Would you give up your family and loved ones forever?

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cruzgirlz3	No. Never. I have a great family. I would never, ever give them up for anything in the world. Thank God I was adopted. Without that, I wouldn't have them. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Steve K.	Would I give up my family? No, I wouldn't. Are all adoptees expected to go through this? Actually, no, many don't. My family sponsored a boy in Kenya who had one grandfather. No aunts, uncles, cousins or parents. And he was considered 'lucky' by his tribe to have that one grandfather. The average age of a person in Ethiopia is 18.1. People don't live that long, most people die by the time they are in their 30s or 40s. Many kids adopted internationally have no one. And, in countries like Russia, China, and certain Eastern European countries, children are abandoned at very young ages. They have no family to give up, they only have family to gain. Now, I'm not saying there are never any shifty deals going on in other countries, but if you research the adoption agency you use well enough, then you can ensure that these kids really are orphans in the truest sense of the word. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Crucio	No I wouldn’t. Also not all adoptive parents are rolling in cash. My parents aren’t and never have in fact there were times we went through tough times. Like when I was in about 7th grade we went with out a car for a 1 ½ but I would never wish to have been adopted into a family with more money. Though i would have given up my natural "family" in a heartbeat for more money, after all who would want to be raised amongst ignorant , closed minded people or an addict mother, not me that's for sure. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mommy2squee	Which family? The one I was born to, or the one I grew up with? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sofiakat	Of course not. And neither would my two adopted children. I am trying to support and help them through their grief caused by their adoption. I am trying to help them learn that their adoption does not mean that they have been rejected, that they are more valuable than money or material things. I am trying to help them understand why they were wasting away in foster care for so long. I am trying to help them understand that this has nothing to do with financial purposes and everything to do with not being starved, beaten, threatened, left in a car seat for days on end, and not witnessing daddy hitting mommy in front of them. So no, even at the small age of 5 my son would never give up his safe family, no matter how much he might grieve his family of origin. He actually has more sense than that. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Shan	I couldn't do that. I mean sometimes I want to get rid of my boyfriend but I couldn't ever let my son go. It's hard for me to let him stay the night with his grandma. Some people just arent ready for family and that kind of life style so it's easier to just let it go. Also sometimes it in the best interest of the child for the parents to let them go, maybe they couldn't provide the way they wished they could. Even though, some people feel like nobody wants them, it could only be best for them. But I couldn't leave my family behind, they mean so much to me. Especially my son. Good Luck and I hope my answer worked. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sicilia shines	no, i would not. but can you elaborate on how adoptees do this? okay, i get it, i didn't before. thanks Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Kassy	No, not for material things. Sadly, my adopted children aren't really benefiting in the material things department, at least according to them. But you made me think about other reasons for adoption. I know that some women place their children (or are talked into it) 'so they can have a better life'. But there are also the children like mine, whose mother died, and whose father gave them up. If it was me, I'd prefer to be with my father, no matter what. My children, they say they hated their father, he was a bad man. When I was a foster parent, a number of the children I got to know wanted to go home, even if they were removed due to abuse. So not only would they not leave their parents just to get more stuff, they wanted to stay with their parents at the risk of further abuse. Honestly, when I think about what it would have taken to make me leave my family when I was a child, it might not have taken all that much. My father was an alcoholic and our home life was a mess. It's not a good idea to make life changing decisions in the midst of a very emotional stressful time. If I'd gone, I would've missed that my dad sobered up, our family healed, and we're all doing very well now. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

MamaKate	I wish I had known that my children would have too. I was promised they would not. My choice would certainly been a different one!!! BTW: Love the new 'do! ETA: Is it really a "better life" at that kind of cost?! Family = Priceless Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

PhilM	No. The problem is that many people don't think of adoption this way. They talk about what's "best for the child" without any understanding of what that really is. They focus on tangibles, without regard to intangibles. They would rather take children out of their families, their culture, their country, rather than finding ways to make it possible for people to stay connected to their heritage. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Meri	I don't think it is ethical to try to convince people who are poor to give up their children to give them a better life. If we want to give those children a better life, we should help their families provide for them via micro-loans, employment, education, etc. There are a lot of children out there who are abandoned, have nothing and no one. Other children have been brutally abused by their families, and their family is a detriment to them. I believe those children should be adopted. There is a fine line between saving a child and buying one. Some kinds of overseas adoptions are more like buying a child than adopting one who has nobody, because the babies have families, however poor they might be. In other cases, when children have been abandoned, like abandoned baby girls in orphanages in China or orphaned children who's parents died of AIDS in Africa, I think it is ethical for the children to be adopted, and IF their home country can't or won't take care of them, they should be adopted by someone overseas who will. A child who has no one should absolutely be adopted, in fact I believe that it is our moral obligation as humans to adopt any child who has been abandoned or abused or orphaned. Having said that, I believe that we have a moral obligation to help deprived regions find economic stability. We have the ability to end extreme poverty, and I believe that we should. For more on that, I recommend Jeff Sachs's book called The End of Poverty. I believe that the parents who do give their children away "for a better life" would not if they knew they could feed them, and eliminating extreme poverty would mean eliminating that dreadful uncertainty. Furthermore (and I realize I am getting up on my soapbox here) most people in rich countries do not understand that while it seems like global poverty does not effect us, it truly has massive consequences. Regardless of what you feel about illegal immigration, the reason that we have such an influx of immigrants is because they cant make enough money where they come from to provide the basics for their family. If things were even just "okay" where they came from, they would not make the dangerous and expensive journey to come here. Many towns in Mexico are nearly devoid of able-bodied men because in order to put food in the mouths of their children they have to work in the U.S. or other wealthy countries. If these folks could keep their families well without leaving their families behind we wouldn't have quite the influx of immigrants that we have. Whether or not that is for better or for worse is debatable, but I won't go there. End of lecture! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Freckle Face	NO!! Lillie, amazing question! ETA: Meri, thanks for the book suggestion, can't wait to read it! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Gaia Raain	Me? Yeah. But then, you've heard about MY family. Hell yes, I'd give them up for money and stuff [ok, ok, I'd give them up for free...but if I could GET the money and stuff, I'd sure as heck take it]! But I wouldn't expect anyone else on this Earth to feel that way, especially about folks they haven't had the chance to get to know yet. Heck, THAT family might just not be psycho. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Independ"ant"	This is probably whats going to have to happen to US families in order for our gov't to prevent US citizens doing it to children from other countries. Great question but unfortunately it will fall on deaf ears to those deperately trying to get a child. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Heather B	No I wouldn't. I can't stand the hipocrisy in adoptoland either :( Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

xoGinaxo	No way! My family and friends are my rock. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Andraya	SURE! I mean why not? Didn't I already have to do this as an infant? Surely it can't hurt any worse as an adult... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Phoenix	Good question, Lillie! Been there, done that. Would never have done it in the first place if I'd had a choice. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Possum	NO. Been there - made to do it - would NEVER do it by my own choice. Money and material things mean nothing. But as it's already been said - those that are desperate for a child - any child - don't often think deeply about what adoption means for an adoptee. And for those that think that being pregnant is just an inconvenience or that the timing is all wrong - and choose to give their babies away thinking that the child will want this - again - need to think more deeply about what adoption means for an adoptee. sigh Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

GreatDemon93	family and loved ones are more important than that stuff. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

LaurieDB	No, of course not. But many adopted people were placed for adoption simply because the parents were unmarried and/or didn't have a lot of money. In some cases, they felt the "time wasn't right." I can't imagine giving away my child over a little money and time, when a couple of years later those issues so often resolve. This is especially so when the mother is a student. It would kill me to look back 20 years later, knowing my own son or daughter wasn't with me because I didn't have the foresight of a couple of years' time. Giving my child away, after all, wouldn't be the same as getting a babysitter for a few years while I gather up a degree and some money. It's permanent. I would have now given away my (most likely) first born. I'd be pretty devastated to look back on something like that. Knowing that the adoptive parents had more money would be no consolation whatsoever. The idea that adoption is a guarantee of a better life is so untrue. Some of us got a good life, others most certainly did not. Some ended up poor or abused or dead -- circumstances that adoption was supposed to circumvent. All ended up being separated from their first families, no matter the circumstance that led to it. As a former social worker who worked with foster children, I know that even when a child's family isn't safe, it's still devastating to the child to be separated. I'm by no means advocating that children remain in unsafe homes (biological, foster or adoptive.) I AM, however, recognizing the loss that goes with it. Anyway, I think that the hope for more money and material things is the worst reason to break up a family. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mishu	No way!!I love my family.What would I do with all the money and material stuff without anyone to share it with?No way.I love my family,and always will even if I dont have a single penny.:)!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

snow flake	Fantastic question, Lillie. The reason given for placing a child for adoption is almost always "to give them a better life". What is meant by that is to give them a life that has the things that more money can provide. The question is...is that life REALLY better? In my own case...I think not. If I could have answered this question as a baby, I would have said, No....but no one asked me what I wanted. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

DANIELA P	No way! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Heather Leigh	Never. my family is more important than anything money could buy. Now, I have an ex-husband that it wouldn't take much persuading to give up. Any takers?? Please.... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

,,!,,baddest~lil~*,,!,,	Absolutely not! What is money without someone to share it with? Love is forever & it never waivers!!! Money comes & goes, & greed will make it disappear! But LOVE is forever, when it comes to family!! I have 5 wonderful children here & the first 3 things they learn to say is Please, Thank You, & I LOVE YOU!!! Those are the most important things to me. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

dory	Money means nothing without my family. And even if I were poor, I can't for the life of me see how my children would be better off with someone other then me - even if they were as rich as Bill Gates. You can't buy real love. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sunny	Everything is replaceable EXCEPT family. There is no substitute. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Lori A	Nice one, I like this question. If you asked me that today I would probably say yes, but not for money. If you had asked me that 30-40- years ago I would have said no, I still had hope for my family. Your right this is what adoptees are expected to do. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1	not a chance! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

birthdad in hell	Let's see I left my house, property, furniture and sold my truck to move from maine to texas. I arrived in houston with a military duffle bag and a backpack in nov 06 to stop my daughters adoption. I am $130,000 into the battle and spend approx. half my in come to travel to nc for 8 hours one weekend a month with my daughter till trial in oct. So i guess family is more important than money or material things to me. but I'll never agree to children being treated as a commodity either. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No