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 Can I legally do this?
My sister recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. However, she is 18 and says she isn't ready for the baby and wants to give her up for adoption. She told me first and asked if I was ...

 Reunited Adoptees,what are your thoughts?
Do you ever feel that your adoption has shaped the life of your birth family? i often think about how things would be if my mother had not got pregnant with me.. at age 17 she was preparing to go ...

 How do you think having Universal Health Care in the US would effect US domestic adoption?
I think that it might give biological families a chance at staying together, and if that fails, then it might give adoptive families the help they need. I am not anti-adoption, but I do want to see ...

 What has happened to the adoption board?
Someone thinks it would be cool to adopt a child whose legs are fused and I get sent back to square one for calling them an idiot?
People use raw, raunchy language and I get penalized for ...

 What kind of effect does relinquishing a child, have on an extended family. Any suggestions for these people?

 Any birth mothers here that regrete relinquishing, also if your child found you, would you be happy?
I'm in the process of hiring a CI to do my search. Im afraid my birth mom may not want to be found. Any suggestions?...

 Do u have to take a drug test if your parents want to adopt a kid?
im 18 years of age and want to know if i have to take a drug test if my parents adopt another ...

 Have you ever felt guilty for thinking about adoption?
I was thinking about surrendering my daughter to adoption and I changed my mind. But now that I have her home with me and I love her more then life itself I feel so guilty that I ever considered ...

 So what, i am suppose to suffer because of her hang ups?
mom was adopted.

i asked her if we can at least attempt to find our family.she said no.i asked her why and she will not give me an explaintion.

although i can see how she would ...

 Im thinking about adopting a handicapped puppy
his name is finnegan his handicap wont make him sick or die faster he has birth defected front legs which means they didnt develope right hes really cute but he ends up dragging his chest but if i do ...

 Should fparents have their own attorney and SW during the adoption process?
often, we hear about attorneys and SWs being "shared" by both paps and pfmoms/pfparents during the adoption process. even with the best intentions (having the paps leave the room while the ...

 Adoption In Texas.?
I'm almost 4 months pregnant and want to give my baby up to a family who isn't able to have a baby or whatever the case may be.I don't have any support from my family or the father and ...

 Adoption, Bring Kids or Not?
My fiance is adopting my 20 month old and my 2 month old. I was wondering if they need to be there when we have our day in court. We are not fighting for custody or anything my ex is letting him do ...

 Did you have a child born on Feb 13th 1980 and gave him up for adoption?
My son is looking for his birth parents. Please no silly answers. Thank ...

 I have read in several answers to questions that people feel "pre-birth matching should be abolished"...
I was wondering - What does pre-birth matching mean? I'm guessing from context that means that a mother is matched with adoptive parents for her baby before her baby is born. Is that correct?

 I need a thesis statement for abortion vs. adoption?

 Adoptee tribal enrollment--does it benefit or burden the tribe?
I was adopted by a white family; my biological mother is American Indian. Recently, I've thought about digging up the adoption records in order to enroll in the tribe, to establish some genetic ...

 Homes for unwed mothers in the 60"s?

 Getting My Future Husband To Adopt My Daughter?
Im 18 and have a 2 year old daughter {I don't care for any ones ideas on this} and her "birth father" has never paid me anything and isn't in her life. But my boyfriend, age 17 {...

 Adoptees - was it a one time event or is it a lifetime existence?
Do you see adoption as a one-time event or a lifetime existence?

Also, does it make a difference whether it's coming from the adoptee's, the adopter's, or the natural ...

Tara J ™
Why do foster kids get bounced from one foster home to the next?
Is the state doing that or do the foster parents kick them out after a certain amount of time? Why do foster kids get bounced around so much?

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they're brats and ungrateful most likely

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Foster parents get paid very little. As a result, they do have the rights to have a child behave in their home. If the foster child's behavior gets scary or they can't control the kid, he or she gets to try another set of foster parents.

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Suzy Sunshine
The foster system is painfully underfunded and inefficient. They are not able to compensate parents for taking more challenging children, they are not able to attract and keep strong employees and their system is built on a dangerous premise: reunification is top priority.

Foster parents get fed up.

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There are so many reasons, in my twelve years experience as a foster parent, I only ever requested that one youth be moved out of my home. That was because I was a single young woman and he was a violent male, He had held his previous foster Mom up with a knife to her throat, I didn't know that when he moved in. I talked to him and asked him to be honest with me, I told him I didn't feel safe and could he guarantee that part of his life was behind him, he was sad but honest and told me that he couldn't.

Other then that I had children leave because they were chronic runaways and the social worker made that choice. Others only stayed until they were able to get into a long term treatment program. Many were reunited with either their parents or extended family, others were adopted, a couple chose to move out because they were old enough to enter a semi-independant living program and have their own apartment.

In the end I had four, two girls and two boys, two with fetal alcohol syndrome, and we were together almost ten years. They are still MINE...yeah, I'm possesive...lol. We are still in touch and they still come home to visit.

When they moved out, they took my heart and I didn't foster again because I didn't have what I once had to give them. I know that usually they aren't forever situations, but you also never know, and if I wasn't able to commit to forever then I won't even attempt it. I was too sad and couldn't risk it again.

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sometimes the state finds someone more suited,
sometimes the foster parents give em the boot cause they dont want to take care of them
sometimes they're not eligable to take care of them past a certain time

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I think it's because the social workers don't put much effort into finding a family that can adequately care for the child. Matching a child with a family that can't meet his needs wont work out and the kid is stuck moving on to another family.

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r s
When I was a foster parent I have at least 5 moved from my home by SWs playing god.... two because they waited until a black home had an opening, one because she decided the kid needed to away from him sibs, one because they made him at a high level foster care and placed him in a home that attended like 5 hours more training, and one they up and decided to send to residential after the school complained about his behavior..

often in many places it takes a foster home disruption to qualify a child for a high foster care rate

sometimes it is because they send the kids back home and then bring them back into care

sometimes it is because the people selling RAD treatment con local agencies into sending kids to them at $500 per day rate

and sadly, I have know people who fostered and only kept the easier to deal with kids in their home...

the system is very broken and needs fixed

no child who has a 20-30% chance of returning or better to birth home should ever be removed

it actually is very true the main reason foster care is there and not group homes is to keep the cost down..

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Looney Tunes
Several reasons:

1) The foster parents can no longer "handle" the child or decide they don't want to deal with that child and therefore ask that the child be removed.

2) The workers decide that there is a better match.

3) The child's plan changes. So for example, a child might become legally adoptable after their bio-parent's rights are terminated. This puts them into a different category and maybe a family that wants to adopt the child wants to try it out.

4) The foster children act-out and the parents are not TRAINED well enough, so they get scared and want the kid gone.

5) Sometimes after awhile of living in a safe place, a child may admit that additional abuse (usually sexual) has occurred. This might freak foster parents out and they might decide they can not handle the child.

6) Sometimes, kids because they were hurt so much, can't bond well. They act-out because they are scared. If the foster parents are not trained and educated enough to understand the effects of severe abuse, it will never work.

7) Some people just want the $$. Hard children, they don't want.

8) Face it. Kids that were hurt are going to be challenging. They don't trust, they are angry, they react the way they were raised. If foster parent's are not ready for that, they will get rid of a child in a heartbeat.

I was "bounced" because of wetting my bed too much. I was also "bounced" because I stole from my foster parents (long story). But these are common behaviors among foster children and my foster parents did not want to handle me anymore. I was "bounced" because a family moved and did not take me. I was "bounced" because the state found out that the ******* foster father was abusing the foster kids. Also, there were several times I have NO IDEA why I was "bounced." That sucks too.

The whole system sucks.
Also, the older you get, the more bounced you will get. .... why? Teenagers are harder than 4 year olds. They react more, have more opinions, etc.

In general, if the foster parents aren't trained and educated enough about the results of abuse and neglect, then a child with a severe abuse or neglect history will bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce....because the foster parents won't understand the child's behaviors.

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