jekin
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No wonder she wanted to get rid of you. You are nuts to be concerned about her. It's over.
Did you ever hear the phraise in america "let sleeping dogs lie"
Did you marry this woman to get US citizenship too?
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Syrinxsweetsong
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What do you hope to gain from contacting her. If you've given an accurate account of your "former" relationship she already knows the truth of your character. She probably just did not want to be with you and the immigration thing was the easiest way to break things off. If you are over her what difference does it make that she knows how wonderful your life is now. You say you have a wonderful wife and a great career. So, why are you even thinking about this other woman. The "I'll show her" mentality indicates you have not gotten over the pain you felt from her rejection. Telling her about your wonderful life is not going to ease that pain. It seems you have some esteem issues that need analyzing. Exploring your anger and feelings of rejection with a professional will probably be very helpful. I suggest you put your energy into making your life as good as you think it is and move forward. Otherwise, you risk ruining the relationship you have with your wife.
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betsymaemae
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You don't want closure from her. You're looking for her to feel remorse and regret over her actions. The woman you loved hurt you and now, in your own way, you want to hurt her back. First ask yourself why do you need this validation from her? Why are you still holding on to the past when you have a great present and future ahead of you?
You need to find peace with your past - and you need to do it from within. You need to let it go and be okay with what happened it the past and move on. Let your anger and your hurt go. You may need a counselor for this and that's okay.
You still have alot of pent up rage and hurt from that marriage. You know, your ex-wife might have done all those things regardless of your citizen status - maybe that was just the excuse she used. Then where would you put the blame?
What happens if you see her, show off, and she still doesn't care? She still thinks you're beneath her? Then what? Do you hurt even more? Does her opinion of you still greatly affect you even though she's no longer in your life? Or do you move on and say 'screw her' it doesn't matter what she says. Cause if you can say that once you talk to her - why can't you say that now?
You are treading on thin ice with your wonderful new wife. This could seriously cause some big problems with your marriage. Is this 'closure' worth it?
You need work on closure by making peace with the past - and need to do so without her.
She obviously didn't care what your reasons were back then - even though you told her it was out of love - what makes you think she's going to care now?
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Chee
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You don't need any ones validation.. living well is the best revenge. Good Luck!
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Tawkit
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maybe you are, what she says your are.
you probably did use her for getting your papers but you were to slow to get them.
how can she cheat on you if you are divorced? same old thing you guys think your women are property!
she should have reported you and should report you.
maybe she calls you a loser because you didn't get your papers when you could have. now you will have to trick someone else into marrying you.
in your the sentence,
"I feel I need to "C" my ex for closeure."
does the "c" mean cut? you guys are so violent. you think the world revolves around you and you are the only important thing on earth! get over yourself and leave the poor woman alone she has been punished enough just being married to you!
and you know you can go to jail threatening someone like you have done her in this post!
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fyrechick
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Your not going to get closure from this women she will probably say you did the same thing to your new wife. Just move on it seemd like your ex was a abusive person who really only cared for herself.
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sc_slic
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Why? The best vindication you could ever have is the knowledge that she was totally wrong about you. I'll even wager that she is sitting somewhere now in some dead end job, in a relationship with some mentally or physically abusive s.o.b., and living in some half-as-much as she wishes she had dive. You are the opposite of everything that America complains about. You are here honestly, you are working in a job that you earned through an education and not because you were willing to do it for cheaper, and are living off your own cash flow and not the governments hand out line. Pat yourself on the back man, and leave that garbage where it belongs, in the trash behind you.
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Louie R
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**** her
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Niña Boniita
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Instead of asking us, you should ask your wife if its okay with her. It's your relationship that matters, if she is okay with it and you don't have any more feelings for you ex, confront her, if you have to.
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angela R
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Let it go....Seems you still have deep feelings for her.....Obviously, if its true what you say about her, she doesn't deserve you.....Its best to forgive her, and get on with your life....Best of luck and let the past go!
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gokart121
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Can't help ya there, pal, marriage counselor?
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mrsgavanrossem
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Some wise person said 'Living well is the best revenge.' You have my sympathies, because I have three or four people on my personal 'revenge list,' and have fantasised about confronting them etc., but then I'm stopped by (i) entertaining the above thought, and (ii) realising that they're bound to come back at me with something and then we'd be into another cycle without end. Best of all would be - if you feel you must - to arrange that she learns from a third party how happy and fulfilled you are now. I promise you that works much, much better.
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nicolasraage
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Congratulations on your success. If you feel you need to talk to someone for closure, then I think you should do it. I would not suggest hiding it from your new spouse. Also consider if writing a letter would do the same for you.
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edit, I seem to have a different opinion than most. I want to say that I am not for talking to her/him in order to rub their nose in anything, but if you need to confront them, and tell them the way they treated you was harmfull, then do so.
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Sufi
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No. Get over it. You do not need anything from her.
But you still want something from her.
But the real problem is inside you. You need to deal with it.
You cannot get what you want from her (hasn't that been proven)
and that is not the path. the path is inside you.
there is no need to prove yourself right.
figure out how to mourn/grieve. write letters to her but don't send them? write in your journal. process it so you can end the issue.
don't contact her.
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Nick C
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Move on dude. You're going to open a can of worms. Ask your current wife what she thinks you should do, then actually listen.
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daydoom
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If your ex is a politician then i would say she was only doing what comes natural to a liberal. You should not see her because she will try to get you to vote for her and then she will cheat even more besides your new wife might cut off your green card and then you would need your ex again and she might be a liberal newly elected and refuse to give you even anew red card. Excellent political question though and i hope my answer helps you work it all out.
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scottb03gt
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Let it go, you have moved on it seems so keep moving forward
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bad person
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what closure are u talking about??? U happy with this girl uwant to lose her and on the top break her heart
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sprydle
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Just let go.....let it go.
To carry a grudge is kind of like wearing a new shirt day after day every day. It may look good on you at first but pretty soon it's going to stink.
The saying "living well is the best revenge" reminds me of an episode of Frasier..
Frasier: NILES! Niles, get a hold of yourself! You know the expression, "Living well is the
best revenge"?
Niles: It's a wonderful expression. Just don't know how true it is.
Don't see it turning up in a lot of opera plots. “Ludwig,
maddened by the poisoning of his entire family, wreaks
vengeance on Gunther in the third act by living well.”
Frasier: All right, Niles. [heads into the kitchen]
Niles: [follows him] “Whereupon Woton, upon discovering his
deception, wreaks vengeance on Gunther in the third act
again by living even better than the Duke.”
Frasier: Oh, all right!
Remember the one who angers you is the one who controls you.
Do not give them that much power over you.
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dillutedjuice
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What are you looking for trouble again you finally made it you have a decent wife it seems, so what are you looking to get back with her?....Look buddy its not a good thing to show your ex that your are doing fine and making good money now.......Oh i see you wanna show off a bit,,,how childish grow up and i hope that with your attitude you never have kids........harsh ya it is but your just looking for trouble.....MOVE ON......AND BE HAPPY
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Niecy
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I know you think this has to do with immigration since you were an illegal alien, but it has more to do with relationships.
I'll answer anyway. Don't contact her just to show her how good your life is now. There is no need for revenge. Just move on with your life.
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jim
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Closure? Sounds like you want revenge. If you call her, what's that going to accomplish. Move on and get over yourself.
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La Gueta Micaela
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What a horrible existence. I feel that she did to you on a small scale what the "Americans" are doing to the entire illegal community on a larger scale....it is degrading. I feel that you will accomplish nothing seeing this spiteful person face to face. Write her a letter and carbon copy it to a mutual best friend that you had together when you were married. That way if she decides not to read the letter...she will get a phone call from that mutual friend and that friend will in essence force her to discuss this letter. A face to face confrontation with her would only cause a big fight and you will unfortunately not get a chance to speak to her about everything. I am happy that you have found true love........Be Good to her.
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