I need your advice on our marriage issue! read below!?

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pwellons1	If neither one of you have been unfaithful and you truly love her........then PRAY! Ask God to give you favor with her and to rekindle her love for you........continue to do whatever you have been doing for her and your children...........and just be patient.......If you don't know Jesus Christ personally, invite him into your marriage and life, and he will work some serious miracles if you trust him........believe me it works.....I felt like that about my husband before, and at first I didn't know why, but later I found out that I was jealous of him because he had a life and I didn't........we have been married for almost 21 years and we started dating when he was 13 and I was 15. After I started praying, I was lead to read the book called "Value in the Valley" by Iyanla Vanzant, and my whole life changed.......maybe it will work for you two, also. God Bless Your Marriage, and I'm praying for you! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

queenboo_t	That's sad. Well, one thing's for sure....you can't make someone love or want you, your wife has to want it. If you try to make her stay and she's really annoyed, she will just want to be away from you even more. My advice to you is to lay low. Try to look as good as you can, be as fun as you can, smile as much as you can (even if it kills you) and carry on with life as usual without bringing up the subject, and MAYBE she will look at u differently. Focus more on you and not her (put her mind to thinking on what she might be missing out on). Let her no u love her, but that your life will not end just because she's not in it, and DON'T give in on that. You might see a change in things. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mac	Sorry to say this hun, but it sounds as though she might have found someone else. Or she is at least interested in someone else. OR - it could be your communication in the marriage. Is their openness and honesty?? Is there respect? Do you show her love all the time?? It's a bummer man. Don't sit around though waiting for her to change her mind - it probably will never happen. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

the answer	Things like this happens to alot of people. All you can do is evaluate the situation,figure out how and why now she decided to make this change.If you can't spice things up romance her and bring back the flame of love for you in her eyes she's probaly on her way gone. But look here the most important things are the kids, you can find love like or better for a woman than what you had specially if she can turn her back on you after all these years. I say be strong, focus on your kids thats where your love should be they can never leave like that. Find a real woman keep thing wild and lively. Think of this as a good change, upgrade younger, hotter wilder be the first 1 lookin for that new squeeze believe me they are out here. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

martiek7	I am sorry to say this - but you never had "HER" in the first place. You had what she thought she was supposed to be. It is one of the pitfalls of marrying young. Right now she is realizing (& you should to try and figure out what sparked this new found realization) - but she's under the impression that life is greener on the other side of the fence. It could be that stress from financial hardhsips, overwhelmed by the demands of being a mother and other things may be taking their toll. Give her some space & be prepared in the event that she goes all out for a divorce - by this I mean protect yourself from being taken advantage of - not that she would - butit happens). If you provide her some space - be sure you tell her she must be willing to leave the house - get her own place, but leave the children with you as you think it would provide them a bit of stability while she goes out and explores the world around her. Hopefully this initself will snap her back to reality. If not - this happens more then what you think and once the divorce is final, the gorgeous house has a new woman sleeping in her bed and a new potential step mother to her children creeps into the program, they learn just how blue the green grass really is. Either way - she'll come around or she won't - in which case - plan ahead - be strong for your children and fight for them - don't get rapped in the court system - and ALWAYS remember - sh'es the one who decided to leave - if she does - she walks & is on her own! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

adam_ant30	have u tried a marriage counselor maybe they could help Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

shopaholic2008	I can only imagine how you must be feeling! My boyfriend and I of two years just split up last night (he's 30 and im 26). Have you suggested councilling (sp?)? I'm sure you have. I know this is hard to imagine, but, there is nothing worse than being with someone who doesn't want to be with you. It sucks, I know, and the future looks scary. My brother and his wife (also of 7 years) split up when he was 30, they had one child. He is now happily remarried. Sometimes thinks work out for the best. You have to let her go, meanwhile, consult a lawyer...and do things to keep yourself healthy. Go to the gym, take a hike, play with your children. I wish you the best of luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jdiddley	I am sincerely sorry for what is happening to you. I honestly know how you feel. I don't know if it helps to say I've been there, but I have. You already know you can't make someone love you. This is a truly unfortunate situation for all involved. My advise would be to get away from her as soon as possible. You will not be able to start the grieving process while living under the same roof. It is too confusing and painful. You have to get away from her so that you may start to heal. Also, everything you say/do is behavior modeling for the kids. They will need to see healthy relationships in order to have healthy relationships themselves. This will sound a bit cliche but it is so true: you deserve better than this! Do you really want to be with someone that doesn't love you 110%? Why should you want her when there are opportunities for you to have someone that's absolutely crazy for you? I was in your situation for ten years. When I look back I'm really sorry that I waited so long to leave. I'm really sorry for the way it affected his kids. I'm really sorry I didn't marry my current husband 14 years ago. I had no idea how happy I could be. I wake up every day and am grateful for the life that I now have. Reach out to others. They will help you. You didn't have to do anything wrong to make her stop loving you. She just did. You are not a bad person. You deserve better. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

lisa w	If she truly wants to be free then you should let her go. she will realize that she has made a mistake eventually. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

48Special	Have you heard of the saying If you love something set it free, if it comes back it's yours, if it dosen't it never was. If you let her go and she comes back she's yours and if she dosen't she never will be. Might be time to move on!! Good Luck!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

bigkittenone70	I would never tell anyone to leave their partner, but there is no need to stay in an unhealthy relationship,the only thing you can do right now for her is nothing.we as woman have to find our self after having children so close in age. she might just need a break from every thing and every boby. maybe just a girls nite out without worrying about you or the two children.don't worry if should really wanted to leave you she would be gone.love her,but don't take her space. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

chamita	ok, you know like my grandmother said no body see what they have until they loose it. I explain women get always complicate, we always want someone crazy someone who knows more and teach us something, be the macho in the family ("be the man") You know i did the same thing with one of my boyfriends he was um... too good for me. "kind of boring" too angel but you know i retrieved my words because he spoiled it me a lot and know i miss him. Just give her some time. After, a while she would realized that like you wont be anywhere else. It is very difficult to find someone like you nice, not alcoholic, not a smoker or abusive. Dont worry one day she would understand. But for the moment you need to give this love that you were giving to her to yourself get a hobby and a nice friend that would help you too get yourself out of her. hope you feel better. bye Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

♥-Sara-♥	Sounds to me that she is foolish, I think you sound like an amazing person! Maybe she just needs time and space, give it to her, Let her see what its like to be apart. I know it sounds cliche' but, If she comes back to you, its meant to be. I also think that if this is the reason, she is thinking about herself and not your family, there are children involved and that is a big part of you and her! Maybe you can talk to someone -- it may help. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Suthern R	This sounds cold and callous, but it will help you see if there is any true feelings left in her. Sounds like she is more bored than unhappy and looking for some kind of spark to liven things up and she is mistaking the same old routine of life as being unhappy and no longer in love. First thing you need to do is just flat out ignore her unless it has to do with the children or something important, like paying the bills. Don't chase her, don't beg her, don't ask her for her help on anything. Just do what you need to do and be 100% totally happy without any interaction from her at all. Next, tomorrow, make sure she is going to be home with the kids, and plan to go out. Don't tell her where you are going, don't tell her when you will be home, don't tell her who you will be with or what you will be doing. Just come home, make sure the kids are taken care of and go. If she asks where you are going, just say you are going out since your marriage is over. Explain nothing else, just go. Remember this: She is not your mother and you do not have to answer to her at all. If she gets mad at you when you get back, just ask her why it matters to her if your marriage is over and she wants out? Take full control of this and put her on the defensive. If she says she does not mean it and she wants to work it out, do not give in right away, still remain distant and tell her that you are afraid she will just change her mind and you are not convinced her feelings have really changed. This will take her out of that comfort zone she is in and if she really does love you, she will fight to get back in it. If she does not care and could give a rip that you go, are gone or what you are doing, then you will have to accept the fact that she really does not care any longer and decide what to do from there. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cee	call her bluff! okie dokie hon, theres the door, go make it without me. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

timothy e	angelboy usally when women say they are done in a relationship thats what they mean i was married for 5 yrs and mine did the same thing but she had a bf on the side i know what you are going through ive been through it myself Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

MomOfMEY	Wow...i'm very sorry to hear that. Is there another man in the picture? I know she said she needs to find her happiness, but I find that hard to believe. It sounds like you did everything right, so don't beat yourself up over it. Counseling might help, but if she is determined that it's over, it probably won't get through to her. Good luck with everything. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

tinyblondie23	Live sucks sometimes, you just need to stick it out, be nice, be yourself, maybe she will change her mind...(don't help her save money!)LOL you can't make someone love you and it is not fair to yourself if she stays and doesn't love you...I hope she will fall in love with you all over again and see what a good man she has!! God bless Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

gilgamesh	The more you push her to stay, the more it'll push her away. Maybe suggest that you two just take a break and spend some time away from each other. Give her a chance to see if that's what she really wants. She may realize that you really are the one for her. She may not. But if she's wanting to escape, stifling and smothering her isn't going to help your cause. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

NEWPORT BEACH GIRL	OH WOW! hmmm... this is a tough question. really it is. i can start by telling you that you can not make a person love you like you want them to. i know that sounds discouraging, but it is true...but what you can do it continue to have a loving relationship with your kids and keep on being a nice person and focus on the kids and other good qualities in your life. pray and/or go to church. go to therapy for your self....maybe ...just maybe eventually your wife might come around...and if not...don't beat your self up about it because at least you tried...ie: therapy,church, prayer, being good to the kids and other etc...so just follow your heart and of course your head too....to steer you in the right direction...hope i at least lifted your spirits a little bit. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

LA Law	Were there no precursor signs to indicate that she was feeling this way? Is it too late to attempt marriage counseling? Is she already with another man? If she has already made up her mind, you might want to just go ahead and step away and maintain your dignity. People fall out of love with each other. Continue to communicate with both her and your children; especially the children because they really need a lot of reassurance that they weren't the cause of all of this. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

swrong	I'm so sorry, I'm sure you're really torn up inside. What about marriage counseling? If she's already to the point of saying, "it's over", it probably is. It would have been nice if she'd have told you early on that there was a problem, maybe then y'all could have fixed it. You are not at fault for this, you sound like you've been a great husband and father. I know you love her, but I don't think you'd be happy living with someone who doesn't love you back. I'm sure you'll find someone else who will love and appreciate you the way you deserve to be. Hugs. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Why not me	I know this is hurtful, but you need to realize that this situation is just the way it is, from your Wife's standpoint. You now have choices and you CAN find another person who would share the same needs as you have, and it's OK. This IS not in any way selfish nor unreasonable. Like the songs says " I can't make you love me if you don't" Those are very true words that your wife spoke to you, believe me I know. That's the way it is! To me, I feel that some people marry because they "settle" for the other person, and it might be ok at the time, but, at times, people "outgrow" each other as getting older and no one is at fault for this. We all change some way or another. So it's about the children now, Love will find you when and where you least expect it! Who knows maybe even from your wife again. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Мəəĸά	Well I am sorry to hear that, but you can't make someone love you. If she has decided that she needs to move on and find happiness elsewhere, there's little you can do. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

JuDyLicious	I'm so sorry you've been going through this nightmare, however, the only thing going for you righ tnow is time. If you gave her time without trying to persuade her otherwise, maybe she'll have a change of heart after she leaves with the kids? Women will say certain things and sound like they mean it, but in fact, they're most likely confused. I hope your marriage will end up working itself out. Good luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

ash280518	See if you can get her to go to marriage counseling. Sounds like she may be having some internal issues that may not have anything to do with you. If the both of you could go to marriage counseling then maybe the both of you could discover some issues/needs that you may have no clue about. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

8 - ßăļļ	this is going to sound corny, but if you love her let her go... you cant make her love you, but you can make her hate you.... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

loulu	Unfortunately, you can't make her stay and you can't change how she feels. Maybe she is just going though a phase. Let her move on, and find happiness within yourself and your wonderful children. Life will go on with or without her. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

@@@@@	I would suggest to talk to your pastor if you are a Christian or possibly a therapist. It seems like a lame reason to leave you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

JeffyB	I hear you, but if someone truly does not love you, there is no way to "make that happen" unfortunately. Eventually you will realize that you need to have someone who feels the same way about you, as you do about them. You deserve that. Maybe some counseling could help you both define the issues, but it can't make her love you if she doesn't/ Good Luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jbuns	My husband and I separted a couple of years ago (he left me). We also had a child and had to put off divorce for financial reasons. I took advantage of that time to get myself together. I realized that I had put so much of my time and energy into our child but not into our marriage. There just wasn't much there anymore. So I started going to counseling on my own. It was very helpful. In the beginning I was hoping it was the answer to saving my marriage but after a while it stopped being about him and became more about me and my own personal happiness. I could not get my husband to go to counseling with me. I couldn't even get him to do a phone session with my counselor. I continued my counseling and read a lot of books on marriage and separation. I found that the more I tried to hang on to him, the farther I pushed him away. I saw a divorce lawyer. I had the papers. I just couldn't do it. This went on over the course of a year. We continued to see each other and talk almost daily because of our son. We did family functions together because of our son. Then the most amazing thing happened, we started wanting to do things together because of each other. Somehow, we found our spark again. It wasn't until I stopped focusing on him that he became interested in me again. So, basically, you need to focus on you and your kids and not on her. Don't try to keep her close to you, let her go if that is what she wants. Don't pursue her but let her know that you still love her and want to work on your marriage. Start seeing a counselor on your own. Check out these two books: The Five Love Languages, Hope for the Separated - both by Gary Chapman. He is a Christian author but if that is not your thing you can breeze over those parts and still get some really good info. You will get through this. It is tough but whether you guys are able to work it out or you end up divorcing, there is a better life out there for you than what you have now which is living with someone who doesn't value you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No