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 Why are people against international adoption?
I know a white woman who has just been approved for adoption. She's being placed with a little girl from India. She went through a legitimate agency and it took her 2 years to be placed. People ...


 Do you have to have a lot of money to adopt a child?
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 Do you think a prosp. adoptive parent should have a lie detector test before adopting a child?
Having to answer questions like, do you want to be a forever parent through good and bad, rich and poor, health and sickness, forever and ever? Etc. etc.?
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What other ...


 Why do people who are adopted don't want a be, while people who aren't adopted would rather be?

Additional Details
This is a question my mother posted....


 Why do you think some people keep coming back to this site?
There are several people here who know more than most because they have done their home work instead of just giving their opinions. Why do you think they keep coming back instead of just moving on ...


 In general, how long does it take to adopt a child?
I would like to know how long it usually takes from the time you start the process to the time you bring your child home....


 Do people believe you when you tell them you're adopted?
I'm adopted, and whenever i tell my friends or whoever they always say, "you're joking." or "no you aren't". not in a mean way. i have to keep telling them, and ...


 Does it ever get easier?
I was hoping to get a little input from those of you out there who have placed a child for adoption. I placed my son a year and a half ago and to this day it rippes my heart out to think about what I ...


 Have you ever felt discriminated against for being adopted?
I once had a boyfriend who told me I could never tell his family that I was adopted because they would never accept him dating an adoptee. It was something about not being good enough for my own ...


 What are a teenage boys rights when it comes to adoption of his child?
My 16 year old son has just informed me that his girlfriend is 3mo. preg. Her father is trying to convience the two that they need to place the baby up for adoption. What are his rights and do I have ...


 Would a foster agency ever place a white kid with a black family? If not, why not?
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 Adoption Regret...Only Those with experience?
I have relative who is young and thinking about putting her unborn child up for adoption. Do any of you have adoption regret and wish you could change what you did?
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O...


 Did Anyone Else Get Judged About Adopting A Child.....????
I am so hurt, because I don't have the support from my extended family.
My Husband & I have 4 children of our own (2 sets of twins -newborns & nearly 3yos son's). We have put ...


 I need to make a question , but i can't put it into words...?
So i have a debate on same sex adoption ( same sex couple who want to adopt kids). So if a same sex couple adopt a child, the child will lack a mother and a father. How will the same sex couple deal ...


 My heart is set on open adoption (as an AP), but?
Our state doesn't allow open adoption through the foster care system. I believe that children do better with open adoption, and truly want to adopt again, but with our state not allowing this, ...


 Hey m 17 years old i want 2 adopt a child 4m orphan,z dis de corrt age,i wanna sum advice?
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 I hate being adopted!!!?
I am adopted and I hate my family both all of them including all of the foster parents. Infact I was adopted twice. The first one dont remeber much cus I was goven up by mom at 2 weeks. She did crack ...


 Is it easy to "get on with your life" after relinquishing a child?
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 Caseworker said she has 3 boys to place with us for adoption.?
Basically, the case worker has told us (Husband and I) that she has 3 boys - 2,4,&6 that she wants to place for adoption with us. I am scared to death since we have no children now and how do I ...


 Do parents who have adopted a child treat that child as their own?
This question is mainly for those who have adopted and have not birthed children of their own. I'm sure most parents who adopt have the best intentions, but do they get the same fulfillment as ...



LovetheLORDfirst
What things can get a child taken from their parents...?
I have Never met anyone who has had their children taken from them by the Child Protective Services, and yet, there are So many foster kids! When I asked how we can reform the foster care system, someone said there should be a zero tolerance policy for abuse, so when children are taken away from their bio-parents, they are immediately up for adoption, but what constitutes abuse?

What could cause them to be taken away in the first place, and what options do bio-parents have in order to get them back?

Thanks for your answers! God bless!



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The Return of the Loose Cannon
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bad body odor

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Tyler Durden
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cheap teddy bears or blankets and PJ's/

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Independ"ant"
A society that really doesn't give a crap about "them and their" problems.

I think this sums it up.

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mom of many
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I am a foster Mom and in the case of two I have. The Mom's boyfriend beat and hurt the children and was arrested and bailed out. social services said the Mom could keep the kids but they could have no contact with the boyfriend. she choose to live with the boyfriend instead. Sad, huh? I have had them for 4 years and she can only have supervised visits.(she probably sees them a half hour a month, her choice). To get them back she needs job, telephone, reliable sitters, no contact with ex boyfriend, parenting classes, alcohol or drug classes and lots of contact to once again bond with children. And many months of following this. In other cases I am sure there are other things involved but this is real stuff with our case.

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Mom to Foster Children
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I have had one foster child who was taken away because his mother taped his sisters mouths shut - he eventually went home after three years of her working her a$$ off to get him back.

I still have one foster child who was taken because of drug abuse - went back home to his father (who he was not taken from originally) and was taken again because of rules his father broke.

I have an adopted son who was taken because of drug abuse and neglect.

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♥Save The Seals♥
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Physical abuse
Neglect
Alchol and drug users
Physiological abuse

If parents were willing to take part in learning programmes such as life skills,parenting skills then maybe a gradual re-introduction back to family life would be approate.

Sometimes parents make mistakes and show read regret so i dont feel all children should be put up for adoption.

In the UK i feel we have severe problerms with our social service policy and procedures.

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yeahright
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I used to live in an apartment where the walls were paper thin. I could hear the never ending screaming that mom hurled at her baby CONSTANTLY--like for hours at a time every single night. She would scream at him and yell at the top of her lungs that she hated him. The baby couldn't have been more than 2 and cried pretty much 24/7. I didn't know what to do--I was 18 years old and finally I knocked on the door and asked if she needed a break. Honestly, my heart was in the right place. She basically told me to F off and slammed the door in my face. I finally called family services when I heard her hitting him. I am shocked that noone had done it prior-maybe they had. The sad thing was that she was still at it for the next six months though I didn't hear hitting any longer. Personally, I think the chronic screaming "shut up, I hate you, you're ugly, you wrecked my life, I wish you were dead" 24/7 might have been worse than the physical abuse. The kid was dirty (and not just the normal dirty kids get) and she would take him outside with out proper clothing (it gets below zero here) with a diaper and no pants or jacket. She would drag him violently down the hall by his arm. I was scared to the bottom of my heart about the future of this kid and I was too young/stupid to know what to do. I know what I'd do now.

Supervised visits in the above? Maybe. Parenting classes, maybe. But if it is all about for the good of the child, no--I don't think she should have been left alone with her child any longer.

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Kristy
In my line of work, non-compliant parents can lose their children. A non-compliant parent is one who shows up in the ER 3 or more times with their physically disabled child for a problem that could have been avoided (ie nasal canula is off, oxygen is not administered, meds have not been given, etc). I've seen them taken away for various compliance issues in addition to the reason listed by others above. In some cases the parents are deemed unfit and the children are placed in medical facilities or with medically-trained foster parents. Since these parents have to take classes before their children are ever sent home with them, they are rarely given a second chance. In the two cases I have been part of where a parent was given a second chance, one child died and the other was taken away permanently two months after being returned.

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kidmindi
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Most of the time bio parents are given a chance to get their act together before their kids are taken away; unless of course there is extreme or life threatening situations

Once the kids are taken the parents are given around a year to follow their case plan before the court starts proccedings to terminate parental rights.

My ex BIL and his wife had a filthy house. CPS tried to work with them. The mother was given home making and parenting classes. Because of the roach infestation, the court ordered them to keep a contract with an extermination company.

The whole family pitched in and helped them clean their house, however the mother would not keep it clean. She was too lazy to get off the couch and wash her dishes, do her laundry and cook her kids a decent dinner. (most of hte time the kids lived on McDonald's double cheese burgers)

After about a year of this, CPS put the kids in foster care. The parents were worked with for another year but never got their act together and the kids were eventually adopted by an aunt and uncle.

Some of the things that CPS will become involved with a family for are, envioronmental neglect (extreme filth); inadequit supervision (leaving kids unattended below the age of 12 or with a person who is not capable of caring for them properly), physical abuse; sexual abuse; and parental drug abuse,

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Flying Monkey #073177
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I made the choice to put my son in foster care but they did take him from me in the end. Allow me to explain.

I was almost 19 and struggling with anorexia. I knew I needed intensive treatment and I called child welfare asking for guidance and if there were any support programs available to people like me. I was matched with an in home support worker who suggested putting him in temporary care so I could get in patient treatment. They told me they would help me secure that treatment and would help me with obtaining other resources. They didn't help me one bit. Thirteen years ago the diagnosis criteria for eating disorders was very rigid and since I had not lost 20% of my body weight I didn't qualify for treatment despite the fact that I was 5'3" and 79 lbs. I have been anorexic since my pre teen years and have never been at a normal body weight for someone my height and body type. So I got not treatment here. I looked into a clinic in another province that was willing to take me and told the social worker, by this time 7 months had passed. She assured me they would help me get out there and pay for the treatment. Two weeks later they told me they were going to seek permanent guardianship over my son and I had to relinquish my rights. If I didn't relinquish and they had to terminate he would be placed in permanent foster care and would be considered unadoptable, he would spend his life bouncing around in foster care. If I relinquished he would stay with his foster family and they would adopt him...

What could I do? I couldn't let Justin rot in care, I loved him too much for that to be his fate so I signed.

So when you get down to the nitty gritty of it I lost my son because I reached out and asked for help that was difficult to obtain. I tried to heal a horrid disease that was killing me and I lost my son over it. I would never again go this route. I would rather struggle alone than ask for help and since that day I have done it alone, without a whole lot of success. At least my family has remained intact since then, with the exception of Justin, and my girls are still my girls. The way I see it I am better off sick and barely managing my disorder than I am asking for assistance and loosing my daughters as well.

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ramseycat@att.net
Abuse, Neglect, Endangering their Emotional, Physical, or Mental Health. There are parents out there that don't even deserve to be raising cats and dogs, let alone children. I knew of a case where child protective services walked into a home, noticed a smell, and discovered that the children were eating something something unimaginable (I can't even mention what, because it would sicken readers) because there was no food in the home. Since it was summer time, they had no access to free school lunch. Some parents just don't have a clue how to be a parent, and don't deserve second chances. Abuse is defined by the law. Ask Child Protective Services and they'll give you the manual on what gets a child removed from a home. They have guidelines to follow.

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Mummy2Dylan
Rating
junkie parents, parents that let their kids starve, parents whos little kids roam the streets all day, beating their kids or constantly putting them in dangerous situations/around violence or molesting their own/other kids

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Ariana
You know I recently read in my local newspaper about a baby who was badly beaten by his parents-yes a 6 mos old baby. While that's extremely sad, the worst thing is that the baby had been taken away from his parents at birth, due to a lot of previous history, but then RETURNED to them only 3 mos ago! And now that little baby is in the hospital!!
So when I read something like this, I agree that there should be Zero Tolerance, and that baby should have been placed up for adoption 6 mos ago!!

As for what constitutes abuse, well there's also neglect. When a parent doesnt care properly for the child ie leaving him alone when he's not of an age to be alone, bringing bf into a house with children, drinking ,etc

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Idiot kid (is female...)
Uh...beating your child?

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♥♥Rita♥♥
First off whe a child is taken from their n/parents they are not usually immediately put up for adoption, In cases of shocking and heinous abuse, immediate termination of parental rights can be asked for....but even that takes time.

When the above mentioned does not take place, parents are given a court ordered treatment plan whereby they have to address the reasons that led to the removal of the child/ren in the first place. That could be anger management and counseling for domestic abuse issues; substance abuse treatment for drug related removals; parenting classes for 'inability' to parent.....or any of those combinations. If, for instance, a family is found to be living in dangerous housing, are under the influence of drugs and they are beating the crap out of each other....all in front of their kids, then a treatment plan is ordered to address all of that....including the family getting a job if they are unemployed. Sometimes the parent(s) are also found to be in need of mental health treatment...if that is the case, then a plan is ordered that will address that.

If, after a time, the family cannot or will not complete the court ordered treatment plan, then a petition for termination is submitted via the courts and then termination is granted or not. In my state and probably in most others, the parents can appeal the termination whereby the appelate courts would hear the termination and could overturn the termination or uphold it......whatever.

Sometimes..........the only issue a family will lose custody (temporarily) of their child/ren is becasue of abuse of the child/ren. That could be physical, sexual, emotional....or all three. The family may have a great house, wonderful jobs, no substance abuse issues....they are just abusive to their kids...and the 'non offending' parent fails to protect the child/ren from the abuse.

You can check out this infroamtion on various websites....

www.childwelfare.gove is one that comes to mind.

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