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redhead24
How can i learn to obey m husband?
my husband says i should obey him how can i learn to obey him
Additional Details
my husband say that i should be seen and not heard and that i should honour and obey him am not allowed to speak unless spoken to



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YaWhoDee
Rating
He's a control freak. Instead of taking time out to learn what should be an unnecessary skill maybe you should work on your exit from this marriage plan.

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starrfyrre
Obey? They don't even include that in the marriage vows anymore. In olden days wives were considered their husband's property. That is no longer true, hence the dropping of "obey" in the marriage vows. Tell your husband if he wants someone to obey someone, he can obey you.

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ww2oddball
dont obey what doesnt seem right. if he persists in showing a control freak nature you will regrety it. tell him its time for counselling or a divorce.

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Richard G
Rating
are you joking obey your husband come on this is 2008 everything is equal .....you need to stand up for yourself i dont care what culture race or anthing your from that word obey is not even in the marriage vows anymore come on stnd up for yourself have nore respect for your self

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josette j
what you don't need to obey your husband you to probably need to learn to compromise a bit i dare my husband to say that to me no way but what we have done is to learn the art of agreeing to disagree and the art of compromise where if he wants something then i do it but he has to offer me the same respect i show him marriage isn't about one person doing what the other one says its about both parties living together and working towards the same goals. the question is kind of non detailed is he saying it because you are always fighting and its a solution or is he being controlling and he wants things done a certain way i can say if its because you are always fighting then maybe hes just ready to end the fights and he feels like he knows more about what hes saying i do the same thing to my husband i have had a lot more experience with some things and i have to do the i told you so so many times that i feel like if hed just listen things would be alot smoother but if its just him being controlling then the best way to obey him is to take the time to understand what he wants and make it happen before he says it which is one thing i do but its because i love my husband and want him to be happy and his happiness is our happiness but if you are with that controlling of a man you need to ask yourself if obeying him is going to make you happy because doing things out of love and obligation are to different things

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twinleelee
Rating
its not called obeying, a dog obeys. Its called being submissive. but does he treat you well enough to be submissive. if he is doing all the things you need and gives all you want girl learn your role and that is ROLE PLAY. pretend he the boss and go from there if he doesnt give you your need mentally, spiritually, financially or even sexually hes got a problem. REMBER what do these diagnosis have in common:
menstruation
menopause
mental anxiety (problem: MEN)

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Diana
If you think he's right and you should have to obey him, then I would suggest counseling for you. You deserve better.

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Crystal G
sweetie you need to know that DOGS OBEY, human beings LISTEN. your husband need to learn the difference first and you need to also learn the difference. maybe you need to learn to listen more and talk less. try marriage counseling. GodBless

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robin
Rating
this is a free country and women are to be heard just as much as a man so talk to him about this and if he dont like it well then honey all i can say is get out and leave nobody needs to be treated that way

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Admin Queen
Is it a Christian thing? What behaviours is he looking for mroe obedience about?

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sulaimaan ibn ya'quub
Rating
wow' divorce him & become my 3rd. wife!!!

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thierrysmum
marriage is not about obeying its about mutual respect something that your husband does not have for you.sounds like a very unhappy marraige to me.

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yvonne p
OBEY HIM?? Ha, what an idiot you married, you have your own life to lead, with choices you make yourself, you should be seen & heard, you are a human being, what your going through is mental abuse, next it may turn into physical abuse, & in this day & age no-one has to go through this, there is help out there & I advise you to seek that help ASAP. Good luck.

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Kari
Obey him? What culture are you from? You don't have to obey anybody.

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Louise C
Your husband does not sound very kind and loving to me. Making you eat in a different room , not letting you speak unles she does first, is not very warm. If he wants obedience he needs to cherish you more. Remember the Bible says 'wives, submit unto your husband's, but it then says 'husbands, love your wives as your own bodies.' is he loving you as his own body? It doesn't sound like it to me.

It is easier to obey if you feel respect and affection for the man you are trying to obey. You cannot feel either if he goes on treating you the way he is. There is no reason why you should not be able to speak whenever you like, so long as you are respectful. You need to sit down with him and have a serious talk about this. Explain that it takes two to make a good relationship, and that he is not making it very easy for you.

He needs to consider your wishes and opinions as well as his own. Remember, God said to Abraham "Listen to your wife". he's not treating you the way he should.

I am also somewhat disturbed about the corporal punishment. Is this something you consented to? He does not have any right to cane you unless it is with your consent. If you are not happy with this arrangement, then you need to tell him that you aren't. Domestic discipline can improve a relationship if it something that you desire, but if you don't then it can only set up barriers between you.

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Tulip
Rating
Why should you obey him?? Is he going to take his turn and obey you on some things??

Relationships are about being on an equal footing, treating each other with respect and being fair.

You don't say if you are from a culture when women do still obey men, or whether you are from a different culture to your husband? If you are then this can be a bit different because in some cultures and religions men do still have a bit of power over their wifes.

If the above is not the case then maybe your husband is a bit chauvanistic, in that he doesn't believe women should be treated as equals.

Or, maybe he is just lazy and that's why he wants you to obey him so that you do all the chores and he does nothing.

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celticdreadess
I'm not sure how to answer this one and I probably shouldn't, its making me cross, but why do you have to blindly obey. You are your own person. What happened to him respecting you and listening to some of your opinions. He is not better than you. Just a man who hopefully you love and can repect, but obey. He sounds demanding and controlling with that one. Isn't that a bit archaic? I have to stop now or I'll rant on a soap box.

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srcymck
ok master but I don't iron!

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xenonvalkyrie
Rating
Are you married to David G???? He has been asking about "domestic discipline". Tell him you would "obey" him when he obeys you! Actually, forget about being "his good little woman" and get the hell outta there! I think I am in a similar situation. The pig that I am married to demands that I get the ironing done, he uses my wages to pay his bills, ~I don't have a bank card to access my wages. But he says that I have to pay the rent, council tax, TV licence, water rates, pre-school fees for my young son, bus fare for my eldest so he could go to school, and whatever is left , goes on food! Bloody laughable when I work part time and he works full time. He had wound me up this morning as he had calculated his income and outgoings, and says he has about £120 a WEEK left over!!!!!!

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CindyLu
OBEY? What century is he living in. Girlfriend forget that obey nonsense and if he wants to stick with it, you need a new husband. Women are liberated in this country and we do not need to OBEY anyone including husbands. Get this guy into the new millennium or you get yourself an old fashioned divorce.

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trixxxy_23
nono, you don't need to "obey" your husband. i mean do you actually want to obey him like your some dog in training? That is your mutual partner in life, there should be NO reason to him dissrespecting you like that. Your not a dam slave...unless you like that kind of stuff

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lala52877
I guess it depends on what he means by obey. If he's asking you to do something demeaning, then no, he's an idiot and a control freak.
Other than that, all I can tell you is to consider carefully everything he says and decide whether it is right for you.

obey is a stupid word, btw, should only be used for animals and children.

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castmom24
Rating
sorry but this is 2008!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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shawyen
You don't... you two are equals. Love and understanding not obey!

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Labsci
I'm sorry, but your question belongs in the "Dark Ages" category.
My wife would be horrified to think that she should obey me. A life of subjugation is not much of a life. It leads to an abuse of power. Speak now, or forever hold your peace - in silent suffering.
.

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honey
You can't learn this kind of thing. You have to be born this way.

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DW
Rating
Don't bother, learn how to drop his ***! That's some seriously old school shite right there...

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leeanne t
OBEY " MY ****" THE WORLDS FULL OF IDIOTS!!!!!!

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Daisy29
Rating
hahahahahahahahahahaha

A redhead OBEY?


Bwahhahahahahahahaha. OMG, I think I just peed a little.

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f0xymoron
Rating
I can only assume this is some "I'm bored and can't think of what to say" question as surely if you're for real, and wanted to "obey" someone so controlling, you would just do it - ie. just do whatever they say you should. If, on the other hand, this is for real, then instead of obeying, you should be off to the solicitor.

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FRANCO
Just do everything he tells you to do, clean house, cook for him, take care of his every need, sex on demand, oral and anything else he pleases.
Every woman should OBEY their husbands, it's even in the Bible. As the man is the head of the family...!

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