My 50 year old husband has gone off with a 36 year old woman from his church, I have 4 children...?

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wings	does it matter what age the woman is or is it the fact you are also the same age as your husband. forget what history or previous affairs she has had its not your business. Your children and you are your business so pick yourself up and behave how you would like them to be when they grow up. You want to keep the father of the children - he will always be their father but you don't own him. you may strongly believe in your marriage vows but it sure doesn't seem he does. move on and get living. good luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Candidus	If it were me and my spouse ran off with someone like that, I would point out to them that there were four children involved, all under the age of 18. I would also point out that when child support is not paid, it is a criminal offense and that he could likely wind up spending some time in the county jail with some very scummy people. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

xLoubieLoux	its ashame your husband didnt believe in your marriage vows as much as you! let him make this mistake!! he will be the one missing out!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Dj' s	Yeah fancy a Toy-boy lol....no seriously i feel for you but you must move on, it's not you that has broken the marriage it is or was your husband, so stop blaming yourself please. P.s you have the right to be happy also so don't spend another moment worrying about what if etc.. get on with your life and find happiness once more ;) All the best xx :) Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

John Timothy	Gosh, that is a lot to handle! She sounds like one of those temptresses that men completely lose their heads over and can't explain how it happened afterwards. Pragmatically speaking, the best advice anyone can give you if the men with whom this woman has had affairs have all died, is to make sure your husband's life insurance premium is current. That sounds cold, but is it not logical? And don't worry. He will come back to you and the kids. These kinds of women are never satisfied for long and she will soon tire of him. As soon as she finds another marriage she can wreck, he will be thrown out the door. You sound like you have a forgiving heart. Wait for him. He will come back to you in the end. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Suzy Q	yes dear get a good lawyer and get child support and move on with yourself. you can't just sit there and do nothing you are too young. get going and yes with 4 kids you can make it i did. but i left my hubby cause he was a monster and raised my kids with help of a wonder man. its unreal yours but mine was fooling around hes been taken care of now. hes done and mean but hes still owing child support i will get him its money in the bank. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

tank_boogersmom	dont worry he will burn, just you wait and see.... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

libran_beauty	a woman can take care of her kids if she decides....wat a bastard he is.....he will pay 4 this....how can u live with him?? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kiss_me_cold_007	I would forget about them, I know it hurts, but you have to now protect yourself and your children. See a lawyer and don't have any further communication with him until you do so. It doesn't matter who she is, the fact is that he's gone. You have the kids and the house. Fight to keep both! The longer that you wait to seek counsel, the worse off its going to be for you in the long run. I understand that you want to keep your marriage vows and your children's father, but he chose to leave. It takes two to make a marriage. Since he's left, your in a good position to take him to court to get FULL custody and spousal support. Don't waste time trying to get him back, he isn't worth it. This happens so much now adays and most of the time, once the husband/father is gone, he's gone for good. Step up and don't waste time getting yourself into a position to support 4 children. I feel so bad for them, but if you don't do something legally immediately, your only going to let them down in the long run. Get a lawyer, get a separation agreement signed by both you and your husband and let him fight for seeing the kids. Don't give in to him and don't be a doormat for him if he starts saying that he wants this and that. You have to stand on your own two feet for your children since he chose not to be there for you all. He's a scumbag. Unfortunately this is the reality of what marriages have come to. I wish I had nicer things to say to you, but I've seen so many women go through this and have just sat around doing nothing while the ex ends up with a new wealthier life while the mother is hanging on by a thread. I would from now on, keep all communication to registered letters, seek a lawyer and do some research on the internet. Nobody is going to do anything for you but yourself. Fight for your rights and don't be nice. He is your children's father and will always be, but he chose to leave them. Get a visitation schedule working as soon as possible and get it in writing preferably. It will help when/if you go to court in the future. If you don't do anything and you end up in a very bad situation for you and your kids, you only have yourself to blame. I strongly recommend that you not waste another minute hoping that he comes back and put those efforts into securing a future for you and your kids. Good luck!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Princess Leia	My girlfriend's mother who's husband died, attracted a married man and they got married after his wife found out and divorced him. That was a smart thing to do, because she's been free from worrying, from living in a miserabe life...she remarried and found a man who felt strongly tied to his martial vows as she did. If you stay with him you're sending the WRONG message to your chidren. You're showing them that it's okay for daddy to cheat because mom always forgives him. You're showing them that it's a normal thing to do - to cheat - because you want to live your life as if it never happened and you want to keep your husband. You think you're doing the best by trying to keep your marriage together, but really, you're not. If he's broken his vows as your husband...the bond that the vows created is BROKEN between the two of you, neither of you are bound by anything anymore. Are you willing to live a life of misery and regret? Are you willing to have your children see that this kind of lifestyle and moral choices are okay and acceptable? Is this REALLY what you want for your children? You know what to do from here, I don't need to write it out for you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

The Rabbit	I agree with MICH… be strong girl…. You don’t need him! Set the example for you kids and never take mistreatment from any man…. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Herbal	Just ride it out. You are allowing and enabling it to exist and function...with your "vows" (how ridiculous are you?) so,.. that being your choice, take it on and ride it through. It is called mid life sexual energy due to pent up boredom and frustration with one same lethargic partner,or in her case with some goofed up denial cult that has driven her horny. Those mid thirties church type women are hot maids! Just tell your children when they are mature enough that it is a normal pattern of behaviour for men of their Dad's age, and for many women who moralise about sex for too long and too much, eventually becoming wildly frustrated. That truth instead of trying to forge together an untrue dysfunctional pretence scenario. And ! ..DON"T tolerate the rudeness one bit if you have your self worth in place. No wonder you get no respect and that this is happening to you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

nickle	Well I sure as hell would not hang on to this person just because he is the father of your kids------------they can see him whenever they want to. Doesnt matter ho much you believe in your vows it is not worth going thru this over and over again. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Beatlemaniac	I think you would be better of without him!! What a Cad! leaving you with children a right loser!!! He will always be the Father of your children and make sure he pays you child support!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

pwwatson8888	Divorce is sanctioned in the Bible if the spouse has committed adultery. He has. You kept your vows - he broke his. You may forgive him that is your choice. She sounds like a black widow spider. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Kit Kat	My suggestion is open your eyes...........Is it really worth it to you to have him back? Would you trust him again? You and your children will do just fine if you are a strong woman.....ie you dont NEED a man to make things right. HE made a mistake, why should YOU pay for it? If you let him stay, you deserve anything you get. MOVE ON. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Brandy	It's good that you believe in your marriage vows, however, do you know your bible? Go read 1 Corinthians 7 - what I call the "marriage chapter" and see what God says about marriage. Your husband sinned against you and God and HE broke the vows, not you, so now you are free. You don't have to stay married to a man who doesn't love you and if he cared anything about those kids he wouldn't be doing this. Stop using this as an excuse and just say the truth, if you don't want a divorce then fine. If you don't want to leave him then fine. But sweetie, look around, he's already left you. Do yourself and your children a favor, divorce him, adopt a new family name - his is now a disgrace - and move on. God bless. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Willie J	Get a good lawyer. Unless you can show he is a danger to your children, He has rights to see them. While you may not want a divorce, I think you have no choice. If he wants to marry the BIMBO he can file against you. Good luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Makeshift	Worst emotional roller coaster ride of my lifetime!! Finally asked him what his intentions were with this other lady, turned out he loved her more- no counseling to save our marriage. WOW, who'd expect that. Told him "Don't let the door kick you in the *** on your way out" Once he was out, couldn't believe how the kids opened up- turns out he was rude to them to. Believe me, there is no loss greater than "SELF WORTH" Teach your children now so they don't repeat the cycle Physical & Emotinal Abuse IS NOT OK Then enjoy the ride!I Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Musica	In 1989, my husband left me for another woman. I didn't want the divorce but it was plain I couldn't keep him where he didn't want to be. In a case like that it is better to let him go because if you hold on to tightly, you can lose your grip. In fact, getting away from an unfeeling and emotionally abusive person like that may be the best thing you can do for you and your children. . By trying to hold onto him and allowing him to show disrespect to you in front of your children, you are basically showing your children that you are availble for being a doormat, and they too will walk on you as well. It sounds to me like you are better off without him. Sure it's scary to be alone, but it isn't fatal. I would recommend going to counseling...and getting a lawyer. Also, if you can help it, try not to fixate on the other woman. It's only a waste of precious energy you'll need to rebuild your life. All of this stuff has got nothing to do with her really. Your husband made the CHOICE to not honor his vows,and he should own up to the responsibility of his actions. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

buffmountain	Forget the loser, divorce his dumba.s.s .......sell the house and start again with the kids in a different town. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ronin	What church is this? Church of Satan!! You believe in marriage vows, that's good. Does your husband? Obviously not. Do you think it's good for your children to see you upset and to see him treat you with rudeness and disrespect. Get a lawyer. It's not going to get any better. I'm sorry for your pain but you've got to be strong. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Judge Judy of Y/A	If you're not willing to leave him then you're going to just have to deal with it because it's impossible to control another person's actions. By staying with him, you are essentially saying that you'll tolerate that behavior so what is his motivation to stop? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

largegrasseatingmonster	I don't think you will be able, under the circumstances, to force him to come back and act as a sensible father. I don't mean to be morbid, but if all of this woman's conquests are turning up dead, he will most likely be next, which means that you will most likely be in a position to collect on any insurance policy on his life. This might buy you time to find a more suitable husband. I wouldn't bank on this strategy mind you. You should consult with your parish and see what they recommend. Otherwise, you should start documenting all of this in the event that you need to ask for a divorce. In my opinion, you should seek an attorney, a priest, and some friends. I can assure you that either way, these next couple years are going to be very unpleasant, and you need to prepare yourself emotionally for it as best you can. Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jetskichick25	What a slutty homewrecker. I can't understand why people have to go after married men or women. Geez! There are enough single people out there. I applaud you for believing in your vows, but it sounds like your hubby needs a lesson in being faithful. I know you want to stay for your kids, but a man like that will only teach them everything that is wrong so you are probably better off finding a good guy that will be honest and faithful. Let him live with the ****. She will dump him and you will have the last laugh. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

ronniestar14	Divorce is probably the best answer, even if you don't want it. It's not you who broke the marrige vows, it was him. Trying to make things better could only make things worse. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

MICH	I respect your commitment to your vows...but what is this saying to your children?? That you deserve to be treated like crap and it doesn't matter what your spouse does you stick it out no matter. I really do respect you and i don't mean to come across harsh, but you need to think of you and your kids first. Good luck!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

knk724	well you can not keep someone that does not want to be kept. and you especially do not want to keep someone that disrespects you regardless of kids. its not ok for daddy to treat mommy like shyt. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kja63	What kind of example do you want set for your children? This man is a cheater and he abandoned his family. This man is no father! If you have so little self-esteem as to want him back after what he has done (and heaven knows what diseases he will bring back), then at least have the decency to think of your children. Set a good example for them -- dump the bum and make something of your life. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

diobalik	He cheats on you, treats you like dirt, but you want to stay with him to honor your vows? How about honoring your self respect? How about having some pride. Stand up for yourself, get out and move on. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Toni M	God understands all that you are going through. He knows what your husband is putting you through and knows of how your husband is acting. He will understand that you are not happy and being done wrong. I think that you should move on and be HAPPY! You deserve to be treated better than how he is doing you. God WILL understand honey. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No