I'm separated and about to divorce, but I told my new girlfriend that I'm already divorced... big deal or no?

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pearlmarieblossom	OK you didn't tell her the truth at first because you thought you would lose her. You've known her a while now, how picky is she about details? On the one hand if you trust her and you know you're both in love, she should be able to handle the truth. On the other hand, they say some things are best kept as secrets even from our most trusted friends. You are the only one that can make a decision like this. If there is any possibility she might find it out from a family member or friend, be extra cautious. What I would do, I don't know. I'm just offering you suggestions and things to think about. Good luck, I'm sure you're not the first person to be in this position and you won't be the last. I hope everything works out well for you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sir Richard	If she thinks like you, she will also tell you a convenient truth. She will remind you of this lie for many many years to come, or she will use this against you somewhere down the pipe. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

queen B.	Yes! it is a big deal, for several reasons. 1. You lied to her. 2. You were still married at the time of dating her so she is going to feel that if you could cheat on your wife how can she trust you not to cheat on her.3.If you feel that she is perfect then you are in a world of trouble. Be honest and tell the Truth and deal with the out come. She might leave and then again she might forgive you and give you another chance. Lesson: If you love someone you shouldn't never keep anything from them no matter how much you messed up. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Collard	OK coming from a woman. YES it is a HUGE deal you can't base your relationship on a lie. Which is what you did. You should tell her the truth. She has a right to know and how she chooses to handle it you should except. When I started dating the man I am with right now he know that my divorce was not final. And I knew that he was still married. We have been happy for the 2 years we have been dating. Collard Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Corona	Ok, here's the deal. The lie you told isn't that huge of a deal, but the fact that you don't feel you can be honest with this girl concerns me. Are you scared of her? I mean, I don't understand how you can honestly say your in love with this person when she makes you feel, for whatever reason, that you aren't able to tell her the truth about things. Believe me, there will ALWAYS be things in your relationship that you will want to lie about, but you should be able to feel secure enough about the person your with, knowing they aren't going to leave you at the drop of a hat because of normal things that happen. By this point, I honestly wouldn't confess this one...just let this lie go, but in the future, just tell her how it is and trust that she isn't going to walk out the door because if she is going to walk out that easy, you don't need her anyway. Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

luckystar	it is a big deal, you start a new life with this women with a lie and that huge because it about trust , and if she feel that she cant trust you, then she may start to think what else is he lying about. honestly is all way the best policy. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Vol	Been there. Done that. You have to tell her the truth. Explain to her that you were not completely honest with her and that you had no bad intentions with her. My experience -- I was embarassed about having the failed marriage for some reason. I told her this before my marriage was completely done. I explained that I didnt tell her the whole truth because I thought she may see me differently because I was going through a failed marriage and she may think that I was choosing her on a rebound. She completely understood and we got past the experience with no problems. The best thing to do is be honest with her now. If she truly cares for you, she will understand. Make sure that you let he know that she is not a rebound. If you have been seperated from your wife for 7 months, explain that to her and that you were only going through the motions before the divorce was final. If she truly loves you, she will not hold a grudge for something you cant control and she should understand your reasoning for not telling her the whole truth. Tell her how much you care for her and that you want her in your life. Let her know that you were afraid that she wouldnt be in your life if you would have told the truth. Best of luck to you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Chris R	Very big deal... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

two_kee_kees	Uhhh... Yeah you should have told her the truth. You need to tell her now. The sooner the better. She's going to be really mad probably, but if you explain that the marriage has been over for 7 months she might understand. Tell her the truth! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Magaroni	I don't know if there is any way she can find out, but that's a great question for your divorce lawyer. I don't see any benefit in telling her the truth now, though. The lie wasn't earth shattering, and you're both completely committed to the relationship now. Let it go. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Carli's Game	OK, BE HONEST AND BRING THE PAPERS WITH YOU. TELL HER YOU TOLD HER A QUICK WHITE LIE BECAUSE YOU LOVE HER AND YOU WANT TO MOVE ON WITH HER, SO SHOW HER THE PAPERS AND SHE'LL BE FINE..JUST SOME PROOF SO YOU DON'T COME OFF LIKE A BLOKE. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

oracleofohio	Yes its a big deal. You lied and you lied easily. You need to think about why you lied and then come clean with her. I'm sure if you understand what led you to lie and explain it to her she'll be okay with it. She will probably respect the fact that it was bothering you. Honesty is always best. I'm sure you had a reason to have this reflex to lie. Work it out in your own mind and explain to her what you're going through. If she's as great as you say she is, I don't think this will be a deal breaker as long as you never lie again! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

miraclebeliever99	yes, it's a big deal. if she know the truth, she will think that you divorce because of her. i know that if someone fall in love they will do anything to have her. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sunshine	this is a big deal to a woman. a relationship is all about trust for a woman. you need to let her know now before you further your relationship and explain to her why you didnt tell her the whole story in the beginning. hopefully for you, she will be understanding and not end things. but if you continue to withhold the info and she finds out later....it could really be the end. if she finds out that you lied to her about that later on in the relationship..it will make her doubt you from that point on and she will constantly wonder what other things you are lying to her about! you need to tell her now...if she is the great woman that you say she is, then she will understand that the reason you didnt say anything in the beginning is because it was a new relationship and that you didnt know how long or far it would go. that would be understandable. Goood Luck! but always tell her everything...women need all the details..i dont know why,,we just do! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Julie ♫	Your best bet is to tell her the truth NOW. Apologize like crazy, tell her you will NEVER lie to her again. Tell her it has been driving you crazy knowing that you lied to her. Then, NEVER lie to her again. If you don't tell her, she will eventually find out. Things just have a way of coming out. If you don't tell her, when she finds out she will question EVERY thing that you have ever told her. Buck up and get it over with. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

48Special	Come clean!!! Tell her the truth!! Just tell her that you lied because you really liked her and were afraid of losing her right away.I'm sure she'll understand. But you'll feel better if you just tell her the truth. Not a good way to start out a relationship( by lying) with someone your so amazed with!!!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Maggie	tell her everything - and do it now, being frugal with the truth will only spell disaster in the end. she will probably laugh at you, and say hey its ok - but at least you will have dealt with it in an honest way, which can only attract a bonus for you. it really is not a big deal, so deal to it to make sure it never becomes a big deal Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

allenbmeangene	I know I'm shutting the barn door after the horse has escaped here, but you should have told your girlfriend to begin with that you were separated. What you should do now ---this very minute--- is go back to your girlfriend and tell her how you screwed up. And if she dumps you, you brought it on yourself. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot	If you can't be honest with her about whether or not you are/were legally married, maybe you're not ready for another relationship? Personally, I would've run the other way if I heard the word "divorced" when I was single and ready to settle down, so you've already got farther with her than you would've with me. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sidekick	Starting out by being disonest is not the way to start a new relationship it will turn around and bite you in the but, be honest. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

califdreamer_2000	Wow, Not a good thing to have said to her. You made her the other woman, mistress, bi**h, etc. YOU WERE MARRIED! Still are till next week. So you continue to lie. Yet you say you love her. If she is as good as you say, then you must come clean and hope for the best. If I was placed in this situation, I'd leave. Any decent woman would. Now if you think you can hide it, think again. Lies always come out. If you plan on marrying her, you will have to show your divorce papers and she will see the dates and put two and two together. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Fefe	Coming frm my POV, it's a total big deal, but not so big that i wouldn't forgive you like 3 minutes later. If she's as amazing as you think she is, tell her the truth. But you must remember that she might be a bit upset about it for a while. And if she asks you why you didn't tell her the truth you must be honest about it. Lets say that you don't tell her and she finds out from someone else that you really weren't divorced when you told her that you were, she will really be upset then, it may even cause you 2 to break up and i wouldn't want that for you, honestly Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Tiare	come clean and tell the truth. it really is not that big of a deal since divorce is almost final, but this is not the way to start out. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Clawndike	Big Big Deal. There is no way to hide this one. It's going to be a matter of public record. All your gf has to do is go down to the court house and find out you lied. Sit her down. Tell her you weren't truly honest. Buy her flowers. Get yelled at. Take your lumps. I would make sure you tell her after everything is final. I don't think you'll lose her over this, but it'll be a lot worse if she finds out on her own. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

melody	No it's not a "big deal"....IT'S HUGE!!! How can you claim to be completely in love with her when you're already basing the relationship on a lie? DSo you know how awful she would feel knowing that you are keeping such a large secret from her? Look, get it out on the table. Be honest. Tell her you made a stupid error in judgement and you are so sorry. I'd set you out on your ***, but she may be in love enough with you to forgive you. Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

blue_dragon	You should admit to her that you haven't been completely honest and confess. It is never easy to hear that you have been lied to. Especially for this long. I would let her know before she finds out. There are too many chances that she will find out by herself. Such as your parents bring it up or a friend mentions it in front of the two of you. You can't hide the lie forever. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

matsystud	a lie is never a good start! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

wld_jkr	It's a big deal. It's about trust and honesty. You need to come clean with her ASAP and if she's as wonderful as you think she may understand. You can't build a relationship on false pretenses. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

daljack -a girl	You started a relationship with a lie. You need to come clean and hope that she can learn to trust you again. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

FredHH	Yep... its a big deal. You have proven that you are a liar. What will you lie about next? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

8 Track Mind	when she finds out, you will be ex times two Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No