What should I do in this situation?

Show all answers

Post your answer

Lori A	So your sister's a crack whore, nice of you to appoint yourself a better parent without giving these people the benefit of the doubt with their own child. Lots of people HAVE DONE DRUGS that does not mean they all continue to do drugs while pregnant. Why are you concerned about hair, when there is so much more to be considered? Sorry, but it sounds to me like you have got this poor child pigeon holed into your adaptation of the "BETTER LIFE". Whose to say that your sister won't snap out of it and assume responsibility of this child? I think your going to have to wait and see if your sister proves to be an unfit parent before attempting to take her child. Too bad your not willing to help her become a decent parent like you assume yourself to be, but can only fathom harvesting her offspring for your very own. Do you even have children of your own? Could this be part of the problem? Have you considered working for CPS? Your pretty good at assumptions and have the willingness they are looking for to separate families. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Mom of 4 1/2	maybe she'll be able to grow up since shes gonna have a baby. having a baby changes alot of peoples lives. if she wants to have the baby, and is a good mom, then you cant do anything about it. if she ends up being a terrible mom and it gets taken away, then try to get custody of her baby to help her and the baby out. stop trying to steal peoples kids. and a 25% black baby and 75% white would have white peoples hair Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Love	first let me say you're right to be concerned. drug use is indicitive of self-discipline issues, in my opinion. smoking a couple joints when you were 15 because your friends were doing it is completely different than what it sounds like you're trying ot say here. and if your sister and her boyfriend can barely feed themselves sometimes, how in the world do they expect to be able to pay for EVERYTHING a baby will need. and then when the baby grows a little and they need to buy a whole new set of clothes. i know you know all of this already. i think i might have an idea that could shed a little light on this situation for your sister. obviously you have internet access or you wouldn't be on yahoo answers. so invite your sister over one day, have lunch and bring the subject up on a lighter note. like don't come on strong about it. basically, in my sophmore year my teacher gave the class an assignment that was a little different. he wanted us to go online and find all the things needed for a baby for the first year of life and calculate all of that up. even if you could find the cheapest things, you had to add it all up. estimate how many diapers a day (about 6 or so) and do all that. we all saw the numbers and i'll tell you what, it scared us straight. those were some big numbers and that was probably the most effective sex-ed assignment that year. there are some people who only make that much in a year. but rent and utilities and food for yourself and transportation on top of what the baby would cost you is just ridiculous. if you can find a way to do almost the same thing with your sister, it might help. best case scenario, she'll see the big numbers even with the cheapest things you can find and start to think about it realisticly. and that's all you can ask of her at this point. just ot think about it realisticly. good luck hun :-) hope i helped a little Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Heather B	It doesn't sound like she is giving the baby up for adoption. You're her family, so Help her! not by helping yourself to her offspring, but by being supportive and help her become a proper Mother to her baby. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Niki C	See if you can do a type of open adoption to where you have custody and legal rights over your niece/nephew but your sister has visitation. And if the baby has "the black people hair" I would just try getting to know some of your black neighbors with kids and just go to them openly and honestly with your questions. I would not say "the black people hair" though, you could just ask for suggestions on how and what to do with the kid's hair. Plus, just like most babies toss a barrette or ribbon on a baby girl's hair or cut and brush a boy's. Easy. Glad you are being responsible Best of Luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cantstopLinnyG	You can pay to get what done? Even though you may have not been trying to "sound racist or anything", you did. You shouldn't try to take this baby from her mother. She already has a mother, and a father who may share her "black people hair". Just because she may have done drugs in the past doesn't mean she will now, or in the future. Nor does it mean she won't be a good Mom. Not only do you sound too racist and immature to be a good mother, you sound too racist and immature to be a good Aunt. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Happy to be her mommy	ok, first of all if you're serious about adopting this baby, how you're going to do her "black people hair" is the least of your worries. and second of all, has your sister even consented to letting you adopt her baby??? maybe you should talk to her before you start planning on how you're going to get the child's hair relaxed. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

red elephants	Is she currently doing drugs? If so there are residential treatment homes for women trying to get clean while pregnant. A family friend sounds a lot like your sister and went into a treatment home. She was able to stay clean most of her pregnancy because of it. There are lots of programs out there to help girls in your sisters situation try to get clean and their life on track during their pregnancy and help them keep their kids. For our friend she ended up having her son taken away permanently about a year after his birth because she personally could not keep a clean lifestyle and he was at risk with her. But if your sister and her boyfriend are really dedicated and want to try then there are options out there for them. They should get into parenting classes and such. Support her all you can. If she cant make it then be there for her child. If the child does have hair you can't handle there are hair salons you can go to. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

HiTMANOXO	talk to her about it Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

yeahright	You do sound a little insensitive to the racial thing--but most people don't know how to talk politically correct about the items you brought up. You don't sound malicious at all and I commend you for asking the questions when so many others jump ugly on you on here with out thinking through their answers. THIS IS WHY PEOPLE DON'T TALK ABOUT RACIAL ISSUES PEOPLE--YOU JUMP DOWN THEIR THROATS!! Now that I got that off of my chest.... I can't believe when there is a chronic history of drugs and unsafe decisions of the potential parent that there are people in the world on here that say YES, because of the bio ties, that is exactly where that baby is going to be best raised. If she's doing drugs while pregnant--YOU do the right thing and intervene with your family. If she doesn't get a clue and start making better choices, call DHS and report the lifestyle of the parents and your concerns. If the parents get help and are clean and are pulling their lifestyle out of the dumpster for the sake of the child, she should parent and that is her choice--if not--she SHOULD have the child taken for the child's sake. It is call about being what is best for the child right everyone? Atleast that is what you usually say. And a drug addled parent who who knowingly birthed a drug addicted baby and doesn't find HELP prior to delivery SHOULD have DHS called..end of story. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Freckle Face	Amanda, I would try being a supportive sister and encourage her to stop the drugs while pregnant. Once the baby comes be there for the child. It is not your place to decide if she should give her baby to you or not. If at some point you feel the child's life or welfare is in serious danger, then you call social services. At that point become a guardian to your niece. I can understand your confusion with dealing with curly hair. You have years and years to even worry about "relaxers". Pony tails and braids, and really good leave in conditioner while they are little. I actually believe natural hair with wild curls looks so much more beautiful than relaxed hair. In the future if you ever need help for your niece's hair, just ask me. I rock at taking care and styling curly hair. Don't mean to toot my own horn, but boooowaahhhhh. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No