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 Is it ok for my new husband to still have things from his first marriage?
My new husband has been married once before, but this is my first marriage so I'm not quite sure what the rules are. His marriage ended in a very messy divorce and he can't stand to talk ...

 Are you married and at what age did you get married at?

 Should I give up on my Marriage of 10 years or should give him yet another chance?
I found out in March that my husband had an affair in 2005 and possibly fatherered a child (we have two children together). He went back to America to try to 'make things better for us' ...

 Is it wrong to continuously let a married man contact you if you're single?
If you let a married man who's interested in you keep contacting you and you have no intentions of having an affair with him, is this wrong? Will he expect more?...

 Would this upset you?
If your wife/husband took your credit card and charged up over $500.00? They did not ask you, just took. Would this upset you?...

 My BF dumped me & patched up with his cheating wife for their kid's sake. I love him. What should I do now?
I started dating a man when he was in divorce process.His wife had cheated on him & abused him several times.We were happy & planning marriage. But now he has patched up with his wife for the ...

 I found more texts between husband and ex mistress from last month, help?
So yes this is still after they finished with each other; and even though he tried to get her back, I don't think they ever did and she changed her number recently.

However I found ...

 Who thinks my husband is cheating?
He works 2nd shift. he usually gets out at 12 a.m. but tonight he called around 1 and told me that his car started acting funny and that he was going to spend the night over at his friends house. he ...

 HELP!!! I'm in love witha married man.?
I've known "Mike" over half my life and have always had feelings for him. When we were younger, I kinda dumped him because I was young and immature. I got married young..had kids and ...

 Just came home found the wife flirting threw her out was i right?

 I did NOT cheat!?
My boyfriend and I were together for about 6 months and out of the blue he said he didnt want to see me anymore and that was that. No answers no nothing. I tried and tried to get ahold of him and see ...

 What would be your reaction to finding out that your soon to be ex-husband was now dating his mistress?

 Women: What age did you meet you husband at?

 What will you do if your husband doesnt talk to you for a week, but eat your food and sleeps in the sofa?
husband stops talking all of a sudden, he will eat the food i cook and drop me at work but won't talk to me....

 For couples living together: How often do u have sex?
How often do you have sex with your partner?
Please also answer:
How old are you? For how long have you been together? Are you satisfied with the frequency or u would like it to be ...

 Why do some wemon have alot of sex when dating, then stop when they get married?

 If you are in love with your spouse but no sex is it ok to sleep with someone you do not love?
as in have an affair... if it is just sex not love...because you can't get sex in your marriage ... i just do not want my husband after years of 'trying' and him turning me down...is ...

 Married people only please...?
this is just out of curiosity. How many of you would cheat on your spouse if there was absolutely no way for them to find out? I mean it was foolproof, you were guaranteed the wouldnt find out? and ...

 I think my husband is seeing someone, what am i going to do?

 Honest answers please.?
ok i know i'm gonna get the holier than thou types, but save it. I've heard it all before. here's the situation...i've been engaged for over a year which is fine. i don't ...

He Says he will kill himself if i leave him?
I've been with my boyfriend for years now and recently hes changed so much started doing drugs and drinking, Hes also started forgetting me a lot and hanging out with friends then telling me he wants to make me so ugly no one will want me. But whenever i try to break up with him he tells me he will kill himself if i leave, I love him I really do.

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WOW you have a winner here !!!!! drugs, drinking, wants you ugly,, but you love him ???? are you stupid ???Tell his parents what he said.

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Red Rose
He's a lousy boyfriend leave him.

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Mrs. Robinson
if someone chooses to do that it is on them. its the purest form of guilt. hey i can do what i want but if you leave ill kill myself.

well, let the cards fall where they may. if he does, it is not your responsibility - nor your fault. Next time he does it, call the police and they will commit him for a couple days. Dont play his game. Dont let him hold you captive to a b/s excuse.

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Precious J
Get him some much needed help.

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You need to meet with his parents privately, tell them that you do care about their son, but he has become involved with drugs, and those drugs have changed him completely. Tell them what he has threatened to do to, and what he has threatened to do to himself if you break up with him. Tell them that you can no longer deal with or live this type of life, and that you have chosen to tell them because you do care, and do not want anything to happen to him, but for your safety, you have to leave.

while he is out, begin packing and removing your things to a place or a friend that he does not know, make sure that you tell your family that he is not to know where you are because he has threatened to hurt you. change cell phone number so he cannot call you. But you have to get out as fast as you can b4 he does actually hurt you.....what he is doing to you is a form of control, and as long as you stay you are allowing him to control you.....it is time for you to be happy, without being controlled. You control you, don't let him do this to you, as long as you tell his family and your family what he is involved, and his threats......then the matter is in their hands, and it is up to his family to get him help.....It is not your fault that he is drinking and doing drugs. move on and be happy.

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Been there, done that. I was married to one of them for 7 years, I left and guess what, he's still alive.If you really want this life for yourself, then keep listening to him. He won't kill himself. He is controlling you, and he has got you right where he wants you. I loved my husband too, but I love my family and myself more. Don't try and analys this, cos he will twist it when you think you have an answer. It is all about mind games and control, and obviously he is the one in control. Let me guess, he mentally tortures you for a while and when he sees that you are on the verge of leaving, he becomes tolorable, not completly nice, but better. Then when he has you sucked back in again, it all begins agian. Your on a never ending cycle that he is creating, but unfortunately, he has got you so caught up in this that you are unable to see it. It was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do in my life, but I had to run, I moved states, and turned my life upside down just to get away from him. I had times where I thought it was so much easier to just go back, but you really need to stay strong and stay away, no contact. I do admit, I tried several times to leave, but fell back into his world, but now I couldn't be happier.
I hope for your sake and the people who love you sake, that you get away from this animal, and that's what he is an animal who doesn't deserve to have someone else in his life.(I know I am harsh, but sometimes you need the truth).
PS: Do you really think he loves you? He loves himself enough to put HIS feelings before yours, so do you really think he is going to kill himself? NOPE!!!!!!! Don't fall for his games.

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Leave him immediately! If he really 'loved' you then he would want you to be beautiful and being suicidal is not love... If he is not wanting you to be everything you can be then he isnt worth your love. I know it is easy for me to say that you need to stop loving him because I am not in your situation- but you need to do whats best for you and leave him and never look back. Put him in rehab because you love him and then leave his life. I am so sorry that you had to experience this kind of relationship. Good luck hun...I hope you do whats right for you.

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Just how much of your life to you intend to waste on this loser? Leave already and get on with it. If he kills himself, well, not your problem. You can't throw your own life away by emotionally chaining yourself to someone who refuses to grow up and act like a real man. Take off.

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alpha & omega
Thank heaven you were not married to him. He is doing drugs and he will go down with you. Make sure you attend the funeral if/whenever he kills himself.

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This is a form of emotional abuse, he is trapping you into staying with him. I know its hard but you need to look out for yourself and not him- he is responsible for his own foolish actions. I know many people who's significant others have told them this when confronted with leaving, and they still wound up seperated in the end, and they are still alive and functioning better without them. This is a sure sign of a bad relationship.

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♥The Mrs.♥
You need to tell his parents, friends, ect. what he told you...then leave. Chances are he won't do it and is using it as blackmale against you. But just in case, those close to him need to know about it.

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LEAVE HIM IMMEDIATELY!! Call the cops if necessary to get away safely. This situation will get worse before it gets better.

My ex was doing drugs, drinking, accusing me of cheating with any and everyone, and when I first tried to break up with him, he actually did slit his wrists.

I stayed with him 'cause "I love him I really do" just like you, and thought my love would make him better. It didn't. Next he cheated on me, punched me in the face (to make me ugly I suppose), and stole from me. A year later after his second stint in a psych hospital and third in rehab, I left him for good.

Yours, like mine, is a toxic relationship; get out of it before he kills you and/or himself.

If you need to talk, the people with the national domestic violence hotline are wonderful: 1-800-799-7233.

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Tristen CC
u should tell him to get help ASAP it could turn into a big proble

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Leave. He's controlling you by making you feel like a victim to his own depression. If you want to break up with him - do you really love him? I would tell him you're leaving until he stops drinking and doing drugs and just do it.

Sorry - thats just my opinion, I know all situations are tough, and difficult and ultimately, the decision is your's to make. Good luck, I wish you all the luck in the world in this situation.

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Your Answer:
I have had a similar experience with a man a few years ago now, it was really hard and so horrible. I kept trying to leave him but he continued to threaten to kill himself and I felt so bad that I just stayed with him.

It was only months later that I finally got the courage to stand up and go, I had to, I was not helping him being there, when I left he didn't have me to support him and had to go and seek real medical support from people who can help him. It was really hard and he did go really low for a while but he is fine now.

Try not to make my mistake (by staying in the relationship), just get out of the relationship as soon as possible, it hurts but it is better for the both of you in the long run. He is just trying to control you because he is unable to control his own life at the moment, When you break up with him, you need to break all contact with him for a while and maybe even consider changing your number. Hope this helps a little, if only to let you know your not the only one who's been there, I know how much it sucks.

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Hi there,

NOTE: This is my personal opinon. It is not its intention to be offensive in any way. I am not a professional. Use advice at your own discretion. You know best in this situation.

When I read your question, a red little "Warning, Warning, Danger ahead!" sign practically jumped into my head. Well, not literally. But still. From what you have described to me, you are heading down a path of an abusive relationship.

"You may be in an abusive relationship if he or she:
Is jealous or possessive toward you.
(Jealousy is the primary symptom of abusive relationships; it is also a core component of Sexual Addictions and Love Addiction.)
Tries to control you by being very bossy or demanding.
Tries to isolate you by demanding you cut off social contacts and friendships.
Is violent and / or loses his or her temper quickly.
Pressures you sexually, demands sexual activities you are not comfortable with.
Abuses drugs or alcohol.
Claims you are responsible for his or her emotional state. (This is a core diagnostic criteria for Codependency.)
Blames you when he or she mistreats you.
Has a history of bad relationships.
Your family and friends have warned you about the person or told you that they are concerned for your safety or emotional well being.
You frequently worry about how he or she will react to things you say or do.
Makes "jokes" that shame, humiliate, demean or embarrass you, weather privately or around family and friends.
Your partner grew up witnessing an abusive parental relationship, and/or was abused as a child.
Your partner "rages" when they feel hurt, shame, fear or loss of control.
Both parties in abusive relationships may develop or progress in drug or alcohol dependence in a (dysfunctional) attempt to cope with the pain.
You leave and then return to your partner repeatedly, against the advice of your friends, family and loved ones.
You have trouble ending the relationship, even though you know inside it's the right thing to do.

Does the person you love...
• constantly keep track of your time?

• act jealous and possessive?
• accuse you of being unfaithful or flirting?
• discourage your relationships with friends and family?
• prevent or discourage you from working, interacting with friends or attending school?
• constantly criticize or belittle you?

• control all finances and force you to account for what you spend? (Reasonable cooperative budgeting excepted.)

• humiliate you in front of others? (Including "jokes" at your expense.)

• destroy or take your personal property or sentimental items?

• have affairs?

• threaten to hurt you, your children or pets? Threaten to use a weapon?

• push, hit, slap, punch, kick, or bite you or your children?

• force you to have sex against your will, or demand sexual acts you are uncomfortable with?"

That was taken from the webpage: http://www.recovery-man.com/abusive/abusive_signs.htm

"Signs of an Abusive Relationships
Important warning signs that you may be involved in an abusive relationship include when someone:

harms you physically in any way, including slapping, pushing, grabbing, shaking, smacking, kicking, and punching
tries to control different aspects of your life, such as how you dress, who you hang out with, and what you say
frequently humiliates you or making you feel unworthy (for example, if a partner puts you down but tells you that he or she loves you)
coerces or threatens to harm you, or self-harm, if you leave the relationship
twists the truth to make you feel you are to blame for your partner's actions
demands to know where you are at all times
constantly becomes jealous or angry when you want to spend time with your friends " This was taken from the site: http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/relationships/abuse.html

Okay, so that was just some information. See if that applies to you. As you may have read above, one major warning signs is that he:
1. humiliates you by calling you ugly
2. I assume that he can be out of his "usual self" while drinking or taking substances (ie. drugs), and PERHAPS more aggressive?
3. threatens to self-harm if you ever break up with him.

Blink, blink. Warning, warning.

I know you may feel like you love this man, but I don't think that it is right for you! You seem like you are already getting hurt by this guy. I know it might be hard to leave him, and you wouldn't want to self harm but I want you to know that if you break up with him and he self-harms himself, then YOU ARE NOT LIABLE OR RESPONSIBE (either emotionally, morally, or even legally, as far as my knowledge goes). Please talk to someone (your mom, you parents, your gaurdians, a teacher, an aunt....anyone who you think can help you!). Honestly, I don't want someone else to be hurt in an abusive relationship, whether it be emotional or physical abuse.

I hope this helps. Good luck! Please give me some feedback on whether or not this answer helps. Bye!

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Find out where to send the flowers. DUMP THE DOPEADDICT

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Mum of 2
It sounds to me that you really could do better!
Are you sure he's not just a habit - That's why it's so hard to walk away?
Personally I would be out of there like a shot and if he wanted to do something silly I'm afraid he would have to get on with it - Do you really want to spend the rest of your relationship being treated this way and then when he wants to end it you would have to waste mor time building your confidence etc back up.
If you really believe he will commit harry carry let a member of his family know that you are finishing with him and tell them why and what he has threatened to do and they can take responsibility for him!

Good luck hope you get it sorted and find someone who will treat you right!

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I had my boyfriend of 5 years give me that line in college. He wasn't even on drugs. The point is, you are responsible for the direction your life goes. Your choices affect THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. If he does kill himself, you just have to say, he was a mess and he made the decision. He can blame you all he wants, but he is in charge of living his life, just as you are yours.

After I broke up with the guy, he cried for weeks, completely devasted. We tried to stay friends, but he started drinking his problems away after that, which of course made things worse. After I cut off contact completely, he actually changed his life around. I think he wanted to prove to himself that I made a big mistake or something. Now he is like a millionaire rockstar or something.

About a month after I stopped talking to him I met the man of my dreams. Now I am with a man who takes care of me instead of the other way around. A real man who is strong, responsible, and melts my heart with every kiss. He is such a man of honor that I don't think he would have given me the time of day if he knew I had a boyfriend when we met.

Every day I feel so lucky that I made the decision that I did. It was so hard because at the time I was really in love with him, but I just knew he wouldn't make a good husband or father--he was just not dependable enough. When I look at the hottie I married, I just can't believe how blessed I am that God gave me the strength to do the impossible just in time to meet him.

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scott k
I'm sorry for your situation, but to answer the question,you must decide "is this behavior acceptable?" if no, then your answer is clear, he sounds like he has some serious problems and is probably beyond your ability to help,
If as you say, you love him, make it clear that when he is ready to get help, you will be there, until that day "love" from a safe distance.

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Marie B
Call the cops and the hospital on him as a suicide threat

it's their job to respond

the cops will keep him from hurting himself and the hospital might be able to detox drugs out

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Escape now!!

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Meghan B
He's trying to manipulate you, you'd be etter off leaving him. If you believe the threats are true then 1) definately leave 2) tell someone like his parents about the threats and let them deal with helping him - it is a bad idea for you to be around him if he is saying such things (especially combined with the no one else can have you comments) - he might harm you as well.

Care to return the favor?

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Leave him, he is not the only guy that says "He will kill himself." You need to leave him because the situation is not healthy for you and he may end up hurting you.

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I have no idea why you love him with the way he is - dump his ***.....

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Look, the guy is a complete idiot. He wants to make you so ugly no one will want you? What the h-ell does that mean? You are better off looking for someone who has his head screwed on the right way, who isn't so needy and emotionally manipulative ("I'll kill myself" is the oldest manipulative line in the world - guess what - he won't or if he does try it will be a pathetic attempt which won't actually work, just designed to get your attention and sympathy). He really needs professional help, and if he won't get it, you need to walk. In fact, walk now, while you still have any kind of self-respect and self-esteem left.

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leave he will not do it that is to control you!

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The sooner you get gone the sooner he can come to terms with what he really wants to do. If he ends his life (perish the thought) it will be his decision, not yours.

If you really want to break up with him when he is at his lowest, then you should since it shows that you really don't love him the way he needs you too. Get gone!

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I love cooking!
Don't fall for it! My ex did this so many times. At first I believed him and now I know it was a way to manipulate me and get what he wanted. Finally, I got fed up and just left him.

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He is more than likely just trying to guilt you into staying. It is a mean and terrible thing for him to do and you shouldn't put up with it. Regardless, he is responsible for his life and his reactions. If you leave him and he does some thing stupid that is not your fault. His life is not your responsibility. You are responsible for you and your life.

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ॐ obscured ॐ
Call the police on him and have him arrested, they will treat his mental disorder !i

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