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 Marrige vs adoption and kids??
Okay, let's say a friend of yours was engaged to a man she loved, they were dating for two years, and had planned the wedding.

Then he dumps her. She immediately starts dating again, ...

 Can other birth mothers please share their stories of adoption?
Ive recently become a birth mother and its been very hard and i sometimes want to read other birth mothers experiences and also if you've been a birth mother for awhile please share how it did ...

 Adopting a child If I am single?
If I am single, good stable job, healthy state of mind... and wants to be a parent

what are the requirements for planing to adopt a child if you are a couple (and if you are single)? are ...

 How can my mom adopt a baby girl from china?
my mom is single, and she has a boyfriend right now with 2 kids, but it's nothing serious. she has me, who is soon to be 13, and very good with kids, and my 11 year old sister, who is also good ...

 Curiousity about the 'happy adoptees.'?
Let me start off by saying that I DO believe there is such thing as a happy adoptees who DOESN'T want to search and who DOESN'T feel as though anything was/ has been missing in their life.<...

 If there were no more children available for adoption...?
what would you do to offset the "desire" to raise a child?...

 Isn't the US an economically strong country?
This was in an answer I just read:

"Since Japan is an economically strong country, it rarely has children available for adoption."

It stuck out to me because I ...

 To adopted children...?
I am not adopted so I don't have a first hand expieriance at this, when you found out you were adopted how did you take it, if you took it badly, why? your parents most likely loved you as much ...

 So far on this adoption forum I have heard nice flowing....?
happy stories about your adopted child/children. Is there anyone on here who experenced a total adoption nightmare? Like the child was uncontrolable or had mental illness or worse?
Additional D...

 Who do you feel the least sorry for?
birthmothers who surrender their child at or close to birth or those who lose their children to social services?

Is it worse to make the decision to give up the child straight away or ...

 If children die in care do those who get adopted make the others deaths acceptable?
I spent the better part of the morning reading threw here and this is the common theme.

So a few kids die in care. They are helping a few at least.

So here is your chance to ...

 If you are in reunion why do you continue to complain?
Please help me understand. I do see that you miss your parents. However you also say that you are happy with your adoptive parents. If you are in reunion why do you continue to complain? Do you not ...

 What is the WORST thing someone has said when they found out...?
that your child is adopted? Or that you have placed a child up for adoption? Or that you are adopted?...

 How does birth order work in adoption?
A question that was asked yesterday got me to thinking. In natural families, birth order plays a huge role in family dynamics. For instance, I was the middle child - I was forgotten, cast aside, I ...

 Do all adoptions equal abandonment by the nmother?
I understand some children truly are abandonded by their nfamily. But if an nmother willingly places her child with APs in an open adoption arrangement that is honored by both parties do you still ...

 Do adoption papers include information about ethnicity?
This is a pretty weird question but I was just wondering if adoption papers would contain information about the nationalities of the parents.
My grandfather was adopted and he looks like he'...

 What are the Effects of a Newborn being Separated from his/her Mother?

Additional Details
then adopted by ...

 What has happened to this category? Where is the support that was here when the category was first created?
Okay, I've been gone for a few months, but this category used to be all about offering support and opinions in a postive and respective way. Everyone could voice their opinion but it was done ...

 Open adoption question? Does it confuse the kids to have birth parents involved?
I am an adoptee with a sealed adoption but it seems that open adoptions are becoming much more common. Do the children involve get confused with a birth mom and an adoptive mom involved? Do they ...

 Pro-reformists: What do you think/feel about the TRUE anti-adoptionists?
I've only seen a few who actually think that ALL adoption is sick and should all be banned (and it's been a while). I know some pro-reformists are labled as anti-adoption, but I'm ...

Why do people get paid to adopt or foster children?
I just read an article in my local newspaper that said that families who foster a child get around $1000 a month per child to do this. It also said that families who adopt children get around $600 a month from the govt. for each child they adopt. (in Texas). WHY? I understand the need for money while fostering a child, but why are people paid to adopt a child? If you need the money then why are you adopting in the first place? Besides, isn't the child yours after you adopt them? No one pays me money for my children. I don't get it. Does anyone know if this is true and what the logic is behind it?
P.S. The reason the story was in the paper was because a mother killed her adopted son. She had adopted 3 and was fostering 3 more and was evidently making lots of money doing this.
Additional Details
Thank you Aloha for telling the truth. I think this is a very well kept secret that most of us aren't aware of. I respect you for adopting a child, but I disagree with the fact that you are paid for it.

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I have never heard of getting paid to adopt a kid unless you adopt then go on welfare and i think for fostering kids its kind like child support

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Black Orchid
I've never heard about getting money for adopting a kid. Why would they pay you when they charge so much to adopt a child? Makes no sense. They should just not charge adoption fees.

For foster kids, they get money because that kid is not legally whoever is fostering it. That money is to be spent only on that one child for clothes, allowance, lunch money, and other needs. Whatever the state would pay for the child in an orphanage goes to the foster parents.

Maybe that mother was using the foster kids money for other things than her foster kids. I don't know how on earth she was making money from adopted kids.

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Okay, same thing, I never heard about one getting paid for adopting a kid. Perhaps, if there are logical reasons for this, the government was trying to help family who want to adopt but aren't as financially capable as others. I think it also help the government take care of social issue s as well. If no one's gonna adopt the kids, then they would all be government responsibilities-They'd still have to spend money but no family love will be given to the kids because they only provide basic needs (unlike what'll happen if the kid is taken care in a real small family).
As for the mother who killed her adopted son, that's a vilest thing a mother and a human being can do (for money! Please!!)
Perhaps it is also the sign of flaw in government policy, they should follow up the kids situation even after he or she is adopted.

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Foster parents don't get anywhere close to $1000 a month, I have a 9 month old that the funds don't even come close to supporting her. I love her so much I would do it for nothing.

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♥Charlie loves Lucas♥
would you tell a stay-at-home-mother or a stay-at-home-father that them taking care of their child was not a profession? I find that it's rude to even say that! And those stay-at-home-parents done even get that money from the state, they rely on their partners to go and make money while they take care of the child(ren).
And who would pay for all the food and clothes if no one provided foster parents with some sort of money? its not as if they have been adopted and the parent is no soley responsible. A foster child can be taken from a foster home at anytime and the money to take care of the child will follow him/her until they are placed in an adopted home or with their real parents.
just because one couple of greedy doesn't mean all foster parents are. its probably why they had their license taken away to begin with(not providing a good home that is and only wanting money).

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Most people do not get money for adoption, but for fostering children. Since the child is not legally free for many months to years, it allows children in foster care to be cared for by people who may legitimately want to adopt them, but who cannot legally do so immediately (until termination of rights is completed). Every state has different laws and each person interprets those laws differently. So, while some states and agencies will pay both foster and adoptive parents, some also don't pay either of them. Most states ONLY pay adoptive parents when the child has something significantly wrong with them--physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. that will require more care and expense than a healthy child. We do not receive any money for our foster-to-adopt child. He has significant delays, but is progressing with weekly developmental therapy sessions. We haven't ever received one dime for him or his care. He does receive medicaid to cover his doctors' visits and extensive developmental needs. Since he is not related to us, he is not considered legally ours....so his income is based on his mother's income--which is nothing, as she is incarcerated. So, legally, he is entitled to receive medicaid. Had we been asked to care for a child with his severity of developmental problems WITHOUT the state's help, there is no possible way we could afford to do so. We would be spending thousands per month on healthcare alone, and he wouldn't even legally be 'ours'. At any moment, the courts could decide to return him to his mother, and we would not only lose him, but also thousands of dollars. That wouldn't be fair, nor would it promote foster care adoption. There are MANY children in foster care with specialized needs. If you only want completely healthy children adopted, so be it, I would agree with your premise that they don't need monthly checks. Unfortunately, since so many struggle with serious emotional and mental and physical problems, there would be a VERY few number of adoptive parents who could possibly afford to care for these children without state aid.
<<foster to adopt mommy

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I think this is only for foster to adopt situations. I personally feel it should be rid of. My husband was adopted out of the foster system at 14 to continue getting a check for him. He never saw a dime, she never bought him new clothes and he treated him like crap even in front of my face when I came around. He had to ask for food unless it was a holiday. He was then forced to pay rent when he turned 18, even though he was still in high school. $300 for one bed and little food. Not even a real room of his own... Those checks didn't go to food or the home as the home was paid for in cash and she received food stamps from the government. I can see it going to bills but with 5 kids under 18 getting check for them, I'm sure it was more than enough.

Get rid of the getting money aspect of fostering to adopting so that children can go to homes where THEY are wanted not where people are just waiting on check while spitting in the kids face. It isn't rare in poor neighborhoods where the government is desperate enough to send them to poor homes because there are so many kids that need a home. I know that being poor does not lead to abuse, but to take in kids for money is just wrong.

The good parents out there do not do it for the money and that is great. But there are many that do and they find ways to profit even though the stipends are never enough for the real costs of raising a child.

ETA: I am not talking about medical care, I am talking about actual checks of money that could be cashed! Medical care must be continued, of course!

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The original purpose behind some of these programs were to encourage families, that had the desire to adopt from foster care but not the financial means to do so, giving them a small subsidy for monthly expenses. They also wanted to encourage families to adopt children with special needs, providing some assistance with on going medical needs.
The child qualifies for the subsidy, based on their ethnicity and or special needs, not on the income of the adoptive parents.
All African American, children waiting for adoption are considered, special needs and other ethic groups as well.
The amount of the monthly stipend depends on the state, where the adoption took place.

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Randy B
My situation was the same as Aloha's and we didn't know about the continuation of payments until it was time to finalize the adoption. In our area actually it's a new thing that it's made for all adoption through foster care. It used to only be for those where there was a need due to disabilities and such with the children. They refer to it as "supports for permanence" and it originally came about because parents that adopted children with disabilities through foster care came to realize later on that it was a great financial burden to deal with the issues and ensure the children were cared for properly.

Dealing with the Dept to get aid and assistance for the children was time consuming, costly and only caused greater problems. Also, administering such a program was too expensive for the Dept, especially when as the children got older there were new problems that came up that needed to be dealt with. Take my daughter for example, she has a FASD diagnosis and even though there are no signs now at her infant stage that doesn't mean that things will not come up later on. I may or may not be able to financially handle that, thats yet to be seen, but many can't and the children run the risk of being placed back into the system or of not receiving the care and assistance that their adoptive parents want to provide but are unable to provide.

From a strictly cost perspective it's less expensive to provide support to all then to administer a program investigating and case managing everyone to dish out support to those who come forth. In our case, her money has gone into an RESP (education savings plan) so she will no doubt have college paid for as well as a home when she is old enough. That is assuming we don't need to go into that money to deal with any care issues that may come up as she gets older.

From the outside it seems like an odd way of doing things but from a care prospective as well as a business perspective for the Dept(s) it makes sense. There will always be those who abuse it though just as there are those who abuse welfare, social security as well as unemployment or medical insurance.

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Well i know each state even each county gets different rates and i can assure you we get no where close to 1,000 a month to foster. we get 20.00 a month in clothing allowances really what is 20.00 supposed to buy for a 5 month old that grows like a weed. Then a daily stipend. YOu don't get paid you barley get reimbursed but you don't do this for the money or at least I hope not. For it to be worth it you need to cheat the kids and have lots of them.
As for adoption that subside was put in place specifically for adopting children from foster care and for children with disabilities. The child has to have some sort of diagnosis that will cost you money in medical treatments, meds, therapy etc. It is to help kids get out of foster care because that is a barrier to many people who want to adopt. They may not want to take a child with delays for fear of going bankrupt.

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The minute we adopted our foster kids, all money stopped from CAS and we had to sign papers saying that we were now financially responsible for them. In fact this started during adoption probation.
The only thing CAS did was allow for my son to have any therapy (paid by them) until he is 18 because of Rads.

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Sometimes people undergo assisted adoptions. These are adoptions where their is previously a knowledge that the child's medical/psychiatric bills will exceed most people's ability to manage.

In our case, this assisted adoption lasts until our Eldest is 18. We do NOT receive any money, but if we were ever in a positions where I lost my benefits or something like that, and my child had to go through years of therapy to deal with his abuse etc. they will look at our income, the costs and pitch in some of the "hardship".

We did not ask for this, but in truth, it is nice to know it is there. When my eldest arrived, they had him on a range of drugs, it was ridiculous...first thing we did was ween him off the drugs, then use parental behaviour mod. which has worked great, he is a different child!

But if in years gone by he has to go back on any drugs and I lost my benefits, I could be paying over $600 per month on medicine alone.

So they do not just cut a cheque, it is based on ensuring consistent availability of care is available for children with high needs.

BTW, it is not an adoption incentive, but an insurance. It is a hard decision to take a child with a list of "needs" that can scare a person. We, as previous foster parents, know the "needs: would diminish through time and energy and good parenting, and if needed, medical attention. If though we need to go the medical route, it is good to know we have assistance.

So to reiterate, we do not get paid to adopt, but we have assistance if we truly need it later down the line.

As for fostering, most places you get about 500.00, in some you get more for the needs of the children. That is to pay for all the children's needs. I always spent more than that, jeez some of the old kids who come in can eat that much in food! My actual "foster parent payment" was $100.00 per month. I do not call that payment (not would I want to get paid to foster) so it is not really being paid to foster.

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Mom to Foster Children
Aloha has the same answer I was going to give. While fostering it's to offset the expenses incurred while you are caring for children who are wards of the state. We are by no means "paid" to do this. When our infant was placed with us we received (and still do) a check for him around 230 something dollars a month. This was to provide formula / baby food / diapers / sippy cups / you name it all that came with having a baby - (he is now 2 years old). While we have adopted our son (age 7) he will continue to receive medicaid and a monthly check because of his behavior problems. But to say we do it for the money is beyond crap! We spend most of the money we get for him on clothes as he destroys them if his day isn't going to way he believes it should which lately is almost every day!

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I adopted my son from foster care in 2003. I got a check every month to help with his expenses (food, clothing, etc.). That check continued even after my son was legally adopted and is supposed to continue until he's 18 years old. This check is provided by the Adoptive Assistance Program (AAP) in Los Angeles County and the amount goes up incrementally at various age intervals. For example, my son's check increased by $37 per month when he turned 6.

When I took my MAPP classes through DCFS, I was told that the reason we are given checks by AAP is because it is "cheaper to give incentives to adoptive parents than to continue to pay for the children's expenses until they age out." Crummy, huh?

My son's AAP checks go into a savings account for him for college tuition.

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Adoption Welfare varies by state. In Texas, Aloha Girl wouldn't need to use her stipend for college, since her child would get a free college education paid for by the state, I believe.

I am attaching a link to a chart of the payments and other stipends state by state. It was current as of April 07, so some may have increased. If just a part of the money could go to the natural families maybe the 60% of children who are in foster care due to issues of poverty would be able to stay with their Moms.

Adoption Welfare can be a very lucrative thing, but you never hear anything against it. It is very difficult to shine the light on the fact that yes, indeed, there are people who are making a tidy living off of the children that they foster or adopt. There are unscrupulous people who adopt or foster.

The Welfare Queens that were largely fictitious boogie women created by politicians to scare the American Taxpayer during the 1960's thru the 1990's is now in a different guise...that of Adoption Welfare Queen

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