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 What should I do, heart or head??? Please help me decide!?
I've been married to my husband for 4 years, together 9 years. We have 6 children together. I'm 26. He has no job and does nothing in the house at all, he goes out with his mate from 9ish ...

But my CURIOUSITY IS GETTING THE BETTER OF ME..I'm tryning really hard not to ring him...at all..but I really want to know as I asked him if u say no i wont call u but he didnt say no or yes.

 OK so husband will never return to his ex mistress but will he forget her?
There has now been about 3 weeks with no contact.

She was away for a while, but must be back by now. She changed her number while she was away and thru snooping I say that she has NO wish ...

 Do you think he is cheating?
we needed a babysitter and out of nowhere my bf says he has a friend who can. i meet her and i feel like they are too comfortable but ignore it because i trusted him soo much
she takes care of ...

 Has anyone here ever given an ultimatum?
Anyone ever given a ultimatum about getting engaged? If you have, has it worked. Basically i've had enough and i am at the point where i feel like if he doesn't want to marry me then I ...

 How can i get my 23 yrs old?
how can i get my son to go and live away from me.as i find it stress full to watch him waste his life away on weed and alcohol,and mistreat my belongings don't care about how i feel.uses me and ...

 If I am mad and I tell a guy not to do certain stuff for me, and he really doesnt do it, so he doesnt like me?
If I am mad at a guy and I tell him need not to do certain stuff for me, even though he has promised me he would since it's quite an important stuff, and he really doesnt do it after I tell him ...

 Girl is hindu boy is muslim marrige is possible how can they marrige with out any religion changing?

 Are the profits from a book published during a marriage considered marital property?
My wife and I were married for 19 yrs. during the last 10 yrs she wrote a novel. I never had an actual role in writing the book, but I did help her with ideas and writers block and the trials and ...

 Who or what has had the most positive life experience influence in your life?
Please give inspiring or fun details, thanks, I love hearing about great life changing experiences.
Additional Details
I know this question may sound silly in this section where people ...

 Is it too much to ask for a call day after dinner and walk from ex trying to stay married.?
I am feeling confused is to what is to much to ask for. I have been separated from my husband of 15 years. A rough marriage with little affection. I was told that I am being difficult by expecting a ...

 Whys he in such a rush to marry this girl?
was mates with this guy in work for a year he was always a flirt and tactile I liked him but he had a fiance at time so didn't see anything in it. After a year he started acting differently ...

 Seriously have you gone through a divorce?
I am sick of people talking about:
"get a divorce"
"file for divorce"
"leave him or her"
what happened to "til death do us part"?


 In an effort to celebrate.....?
Earth Day and connect with Mother Nature, I am going to run around naked all day--what do you think?...

 What are some regular activities in a typical week necessary to ensure smooth running of a household?
I am getting married soon so I want to keep in mind the sorts of things that I need to get done to help-out and plan our weeks so things run a bit smoother. Thanks....

 Is My Sis right About My Husband?
My sister never liked my husband just ‘because he is not the same faith as us. However, her own b/f of 6yrs is different faith as well so my sister is playing a double standard. Anyhow, she came ...

 Are we not meant to be?
okay so me and my ex have had 4 yrs together and we have a 1 1/2 year old together... we recently broke up like bout 3 months ago we have broken up before but got back together... but not this long! ...

 Have/ do you ever feel like you don't know the person your married to?
My husband got a DUI & got into a pretty bad accident on Monday night while I was asleep, I had no idea he was even gone.
He's lucky he's alive.

Anyways, the Jessee I ...

 Sig other criticizing has me distraught? help?
Today I got into an argument with my significant other of 5 yrs. (no marriage)

Next weekend is college commencement and everyone in my classes of age was talking about going, etc. and I ...

 Ladies, how many out of 10 does your man score on knowing how to be a Gentleman?
how does he score on performing the Top 10 gentlemanly gestures below, listed from 10 to 1 from less to most important.

here is the link:


Guys, Is this wrong? Husband had anal sex with me while I was drunk and passed out?
We have been married about 8 years and he has struggled with an internet porn addiction for awhile. Not casual use but chronic and habitual.
Recently he seems better. The past 8 months he's wanted to try anal sex. I do believe in satisfying my man but have tried it w/ him and it always hurt, finally I told him on no uncertain terms I do NOT EVER want to do. I had said this before but let him talk me into it.
The other night I drank some champagne (he doesn't drink) and was pretty out of it, I also took two sleeping pills. I remember we had sex twice while I was awake. In the middle of the night I woke up to him having anal sex with me. It hurt but I was half/asleep and it seemed like a dream. He finished and I said something to him (details are vague) and he denied that it happened so I called him a liar and sent him to the couch.
I KNOW it happened b/c physically you can tell (I'll spare the details).
Let me add that ours is not a happy marriage and I have been contemplating divorce however, I am deeply weighing my decision based on what's best for 4 and 7 yr. old girls.
I feel violated because he KNEW I didn't want to do anal and now he has done it while I was drunk and sound asleep.

Is this wrong guys or is this normal?
Additional Details
Two things i want to add:

1. Yes it kind of woke me up but it was like a dream like I couldn't wake up 100% it was weird and yes a BAD idea to mix alcohol and sleeping pills!

2. The reason I'm asking the question is that the very LAST thing I want to do is demonize the guy just b/c I don't want to be married to him anymore. Perhaps in trying not to do that I have let him go to far..that's why I'm interested in the male opinion.

3. He does not "have" to get me drunk I am sexually adventurous and he gets regular sex, almost anything he wants. I drew a boundary line here and while it might be OK for some women he KNEW it wasn't OK with me.

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You were so out of it that A) you have to go by later physical evidence to be sure and B) you can't be certain that you didn't say yes before he started. I expect most people will disagree with me, but I don't think you have a legitimate complaint in this case.

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Totally disagree with Happy because if you're that out of it, you can't consent. If you are incapable of consent, it's rape.

Is it best for your little girls for you to live with a rapist? If he has so little control over his sex addiction, how long until he drags them into it? I'd be willing to bet, if you checked his computer thoroughly, you'd find kiddie porn on it. This man is totally out of control.

Did you really think we'd all say this is normal?

EDIT: There was an out of control sex addict on Dr. Phil whose wife asked for a polygraph and he WAS molesting their (very young) girls and looking at kiddie porn. He seemed normal, he was just having sex with everything that moved, including his children.

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Seek advise from your lawyer..

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I don't know, I would say he may have asked you and you said yes. If he has NEVER done something like this is the years you have been together then I find it hard to believe he was just like " Hey I am going to rape the girl that just had sex with me twice"

If he 100% did then he is a sick freak and why the hell are you still there with your children?

But, My husband has had sex with me when I was asleep, That's how he woke me up. I never said yes, I woke up quickly and didn't say no. He may have just thought that you would have told him NO if you didnt want it.

IDK Your already set that you dont want to be with him, so does it really matter?

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johnny trash
the only problem i see is that he had to get you drunk to get a little butt sex

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Ms. L
I'm not a guy, but just looking at the surface of this, I say its wrong. But you were so out of it are you sure he didn't ask you for anal sex and you agreed to it or maybe you even suggested it. I know there was a time when I was drunk and ended up doing things with my husband that I don't normally do. Alcohol is liquid courage. I'm not saying you did give him permission, I'm just wondering if it was a possibility. If its not a possibility then yeah he's wrong.

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Its called rape.

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he might have raped ya he might not have. you were to out of if to know what was really going on. who the hell in their right mind ever mixes alcohol and sleeping pills? you said so yourself it felt like a dream, it very well could have been a dream. dreams can seem very real, to a point marks and everything else will show up on you. i say you both go seek marriage counseling and you need even more for your trying to kill yourself.

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If he needs it that bad, he should get a boyfriend, then they can do it to each other

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That is soooo wrong.

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Hmmm, forgive me for being confused.
He doesn't drink and one night you were drinking champagne alone. Where were your 4yr old and 7yr old whilst you were drinking/taking sleeping pills? Sleeping in their beds whilst their mom got intoxicated, and their sober porn-addict dad abused her. I feel sorry for the kids.

I think the whole situation is messed up and that you know perfectly well it's wrong. If he only has to sleep on the couch every time he anally rapes you then I'm sure he won't think twice before trying it again.

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Ben Dover
It's extremely wrong on every level!

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YES...its wrong. he' s perfect candidate for my sending of several horny convicts to butt rape him for about 3 consecutive hours. bet he won't like anal sex anymore. seriously, you need to divorce him, NOW.

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he engaged in sexual acts with you while you were incapacitated. that constitutes rape. personally, i think you should get a divorce. if he's so self-centered that he would take advantage of you while you're asleep, then he doesn't deserve to be with you.

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its likely i will say douche bag
Wrong, very wrong on many levels.

if you haven't made up your mind up in till this point, i hope that this has convinced you to go ahead with the divorce.

I believe most women would refer to what he did as RAPE.

for those who say that you shouldn't be that intoxicated where you dont know whats going on around you, I say You were with your husband, If you cant count on him and trust him not to rape you while you were passed out than he is a useless piece of S H I T.

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This is called rape. 2 questions you may want to ask yourself: 1) Should I continue to take substances into my body that render me incapable of preventing something like this from happening; and 2) Do I want to live with and be married to someone who would physically take advantage of me while I am in this state?

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His stuff would be packed and sitting by the door! He did something he knew you were against! If you can't be safe when your at home in your own bed where can you be safe!

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It is a spousal rape and you can press charges against him, and if your planning a divorce in the future it will be good to have the report so the judge can make an informed decision in your divorce case. Sorry for you suffering, good luck.

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Dr K-I-izzle™
drugs and alcohol don't mix dummy...if being buttfvcked doesn't wake you up, you have a problem

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WTF! That is RAPE! NO ONE can screw an unconscious person! I'[m not kidding! Even consent that is given in questionable circumstances (like being DRUNK) doesn't count.
He is MESSED UP, and completely violated you

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No that is definatley NOT normal! That is really messed up. I don't know your whole situation but he seems like he has alot of issues and I don't think you want to be with someone like that. It's kinda like he raped you! Maybe it wasn't quite as extreme but it is a form of rape. You should feel violated b/c he DID violate you and your wishes! You were a good wife for trying it for him anyway and once you didn't like it he should have let it go. Your right he KNEW you didn't want to have anal sex so he took advantage of the situation when you were drunk. That is sooooo wrong. You should be able to trust and be safe around your "husband", not having to worry about if you fall asleep drunk will he do it again. When you say what's best for your little girls, as long as you love them and give them all the nuturing they need they will be okay if you divorce him. Just because you divorced doesn't mean he can't be a part of their lives. I know you want your babies to be happy, but keep in mind if your not content with your life, neither will they. Your happiness will have a trickle down effect on their growth and development. Like I said I don't know your whole situation, but based on what you told us here you should leave him. He violated you and your wishes.

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