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 How loyal should i be to my would be hubby?
i had an affair with a guy 6 yrs. ago for 2 yrs. now i'm getting married to another guy. i have no feelings for my x-bf in my heart but i don't wanna hide anything to my husband. how safe ...

 MARRIED COUPLES:::::: If you have a sexless marriage is it wrong to go elsewhere ?
I am young and need it .......
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He says its impotence.........and if you love him but need sex thats no reason for divorce ...........

 What would you do if your husband said F*** you to you?

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 Why do so many people stay in relationships in which they are unhappy? Could you give me some reasons?

 Do u think it is ok to marry your second cousin?
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woman and 45. I just like being by myself....

 Can you get pregnant from Cyber Sex?
I'm asking for a friend she lives in L.A. and he lives in N.Y. and well she has morning sickness

serious answers only..
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cyber babies ...

 I am furious?
my "fiance" and the father of my children is so IRRESPONSIBLE, and i'm going nuts. It started out that he was a stay at home dad...... and now he's just quit trying. leaving ...

 How do i tell my husband that his dick is too small?
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allow him to cheat on her.... allow him to see her as less than human ..to see her as having no feelings other than what he says she ought to feel?

Why would any woman believe that ...

 When will I stop hurting so much?
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 Should I divorce her or stay!?
I got married after I came home from over seas, Things were great but, now they are bad, very bad! I have found texts on her cell phone from other guys, I have cought her in multiple lies, about her ...

Michelle K
Can my husband kick me out of our home and cut me off financially?
He wants a divorce. We have 2 children, and we currently lease a home. He is ending the lease in 30 days, has given me NO money, and just told me to "get a job". When asked how I will pay for child care, he tells me that HE will go for full custody, so I don't have to worry about it. Can he do this? What are my options? I have no money for a lawyer.
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I have the children. He abandoned us, and left.

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yes he can. and if u don't have money to get a lawer u should get it for free from state

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Lv Dr. 4U
You need to seek out the courts help and if you can't afford attorney fees then he may be on the hook for those. If you can't be amicable then the only solution is a spousal/child support order. Spousal support won't be forever so you will probably will have to return to the workforce and childcare can be part of child support. You will be on your own until these orders are handed down. Try and illicit support from friends and family until things get settled.

It's too bad this ended in this matter and the kids have to see this. You should do everything in your power not to get them involved, kids shouldn't be involved in adult decisions/issues. Also, be careful about not talking down or disparagingly about him because it is not good for the kids. Stay on the high road!

Good Luck!!

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Nacho Libre
If you're declared unfit then yes he can.

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Healing for My Soul
wow thats deep you may want to look up agiecies that help single moms. also find a job asap to show that you can support ur children best wishes

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Usually the state will award either joint custody or full custody to the mother. It is unlikely that he will take full custody unless the court finds you to be an unfit mother. You can get legal aid to help you out in whatever state your in. Give him the a run around when it comes to the divorce OR ask for a large amount of money as alimony and child support in your divorce decree. Starting on the day he leaves you need to go down to the attorney general and file for child support, you can do this even if the two of you are still married. You Will be awarded anywhere from 300-600 a month for 2 children. That should start you off. I know it might kick your pride a little, but you have to go to social services, they have programs for educational assistance and Childcare. either get a job or go to school. I suggest going to school if you don't already have a degree. In your divorce decree, make sure you make it clear that he is to pay for YOUR attorney and His own attorney and filing fees. IT IS UP TO YOU TO TAKE THE ADVICE but you have more in your hands than you think you do.

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Do you not have your name on the lease as well? If you have a legal right to abode there he cannot throw you out (at least thats the law in the uk). If he is going in 30 days, where is he going? Is he planning to take the children. Get a stop on this immediately - legally. Isn't there any form of free legal aid in canada (showing my uk ignorance again) or income support and benefits for housing and subsistence living etc.? Rule of thumb is don't leave the house of the children and getting a job would also be helpful anyway.

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Ember Halo
go to the DHS office and inquire about legal aid, TANF, food stamps, etc... they will help you out & make sure you know your rights, at no cost to you.

he will have to give you temporary spousal support, that i guarantee. document everything he does.

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Judo Chop
Hi Michelle, pretty crappy thing he did, why did he leave? Did you suspect it was leading this way? Did you start counciling?

Either way, if you have no income and require money to bring up the children (and assuming they are his) you can call child services and have him pay child support.

You've obviously got a really crappy situation there mate, good luck.

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he can cut you off financially and no he cant kick you out of the house. not he cant take full custody of the kids unless he proves you unfit. my advise to you would be find a job . goto your local social service dept. file for custody. let him pay for the divorce wont cost you a penny. when you goto to court you fight for allimony. child support, pain and suffering.
that is if he is in the wrong and you didnt prevoke this, (cheating)
either way wish you luck

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nikki f
Michelle, I am sorry that you are finding yourself in this situation. If you can, go find an attorney to represent you.. Sometimes in the divorce he can even be forced to pay your attorney fee's being that he is the sole breadwinner.. You most likely would win majority custody based on the fact that you are a stay at home mom .. That being said, he would generally have to pay you child support, and more than likely alimony since he is the one leaving you.. Good luck.. Keep your head up.. don't fall for the threats he gives, and surround yourself with friends and family who will help, love and support you through this tough time.

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If thats your picture why the hell would he want to leave you..

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Randall B
Why does he want the divorce?
If it's for a good reason, then he has a better chance of getting what he wants.

How long have you been married?
The longer, the more in favour the case is of you.

How old are the kids?
Can they be trusted to make decisions? Depending on your state, 15 is the lucky number. Then the child may choose their guardian.

Is the money / lease in his name?
If so, you'll have a long,... drawn out... painful.. (especially for your children, so think before you choose) battle.

Do your kids like you, or he better?
If your kids are old enough, they'll obviously choose who they want. Then again, it doesn't matter very much because the court system tends to take children as naive. Try to appear stable and secure.

Who will be the judge?
Most judges will favour a woman getting the money, home, children, etc... despite children's choices. The divorce will most likely favour you, but you do need to put some effort forward

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It will depend on how long you were married and in what state. If you were married for more than a couple years, you will probably get alimony depending on both of your incomes. You will eventually have to get a lawyer or you will lose everything. It sucks but your best bet is to try to get him to be civil.

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yes he can tell you to do it
. you dont have to leave
what do you need child care for if you dont work?

go to social services and ask about your options.

good luck
not only can he go for full custody
he can take the children when he goes but
if he leaves you with them and doesnt pay the rent
that wont look good.
its abandonment if he does that
if he's smart he'll take them with him to avoid the accusation.
public assistance may be able to assist with saving the house
while you find a job
they also provide day care in michigan

and they may be able to direct you to legal aid
there is a stigma when it comes to welfare
welfare workers know
everything there is to know about gettin gback on your feet
espically after a sudden loss of income
or loss of a spouse

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What state are you in? The laws are different. If you are in CA (a community property state), you are entitled to 50% of assets upon divorce. Talk to legal aid to get help.

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G Money
If you did not have a job because you were taking care of the kids then you can get child support and alimony.

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Get a job immediately...anything for now as long as you are making some money....Then get some legal aid advise....I don't think your husband can kick you out of the house when there are children involved....He may think that he will get custody....but unless he proves you are unfit...the courts usually give custody to the mother...That is why you need to find a job to show that you are making an effort to support your children....then you can sue him for child support...

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Get a job princess!

Why are some of you people telling her to call the police and say he threatened her? She NEVER mentioned him threatening her at all. If the house is leased to him then it's his right to put her out and as far as custody goes,it's his rights to fight for his children. I doubt we are hearing the entire story here.

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I'm very sorry to hear that.

First, you need to keep a reord of everything that transpires from this point on,because its may well help you later on. Any man who would leave his children to eviction and potentially destitution...a state of affairs he knowingly set up isn't going to prove himself father of the year in any court of law - so you already have a mark against him as far as custody goes - and many states still favor the mom in these things. Furthermore... if he felt you were unfit as a mother (which will have to be his arguement)...someone needs to ask, why would he leave you penniless, ending the lease (wait..if your name is on the lease too... he can't just do that) with the children in your custody if you were such a bad mother? His actions thus far hurt his coming argument. Add to the fact that HE requested you take on the stay-at-home parent role... he'll look like a transparent petty jerk, who only wants full custody to hurt YOU, not so much out of concern for the kids. He's relying on your job status, and the time of year (this is a very hard time of year to find a job) to make a difference.

This is what you do, first check with your landlord - they may be able to help you, if your name was on the lease, too. Even if not, try anyway. Also there are social services agencies around that may be able to help you - many, like catholic charities, may have emergency funds for such things. Also, do a search for free divorce legal advice. You may well find a something local, but any should be able to guide the right way.

Keep track on everything you do as well, as it will prove that you've struggled to keep it together after this jerk pull this on you. You would be shown as doing JUST as a fit mother would do. After that, put in with employment agencies, anywhere, to find some income. In the end, he'll own you alimony and child support, but you have to survive in the here and now.

Keep your head up.

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∞ sky3000 ∞
Talk to your local abused women's shelter. Tell them that you are about to be kicked out by your husband and you need legal help. They will have a phone number or contact to a place to get some free legal advice.

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Don't leave. Get a pro bono lawyer referral from the YWCA abuse counselor. I doubt if he really wants full custody. Mine said that at first but its just another threat. He didn't want to take care of them while I went to the store.

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I hope things get better for you, though I can't offer much advice. I haven't heard both sides of the story, but no way could I ever leave my kids behind, and wife with no way to support them. Try and put all the stress aside for the Holidays at least for the kids' sake. I would imagine he can't kick you out, but he is still responsible for the mortgage if he leaves for good.

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There are free lawyers available. Ask any lawyer in the phone book if they do this and a resource where this is available. Better yet, go to your local police station. They have an entire office for resources. As far as kicking you out, yes, he can do that, if he gets an order of protection against you, he can do it without warning. If he just picks up and leaves and takes the kids with him, he can probably still do that. As the natural mother, though, you have hopes of getting them back through legal measures.
As long as you can show you are a good mother, and can provide for your children, you should be okay. But, if he gets a really good lawyer and you don't have any legal advice at all, you may have to settle for visitation time. It would be hard to not get any visitation time at all.
Do your best to get that local resource list, it may save your sanity. Also, is there anything you can use against him? Does he have any skeletons in his closet? Does he abuse you or the children or anyone else in any way?
One more thing, get a job. Any job. Get something coming in for money. Get yourself someplace to live, too. Apply for WIC (Women, Infants and Children) and DES (Department of Economic Security, food stamps). Also, apply for housing aid, state insurance for you and the children, and anything else they can help you with.
Good luck

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Go to courthouse and ask for a state appointed attorney-- tell them he has threatened you. You need to get temporary orders in place regarding the money during the divorce-- ask that it go through the courts or garnish his wages if possible to ensure you will get the money. He will have to pay for housing for you and the kids until the divorce is final..
Sell his **** and keep the $!!! Get cash advance off the credit cards!!

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Arthur W
He can state whatever he likes but what he is saying holds no water in our legal system. He can file fordivorce but child custody is usually awarde to the mother unless shes ruled unfit by child and/or drug/ mental abuse charges. You will also get child support and probably spousal support and the house due to the kids. The problem here is what to do in the meantime til the divorce is final. Contact your local legal aid association for free help if you qualify and it looks like you would here. The cours could grant you temp custody and issue a writ to him to vacate the premises or it could possibly grant him temp custody in which you might have to find a place to stay temporary in the worst case. Good luck

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I love when men try these scare tactics on women. No, he can't kick you out. No, he can't just up and take the children. Call the police, tell them he's threatening you, get a report in writing. Ask them about assistance in court. Most likely, unless he can prove you unfit (you're a drug-addict or abusive to your children, etc) you have a very good chance of not only getting the children, but also alimony and child support. Also, make SURE if he has a retirement fund and any other money in investments, you get part of that too! Oh yes, that's your money too.

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You need to go see a lawyer and fast. He can't legally do anything he is doing. Your attorney will file for divorce and ask for an emergency hearing regarding him not terminating the lease, continuing to pay the lease, pay you child support and alimony, and also pay for your attorney fees if you have no other financial resources.

He is being a bully and the more he does it the worse it is gonna get for him. The whole system is set-up to prevent him from doing exactly what he is threatening. Start listening to your attorney and other people in your life that you trust and STOP listening to him.

Be strong. Good Luck!

Edited to add --- there a lot of people posting here that don't have a clue what they are talking about. The state does not want woman and children on the welfare rolls --- they will not allow him to do this unless he runs fast and far. It makes no difference what you have done --- the courts simply don't care --- their job is keep you and child off public assistance and their #1 method is to make him support you. They routinely order child support, alimony, and attorney's fees to moms who do not work. And in my state if that isn't enough for you to live on and pay the lease where you live currently they will order additiotnal monies from him so you can afford it. You may end up having to get a job and a new residence as the divorce progresses but then he is gonna get hit with some big daycare contributions, on top of standard child support and they may also divide the assets in a way so that you get money for addiitonal schooling to get you reintroduced into the workforce.

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You Need a Lawyer Asap!! Let your Lawyer figure how to pay for it.

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Christine B
No, he has to provide for you and his children. Contact legal aid or your states Bar Association to find free/low cost attorneys

All your soon to be ex (and they are ex's for a reason) is doing is bullying you. Don't allow him to do that to you. Stand up for yourself and your children

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call the legal aid in your area.
if you can't find it call social services, they can dirrect you.

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find an attorney, he is responsible for the children, and has to pay child support, document any abuse, physical or mental. have the attorney freeze his as setts, it is doubtful that he can get custody of the kids, sue him for abandonment. chances are he is seeing someone else too. if u have no money go to the legal aide office in your county. try to be the one who files for divorce first if at all possible.

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