Marriage problems?

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EL Big Ed	Get the hell out Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

trillionaire	See a marriage counselor and the most important thing is to be absolutely honest about everything when you see one. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Smith & Jones	Stop fighting over the "small" stuff, I think you should talk to your hubbie and tell him/address some of the things, change what you can the rest should fall into place.Stop trying to agree on everything,grow up ,I know I just give in to my wife {most of the time}.You should try date nite,come up things you both like to do....and some times get a little risk-kee...or think out of the box. .................and if that does work just call me cause I AM availble and will agree to "everything" xxxooo Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

pianoplayer	LEAVE HIM,THATS WHAT IM DOING WITH MINE IT FEELS LIKE A HUGE WEIGHT BEENS LIFTED OFF MY SHOULDERS Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kitten27us1997	well i know how you feel. i'm now going through the same thing. i have 2 kids and it makes it a lot harded. but if you are not happy then you need to leave the situation because most times it will not get any better. and things will get better you need to do what you need for yourself and your kids if you have any. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jwtaz1	i would try is to take one problem and find out with a coman ground. and take one step at a time too i am not sure this is very helpful. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

raffi	there are probably some deeper issues that you need to deal with, why don't you try therapy and try to figure it out, divorce is not always the solution Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

curious1	If you buy a really fine car, put a good initial investment into it, you take care of it. If you see it needs new tires you get them, if do routine maintance on it it will last forever. You treat it well and it will take you wherever you want to go safely. Some people get into "the trade in new" every year or two. My thoughts then, are why not just lease. Same with marriage. If your spouce was fine enough for the initial investment, then maintance is in order. Egnoring the clunk does not make it get better. Taking it to a responsible mechanic is worth the time. Same with marriage. Divorce is so easy now a days, next time just live with the guy, so you don't have to take care of him. No committments, no problems. Have two refrigs, two phones, don't share anything. So much easier. Orrrrrrr talk to each other, if necessary, back to back. Use the word "I" not "you" If one is having a problem with another, that is where the problem is, not the other. If he doesn't pick up his clothes to get washed, he has no clean clothes. If he won't clean up after he eats, leave it, don't get mad, you are not his mother. If he spends money irresponsibly, then set up an account for that purpose. If he doesn't pay enough attention to you, why are you needing that? Get a hobby. It is interesting it ruins your sex life. How can you have sex with someone you don't like? So get help, or get out. But don't boo hoo if you do and don't go looking for "love" elsewhere. You aren't ready for it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jill M	Try reading "The Relationship Cure" by Gottman. Other good books are "Love is a choice" or if you are ending it or seriously thinking of ending it then "Coming Apart." Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sandy F	well if you argue all the time and can't agree on anything it causes stress and who could feel like having sex with the things that are being said and done during the day.. Unless you try counciling or some other area where you can agree on some things i don't really see the reason to stay married. I have always believed if you can't be happy. and sex has nothing to do with it.you shouldn't be together. If sex were the only thing you wanted out of your marriage and it was really really good then it would be worth putting up with the rest of the crap.. but you don't even have the good sex anymore it has been affected too.. so think about a divorce after all the rest of the stuff have been tried. you both deserve to be happy and if you can't be together be happy with someone else. if that is what you want..but get the divorce first before being happy with someone else. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ycul72	try this website www.marriagemissions.com I think it is awesome. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

maku d	seek help froma a pro and save ur marriege u have been together for a decade u still growing together save ur marriage Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

onelonevoice	You need to take a lover,it will clear up your head. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

georgia b	First step: Read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. That should give you enough to start with. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

NyteWing	It's time to get out. One of you needs to be the bigger person and file the paperwork. Come to a mutual decision to part ways. Neither of you are happy. You may discover that you make better friends in the long run. Good luck to you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

musiclicker	You state you can't get in the mood because of all the stress. Back off that answer, and take a long look at yourself. It is not because of the stress! Don't try to analize your own problems, leave that to the pro's. When hate is built up inside you, you tend to look for anything to justify fighting, like "give me a reason" so I can feel good about letting you have it! Things don't get better no matter what you do, is kind of the answer. Its what you are not doing that is causing the problems. In order to make it work, you and him must totally wipe the slate clean, forget the past because its water under the bridge and you can't do anything about it anyway, and start new as if it is the first date you have ever had together. Funny how everyone else can see the problem except the one it is happening to! By not being in the mood at all, and blaming it on the stress is a cop out! What man would want to be married to any woman that was never in the mood? In a marriage, in order for it to last, you must do what it takes to keep each other happy, and that sometimes means having sex even when you don't feel like it. You see, if you truly love someone you will do what it takes to keep them and yourself happy. If there is never any sex in a marriage, that is like telling him you either hate him or your are fooling around. You wouldn't be using sex to get things your way, would you? Realize one thing; IF you don't have sex with your husband, just how long does it go on that way before other women start to looking like his only option? If you both can truly let go of the past, put some fire back in the bedroom, and stop looking for reasons to blame each other, then you will slowly fall back in love, and your relationship will again prosper. I think I might qualify to give you this advise, since my wife and I have been married for 32 years. We have been there and done that! Good Luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ripper	Oh this one is simple, 10 yrs, you could divorce and get something worst, are you could sit down and find out what really is the problem, could it be a trust issue, Make a date to talk about it over diner, find a nice romantic place with candle light and talk about it during diner, you really will be surprise of the out come, Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

SexeyMom	Every day God is testing you to see how you handle the situation.......Put this into God's hand and let him help you....... Pray and God will help you find your way and learn how to handle this situation Do you still love him? and you can't live without him? then you need to work on your marriage.......Have a sit down and discuss with each other is really bothering you and see if that helps if not, try marriage counseling.......If you both love each other then you need to at least try to make this work.........Good Luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mama	Men can have sex just to have it, women on the other hand have to feel in love or feel like they are loved, to want to make love. If you are having problems in the marriage, and fight all the time, then sex is going to be just that....its just sex --- and sometimes it feels like a chore, or something you just have to do to keep the marriage going. It shouldnt have to feel that way - but unfortunetely if it has gotten this far, then maybe getting in the mood is the least of your problems - sorry to say Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jesse R	you need third party intervention to help you try and work out your differences. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

justwaitingtoleave	Look am a firm believer that any Marraige can work. both parties have to put some effort towards it. Look into Counciling, a good one, maybe even someone like a pastor or minister that can help you. But just dont give up there is a reason why both of you got married and hopfully it was out of Love. Maybe you and him need to go some where for a weekend, even if its the hotel up the road, where you and him can forget your difference and focus on Love and love making. Every marriage goes thro a rocky time, but you can do it, you just have to talk, make itme to talk make time to make love, make time for dates, make time for each other Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Haley S	Maybe you should consider a marriage counselor. Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

ourangel	have you both tried a marriage counselor or a weekned retreat for married couples. Sometimes speaking to an outsider who is partial will be able to discover and see things that you were not aware of. divorce is never easy I am going through that myself, its is even harder when children are involved, you need to remeber that you are important and you need to worry about your mental wellbeing. I would say go speak to a person who trained in lfield Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

bigballz1972	Wow, what amazes me is that I'm a guy, married, going through the same thing you are.....and yes, I am stressed which hurts the love making too. I'm a stay at home dad of 3, and we discussed divorce, which will eventually happen. Best thing to do, which I've realized is get a divorce, but remain friends with him. Then, start over, be free again to do what you want, and be invidual again......then, maybe someone good will come along later. Keep in touch and good luck.......glad we're in the same boat, but sorry about our circumstances! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Katie S	"See a counselor" seems like such a cop-out, but I've been seeing one for non-relationship issues and it's been such a phenomenal help for me. Even if he doesn't want to go, find one to see by yourself. It would be a shame to throw away ten years of emotional investment if the root of the problem ends up being something relatively simple. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

totallylost	Sounds like it time to quit. I do not like divorce. People use it as an easy out most of the time. Honey, it seem both of you are miserable. You can't get in the "mood" because your feelings have change toward your husband. It would be just sex, even if you felt like it. What's holding you together? Is it because you don't want to be the first one to say it's over? Can't you see both of you deserves to be happy! You aren't, and I can't imagine he's real thrilled either. So, why not call it quits, so both of you can find someone that you can't wait to talk to, see, or be with. Remember that thing! Sometimes, people just grown apart, it's nothing that you can point your finger at, and no one is to blame. Since, I have grown older, and I see how miserable people are in their marriages....divorce doesn't seem so bad.....Life is hard enough without being loved by someone who loves you just much as you love them. So, think about what I said, it's hard, I know, But would it be any harder than what you are living like now. Maybe you both can find that the right person, but you can't look now, because you both are spinning your wheels trying to make something out of a marriage both of you aren't interested in. Please take care of yourself, and I wish I had the magic words to make everything Ok. but honey, there is none, but everyone deserves to be loved......by someone you love.... God bless us all............. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

hellsbells	You both came into your marriage with expectations...only you didn't discuss them. Actually, you didn't really know what they were. We are all products of our childhood, and that's where we develop our life expectations. You're both in the disillusionment stage of a marriage. This can be a spiral staircase to divorce, or it can be a pole vault to true happiness & love. Therapists help you recall your childhood issues, good & bad. This helps you to understand your own expectations & share them with each other. Amazingly enough, you probably share many more expectations than you realize. There are people who have deep dark secrets that make a continued marriage impossible (like homosexuality), but for most it's small stupid stuff. (easy to fix) Caution: Therapy is not a pill or a magic word that makes everything OK. Clarity about your relationship takes about 3 months, and your direction will come around 6 months. After that, the real work begins. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jen	You could get divorced like all your friends are going to do. Or you could decide divorce is not an option and just start being nice. Just be nice over and over and over. Get really good at giving backrubs. Make his favorite foods. If he asks you what's up, why aren't you yelling at me all the time. Just tell him you love him. Marriages break down when we refuse to be nice to each other anymore. Eventually he'll start being nice back over and over again. And if not, at least you won't have as much to fight about. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

aprado2001	There are things you can control and things you cannot control. If you focus too heavily on those things you cannot control, it can lead to an overwhelming amount of frustration and anxiety. Choose instead to focus your thoughts and efforts on those things upon which you can have a positive influence. There are plenty of those things, and by giving your energy to them you can quickly and significantly improve the quality of your life. Stop worrying so much about what others are doing wrong. Instead, put your time and effort into discovering what you can do right, what you can do well, and in using your unique abilities to create excellence. Whenever you feel yourself getting anxious or frustrated by something that's beyond your control, stop and take a fresh look around. There's something you can do, right then and there, that will make a positive difference in the world. The more you make use of the positive power that you have, the stronger that power will grow. There is always something you can do, and it always beats complaining or worrying about those things you cannot do. Do what you can, when you can, where you are, with what you have. You'll find that it can make an enormous difference. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

tomnjerry	I am sorry for what you are going through right now. But please give your marriage a chance to be happy. Men/husbands are the leaders in a home and women/wives are subordinate; be submissive in a childish way, not letting him have his way all the time. Give him the chance to be the head. Look up to him for masculine roles and concentrate on feminine roles. Listen to him more without complaining, do not complain/quarrel over small things, find a way of ignoring them and keep a smile on your pretty face. Make something special for him whenever you can. he will know you have been thinking of him all day and the rewards will follow. Choose to be happy with him and outline all the positive things you like/love about him and find ways of ignoring the bad qualities - no one is perfect. Lastly pray to God Almighty. Lift your marriage into God's hands. Let Him place in you a cheerful heart, let God take charge now. God Bless You and Good luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Velociraptor	Here's a good word to keep in mind that is ESSENTIAL for a good marriage...... COMPROMISE. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No