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First L
How do I trust my husband again after he cheated and gave me herpes?
My husband has admitted he cheated and has tried everything within his power to gain my trust again. He has now begun a "freindship" with another woman. How do I get past all of the hurt and resentment.



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lamonteford@sbcglobal.net
First of all, you need to realize that herpes is not the end of the world. Grab a hold to what God has delt you and grow from it. Secondly, you must learn to trust yourself. Believe that you are still the best women in the world and that no body can ever treat him the way you do. Obviously who ever he cheated with was not worth changing his life for. You must learn how to love him for the man that you fell in love with, the man that was able to admit his faults to you, and also the man that he is trying to be now for YOU. Like the coined phrase "kill them with kindness", love him even the more for is wrong doings. That is the true meaning of unconditional love. Also, I recommend, that you make yourself his best friend. Become interested in things that he likes and discuss them with him. Gain all of his attention, leaving no room for others. Most of all, know that you are doing nothing wrong by hurting. It is a pain that last seemingly a lifetime and that you did not bring upon yourself. It takes time to heal and don't think that it will happen overnight. Open yourself up to forgive. Look only to the future and not to the things that have happened in the past. Build your bridge on a steady foundation. Most importantly "look to the hills which cometh your help", and "lean it on an everlasting love". Trust only in the Lord and believe that he will not fail you. This is coming from someone in the same situation. I have both HIV and Genitle Herpes. Be strong. If no one else has told you that they love, know that God loves you and so do I. Be strong. God Bless You!!!

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Courtney
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NO offense here, but he sounds like he is not trying very hard to earn your trust if he has started another "friendship". I would pack my bags.

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daljack -a girl
I would leave.....and I don't usually say that.

Not just because he cheated but because he didn't care about my health enough to protect me from what could have been AIDS.

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April
Rating
Herpes is the least of your problem......

if marriage is admiration, respect, passion and trust, hon, the trust is gone, he pronged another lady (how does one EVER get by that visual) and the admiration and respect are in the toilet too. I'm constantly amazed at what spouses put up with in another spouse. (assuning that this is even a real question.....)Hon, you don't have a marriage, you have a roommate.... and you are "the jerk in reserve". He stays because it is convenient...... If you want to save this marriage, he must want to too. And that means therapy, and you are looking at two years, with no guarantees....... ask any therapist.

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p00756
I could never trust someone who cheated and gave me herpes. However, who else wants to have sex with you now so I guess you two are stuck with each other.

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whocarez
Rating
Don't trust him again (for what) leave him!!!!!

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free_angel
Push him past the door and never let him back him.

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bronzebabekentucky
Rating
DIVORCE HIM! wow!
he will NEVER stop

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pinelake302
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First go to this web site: http://neveranoutbreak.com/

Then tell him that if he is going to have an affair then you should be allowed to as well. Go to and read this site and use it to discuss this with him: http://inkaboutit.homestead.com/affairs.html

Then if all else fails, you have two choices: 1. Totally forgive him and never bring up the subject again regardless! 2. Leave him and divorce him.

Is this a different answer? yes, it is, but with some help for you I hope. If you would like more information please email me through YA. I will answer anyone's inquiry.

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chevy
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fook that crap ...flie for divorce!!!!!!!!!!!

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abc
Rating
can I assume you LEFT him? that's how you get past it.....

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Smiles
Rating
OMG are you me? LOL


First I dont think you get over this sitaution so quick. It has been ayear for me and I aint thinking about gettting back with that playa. Next, herpes is for life fool!! Finally, a new woman friend for him!!! Woman!!! Wake up, this cat aint changed, he just knows he can do this and get away with it because you kept his cheating *** and didnt set any new boundaries like, HELLO no gal friends till my trust is renewed to you , plus if he has any sense he wouldnt need no gal friend he married you, he should have male friends to keep it safe especially since he lacks self control ......can you hear me hermana!!!

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smecky809042003
Honestly, I don't think it is at all possible. All you can do is TRY ... good luck, Darlin'.

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minalerie
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You don't. He cheated, and he did it unprotected....and gave you herpes!!! He might get the new one knocked up. You DON'T need him!!!

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Shy Girl S
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He's begun another friendship? Oh my! This is not a good sign....I don't think you can ever trust him again I mean, he's hardly making an effort here, isn't he?!

He's cheated once and he's on a roll....either put up with his adulterous ways, or leave him.

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keekee69
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We try so hard to hold on to things that are already gone so we won't have to be alone.But in fact he is not alone and he continues to make it his job not to be.Once the trust is gone you already know Herpes today aids tomorrow. You deserve more than that a matter of fact you owe it to your self to be good to yourself.Sister you are stronger than you give yourself credit for life is too short.

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Natasha T
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Why are you back together?? Once a cheater always a cheater!! he's already showing you AGAIN you can't trust him. Just leave him, love or not don't lower yourself like that! There is a man out there that will love you and everything about you and won't need another woman on theside to keep him happy!!! You can't find him with this LOSER!!!!

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Flying w/ scissors
Rating
It's so hard to answer that question. Counseling is the only thing I can say... With his history I'm surprised that he would form a friendship another woman seeing the circumstances of the past, He's really not doing everything in his power to earn your trust seeing that he's making friends with another woman. When people are married, there friends are friends of both of you. Married people should not make friends with people of the opposite sex,,, hanging out, going to a friendly lunch, meeting for dinner, etc. That's how affairs start. And the fact that he gave you herpes is a issue all by it self. Every time you get a out break the fact of him cheating will be stuck in the back of your mind... If he insist on being friends with other women then you might want to think about see a lawyer. He could bring home AIDS next time...

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Lydia
Sorry, hun, just wouldn't and couldn't do it - I'd run. (and I take marriage VERY seriously)

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Yvette D
Rating
That's something he must try to get back.....He should be the one working hard on regaining your trust......It's seems like building a:"freindship" with another woman is more important than the respect he has for you.....I think you really need to sort out your feelings and decide if you truly want to live your life like this.....It's not healthy nor is it derserving for you neither...
I really wish you the best...

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Chris F
You both have to go to canceling together

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h2gj87
Rating
I think that if you want to stay with him, the only way you can get past all those feelings is if he helps you. He has to put in 100% effort into gaining your trust back. If he doesn't try, then it wont happen. you cant do this on your own. Unless you leave him, then you can forget this terrible event. Speaking from experience, its best to leave him. You said he has this 'friendship' with another woman and that, my friend, doesnt sound like he's trying too hard to fix what he did in the past. You deserve better.

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david
Rating
Sounds like he is a no good dog. I am sorry to hear what that bastard did to you. Dump that SOB!

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Mandi
Rating
You do not continue, broken trust is broken trust.
Find someone who really likes you very much and sticks to you.

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bigj
run far and fast

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Bobbie4u
You don't have to live like that...the choice is yours.

You can have a much better life....don't settle for this abuse.

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molly
I don't think you do - leave him.

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ken j
Rating
you answered your own question he cheated and gave you std and you still want him jesus mother leave him now!

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Switch
Rating
Get a divorce before he leaves you for this new friend.

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jamonit
Rating
Depends.
Do you really want things to work out or not?
If so, the two of you all need to talk this out maybe, even with a counselor.
If he is starting other friendships with women, then it will be hard to trust him again, but the fact that you are still with him means you still want to be with him.
You really need to work together to get the behavior desired by the two of you.
If that cannot be done, its a lost cause. You may stay together, but you will not be happy.

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klaudia
Rating
I have been there done that. Only time can heal alot of time in this case. If he got away with it once belive he will do it
again. Take it from me I left after 10 years of unfaithfulness
I am so glad I did! Good luck . The pain is always there.
It just fades with time.

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