Do I still love him?

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leowin1948	30 years is a long period.Long familiarity and event less life might have made you to think all this.You may have to start talking together.What is wrong in between you only can be found by you.An open and frank talk may restore relations.Short vacation to some distant and exotic location may be a good change.Probably ,deep inside,you still love him,and what you need is a change in life,place ,or life style.DO self introspection followed by free and frank discussion.Good Luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sweetblonde	trades will be involved if you leave..............if you do find someone else you will have to deal with all new crap from some guy.....think about it......... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Forlorn Hope	Do you still enjoy a physical relationship??? Is it still spontaneous??? Or are you just in a rut??? Find a way to spice things up or move on... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

monkeyface	You are going about this all wrong. You want some-one else to take responsibility for the decision here. That way if it turns out that the decision was wrong you will have someboby to blame. Be an adult, make a decision & stick to it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jsjr12469	SURE THATS WHAT ALL U CHICS SAY!!!!WHAT DID U THINK WOULD HAPPEND AFTER 30 YEARS W/THE SAME PERSON.take a vacation 4 a few weeks them *** bac and make love!!!! then email me jsjr12469@yahoo.com Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jacky	i don't know about u, but for me it has always been betetr to be alone than in relationships which suck. yours suck because u re bored. life is so full of surprises and it is anything but boring. especially when u re single. it's such big world of opportunities. of course i don't know how u look to give u advices. but anyway, it is always better to be alone than with someone who sucks your life out of u ps. just had a glimps of that blubber the previous one wrote to u. u don't need to be in love with a person all your life. maybe. but if u re not in love it doesn't mean u should be bored to death with the person u re with Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

djkay86	ermmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... i dont know sorry x Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

illnovelist	REACT! He doesn't want to try new things? So what? You do, right? So then get out there and try new things(and no, I'm not talking about having an affair). Disappear on him for a week or two. Make him miss you, and you, him. Sometimes, one person has to go that long, long, long extra mile to reach a better destination. So go for it! Don't let boredom be the cause of a divorce. Aria The illnovelist Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

felicity_pink	Can you imagine waking up next to him in 10 years? If not then maybe it might be time for you to have some time apart, doesnt have to be forever, maybe a bit a space might give you the breathing room you need to decide what you really need. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

tata	GO TO HIM AND TELL HIM HOW YOU ARE FEELING AND THAT YOU FEEL THE RELATIONSHIP IS LOOSING INTERESTS. YOU WANT TO TRY NEW THINGS AND PUT THE SPARK BACK INTO THE RELATIONSHIP. IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO TRY THEN LOOK AT IT THIS WAY, HE MAY BE CHEATING TO THE POINT WHERE HE DOESN'T WANT TO TRY THINGS WITH YOU. JUST TALK TO HIM FIRST AND SEE WHERE HIS MIND IS. GOOD LUCK.!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Devastating 1	Make you two list with things you like and dislike about your husband and ask him to do the same. Pray and fast them you both must communicate the different issues you have with each other without fighting. COMMUNICATION is the key. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

goodsense	You guys both need to sit down and talk. Lay it all on the line. Only you 2 can tell if there is anything left to save. Good luck to you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

love_cherryforever	I'd say there must be a part of you that still loves him, it's just a matter of admitting it to yourself. Maybe your life is too hectic, but you have to try and find time or more time to spend with eachother, and when you do that... Try to bring back the memories of the days when you first starting going out or the memories of how you first met, I'm sure that will do something. And if children are involved in this marriage as well, this makes the situation worse... You really have to consider the children's feelings as to what you could be doing could ruin them. It has to take serious thinking for you to come up with the answer of wether you still love him or not, but you should take your time making this decision as it could permenately change your life and there's no going back once you've already made a decision. So the best advice I can give you is to take your time making this choice and choose wisely, you don't want to end up regretting something for the rest of your life. Hope this helped. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Peg B	Try spending a trial period apart. Get an apartment or stay with friends or family. Too many people hastily divorce, only to find out that the grass wasn't really greener on the other side, It was just the view. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cj	You both have to work at the relationship even after 30 years. And I know, I have been married 35 years. We talk and sound things out and after all is said and done, I love him but we work at it and talk and talk and then do. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Peter T	I divorced after 26 years,once kids had grown up and wife had a job to support herself,I was fair in our divorce settlement but many men aren't. We had grown apart with separate interests. You You should think what life will;l be like without him and how you will live. remember 'the grass is always greener'. you may find yourself struggling to live at the same level you did when together and if you find someone else, will they be any better Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sokrvolleyhoopsmom	In that same situation. But not 30 years. We are 38 and 37. He does not want to have sex that much anymore etc, says he is stressed and tired, and we watch tv.....ugh, Im with you, if you need some leaning, email me. I am a stay at home mom too, so I need someone to have some fun, an adult....I am sorry for what you are going through. Sometimes the counseling does not help, if they are not willing to change, and some are not....I have thought about that with mine going to that, but not sure if he would be open minded since he is not usually. Write me or IM if you want to talk. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

abdulsamod37	try to stay away for a while Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

theblessedguy	Hi Jude There is something you are missing ... You love him, u have told us that. However there is a difference between love and attraction. You are not as attracted to him and he is not as attracted to you. There were certain that he did for you that attracted you to him - Can you remember the last time you felt attracted to a man - Was it something he said, or the way he looked at you or was it his touch ... teach it to him. Ask him the same thing. Message me for more details. Good Luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

I luv my kids	I am in a similar situation. I have been married 38 years. I have lost that 'loving feeling' a long time ago. I want to leave. And I plan to. Not so I can find someone else, but to gain peace. Something I haven't had in a long time. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Spice	Make sure Jude that you have done everything to make your marriage work. you don't want to get a divorce and then realize that you could have or should have tried at least one more thing. Divorce is a big blow to a couple and can be looked at as "this is what I get for all the years that I've given you?" But on the other hand if you're having doubts to the point where you are questioning your love, then maybe it's time for a change. It would be more respectful to leave someone than to get caught cheating. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jason V	Your the only one who could answer your question. What are things that draw you to him? Are those traits still there? Are you waiting for something to happen? Does he know about how you're feeling. It's a two way street and if the information only flows one way, it would be really hard to balance things out. I don't know your husband, but he needs to be treated fairly as well and given a fighting chance. He may not know that you're bored or having issues with him or your situation. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

litlleone	i have often heard the phrase i love that person but im not in love with them. it still means that there is something there but is that out of comfort and a fear of the unknown or because you have been together so long? or is it as you say you want to do things he doesnt. have you got things you can do sepratly, and together. dont give up on it if there is fight still there cos as you say there is no going back. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Proud mum to Tyler and Riley.	My Grandparents divorced after nearly 40 together. And even though it was a mutual decision, my grandmother still regrets it to this day. Love changes as you get older, and the intense feeling first felt, will have long gone. Try telling your husband how you feel. And make an attempt to spice things up. Once you've gone, its hard to go back, so if you really do want to leave, be sure. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

ash	spice it hun. try doing things that you did with him when you fell in love with him, then you might realize that you do love him or take a holiday just you and some mates to see how much you miss him. You just need to remember why you fell in love with him and make yourself realize that you do. If all else fails and you cant find it dont just run off and leave him sit down talk to him, you never know he might be feeling the same. If you do split up and stay friends you never know you both might fall back in love again. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

BBsMommy	try spending a night or two apart and see how you feel. if you don't miss him and you two aren't closer when you go home maybe you don't love him any more and even if you do love him you might not still be in love. if you can picture your self with another guy then i would say your not in love with him but if not then maybe a night or two will make you guys realize how much you do love each other. It's a scary feeling to wake up and realize your alone. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cassie12	Being in love isn't the only part of being married. If you want to try new things, maybe you will have to try them yourself first and maybe when he sees you having fun, he will join you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

ijustwantinnerpeace	i know exactly how you feel - i have been married for 22 years and now realise that, although i am still fond of him, i am not in love with him anymore. I cant say exactly when i started to feel differently but i just know that this isnt what i want for the rest of my life. My problem is, i have four children - 3 teenagers and one under 10 - and they would be devastated if we were to split again. You see, we were separated for two years and he had a relationship with someone else (which i wasnt aware of until we got back together) and at first it was fantastic, but now i realise it was a big mistake and that i should have 'moved on' and made a fresh start. We have been back together now for 3 years and things are so different as i dont feel i can trust him. He is so different and shows no interest in me whatsoever. We have nothing in common and never spend time as a couple as i work most evenings. All we seem to do is argue and i know the children are worried that history will repeat itself but i know deep inside that i cannot carry on like this. To everyone else he is Mr. Wonderful, but not many people know the real story. Are you able to support yourself financially if you were to split? unfortunately, i wouldnt be able to support myself and the children and he doesnt earn enough to rent or buy another property elsewhere. Do you still find him attractive? does he still make you laugh, and how would you feel if he wanted to start a new relationship with someone else? I agree with your comment of 'no going back' - i too should have adopted that attitude. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope you make the right decision. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

D	Sometimes in relationships we just simply grow apart. Now I'm not telling you to leave but if you are unhappy I would pray on it and ask the Lord for help. 30 years is a long time to just give up Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

del-d	Your marriage does not have to be the bars that prevent you doing new things. Your problem seems to be that you are bored with your entire life, not just your husband. But you seem to think that leaving him or swapping him for someone more exciting will give a meaning to your life. It won't. Stop making him the reason why you are not living your life to the fullest. Start doing all those things you think you want to do and if he does not want to go along, do them without him. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

titania	that is something you and only you can awsnser. but think long and hard about it and maybe you guys should see a marriage guidance councillor Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No