What do children owe their parents?

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An Average Joe	It is amazing this question gets asked inside adoption. Few weeks ago I met a fifteen year old girl who was rescued from foster care for three years. She is a wonderful young lady and feels she owes her Mom and Dad everything. In my personal situation, my kids owe me things that will benefit them. School work, common decency, clean bedrooms, their share of dishes and trash, staying out of trouble. These things benefit them in the short and long run. My Mom is 74 and likes to keep to herself. When she does ask me for something, unless it will disrupt my home it gets done for her. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Kym M	I think just some respect and manners depending on what kind of upbringing they had. I didn't have such a good one but as my mum is the only one left alive and she is trying to make up for her mistakes I try to give her respect as she is my elder. :) Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sophie	I don't think my son owes me anything. That's kind of silly when you think about it. I do tell him that I want to help him to be the best he can be... right now, its to be the best 3 year old he can be. I expect him to learn through playing with his friends and listening to me. I try to find healthy alternatives to any negative issues in his life. Some people say respect... but I had to earn his respect. I think respect and trust go hand in hand. I've also earned his trust. I never want to loose that. I LISTEN to him alot. He listens to me... SOMETIMES (he's only 3)! And that is what a 3 year old does. I just want him to be happy, healthy, well-balanced, and self-supportive when he is older. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Daisey Duck	I don't believe a child owes their parents anything. My mom and dad always said A child owes their parents nothing. They owe it to themselves to build a life for themselves. They owe it to themselves to find happiness in life. They owe it to themselves to make the right choices. If you were raised with love and respect, I believe you will return the love and respect. As it is earned not owed. I did everything I could to help my parents, especially my mom after my dad passed. Not because I owed her because I loved her and wanted to. Parents whether adopted or natural, owe their children love support and guidance as they grow. As no child asked to be born. If the parents did the best they could and taught the child respect, common sense, and compassion, then the child will want to be there for them when they are grown. For me I was always there for them because I loved them and respected them not because I felt I owed them. Great question by the way. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

*Giggles*	depends on whehter or not they were good parents Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jennifer L	I can't think of anything that children owe to their parents, that parents do not owe to their children. Respect: If you don't treat your children with respect, how do you expect them to ever give respect in return? Love: Same difference. Children who are loved by their parents can love in return. So, children don't owe their parents anything that parents do not owe to their children. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Freckle Face	Nothing. There should be no debt to pay for being born or adopted into a family. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

lambykins	Children owe their parents sh@t. Seriously if you love your parents and give them the respect they may or may not deserve then what else can be asked. :0 Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Kim	I do not think that children owe their parents anything. Hopefully, as the child grows, the child and parents will develop a relationship built on love, trust and mutual respect. In my opinion, if the relationship is built, the adult child will usually want to continue the relationship with his/her parents into adulthood, as equals/friends -- who are there to support and help each other when possible. However, that relationship should be made by CHOICE, not obligation... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

IDK!!	Funny thing is I just had this conversation wit a friend who doesn't wish to find his first parents. He said that it's the least he could do for the people who raised him. My though is all parents are owed, when they give birth or adopt, is to parent, nothing more. Respect is earned and something not all parents deserve. Children are still their own people with feelings and choices. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Metal Princess	As a child (age 24) of a parent, I feel that I owe my mother (the one who brought me into this life and raised me as I am today) as sort of self congratulatory slap on the back. She did a good job. Thanks mom! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Violated Meppa	Children owe their parents nothing at all. Parents decide to have children. I think parents owe the kids a good education and a reasonable life!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sofiakat	I can not answer for my children, as to what they owe me, because I am not sure if they owe me anything at all. I do know that I owe my own mother a big a hug and a huge thank you for all she did for me. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sly	I don't believe that a child owes a parent anything. Owing indicates a bargain was struck and a tally is being kept. Rather, if I want my children to treat me with respect, I must offer them respect; if I want them to love me unconditionally, I must give them that love all their lives. If I want my children to accept my differences as I get older, I must cherish theirs when they are young. If I want them to visit me when I am old, I must enjoy their company when they are little. If I want them to respect my opinions, I must value theirs when they offer one. Parents owe their children and they later reap what they sow. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Morgaine	Children do not owe their parents anything. Children do not ask to be born (or adopted) into a family, so really, they are not responsible for their parents. Parents on the other hand owe their children the basic necessities in order to live a happy life (I am not talking about new cars and college education, though I do believe that parents should have to provide some sort of college education to their children). Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Heather Leigh	My children do not owe me anything. I can't demand respect. I have to earn it by being respectful to them. The same with Love, you can't demand it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sunny	They owe me nothing. They give to me every day by simply being themselves. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Lypiphera	if they were crappy parents (i mean really crappy, not just strict. like beating, starving, neglecting not buying clothes etc bad) then nothing. children do not choose to be born. they do not choose the way they are raised. if they fed you, clothed you, provided for you when you were unable to provide for yourself, then i believe a child should (at least in part) try to make their later lives easier. eventually old people can't provide for themselves. i do believe that parents need to earn the respect of their children. I lucked out, I have awesome parents. Mom and Dad, I love you! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

celtic.piskie	You can only owe someone something if you agreed to give them something. My daughter came into this world, she didn't ask to be born, she didn't ask to be loved, cared for, bounced up and down on the side of the bed and fed for 3 hours while she's fussy. I do that because i love her, and it's what i choose to do. She never owes me anything, why would she? She's a child! I love her, and i choose to do this. I have hopes for her, sure. I hope that she grows to be a happy, fulfilled person, and i hope that she will do things for others like the rest of our family do for each other. Why should she be indebted for things that I choose to do, that just seems bizarre to me./ forcing a debt on a child when they had no say in the agreement. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Peaness	I don't believe children owe their parents anything. That is where a lot of issues and problems arise in child/parent relationships (whether adopted or not) when the parent things that they are 'owed' something... If the parent is doing their job properly the respect, the honor and manners they show their own child by EXAMPLE will normally be mimicked by their own children. Some parents have this misconception that, "Hey I fed you, I clothed you, gave you a place to live so now you owe me respect, have to take care of me when I get older..." Screw that sh!t. We wonder why children grow up to be so selfish and never do anything out of just doing a good deed. They are taught if you do this for me then I will do this for you...no, it shouldn't work that way but unfortunately many people have this idea engrained in their heads all because their own parents taught them that they owe them. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cruzgirlz3	I don't think kids owe their parents anything. To owe something means you are paying something back in return for what you have been given. I personally do not want my kids giving me anything out of a sense of payback or obligation. I am their mother, it is my joy and responsibility and agony and frustration to sacrifice and care for them. They don't have to pay me back. I do it because I love them. That doesn't mean that parents should not have expectations for their kids. But to expect the best and have high standards is not the same as "collecting" back something owed to you. My kids have added so much to my life. They don't owe me a thing. I give freely because I love them and they give back because they love me. I would hate the thought that my kids were showing me respect merely out of a sense of duty or obligation. I'm raising kids, not robots. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

tish	nothing. in my opinion, children should be taught to respect their parents, but any debt to them is ridiculous. this is why i love to hear people make statement such as ,"i want a baby so that i can have someone to love me." um...buy a puppy. i say this again, kids are not indebted to their parents. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Heather B	My children owe me nothing. It's up to them to look back on their lives and judge whether or not I was a good parent to them. I think it's mainly adoptees who are told by strangers on the internet to be grateful and remember that their aparents changed their diapers, soothed their boo-boos and fed them as if somehow we are indebted! I am so happy that my adoptive mother doesn't feel that way LOL I love her because she's a loveable person; not because I owe her anything. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

simon m	Children do not owe their parents anything, you bring a child into this world you are responsible for them up to so far, beyond which they have to carry themselves and maybe have their own kids to be responsible for. But at no point in a child's life should a parent engage in the kind of emotional blackmail that involves words like "After all i've done for you". This leads children into an unyielding web of confusion as to where to draw the line between existing solely to please their parents, and living for themselves, and this is the sort of pressure that may produce emotionally damaged, rebellious individuals. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Tedi	Do we owe anyone anything? We own our own life. If you had good parents then you probably love them. If you had bad ones what do you owe them? Nothing. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Bob B	I owe my stepdad a bloody nose and a few broken bones Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Gaia Raain	NOT.ONE.DAMN.THING. I don't owe them my LIFE, because they made their own choices. I didn't ask for this. I don't owe them my happiness, because I have it NO thanks to them. I don't owe them anything from my childhood, because if they'd had their way, I wouldn't have bothered them with it. I don't owe them any thanks because I've given THEM far more than they've EVER given me, and THEY never bothered to thank me. I repeat: I DON'T OWE MY PARENTS ONE DAMN THING. And neither does anyone else. And to my would-be censors: Since my emotionally charged answers keep getting deleted, BRING IT ON. You CAN'T shut me up. I have a right to speak my truth, even if it does get deleted. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

JennaBear	I think children owe it to their parents to live the most authentic life they can. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

seabeck man	It depends what kind of parent they have. not all parents are equal. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Rhiannon	I don't think children "owe" their parents anything. And any good parent will tell you the same. When a person decides to have a child, that is a commitment. A child is a demanding selfish thing by nature. HOWEVER, I do believe that if you have raised your child to be compassionate and loving then THAT is payment enough because you won't have to worry about the child "owing" anything to the parent, they will just step in when the time comes that their loved one(s) need help. In the end, a child may feel that they "owe" their parent(s) a Hell of a lot. But a good parent knows that a child owes them nothing. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Gershom	nothing. My children owe me nothing. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No