Am I overeacting?

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mel	For the GIRL to remind you of her age and that she was invited should be a huge red flag for you. Even if they werent doing anything of a sexual nature, it shows the lack of respect she has for you!! You are her employer and I would think twice before trusting her with my family (children) with that kinda lack of respect. On the flip side has been many times that I have seen daddy's hook up with the sitter. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

fordmommywife	OMG i am so sorry!! You are underreacting if you ask me...i would be throwing his stuff out and i would have hurt the babysitter girl....since she is 18 now!! OMG What else would he be doing with a 18 year old in a jacuzzi if he wasnt screwing her...ugh Please dont let him run over you like this....you need to sit down together and have a LONG talk about what is going on. Maybe you could go talk to someone... GOOD LUCK Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

misterine	No, he is a dog. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sweetz	Don't ignore your gut feeling. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Louise C	I would be really upset in your position too. Your husband should not be going in the Jacuzzi with the babysitter. You need to talk to him though rather than banging on the door with a rake. And I should get another babysitter. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Nancy M.	I don't think that you are overreacting with what you did. Your husband is just like all typical men. It's alright what he does but it's not alright if you were to do the same thing. I have been married to two men and sometimes I have wished that I had never gotten married at all. My first husband took my three children and spent the night with another woman in another state. My two sons were the ones who came and told me about it. They did not approve of it either. He then had the nerve to say that he had slept on her couch. Then had let me know that he did nothing wrong! Wish that I was allowed to spend the night with another man. Your husband should not have asked your babysitter to be there in the first place. It is inappropriate and I do not care how old the girl is. If it happens again then take his clothes and throw him out and he can live in the poolhouse forever. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

honey	i can't possibly see how this is your imagination. i wish a neighbor had called the cops and you could have a record of his cheating. if you have a pool house you obviously have money. take him for a ride!! laugh all the way to the bank!! set up hidden cameras. so what if the girl is 18. call her parents anyway. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Carina E	"All in your imagination?" He's with the "babysitter" in the pool house and he thinks that you are overacting??? It's obvious, he's fooling around and has no respect for you what so ever! So, what's the next step? He treats you like an idiot! You're gonna take that? To me, there's no "imagination" at all.....throw him and the 18 year old "babysitter" out!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

erginflergin	No, he sounds like a jerk. I can't think of one wholesome reason why the babysitter would be there. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

ash.prak	He should not have done that. What ever it is he should have told you. Its not the correct time to go and meet her. You just be as if you dont know anything. Know in detail what is going on then take a decision. Never take any decision in anger and only. Please be polite. Yes you over reacted. Anything please donot insult anyone in front of neighbours. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Mr Blister	Maybe you were not overreacting, but you do share some of the blame. By refusing to resolve your issues before going to bed, you allowed the problem to escalate and continue for days. This will damage your relationship. You should not need to solve a fight by putting him out of the house. That doesn't solve anything -it only drags it out and makes it worse. So whether or not you were overreacting is really not the issue. Your husband was forced out of his home because of you and probably not too thrilled about it. The fact that he chose the company of someone he knew you'd be upset about if/when you found out is only his way of rebelling against your authoritative move to push him out of the house. You're lucky that's all you found. Had it been my woman who did that to me, she would have found me in the Jacuzzi with a bunch of girls she does not know and probably a few guys friends. Everyone would be drunk and acting a fool. It would be a "My wife kicked me out instead of working out a problem, so I'm gonna party hard to feel better about it" party. Because if I am forced into a bad situation when I feel like I am not wrong, I most certainly will make the best of it. My guess is that your husband would have prefered to end the fighting and arguments, stay inside with you, and never end up in the jacuzzi with the babysitter. If you allow him the opportunity to work out your issues together, he will do just that. Help him help you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

expedigirl	Not only was it inappropriate for the babysitter to be there at that time and place with a married man, it shows that neither one of them have respect for you. Regardless if you and any your husband were fighting and he was in the pool house, that doesn't give him the right to invite another girl over. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Joe	That is pretty screwed up. What have you two been fighting about? He was either trying to make you jealous or trying to find love somewhere else. Either way you two should either see a therapist or work things out privately. Yelling isn't always the answer though. If you are looking for a divorce though with favorable terms go in there and place some hidden camera's in the pool house. just make sure that the tapes of infidelity are in a safe in your house to be used in court if needed. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Zac	No you didn't overreact. Sounds like your husband is sampling the goods. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

nite_angelica	If you don't already know what to do with this situation, then you are an idiot. Sorry. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

pughmecdoc	BEFORE REPLYING TO THIS READ CATS OTHER QUESTIONS... LIKE ALL OF THEM. First, I would still call her parents. Second no you are not over reacting. But you did not solve the problem that you started. As with my last post. Face all the bad things that you did, like try to get some of the $80K that you spent just to spend it. Are you still considering that trip to Thailand for $6000 to show your husband that you are mad at him? YOUR WEIGHT GAIN IS NOT AN EATING DISORDER IT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE WITH CHILD. If you are truly serious then admit your faults. Fix what you can figure how much of a high maintenance person you have become. Turn it around. Other wise you will still get fluff answers from people that had not seen your other postings. and the 10 or so people that have read all of the other horrible things that you wrote what you did and give mean replies. You do not get it. They are going to have a field day when you question on here "Why has my husband filed for divorce?" You think some of the post were bad just wait. I implore you to really change how you think and what you do. These replies are normal for people in normal situations. You have left out soo much of what you did. But if you want to save your marriage you have to start and fix yourself first. well after you tell the little tarts parents what she is doing with your husband. Note. MR did you read her plan to go to Thailand to show him, because he put her on a budget? NANCY M is still giving bad advise. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Mysterious101	You have a right to feel like that but your actions are inapropriate. Yelling at him isn't going to help! You need to think about that baby! Running out to throw yourself into a confrentation isn't a good idea... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

The Princess	Catherine, gosh, there has been so much going on with you guys lately. You were fighting about the money thing, right? Has that been resolved between you? And you're pregnant with two little kids? I don't think you were necessarily overreacting, your husband should not have had her in there with him, but the bottom line is you guys really, really, really need to get your **** together, you know? You guys have to calm down and get some counseling, or talk to any impartial third party, a person who has lots of wisdom and life experience. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Paula Christine	Woaaaa......there is definitely something wrong with this picture. There is nothing right with your husband inviting your babysitter over to "hang" out and the fact that she told you she's 18 now makes me wonder what her intentions are if she assumed that needed to be said. I think you need to tell your husband to leave permanently - I would never accept that type of behavior from anyone, especially my husband. I MUST BE GETTING THUMBS DOWNS FROM MEN ON HERE. IF THEY ARE WOMEN THATS PATHETIC - NO WOMEN IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD BE IN THE SAME SITUATION AND NOT THINK YOUR HUSBAND WAS UP TO SOMETHING. SERIOUSLY. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Emily<3	I dont think you are overeacting at all. Get a new babysitter. It is very innaprobriate for a babysitter to be alone witht the employer of opposite sex at any time. Tell her parents what you think is going on. Confront your husband and let him know how much he hurt you. If he cares he will respect you wanting a new babysitter. You could stay with you parents or sister for a while if things dont calm down fpr emotional support. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

KC	You are not over reacting and you handled it better than I would have I can tell you that....there would have been some heads rolling had it been me. Tell her parents - I don't care if she's 18 - tell them anyway. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sun-shine f	go ahead kick them out Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

takemymulligan	Uh, ya I'd be p!ssed too...file for divorce, now!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Em	no way!!! u r totally right! leave him behind with his secret affairs Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

M R	NOTE: You got a lot of sympathy here because most of the people didn't read all the crap that you been pulling. When it's all said and done - you are not to be believed. You have very serious problems and you need to seek help ASAP. Save yourself and maybe you can save your relationship. I guess you shouldn't have forced him out to the pool house. Are you the queen and he's your servant. Treat him bad and he'll treat you bad. Sounds like you need meds and a shrink. Remember when you said this: " Hi, I'm Cat. I'm 32 and have been married to my wonderful husband for 8 years. We have two beautiful children (ages 4 1/2 and 2) and we are currently expecting baby #3!!!! I am very blessed to have all that I have." (just 2 weeks ago you wrote that) Then a short while later you say you spent $80,000 in credit card purchases. A few days later you complain he put you on a budget. After that, you want to know if you can open a secret bank acct. of your own. Let me say this, you are a mess, you lie and tell half truths. You need a shrink now. I sure hope you can clean up your act. If your husband has to take anymore of your BS he may just call it quits. You seem compelled to act on or think about destructive behavior. You have kids, do something to fix what you messed up. I'm concerned that your pregnant now. Your mental state is not good with a child on the way. I sounds like you can't care for yourself, let alone a new baby too. I'm concerned for your 2 children as well. Get yourself in therapy now. Have your husband/friends and relatives care for the children until you stabilize. EDIT: Yes pughmecdoc, I read all of her posts. She only tells part of the story each time. Put them together and it's truely frightening. She needs professional help. EDIT: Nancy, you and the other man haters butt out. This lady needs help not your BS. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Fonz	When he gets home this evening, you should be in the jacuzzi with the yard boy. See if he thinks it's OK. And fire the baby sitter today. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

IMHO	Oh heeeeeeeell no. You aren't overreacting! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

hellozeus745	LOL i laughed at him saying it was all your imagination. He's having sex with her. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Harriett	Fire the babysitter, and throw that bum of a husband out. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Marina	Wake up and smell the Espresso rich lady, cause if he isn't already, he has a strong desire to bang the babysitter! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

JM	no, that's completely unacceptable. especially for the babysitter to fire back with her comments. find a new sitter, now! best wishes Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No