. i wouldn't make a big deal out of it. just ask why did he do that and try to fix this lack of smth in yourself. hope it won't happen again Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jonb4more	of course its normal, its gonna take time to rebuild that trust. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Loobyloo	yes, unfortunately he is the one with the problem not you so there isn't much you can do apart from be careful he doesn't do it again (rarely do they commit adultery just the once) and either leave and find someone you can trust or move on, best of luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

1234567	Totally normal... Just act like it's a secret you have to carry to your grave (that you cant even discuss with him) and it'll get easier, though. If you keep bringing it up, the situation just grows and grows. Sort of like a sore that you keep tearing open. Let it scar over. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kat	absolutely normal. your brain is still dealing with it. only time will heal it. i hope he allows you to talk to him about it. you are very brave to stay with him Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cschultz28	Absolutely. If you are trying to make things work make sure that you are open and honest with your husband and make sure he understands how you still feel. If he is truely sorry he will understand. After all, he is the one that violated your trust, you should not be the one feeling guilty. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

keepsake_06	ya , probably you love him too much but he dont. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

m37734	oh geesh...one of these moments...you'll never get over it, you'll always be wondering in the back of your mind if he's doing it again...trust me, no chat in the world will rid you of these thoughts and for sure a man doesn't want to rehash this a few hundred times, though he "should" want to to help and support your ease of mind...it's not an easy conversation... have you ever considered evening the score? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sas W	Its very normal, it means that you havent really dealt with it. If he still loves you then he will want to listen to your concerns and if you still love him you will want to talk to him about what you are thinking about. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

bethie_biker	Very normal, but it can become an obsession. If you're constantly thinking about, worrying what he's doing as soon as he leaves your sight, then you're probably not dealing with the parts of your life on which you should be concentrating. Your trust in him has been broken, and it's not something that just re-appears. You should probably find a good counselor because there are things in the relationship which obviously need work. Good luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

MS L	Once trust is broken - we never seem to forget - I hope that you are able to repair the damage but from experience I will tell you that if you cannot put it in the past and move forward the chance for repair is not very likely Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

lavender	It's very normal to keep going back to 'by-gones' especially when they have to do with intimacy. Once a partner cheats, we cannot brush it away with a simple act of forgiveness. Just like a wound leaves a scar once healed, your brain cannot shut out the memories regarding that affair- after all, I assume you love him, and so how can your brain then forget an affair that occurred only last year? I am currently dealing with a similar issue and haven't figured out my next step. I guess all I can say is 'all the best!' Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

thebubster7	Yes. We can forgive, but cannot ever forget things. Time can give us distance from pain, but not total removal of it. Remember, forgiveness is not for him, it is for you. Your failure to forgive with eventually eat you up inside. Eventually, with open and honest communication, and change in behavior, forgiveness may come. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Iwant2playagame...	Totally normal. Its a long and grueling process to get over it.... Hope you get there in the end. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Julie R	Yes is normal and it will take a long time to heal and to regain trust in him! Just thank God that a baby wasnt born to them during the affair! It happened to me and it made it very hard to forgive him and I lost all trust in him and when he leaves the house I start thinking he's on his cell phone with her and when he's gone for hours I start thinking shes meeting him at the park or some where! And this is destroying my marriage I already went to get the Divorce papers and he knows I have them and when I get to that point I just cant take it no more I filling them!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

JAZY	No it's not normal if u forgave him u should have forgotten. And evidenly u have not forgotten so it's just better if u leave him. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

leadbelly	it's like a jigsaw puzzle where you haven't finished the picture, except that putting all the pieces back in the box is harder than completing the picture. you have to finish it, no matter how long it takes. what that means is that you have to sort through every part of the problem and reach an answer. find a picture that lets you stay in the marriage or one that lets you leave. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No